What's holding you back?

Harmless_Venom
Harmless_Venom

What's holding you back?

What in your opinion is the biggest thing preventing you from reaching your goals?

For me it's the constant feeling that everything I do will never amount to anything, so I have zero motivation by default in everything I do.

Whenever I have some reason to do something (even if extremely tedious and mind-numbing), I'll just be happy and do it like there's nothing in the world I want to do more.
Even if it's just something stupid to make my friends laugh or if a close person asked me a favor.
Unfortunately I've never experienced getting money out of my efforts, and everything I try ends up failing (partially because of this mindset. It's like a feedback loop), so everything seems pointless and takes away all my motivation.

Does anybody have any advice for this?

Thanks in advance.

All urls found in this thread:
https://raouldify.files.wordpress.com/2011/12/2011_1203-the-flinch.pdf
http://www.what-is-coaching.com/support-files/lazymansway2riches.pdf
https://mega.nz/#F!1R0QATqZ!Eb1_M5KC9gkxK6w32R2ETw
https://www.ucl.ac.uk/personal-development-workshops/mindfworkshop_resources/Mindfulness_in_plain_english
http://lifehacker.com/281626/jerry-seinfelds-productivity-secret),
http://www47.zippyshare.com/v/vcvU77Ir/file.html
http://lifehacker.com/281626/jerry-seinfelds-productivity-secret
idontknow
idontknow

Get an accountability buddy. Every time you don't meet your goal, you have to pay him/her an outlandish amount. And vice versa.

Skullbone
Skullbone

@idontknow
I have basically no money whatsoever, and I can't think of any other penalty.

Besides, this doesn't solve the problem. I would still have no motivation to do anything and would be forced to just do the "apparently pointless" work while not wanting to do it.

DeathDog
DeathDog

@Skullbone
OK. How about this: make a concrete goals list for the week, month, year, and five years from now and email it to yourself. Then give me your personal information so that I can Fight Club you into achieving each of those dreams. If you miss multiple deadlines i can just commit you to suicide watch with the rest of the DAO kids.

ZeroReborn
ZeroReborn

@Harmless_Venom
I fear failure. why waste time even trying if I will fail?

No idea how to get over this.

Supergrass
Supergrass

@DeathDog
Kek thanks for the suggestion, but my problem is my mindset.

I've tried a number of different things to force myself to do the work, but end up cheating or straight up ignoring them (because in my mind, I might as well waste time with entertainment, rather than wasting it with useless and pointless work).

Stark_Naked
Stark_Naked

@Harmless_Venom

Here you go OP, I'll spoon feed it to you.

1.) Go to an MD and describe what you just typed. They will want you to start you on an SSRI, ask for wellbutrin instead. You will notice a small difference within 2 weeks, about 3 months for full effect.

2.) 45 minutes of vigorous exercise at least every other day. You can do bodyweight exercises and calisthenics if you are poor. It will suck massive dick at first, and take about 3 months of doing it for you to start liking it and feeling the extra energy/focus. Write that fact down on a notecard and read it to yourself every time you feel like quiting.

3.) Decision paralysis will ruin you. Force yourself to just do things. Everything is daunting at first. Mastery only comes with thousands of hours of practice.

4.) You have to do something. Playing video games and watching TV is the equivalent of sleeping, complete useless stagnation. Even working part time at a gas station would teach you more valuable life lessons that being a NEET.

Sir_Gallonhead
Sir_Gallonhead

@Supergrass
I kinda feel you there. I don't like failure either. I write for a living (lol) and I fail pretty frequently but I write enough to where the other successful and purchased articles get my by. I'm motivated because I quit my job and moved out so if i DON'T fucking work I don't have electricity. Shit, if I had more in my savings and had a shit ton of failures in the beginning, I'd probably have given up, dated a fat girl that would pay for everything, and just play Persona 4 all day.
... But successes kinda push me to work more. I dunno man. Good luck. Maybe if you were in a do or die scenario that forced you to pick up diligence rather than motivation, you'd be better off. Cheers

Evil_kitten
Evil_kitten

@Stark_Naked
Thank you for your response user, but except for the first one, I've already tried everything on that list. Doesn't work as ling as I'm convinced that what I'm doing is wasted time.

