John Green thread

did he put this in a book or is it just something he said?

It's in The Fault in Our Stars.

You only need to refrigerate eggs now because they're washed. Historically eggs didn't need to be refrigerated (which is good since that generally wasn't possible).

>Greenposting will never go away so long as this fag keeps shitting out garbage that makes him money

This is why brunch is the greatest of all meals. You can combine foods from breakfast, lunch, and dinner in incredible ways.

Nothing is stopping you from doing that with every meal.

Nothing except the fact that a lot of restaurants only serve brunch during the weekends. Every now and then you'll find a Godly place that serves weekday brunch, though.

Then make your own food, you manchild.

>breakfast sandwich
>cheerioes
>life is like pizza
Why is this cunt always talking about food?

Have you ever tried to make your own eggs Benedict or migas? It's kind of hard.

wow, brilliant insight green, what an incredibly profound thinkpiece about american culture. who else but green is bold and audacious enough to break free of social norms and ask these sort of mindblinding questions? who else but green would dare to face the wrath of the egg-for-breakfast-ONLY committee to defy these archaic mealtime laws? social conventions be damned, i say! let's eat cheerios for dinner and clam chowder for a midnight snack! by piercing through the veil of breakfast exclusivity, green has opened a gateway drug into a whole new world of abnormal eating habits. why do we eat with our hands? the foot is just as flexible. why consume with the mouth? a real man communes with his soul. thank you green, for enlightening the world and bringing us out of the dark ages, when medieval peons supped on yolk in the wee hours of the dawn. now, we can taste the cooked ambiotic fluids of unborn avians whenever we wish to- all thanks to you, mr green.

I want this fucker to die in obscurity and never be mentioned again. I want this cancer excised from my Veeky Forums.

It's like he's channeling JD Salinger but faggy.

Because he has no deeper sense of self or inner life. None of these pop artists do. So they latch on to things that trigger the few sensations they do feel, like those that come from the five senses. Taste is arguably the "deepest" of those five senses, so a lot of these shallow people become foodies, or try to. They think it's a substitute for their lack of humanity.

This. Shitheads like (((green))) have lived on easy mode. The best novelist know real suffering.

My father's job in D.C. had imprinted on him a wide array of peculiar qualities, foremost of them being his undying love for checklists. In fact, the ideas of his parental duties and managerial compulsion of filling the boxes intertwined in a charming if somewhat awkward display. No wonder, then, that as soon as I hit twelve he started his bedroom talks with me, a training course with presumably a test at the end.
- Son, do you now what intercourse is?
Sure I did. Syd told his tall tales in the locker room before every practice, licking his lips all the while. There was an abundance of euphimisms childish even in my then humble age.
- Well then, we can skip that pasrt. Now to condoms.
- Dad, I know that I need to use a condom.
- "Need" is a weak word. Such matters should not be some distant theoretical knowledge but be ingrained right in your frontal lobe. Do you ever crave chicken?
My father knew well that I liked birds.
- We all feel a certain something when we see a raw chicken breast, yes, but it's not a good idea to eat it.
- Dad, cooked chicken is a heaven on a plate, but I never...
- Don't kid yourself, kid. You know you know it. But ancient man invented fire to quell those impluses. Salmonella kills.
Anyway, he did talks like that, some of his concepts a bit alien at the time.
- Bananas were phallic ones, and that caused a great deal of discomfort, so now every responsible parent circumsizes their boys.
- Dad, I don't really feel sexual attraction to fruits!
- Carrots then, or cucumbers. Moral is there is no place for food in the bedroom; yeast infections are no fun.
- Can you really get a yeast infe...
- I mean yeast infection of the soul.

Unironically this

>dostoevsky was saved at the last moment from a firing squad and spent years in prison with only a bible
>joyce lived in poverty in foreign countries and taught english to sustain himself
>Akutagawa lived in severe depression

>john green is rich, famous and listens to quirky indie pop

What.

Did he have severe depression or did he live in a depression?

Why does John Green look like he lives with his mother?

With

becuase he's so nerdy and quirky like ME xD

Don't tell me you work for a living. Every human should have 16 waking hours a day at his disposal.

>your teenage cousin unironically enjoys these books

Absolutely deplorable.

For a brief moment, i thought you were going to compare him to Dr. Seuss with the Grinch and Green Eggs and ham.

Why is it deplorable? Green is perfect for getting teens into reading.

...

Scrambled eggs is undoubtedly a breakfast food. But you can put fried eggs on a meal any time of day (ramen, burgers, bibimbap are what come to mind)

most cultures don't refrigerate eggs.

Yes, getting teens into reading garbage YA novels and plebian newyork bestseller books. If you like crap like John Green you will never like any worthwhile literature. His books are simply written to get a profit from teenage girls from tumblr.

Pretty much this desu. The problem with John Green books is that the vast majority of his audience will never graduate to reading actual literature. They will continue to read drivel like this while thinking what they're reading is deep and profound. At least shit like Harry Potter is just pure entertainment with no pretense of being deep. But people read John Green tier books and think it makes them some kind of an intellectual.

Egg foo young, egg drop soup, fried rice, quiche, deviled eggs...

>Reads like some dumb pontificating kid who felt like he finally had an original thought

>Oh wait it's y.a. with no pretense of being literature

of course it's written like that. I'm sure john green could have guessed why eggs are traditionally eaten in the morning. Yet pseuds like this
will always get triggered by greenposting

Wow, I knew this guy was a hack, but this just demonstrates an unforgivable lack of critical thinking and general awareness.

Says the man posting waifus.

go to bed john, your books are warm shit

>post idolshit
>thinks he's better than teenage girls

Now this I like source?

>We all feel a certain something when we see a raw chicken breast, yes, but it's not a good idea to eat it.

I've never heard of that before
I've never felt like eating raw chicken breast. Is this common?
Is this passage real?

It's written from the perspective of some young teen

Based on the response in this thread green did a good job.

>mfw green is actually a great writer

This

I honestly don't get why this board is so buttblasted about Green.