Looking for new job

Nude_Bikergirl
Nude_Bikergirl

looking for new job
every company has a shit careers page
job listings are just a string of buzzwords with no real meaning or substance
try to speak/meet with people in HR to discuss open positions and learn more about organization
their only response is to refer me to the careers webpage

REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Why do online applications exist and why are careers pages universally terrible?

Crazy_Nice
Crazy_Nice

Try r9k.

Booteefool
Booteefool

be me 19
go to trade school
finish in 9 months
apply for tech positions after
literally every place I applied to called

22 now at a comfy $23/hr

Sir_Gallonhead
Sir_Gallonhead

@Nude_Bikergirl

Because they already know who they want to hire. They just have to make it look like they are giving everyone a chance.

Soft_member
Soft_member

Everything is terrible you transgendered faggot. How nigrish are you to be just figuring it out?

viagrandad
viagrandad

@Sir_Gallonhead
This, OP.
Where I live you won't get hired unless you're best buddies with someone who's working there and has some higher ranking position. It's basically a dick sucking contest. Unless of course you're really good at what you do, they won't pass that chance, but that skill level often requires autism, which shouldn't be a problem for you as I see it.

happy_sad
happy_sad

@Crazy_Nice
Stop forcing your cancerous meme

5mileys
5mileys

@Booteefool
Wat trade

takes2long
takes2long

Sounds cool.
be me 19
sitting in front of computer
NEET
Finished high school a month ago. In September I start university, but no one wanted me to work for them during those 2 months.

Inmate
Inmate

@takes2long
19
Finished school a month ago
Fucking hell, WOW

kizzmybutt
kizzmybutt

I'm in the same boat brotherman.

I have been applying for anything that sounds close to what I want to do. Even if the job requirements list is full of random software packages and work processes I have never heard of. Even if the job description is industry lingo.

I recently got an interview for one of these barely understood positions. I was totally up front while talking to the hiring manager that I was 75% sure what the job even was. They didn't throw me out. He realized I wasn't a dipshit, but a guy who is willing to find his way. I went on to get a full facilities tour. I talked to a half dozen people of various levels of seniority. I was there for like two and a half hours. And, after not hearing anything for a week, I got a call from a manager in another division who wants me to come back and talk to him about a position.

Don't do what I was doing, which was being overly cautious and treating every application like a tax document. Just spam them. Look for any position that sounds remotely interesting, or a company that you want to work for. The worst that could happen is HR just ignores your resume.

Poker_Star
Poker_Star

@Inmate
That's educational system in Latvia. I was born in January, so yeah. Some people finish school at 18.

Also my post was supposed to be reply to @Booteefool

Sharpcharm
Sharpcharm

if you are looking for an entry level job
Networking > throwing in applications

viagrandad
viagrandad

OP here. I just sold my company, so I'm looking for a new position. As I was a kind of jack-of-all trades (owner, salesman, office manager, plant manager, etc), it is really hard to pin down what kind of job I should go for. There are tons of listings, but few are anything more than buzzwords. I just want to speak to somebody in HR to get a clearer picture of where I would fit into the companies, learn about the work environment, and do some networking. It seems like the only response I get from HR , regardless of the question, is "look at the website".

Evil_kitten
Evil_kitten

Just spoke with another company recruiter. Asked him if it would be possible to have a quick discussion with him regarding open positions and where I might best fit in the organization.

He essentially just told me that speaking to people takes too much time and to just look at the listings on the careers page.

If you are the head recruiter at a company, surely it is your job (or somebody in your departments job) to engage with those who express an interest in working for the organization, right? I mean, if you are just going to wait for people to fill out online applications and not engage with anyone, what the fuck is the point of having a recruitment department?

Evilember
Evilember

@Evil_kitten
they want you to do their job for them

eGremlin
eGremlin

@Evil_kitten
Unfortunately, all of the pressure is on you. It's a buyer's market. You are begging for a job. They aren't begging for hires.

This changes through the decades but that's the way it is for now. You have to have all the degrees, and certifications, and proficiencies in software, and prior experience. They aren't going to give you jack shit. Even job training is too much to ask.