Inmate
Inmate

@Sir_Gallonhead
Good for you man. All the best!

My problem isn't that I'm afraid of failure. Is that I "know" I'll fail the moment I start.
Whenever I get to have some motivation to do something, I don't care if I fail or not. I just do it and hope for the best, but unless I have a reason to think it's not useless, then I see it as a waste of time by default.

Methnerd
Methnerd

@Evil_kitten

If you are doing something, it's not a waste of time. Inaction is your only waste of time.

Work at a gas station
marketing to poor people 101
Work retail
saint like patience, sales skills
Bank teller
personal finance 101
Pet store
animal care, people pay premiums for good care of their pets
Construction worker
hands on building skills, handyman skills
Bartender
social psychology, sales

You literally just have to do something. The more you do the faster you will get the results you seek. Experience and exposure to new perspective/things is what you desperately need. Also, you have depression.

Nojokur
Nojokur

@Methnerd

I thought about finding some job, but I don't think I'll be able to do anything to be honest.

I'm a high school dropout (forced to leave school by health issues), so I'll only be able to find manual work, which I can't do because I have some weird asthenia which make me tired all the time, and cholinergic urticaria, which basically makes me allergic to heat (everything that heats my body, like physical fatigue, nervousness, room temperature, etc. becomes impossible to do).
I can basically only work at home (or in an office, which will never happen because of my lack of education).

You're spot on about the need to experience things, as I haven't been out of my house in 7 years because of the above-mentioned health issues, and obviously about depression.

Having tried everything to make myself work, I think that this lack of motivation is the biggest roadblock between me being a NEET for life, and doing something with myself.

Spazyfool
Spazyfool

@ZeroReborn
Read thinkertoys

Booteefool
Booteefool

@Methnerd
Also I noticed that my productivity and willingness to work is directly proportional to how carefree I am (the more I have things on my mind, and the more I'm anxious/depressed, the more everythign seems pointless), so you're probably right about depression being a major cause.

But I need to find a way to do it without getting rid of the depression (as it's basically impossible at this point), so I think my focus should be spent on doing something other than try and be less depressed.

MPmaster
MPmaster

@Spazyfool
A Handbook of Creative-Thinking Techniques?

why?

kizzmybutt
kizzmybutt

My imagination is too vivid. Instead of doing all the things I want to accomplish, I just imagine myself in a position where those things actually got done. No joke, I would spend about an hour or two at a time just laying in my bed imagining myself as a millionaire.

Then when I work up the nerve to actually pursue that vision I become overwhelmed by how much I don't know and give up.

Inmate
Inmate

@Harmless_Venom
Right now, points on my driving license. Gotta wait for them to expire before following career goals.
Shorter term, I need to figure out HOW to get what I want, and where to get it that won't take my money and run.

I can afford to wait a while; I'm making decent money where I am, I've got a load of benefits, and it's pretty cushy.

Methshot
Methshot

@Harmless_Venom
https://raouldify.files.wordpress.com/2011/12/2011_1203-the-flinch.pdf

This here changed my life, and i'm not even kidding

I used to be like you, and i feared failure more than anything, and thus never tried. If you feel like it, give it a read.

TurtleCat
TurtleCat

@Methshot
Will do, thanks user.

AwesomeTucker
AwesomeTucker

@Methshot
boring as fuck, made me cringe.

girlDog
girlDog

Me. I used to dream of traveling, random hookups, living close to the beach, enjoying my youth with friends and family, fast cars, entrepreneurship etc. Now I realise i don't need much to be happy - mostly food, shelter and science for distraction. Happiness comes from within :> also im rich af

CouchChiller
CouchChiller

Bump

WebTool
WebTool

What's hiding me back is finding a direction that I'm excited about.

I've already made a decent amount of money so that's already not interesting anymore. Not interested in starting a biz, too much work.

But just sitting around sucks, so I'm going back to work.

