Comp Sci major

massdebater
massdebater

Comp Sci major
going into Senior year
currently at internship at small startup
looking into job applications for ENTRY LEVEL positions
every place wants 1-3 years experience with Java, SQL, C++

HOW THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO HAVE EXPERIENCE IF IT'S AN ENTRY LEVEL JOB WHAT THE FUCK

All urls found in this thread:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Purple_squirrel
TurtleCat
TurtleCat

@massdebater
The secret is to apply anyways.

Don't let HR's big, scary "requirements" deter you. Be proactive and persistent.

RumChicken
RumChicken

@TurtleCat
I know that but goddamn, why the fuck are Reqs for entry level so high? Who decides this shit

AwesomeTucker
AwesomeTucker

Job fairs, job fairs, job fairs.

Meet someone face to face, talk about PROJECTS that you've done in school and your free time. If you've done anything that you're proud of and can communicate that simply then you'll be OK

JunkTop
JunkTop

@massdebater

This @TurtleCat
Most millenialplebs like to claim their university job in the computer lab or as a TA as a couple years of work experience even though they really have none. It's ok when we look at your graduation date we know you'll be nearly useless when you starr

Ignoramus
Ignoramus

@massdebater
So you have any side projects? Maybe school projects that you have on github? If not, you better start. Companies are looking for people who ate proactive; I should know, I hire students like yourself

Spazyfool
Spazyfool

@massdebater
I just contact the HRs and Recruiters and if its a women in the mid 30s and she is single I go to a "formal business meeting" at 22:00 at some bar downtown, I send her few links to my CV and Portfolio etc, and she does what she does. I am full time employed starting 120k/y now without any experience beforehand.

I've done 4 of those before finding the right one, its great, coz even if you don't get the job, you get to fuck some hot ass milf.

Also learn to speak with buzzwords, they don't know what they mean and are sweating and drooling when they hear noSQL database FIZZBUZZ expert on a small SCALE STARTUP DEVELOPMENT team CSS NINJA etc.

Dreamworx
Dreamworx

@AwesomeTucker
@JunkTop
@Ignoramus
I've helped a small Youtuber with his website, not actual programming but I think it definitely shows I'm at least competent. Working on an app currently too, so I could just whip it out and show employers at fairs and also just have it on app stores

kizzmybutt
kizzmybutt

I used to be a computer engineering major. Starting at age 15, I was programming and helping my father write some backend code.

You have to have a passion man. Projects and little amounts of work while you are in school amounts to decent experience. Plus, like what @TurtleCat
said, do not fear requirements.

TreeEater
TreeEater

@massdebater
That's nothing. Apply anyway.

At my current job, they told me I seemed "underqualified" based on my resume but my performance on the technical screening test was extraordinary - and my interview went over just as well.

I'm still there now, over two years later, and have been of great value to the company.

New_Cliche
New_Cliche

@TreeEater
move to another company, don't even settle when they want to give you a pay raise, 2 years is too much in the field

Supergrass
Supergrass

@TreeEater
good goyim wagie

TurtleCat
TurtleCat

@massdebater
Yeh that every job since like 2003.

They dont actual require that they just put it down

StonedTime
StonedTime

@Spazyfool
I just contact the HRs and Recruiters and if its a women in the mid 30s and she is single I go to a "formal business meeting" at 22:00 at some bar downtown

Implying that happened

How exactly do you know that she's single and in her 30s just by contacting them online?

Harmless_Venom
Harmless_Venom

@New_Cliche
I would have considered it in the past (interviewed at Google last year), but I'm building a business on the side now and I'm not sure how the demands of other employers would impact this effort - the current job is very flexible.

MPmaster
MPmaster

@Supergrass
see
@Harmless_Venom

Spamalot
Spamalot

@RumChicken
Because HR is out of touch with reality. Just ignore them unless it's about your pay or misconduct.

farquit
farquit

@massdebater

How can possibly do a Comp Sci major and not have 4 years of java and sql at the end of it?

PackManBrainlure
PackManBrainlure

@massdebater

at internship

Boom. that's your 'one year experience.' Then go with @Ignoramus
's advice so you can show knowledge with the languages needed.