Yes, it's fucked. Yes, they do this while simultaneously wondering why 'those darn Millennials' have no trust or loyalty towards the organizations they work for. Yes, it's creating a world where everyone is a mercenary trying to 'get theirs.' But that's the way it is.

Lunatick
Lunatick

@Nude_Bikergirl
They don't want you to know what the position truly is, because if you did, you wouldn't be applying. Face it, the dream job doesn't exist on that careers page. It exists in the "hidden" job market i.e. Internal referrals at a great company, or through networking with people at other companies.

King_Martha
King_Martha

@viagrandad

Open a new company, compete with your old company. Be unethical.
Profit.

Most people these days just pretend to offer value. Like the hr personnel you talked to.

Spamalot
Spamalot

@Nude_Bikergirl
try r9k retard

girlDog
girlDog

@eGremlin

I'm not even asking for any training or anything. All I want is to speak with somebody who can give me a little info about which of several positions I'm interested in would be the best or at least which department would be a match with my current skills and experience. I'd also like to get an idea of what it is like to work for the company. To me, this seems like a basic part of recruiting. I mean, companies are complaining all the time about how millennials have no drive/people skills, so you'd think that actively going out and expressing an interest in engaging with them would be seen as a positive, right?

Harmless_Venom
Harmless_Venom

@girlDog

Stop listening to what companies are complaining about. Seriously.

It is like women complaining about not being able to find the right man. Bullshit excuses.

I mean for gods sake they have career fairs only to tell the applicants to go online.

takes2long
takes2long

upload your resume
Afterwards have to manually put in your work history

What the fuck why is this allowed reeeee just fucking read my resume you fucking joke of a job hr person

hairygrape
hairygrape

@Poker_Star
bračka

Dreamworx
Dreamworx

@Harmless_Venom

they have career fairs only to tell the applicants to go online.

This. Most HR and recruiting people are jokes.

All they want to do is have a computer pick a few resumes that contain whichever buzzword is hot right now and then have those people fill out round after round of bullshit computerized surveys until only one is left. Actively engaging with and bringing in talented individuals is something that they no longer do.

haveahappyday
haveahappyday

@takes2long
This right here is infinite suffering. It makes spamming applications obnoxious and time consuming.

Snarelure
Snarelure

@Nude_Bikergirl
Anonymous (ID: 51BSBde4) 07/13/16(Wed)13:11:26 No.137

Everyone in HR is a fucking retard and all the departments know it. You need to network or be able to talk to someone in the department you want to be in. Preferably the head. This is probably the person that will largely decide if you are getting the job. The dept head and other folks from that team will evaluate you and then send your shit to HR to confirm you haven't killed any hookers. Networking kinda blows if you're an autistic assbag like most of us, but you need to suck it up and get on LinkedIn, talk to people in your industry, give a fuck and start talking to some people.

CouchChiller
CouchChiller

@Nude_Bikergirl
Been in the same position now for two months looking for entry level position in real estate. System I have down so far is start by looking on linkedIn for jobs in your area/field, take the spam approach, write a dank fucking cover letter & resume, have friends in similar industries review it for you. You'll have to tweak your cover letter and resume for each job's specific description, save each one so you can bang out applications quicker. If it provides you with contact info for job poster, contact them, reach out to them, leverage any relationship you have that is connected to that company/hiring manager. LinkedIn helps with finding connections you have. Basically you need a connection to tell someone at the company to review your app, and then you have to be a good fit for the job.

AwesomeTucker
AwesomeTucker

So why do they have recruiters if those recruiters aren't out there actively out there looking for talent? If they just passively wait for people to fill out an online application, what is the point?

Booteefool
Booteefool

@Nude_Bikergirl

I'm a department manager.

I don't have much to add but I will say this:

1. don't waste time talking to hr.

they do not understand what you do or if the company needs you.
if they sent unsolicited applicants to department heads they'd be reprimanded for wasting people's time.

2. don't bother using career pages.

either network or post directly to job listings on linkedin/craigslist/etc. apply as quickly as possible, do not worry about whether or not you meet every criteria. try to sound genuinely enthusiastic about the subject matter. If you are the first or second applicant, chances are you'll get a call. If you're applying 3 or 4 days after the posting it's probably too late.