CodeBuns
CodeBuns

@Harmless_Venom

Just need to get a higher savings rate at this point. If I can break the 30% savings rate mark, I'll be good.

Nude_Bikergirl
Nude_Bikergirl

Severe social anxiety and associated depression. Before the depression really hit hard, I made some web service, it has been enough to provide me an income for the last 5+ years despite barely touching it. But since that I haven't been able to motivate myself to create anything more or even improve the existing thing. Despite having several good ideas.

100% confident I would have been rich with several passive incomes by now otherwise.

Firespawn
Firespawn

@kizzmybutt
Basically me. Except I've got all the materials ready to learn/study just not enough will power.

Ignoramus
Ignoramus

Bumping

cum2soon
cum2soon

@Harmless_Venom
Educate yourself.

iluvmen
iluvmen

@cum2soon
Thanks, I appreciate it.

Is there anything you suggest I should start with, considering my problem?

Playboyize
Playboyize

@iluvmen
http://www.what-is-coaching.com/support-files/lazymansway2riches.pdf

Sharpcharm
Sharpcharm

@Playboyize
Thank you, I'll definitely check it out.

BlogWobbles
BlogWobbles

@cum2soon
Just found this in the archive:
https://mega.nz/#F!1R0QATqZ!Eb1_M5KC9gkxK6w32R2ETw

Don't know if it contains all of them, but it's surely going to be useful for some of us.

ZeroReborn
ZeroReborn

@ZeroReborn
I fear failure. why waste time even trying if I will fail?
No idea how to get over this.
This intention is admirable as far as it goes, but it fails to apprehend the deeper imperative of life. Life is action. Even choosing not to act, we act. We cannot do otherwise. Therefore act with vigor.

Life is decision making. Even choosing not to make a decision is making a decision. We cannot do otherwise. Therefore, make decisions purposefully and not by default.

@Supergrass
Kek thanks for the suggestion, but my problem is my mindset.
then the answer your looking for isnt going to be spoonfed to you on a message board
how could we possibly know what the solution to making you a less shitty person is when none of us ever have, or ever will know you

GoogleCat
GoogleCat

@ZeroReborn
then the answer your looking for isnt going to be spoonfed to you on a message board
how could we possibly know what the solution to making you a less shitty person is when none of us ever have, or ever will know you
I just thought someone might have some advice on feeling less hopelessness.
I knew my chances of finding it here aren't exactly 100%, but why not try?

Dreamworx
Dreamworx

I felt lost, then I made my first 10K with BTC and it's still rising.

Now I can I can make it turn 100k, then a million. Nobody can stop me now.

haveahappyday
haveahappyday

Fuck me jerry

hairygrape
hairygrape

Myself

VisualMaster
VisualMaster

Bumping from page 10

eGremlin
eGremlin

@Harmless_Venom
What in your opinion is the biggest thing preventing you from reaching your goals?
i was born to the wrong county and gf doesn't want to leave this shithole till her parents are alive

CodeBuns
CodeBuns

@eGremlin
you know what to do.

Crazy_Nice
Crazy_Nice

@CodeBuns
i'm not going to kill them if i wanted to hurt her i would just leave her.
this country is over i'm waiting for my chance to bounce collecting money for the road.

Sir_Gallonhead
Sir_Gallonhead

@Crazy_Nice
Yeah, I was just kidding bro.
Which country are you from?

Poker_Star
Poker_Star

@Firespawn

There's nothing to study or learn that will make you a millionare lol.

Gigastrength
Gigastrength

i just need a job where i know i wont have to think about moving for five years

Sharpcharm
Sharpcharm

Indecision mostly. I pissed away my early twenties just trying to survive. I didn't take high school seriously and as a result didn't graduate, which haunted me until recently where I've now managed to pseudo graduate. I could potentially take the easier route and attempt to pick up a trade, but I'm hesitant about which one to pick given that trades can be really hit or miss. I feel I'm to old to start hitting the books in post secondary, by the time I walked out of school with a degree of substance, I would be in my mid thirties assuming I some how managed to get in right at this moment, otherwise I'll probably be closer to forty.

