I'm going to work at a bookstore but I'm a non-reading Neanderthal, name the top 5 most important books to have read

5 books hahahaha
5 books
5
FIVE
hahahaha

HERE ARE SOME BOOKS YOU OUGHT TO READ:

The Odyssey
The King James Bible
Complete Shakespeare
Brothers Karamazov
War And Peace
Don Quixote
Moby Dick
Thus Spake Zarathustra
Huckleberry Finn
Catch-22

Many others but you can find your own lists

However, if you just want to impress people, try reading more "alternative", modern stuff. People will assume you have read all the classics anyway, if you have enough swagger.

EXAMPLES OF TRENDY MODERN "IMPRESSIVE" BOOKS:

Antifragile
Infinite Jest
Gravity's Rainbow (this is too much of a cliché, if you're seen in public with this everyone will just assume - correctly - that you are trying to impress. Use The Crying Of Lot 49 instead)

etc,etc,etc

PRO-TIP: always talk about "RE-READING" a book, not "reading" it. That way, people will assume you read Bloom's entire Western Canon by the age of 15 and will offer to bear your children.

Following on from this:-

a really neat trick is to read a less-well-known book by a famous author.

This is the same idea as not liking a band's most famous hit.

e.g.

"SURE, STAIRWAY TO HEAVEN IS OK, BUT HONESTLY, I ALWAYS PREFERRED THEIR WORK ON THE SONG REMAINS THE SAME"

This is vomit-inducingly pretentious but it is a guaranteed winner.

SOME EXAMPLES:-

Joseph Heller:-
DON'T BE SEEN READING -----> Catch 22
INSTEAD, BE SEEN READING ----> Something Happened

James Joyce
DON'T BE SEEN READING ----> Ulysses, Finnegan's Wake
INSTEAD, BE SEEN READING ----> Dubliners

William Shakespeare
DON'T BE SEE READING ----> Hamlet
INSTEAD, BE SEEN READING ----> Measure for Measure

F.Scott Fitzgerald
DON'T BE SEEN READING ---> The Great Gatsby
INSTEAD, BE SEEN READING ----> Tender Is The Night

etc
etc

You get the idea.

How are you gonna read the book ''how to read a book'' if you don't know how to read a book before you read that book?

obviously, "how to read a book" is a prerequisite to itself, a true patrician reads "how to read a book" before reading the book.

...

>Grapes of Wrath
I enjoyed it.
>How to Read a Book
Autistically thorough, but if you actually manage to power through it you'll probably derive some value.
>1984
A great book to start with in the world of proper literature.
>Memes
Probably not going to be that funny after a few hours.

-Homerica
-Summa Theologica
-Phenomenology of Spirit
-The Golden Bough
-In Search of Lost Time

...

Why is your copy of Dubliners so thicc, mine is only 211 pages

thats nonsense. you dont have to know anything to work on a bookstore. enjoy while this position is not replaced by robots, and also try reading something you like. Try diet or work out manuals.
youtu.be/cLVCGEmkJs0?t=28

for normalfags? dude Pride and Prejudice, Frankenstein, Great Gatsby, Catcher in the Rye, War and Peace. those are pretty much the most Lit books most normalfags have ever looked at. You will very occasionally get people who’ve read Joyce, Kafka, Nabokov but despite how pedestrian they are here 90% of “readers” have never touched one of their books

Instead of trying to read random books for a job in retail, why not use your inexperience as a way to create conversation and keep people in the store. If customers seem receptive to talking with you, ask them what books they like and why they liked them.

Best case scenario, you are aware of a book that just came in and can suggest it. Worst case scenario, you get a recommendation, and can offer to tell them what you thought the next time they're in.

You should probably also be a customer at the bookstore that hired you. Some major title comes in, buy it and try reading it.

Agreed, if you applied to a retail brick-and-mortar bookstore, but you don't read and can't handle human interaction, there are robots more useful than you.

You should just make up book names so everyone will think you know some obscure shit they’ve never heard of.

This but unironically

Read these five and you will have the framework for many books in your future:

Oh the Places Youll Go
Wayside School Gets a Little Stranger
Holes
The Odyssey
Brothers Karamazov

Thank me Later.