John Green Dialogue

This is real....?

Can anyone prove it?

Its real

/co/ here, are you sure this isn't Bendis?

Why does Veeky Forums like to bully him so much but pretty much ignores every other young adult writer out there?

John Green threads have taught me a lot about myself and how bullying is a dark part of human nature.

Just looking at his face fills me with violence and cruelty. I've never bullied anyone before, but he makes me want to ball up my hands and just beat him until he shrieks like a woman and pisses himself. Every one of these shitty fucking threads pushes me closer towards becoming like my great grandfather, who would get drunk on moonshine and chase my grandmother and her siblings with a hatchet.

Veeky Forums has made me hate this man almost to the point of eroticism.

he reminds us of ourselves.

you see solipsism is childish in every way but one. You are truly woke when you realize all hate is self hate.

He stands out the most.

Speak for yourself.

i write like john green on my best days

So you write poorly

>I've never bullied anyone before, but he makes me want to ball up my hands and just beat him until he shrieks like a woman and pisses himself

What the fuck, I was sure that I'm the only one. Sometimes I get the same desires as you. Sometimes I even think about raping him. Afterwards I would rub his nose in the puddle of his piss as if he's nothing but a bad dog, and leave him sobbing.

t. sociopath descendant of inbred drunkards

If you have everseen a teenage girl post on social media trying to sound deep? Think of whole novels dedicated to that 'style'.

Jesus thats fucking gay

Holy fuck those last lines

>Not fuck, like in those movies
Are these characters 11? Only 11 year olds think like this. If they are, why's this pedo cunt writing about 11 year olds having sex?

I was going to comment on the movie simile and you beat me to it and you comment came with an image and now I have nothing to say about that and fascinating and I will use serial comma

wait til someone inevitably posts the blowjob scene.

Bendis?

Mein Gött. Post the cover.

>just like that. From a hundred miles an hour to standing with his thumbs in his belt loops in a nanosecond. I wanted so badly to take my friends with me on his airplane, to put my hand on his shoulder and ask if he felt in charge. Not talk, like Dr. Pavel had. Not even get hotheaded. Just get captured, in the most painful sense of the plan. But I lacked the next step and he had a flight plan and I was a big guy and he had a lotta loyalty and I was hopelessly masked and he was pretending to shoot people before throwing them out of planes. So I let the plane be crashed and left one of us to be found, as expected, thinking that if the fire was rising, we had started it.

This is so awful, holy shit

This desu senpaitachi

He is the Rupi Kaur of white men.

was expecting this already Veeky Forums hates heteo-cis-male/male/attractive/talented/fit/ succesful/ that are not hateful coz they can't relate with them.

Writer like Dostoyevsky?

holy shit saved

Well better than Dostoyevsky, but yeah.

Better? Like something that is more good than something else?

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Underrated post, user

Novel idea, puttering execution

metal gear?

>hate this man almost to the point of eroticism
ONE OF US ONE OF US

youtube.com/watch?v=QAkW_i0bDpQ

Don't worry, user. Just watch the beginning of this video! I'm sure it'll make you feel better in no time!

people rip on john green for being a poor writer when in reality john green does his job perfectly. he writes teen books, from the perspective of teens, written like a teen. it's all prepared exactly as you'd expect for a book a teen would want to read (mostly girls). the real question is SHOULD a teen only read from that perspective? should they only want to read fictional stories that relate to their life and not something they have no exposure to? the problem is that there's nothing to learn from the books besides like, a few pretty straight forward pieces of wisdom. it's like all those PG-13 high school movies, it's all entertainment and not much else

read this in the voice of Paulie

I liked the Fault in our Stars. Nothing earth-shattering but I had fun reading it.

This shit is to smart for me.

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Never read anything this guy has written, just know him as the guy that likes his breakfast to have 48 dicks dipped in it before he eats it, but made me laugh nonetheless.

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It would be less creepy for a boy to grope you in your sleep than to have a boy think of the thoughts on this page.

John Green is truly to literature what drizzles are to hurricanes.

>John Green
>attractive/talented/fit/

>hetero/cis/successful

How much soy does this guy eat?

There has never been a more underrated post.

Ebin, truly ebin.

That deserves a (You)

I can already sense the self hate just by reading the last sentence.

What the fuck is wrong with his books.

Made my day

This is better prose than anything John Green has ever wrote.

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Honestly, I dont even have it in me to reply to this, just read that page and what you wrote back and forth three times, and really, REALLY think about it.

Do girls actually have these conversations in real life or does it only happen on tumblr?