I watch every day slowly scrape by and see another moment gone but I'm unable to act because I have next to no resources available to attempt anything.

The only option in front of me is if I'm unable to scrape together any kind of future, I have the option of moving to Europe with my parents when they retire. I will be stuck on an island, where I can't speak the language, I don't have any sort of education, and I will be competing with other lower class citizens for some same shitty jobs. I will become an economic migrant, and given everything that's happening right now, I can't on principle do that because I oppose it strongly myself, which means there's a very real chance I could end up homeless.

Sometimes it's hard to keep my head above water.

Emberburn
Emberburn

OP are you me?

Let me guess, you were never rewarded for anything you did, especially when you were a kid?

LuckyDusty
LuckyDusty

@Emberburn
Yeah.

StonedTime
StonedTime

@Sharpcharm
You got 3/4ths of your life ahead of you fool. Stop living in the past and go do what you want. "I feel too old", fuck off fgt youre not gramps.

BinaryMan
BinaryMan

@StonedTime
Thanks

PurpleCharger
PurpleCharger

@Sharpcharm
Tha main recret old people have on their deathbeds isn't about something they did, but about somethign they didn't do.
Inaction is often worse than doing the sub-optimal thing.

If you keep letting indecision prevent you from doing anything, you'll soon start to kill yourself with regret about all the things you could have done whan you still had the possibility.

Dreamworx
Dreamworx

@Harmless_Venom
I don't feel like there's any reward for doing a good job. Not just that, it's that the bigger a fuckup you are, the more you're protected. Doesn't matter what field either. I hate using most software because it's garbage. But try correcting so much as a spelling mistake on a modern dev team without kicking up a shitstorm. I also hate the guy at IDW who draws everything (robots, people, water, etc) like it's made out of cracked stone. Yet they turn down tons of submissions from better artists without even looking at them.

Fried_Sushi
Fried_Sushi

@PurpleCharger
without getting too schmulzy, this. pick something, anything, and just live. i never tried min-maxing my life, and im fine enough with it.

there is always something better you could have done, or studied, or invested, or whatever. no sense comparing yourself to the top.

VisualMaster
VisualMaster

Bump

lostmypassword
lostmypassword

My stutter and horrible dental hygiene from teenage years of playing WoW.

Bidwell
Bidwell

@Harmless_Venom
I think it's the drugs. I can't quit them, but when I do, I have so much more care and attention in my life. But I am a fool with money and responsibilities, and have squandered so much in the past I don't even want to look at what assets I have left.

Methshot
Methshot

@PurpleCharger
old people get dementia too and regret not doing things they forgot they did.

TalkBomber
TalkBomber

@Harmless_Venom
Indecision. It's impossible to try to help others while improving yourself and the more I talk to people, the less I want to help them. I decided I should help myself first before anyone because everyone is doing the opposite and being miserable for it

Lord_Tryzalot
Lord_Tryzalot

@GoogleCat
I just thought someone might have some advice on feeling less hopelessness.
Mindfulness meditation will get you halfway there. Meditate every day - without fail - for at least a month, then come back and make this thread again once your thought process isn't as warped by hopelessness.
https://www.ucl.ac.uk/personal-development-workshops/mindfworkshop_resources/Mindfulness_in_plain_english

t. guy who has been there

CouchChiller
CouchChiller

@Stark_Naked
@Fried_Sushi
T H I S
H
I
S

StrangeWizard
StrangeWizard

paranoia. i have always felt like people are watching me through windows in my house & had low grade hallucinations since I was a kid. got worse at 18 and stopped trusting my friends and family. schizo runs in the family but so does financial success. I have always performed well at whatever job I have until something weird happens and I'm pretty sure someone's going to kill me. anti-psychotics kill my motivation and make me feel dead tho. want to be a contributing member of society, i'm a good musician and salesman. & I don't use drugs.

Skullbone
Skullbone

Because I am a 10th Dan procrastinator. Feeling totally unmotivated by the end of a relationship. Not entirely sure what i want my next move in life to be, what i want to achieve next. Having trouble defining a goal that i can immerse myself in. And just generally drinking to much, smoking to much and wasting time on here and /b/.