Sharpcharm
Sharpcharm

Try going in person. A lot of places still accept resumes in their offices. I don't know what jobs you're applying too, or what's your skill/educational level. Word of advice don't do sales. Most sales jobs are shit tier and the good sales job require an MBA. If you're American, you should enlist in the Navy for their cyberwarfare program.

DeathDog
DeathDog

This entire thread

And this is how I know nobody here have been working on a relevant management position on any company people give two shits about. Or half shit.

Any significant company who post their open positions will be overflown with CV from people who have no idea about the job, but will send their resume anyway, because they are enthusiastic, can learn fast and will do their best to give an exemplar performance. And then, we have the thousand persons who want to get their friend and relatives to work with them. Do you really think a manager will have the time to read or talk with every single retard knocking the door?

Been there, done that.

Yup, plenty of people who get hired through friends manage to do it because they have friends who work inside the company. BUT. and that's a big BUT, any manager worth their salt won't hire every random homie from down the street, they will pick based on who's the person giving the recommendation. That's because, usually, a worker will only propose to hire someone who have a similar profile. A hard working person won't suggest to bring aboard a lazy fat ass redneck, because he knows (or will learn) he have to work hard to cover his own quota and his friend as well, and when ShtF, the managers will ask "Again, why did you said this guy was a good worker?".

Just ask yourself: how many of you would walk into your boss office and ask them to hire a Veeky Forums user? That's assuming you have a job. Otherwise, you should know why nobody bothers calling you for a job offer.

And so, HR exists just to deal with the burden of the thousand retards who want a job on a big name company, but can't offer anything valuable. And there are also head hunters working on there, but if you can't grasp why HR serves a purpose, I assume talking about real head hunting will blown your tiny minds away.

BunnyJinx
BunnyJinx

@DeathDog

Tell me about the real headhunting user,

I want to dream of the day that someone comes looking for me for a job.

Soft_member
Soft_member

@Nude_Bikergirl

looking for job
pound the pavement and try to get a job that way
told to apply online or told they're not hiring
do so
get a few interviews and always rejected despite being decent
go to the places a few weeks afterwards and there's just a bunch of retards there that barely do the job
try to go through temp agency
they take my information and sell it and never help me get a job
try to get people I know to help but they don't really care and tell me to go to the temp agency

FUCK

VisualMaster
VisualMaster

@Soft_member

Yeah, most places now are bewildered when somebody tries to actually speak to anyone on the phone, much less in person. Everything is completely impersonal and done online now.

Illusionz
Illusionz

Live in such a shitty area that I have to travel at least an hour for a job worth a damn because all the local places are either garbage retail/fast food or family owned businesses who want nothing to do with you unless you personally know the owners child.

It doesn't help that when I do try to send messages over LinkedIn to connect, no one responds.

King_Martha
King_Martha

@Illusionz
Get a backup job, even a shitty one ? It's like fucking a fat girl, helps you raise your confidence a bit.

viagrandad
viagrandad

@Sharpcharm
networking
going to a sweaty meet up with other unemployed people looking for a person with a job.

Nojokur
Nojokur

@VisualMaster

I am honestly thinking about shooting myself because I am running out of options. I can't get a vehicle because I can't afford insurance (mandatory in my state to get a license which I don't have either because I get terrible motion sickness in vehicles), so I walk everywhere which I honestly don't mind but it's difficult to walk miles in the heat and still be presentable. I also have to rely on other people for rides if it's somewhere far or if they offer, and our public transportation here in my town is non-existent.

I've looked at online jobs. I've looked at Craigslist. I've done all the shitty retard job search sites that don't even send me an email saying no. The last interview I had was in January for fucking Sears and I didn't even get to do backroom stuff so apparently I am a retard which really irks me to no end because I seriously went there and there were just people standing around not doing anything at all and getting paid for it.

I've tried nepotism, and it just doesn't work for me because the people I know don't help me (although some legitimately can't so it's not like I'm mad at it). My friend said he'd get me a job but then left about a week after saying that so that was like slapping me in the face.

I would like to start my own business but I have $18 to my name and no one will loan me money even though I have zero debt. I've tried coding too, but I simply cannot wrap my head around it no matter how much I try.

I think I'm just going to make a milkshake and clean my rifle.