>girls
>conversation
Wrong place to ask this, buddy

maybe you should walk back to your room and think about the rain while your at it.

I have actually spent lots of time with gender-varied groups of friends, and I got to tell you that some girls communicate like monkeys. It's not as cliche and UH OH WORDPLAY XDD as dialogue written by Green. It's often almost primitive, with very limited vocabulary, clunky neologisms and some digusting girl-only slang. They love cliches and redundant expression, they mess their syntax up, they compress meaning awkwardly. Not to mention their use of punctuation and such when they actually decide to write it down. when I was younger I read some group chats of my girlfriend, and her friends would use double or tripe vowels mid-word, unironically, for no apparent reason, sentence to sentence

A casual chat to you loses a lot of it's meaning because you don't know the way they speak to each other. You could be reading satire and not even know it because you don't know their relationship.

I don't think 17-18 year olds can into satire, maybe into mimicking their friends at best, or into some very mild irony.

Satire is honestly the default these days, m8. The majority of humour is basically "imagine if I was like this", and people are always half pretending to be half someone else nearly all the time..
That's why greens dialogues are so fucking fake. It's too sincere and straightforward, which just does not exist.

The Dark Knight Rises, directed by Quentin Tarantino

CIA and Smee stand outside a plane, waiting

CIA: "You ever wonder why a foot fetish isn't socially acceptable?"

Smee: "What?"

CIA: "Foot fetishes. Why aren't they acceptable? People talk about wanting to fuck tits, asses, pussies, but the second you mention you want to nut on a girl's toes, people look like you just raped a fucking dog."

Smee: "What are you talking about man?"

CIA: "You never put any thought into this?"

Smee: "I'm just here to do a job man"

CIA: "Never be that guy. Never just show up to do a job. That's fucking lazy. It's fucking intellectually dishonest. Put some thought into this shit"

Smee: "Money is money, I don't think about it"

CIA: "So I tell you to bend over and let Maimen fuck your ass for some money, you don't think about it?"

Smee: "Man, what? Fuck off"

CIA: "Oh, finally, here comes that fucker Pavel. Late as usual"

I do agree that "satire" (in the loose sense) is pretty much default these days, among teenagers too, but I've read a lot of sincere conversations between girls and their weird chatting habits are not in relation with that. You can't maintain a satirical tone with 100% uptime, and yet some girls talk/write in a clunky, unreasonable way all the time.

Is John Green actually an above average in intelligence 15 year old in a grown man's body?

There was also some John Green gay erotica posted in a thread long ago which contained some excellent prose. I remember saving it but I can't find it now.

This is actually more true than you might think. I don't know how much thought he put into that last metaphor, but hurricanes have little to do with water if understood correctly. Etymologically, it's a Carib word used to denote 'violent wind-storms of the West Indies', i.e. a cyclone, which in turn only denotes the cyclic movement of the wind, not water of any kind. This is has the hint of cliche about it because Green's really just saying that she's 'out of this world', a completely different species or something like that, but it is true that hurricanes put water into motion, and few authors get Veeky Forums moving like John Green.

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Forgot to add: I still hate the metaphor. It wouldn't matter if he were a drizzle or a raging torrent of water, or if he were drizzle and other people were some other kind of rain, because he/they would still be moving at whatever speed the hurricane was -- and the two would still be two largely unrelated phenomena.

as far as I'm concerned, you are in charge.

Fuck yeah dude

>hetero
>cis

Not realizing that Alaska represents his feminine desire to escape his dweeby masculine farce.

Veeky Forums only hates Jane because she's a successful female writer

You forgot the part where the cock is massive because the character is Green's own self-insert

That was my point, he's none of those six things

Do you all have a rebuttal for this. Obviously you're not cucks and he's a cuck but what's your actual logical deconstruction of what he's saying?

False equivalency. Eating different kinds of cereal is very different from having sex with different people. Most of the time you won't catch a communicable disease from eating cereal. You will never get pregnant, or get someone else pregnant, from eating cereal. You do not have to be a certain age to eat cereal, by law.

Replace "had sex with 49 guys" with "murdered 49 guys" and the argument is no more or less valid.

People looking for a mate are looking for certain types of behaviour in that mate. John Green seems to be trying to argue that someone's past should not be used as an indicator towards their potential behaviour which of course is retarded.

Amazing post

this guy has the most punchable face. it's the fact that shit like him gets popular while actual literature is left on the shelf is part of why I despise humanity nowadays

But hurracanes aren't a type of rain?

Yes, Brian Michael Bendis, the writer

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