Booteefool
Booteefool

@Harmless_Venom
@Harmless_Venom

Choices I made.

-I- Made. And I've become complacent in my comfortable arrangements.

I wanted a military career to build from, but that went to shit in the early 2000s and it snowballed from there.

Things are "OK" now. But they damn sure could've been better.

MPmaster
MPmaster

What's holding you back?
I live in a failed socialist state with the highest inflation rate in the world.

I make $1.5 a day through crowdsourcing so I can get out of this shithole a year from now

Other that killing myself, does anyone have any advice for me?

Evil_kitten
Evil_kitten

@Harmless_Venom
What's holding you back?
I am afraid of new things, I do not want to try to learn anything new or even attempt it because of the fear of change, my fear of change is what is holding me back and I have no idea how to get over it
maybe I should go to /adv/

Evil_kitten
Evil_kitten

@kizzmybutt
Bro that mind set is super toxic I experience the exact same but thankfully I'm a wage cuck and have little projects. The more you fantasize about something the more you talk about it the less you do it.
May allahu guide us into be self satisfied billionaires

lostmypassword
lostmypassword

@Evil_kitten
Daily reminder that Mohammed was a pedophile rapist

Supergrass
Supergrass

@Emberburn
Me neither what the fuck does that have to do with anything and don't bring any pseudo science shit please

hairygrape
hairygrape

@Methshot
this is pretty good, halfway through.

RumChicken
RumChicken

@lostmypassword
implying I'm filthy mudslime just for using a meme
Never imply you basterd that's what keeps off success because you imply something you don't even fucking know "if I do this surely this will happen oh no I better keep neeting and whining on a Cantonese cartoon board"
Fucking basterd may Krishna clarify our autistic minds.

hairygrape
hairygrape

@Lord_Tryzalot
Alright, I'll try. Thank you very much for the suggestion.
Just a question:
With this mindfulness meditation, does the hopelessness go away even if it's caused by actual things that give you hopelessness on a rational level?

Skullbone
Skullbone

@hairygrape
Yes. I wouldn't be recommending it otherwise.
However, you will accomplish this in a roundabout way. If you focus on getting rid of this feeling of hopelessness, you'll just spin your wheels. Instead the trick is to come to terms with your current state, to accept yourself as you are - warts and all. Once you've learned to do this, you'll understand that moping is a waste of time, and you'll feel driven to improve no matter what stands in your way. You'll learn to savour challenges and see them as opportunities rather than bugbears.

Lunatick
Lunatick

@MPmaster
Find a country who will accept your economic refugee ass and start walking. Even beggars in America make 100's a month, buy a tent, get a gym membership, and sit outside a home depot and take every menial labor job you come across and you'll be able to put money down on an apartment, bring your sweet venezuelen wife with you to clean apts for 60$ and have her do 3 apts per day. you'll be gorrillionaires in no time.

Soft_member
Soft_member

@Skullbone
Alright, thank you very much user.
I have the impression that this (out of the tens of other things I tried) could actually have a significant effect on me.

Also, I happen to have a few courses on Mindfulness in my Udemy account, maybe I'll watch a few after your book.

SniperGod
SniperGod

On a semi-related note, today I decided to retry the Seinfeld technique (http://lifehacker.com/281626/jerry-seinfelds-productivity-secret), and made a few calendars with timeanddate.com and edited them a bit.

If you want them, here they are:
http://www47.zippyshare.com/v/vcvU77Ir/file.html

In the folder I've included the files I've used and some basic instructions, in case you wanted to make

BunnyJinx
BunnyJinx

@Supergrass
You're the only one in charge of your mindset, faggot. Stop making excuses.

But, I think the book "Gorilla Mindset" by Mike Cernovich is a pretty good book. I think you can actually find it for free if you google it, but I got it the old fashioned way.