Booteefool
Booteefool

@Nojokur
Join the Army.

5mileys
5mileys

@Booteefool

I'm not signing my life away for so many years to a government.

Inmate
Inmate

@5mileys
Enjoy being poor.

Methshot
Methshot

@Nojokur
Seek professional advice. Many people have been in your situation before.

Burnblaze
Burnblaze

@Nude_Bikergirl
Quit job
Went on 18 month holiday
Return home
Visit (former) colleagues
Get offered a job on the spot
People start shifting positions and companies
Remain friends with them
Get offered jobs at other places via associates who now work there
Now I have 3 jobs, sometimes 4
Keep getting more job offers
My business card would need to be double-wide just to list all my titles and contact details

I feel fucking awful for people trying to get a break. I know for a fact that I am brilliant at what I do but I don't interview well and don't inspire confidence. I'm a man of few words, never brag, never lie, never boast. I get annoyed when I see useless people with jobs. I honestly think of people like OP who would give the job a fair go and hate the people who actually have the job.

Emberfire
Emberfire

Daily reminder that white people are dying out, the future belongs to blacks and Hispanics and Muslims. Enjoy a 20% white USA and Europe by year 2100. Of course, by that point, we'll be part of the new caliphate, so it wont really matter.

RavySnake
RavySnake

@Sharpcharm
Networking is just another name for nepotism, and you generally don't have much control over nepotism
inb4 butthurt daddy's boy responds with "hurr stay poor"

LuckyDusty
LuckyDusty

@happy_sad
a frog poster
complaining about tfw no jobs
"REEEE THEY'RE THE PROBLEM NOT ME"

That's about as r9k as it gets desu senpai

JunkTop
JunkTop

@Crazy_Nice
Try breathing helium

Supergrass
Supergrass

@Burnblaze

Never boast. Never lie.

Haha. You would do well if you are born in germany/Austria... but you weren't that lucky. Deal with it OP. Boast, lie, backstabbing, do whatever it takes.

happy_sad
happy_sad

@Supergrass

Consider yourself lucky if you are born in the US. I get lots of interview calls there and I'm from Canada. Of course they would rather hire an American so you have the advantage. There are lots of deaden jobs you can pick up in the meantime to build up connections like being a waiter (chat up regular customers). Bank teller (building relationships with clients). Go to church even if not religious or even a mosque as a fake convert. (I know this Muslim lady who pretended to be a Christian in order to work at a church). I also heard this guy got offered a job out of college from another guy he knew from church. I also came across lots of non citizens that were working low-wage jobs in california. You really have no excuse as a us citizen... you just have to be willing to lie:
omit advanced degrees from positions that don't ask for them.
Have friends be your reference for jobs that you can do but ask for years of experience like 5 yr house cleaning experience.

BE RUTHLESS

Fuck OP, at least the US is picking up. It could always be worse.

Emberburn
Emberburn

@Nude_Bikergirl
try to speak/meet with people in HR

Nah, dont do that lol. HR people are unskilled retards with a nice smile and a good hairstyle.

TalkBomber
TalkBomber

@Nude_Bikergirl

please answer 5000 questions instead of submitting your resume to us
thanks for applying your application will be added to the stack of thousands
you told us you were a white male and you don't know anyone who works here so please don't ever expect a call/email back
please do not follow up with us, we will contact you

TechHater
TechHater

@Booteefool
@5mileys
@Inmate

i signed my life away to the army and i was/still am poor

Nojokur
Nojokur

@TalkBomber
please answer 5000 questions instead of submitting your resume to us

Your answers to questionnaires are all funneled into a personality matrix the results of which are likely distributed by all businesses to a some universal firm.
But don't feel bad, they probably want to make sure you're an unaware, happy slave.

Need_TLC
Need_TLC

It's a joke really tbqh user. They give you all this vague information about the job and expect you to apply for it. They aren't suffering because they don't have enough employees, its not like that anymore. If it was you could squeeze their balls for whatever you want. HR is just there to headhunt and talk to head supervisors/managers over employee disputes. This was pretty apparent for a while now when companies have been trying extremely hard to cut costs and wages and obviously one of the easiest places to do that was HR. Sucks.

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