Emberfire
Emberfire

Crippling ADHD professionally diagnosed through extensive neuropsychological testing, once as a child, once as an adult, that has gone unmedicated because doctors in my city have a strong anti-stimulant culture

But I've started developing ways around it and channeling it. My teens and early 20s would've been much much easier if I had been properly medicated and did CBT

StonedTime
StonedTime

Disappointing other people. Got an interview for a job that requires 5+ years experience. Guy took a chance and gave me the job, now im 7 months in and not sure when to back away without feeling like a dick. Also my posts since they take a good chunk of my check, which prevents me from moving out

Firespawn
Firespawn

@Harmless_Venom
my often inability to pee when others are in close proximity to me in the bathroom.

GoogleCat
GoogleCat

@SniperGod
http://lifehacker.com/281626/jerry-seinfelds-productivity-secret

This might work.

Firespawn
Firespawn

@MPmaster
Where are you from amino?

I would hire you to do website work if I could get you the photos

CodeBuns
CodeBuns

@kizzmybutt
Are you me.

Dreamworx
Dreamworx

Complacency.

I have trouble feeling the hunger when I'm doing well. It seems what motivates me is comfort more than excellence.

Lunatick
Lunatick

@Harmless_Venom
Mostly constant shitposting.

Carnalpleasure
Carnalpleasure

@BunnyJinx
Thanks I'll check it out.

TechHater
TechHater

Bump

askme
askme

@Harmless_Venom

Veeky Forums is too kind, just get off your fat ass.

BlogWobbles
BlogWobbles

@Harmless_Venom
The only thing right now is that Im really shit at sales, but I am working on it.
Managing and pushing my own product has been really freeing compared to wage slave work.

DeathDog
DeathDog

@ZeroReborn
Force yourself to fail. Set a goal to fail in a creative way and make yourself fail. Soon youll get over the fear.

Evilember
Evilember

@askme
I do. A lot actually.
I just lose motivation after a bit, and everything becomes pointless in my eyes.

Skullbone
Skullbone

Bumping

Emberburn
Emberburn

@Harmless_Venom
My business partner is a natural born cokehead that compulsively creates 60 new business ideas/plans, promises everything to everyone and ends up disappointing everyone because he never does anything on time and has to abandon every other project.

PackManBrainlure
PackManBrainlure

Procrastination.
And not knowing where to start.
Mostly procrastination.

Skullbone
Skullbone

@Poker_Star
There's no knowledge that can help you
Knowledge is pointless
What is wisdom

Fuzzy_Logic
Fuzzy_Logic

@PackManBrainlure
Try this: @SniperGod

Sir_Gallonhead
Sir_Gallonhead

Bumping

5mileys
5mileys

I don't really know what I want out of life. My mind mainly wanders to film maker but I can barely motivate my self to read/study films. I've always struggled with ambition and drive, maybe I'm just one of those people who drifts and is never successful.

I guess i've been stuck in a rut for so long i've become completely comfortable with wasting my life, thinking about suicide is easier than thinking about my future, especially considering the amount of work it would entail to just "catch up"

Harmless_Venom
Harmless_Venom

I have an idea but I will need to have a prototype designed and my consultation with a prototyping firm said the costs (of designing, making, patenting, etc) will be roughly my entire savings at this point (could even be more).

If I fail then I will have nothing left. So i do nothing but save hoping no other company comes in and scoops up this idea/patent (it's in the virtual reality industry)

w8t4u
w8t4u

@Harmless_Venom
holding you back
I came here to laugh, not so I could look at PUSSIES

ZeroReborn
ZeroReborn

I did a useless fucking degree in German and I have no idea what to do with my life

I'm too impractical for a trade and too autistic for sales

Oh and my country just left the fucking EU so it's helium tank time tbqh

haveahappyday
haveahappyday

@Harmless_Venom
I've got fucking 0 work ethic. Working on fixing that, but as you could expect, it's taking a while.

Harmless_Venom
Harmless_Venom

Crippling immunology issues. (Crohns Disease)

Can't do much physical or mental work because of chronic fatigue.
Nope, stimulants do nothing.

I literally need a get rich quick scheme to go anywhere.

LuckyDusty
LuckyDusty

/r9k/

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