Firespawn
Firespawn

@Spamalot
I once had an interview for a marketing related job with one of those HR bimbos. I talked about experience using technical terms. Her response,"oh I don't know what most of that means". What the fuck are you doing here then?!

lostmypassword
lostmypassword

@massdebater
HOW THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO HAVE EXPERIENCE IF IT'S AN ENTRY LEVEL JOB WHAT THE FUCK

Lie your ass off. Jesus Christ, it's not hard. Do you really think Pajeet Patel has all of the qualifications he claims he does?

Methshot
Methshot

@Ignoramus
Just curious, does studying abroad actually improve a resume? I've been told this a lot and since I spent a semester in Japan, I'm wondering if it will actually do anything for my resume as a compsci grad.

Snarelure
Snarelure

Here a secret user. 0-4 years is code for entry level work. Apply for jobs that have these years even though you have no experience.

Emberburn
Emberburn

@lostmypassword
Don't lie. It will bite you in the ass later on. This is why Pajeets are constantly being laid off.

StonedTime
StonedTime

I just start small businesses and make other people pay for my overhead to get experience

ZeroReborn
ZeroReborn

@StonedTime
she looks 30ish, later on she told me and I don't care if she is single, it just looked like she was and had nothing against sucking my cock

Stupidasole
Stupidasole

@Methshot
It makes you more interesting but it's worth jack shit if you don't interview well.

Spazyfool
Spazyfool

@massdebater
Go be an officer in the military, you'll have to run a lot but 4 years and you can get a civilian job and make that money

Garbage Can Lid
Garbage Can Lid

@massdebater
@massdebater
At least you have a chance, I did Computer Engineering and I have half the coding experience of a Computer Science major and know useless as fuck shit on line and basic circuit, hopefully the courses on microcontroller will save me. I'm practically learning Java entirely on my own in hopes of finding something.

Deadlyinx
Deadlyinx

@lostmypassword
don't lie

get 1-3 years experience you dumb fuck
fuck I'm glad idiots like you stay the fuck out of proper jobs.

Lunatick
Lunatick

@Spazyfool
@StonedTime

you dont because this was bait

Booteefool
Booteefool

@Deadlyinx

the requirements are just a wish list. if they are hiring there is probably an immeiate problem they need to throw a body at and they will settle

Deadlyinx
Deadlyinx

@RumChicken
1. because HR is stupid.
2. Because they're trying to "prove" they can't find anybody and are therefore entitled to import another shitskin on H1B.

AwesomeTucker
AwesomeTucker

@massdebater
first year comp sci student
get first & only sparetime job that i apply for

Inmate
Inmate

@massdebater
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Purple_squirrel

apply for them, show how you're gonna forefill their requirements, one will come good - they'll see the potential

Gigastrength
Gigastrength

You're a fucking idiot.

Just apply dumbass, experience could be anything, university experience, personal experience, freelance experience etc. Saying "I have 5 years experience with java" isn't a fucking lie if you've been using java for 5 years even if you haven't had a java dev job. This is why you fucking retards cant get jobs, you cant even market yourself, you're a fucking pathetic piece of shit

Skullbone
Skullbone

@Deadlyinx
don't lie
You must be a college senior. Everyone fucking lies. Especially in their first five years in the work force. This is true in tech and engineering.

Need_TLC
Need_TLC

@TurtleCat
hello my steamed friend how ru how ru how ru

TreeEater
TreeEater

@massdebater

Fake it till you make it.

Emberburn
Emberburn

Unironically affirmative action
A degree used to mean you knew your shit, now every one has them so employers need something more

WebTool
WebTool

@massdebater
What they want and what they're gonna get are 2 different things. Those things are more like wish lists instead of hard requirements. What if no applies with those requirements, but they desperately need SOMEONE? Their only choice is to pick from those that applied. Or say someone did apply, but he wants too much money for their taste? Again they'll go back to the other people that applied; its their only choice.

Besides, applying doesn't cost you anything. The worst thing that'll happen is absolutely nothing.

ZeroReborn
ZeroReborn

@WebTool
Or say someone did apply, but he wants too much money for their taste?
This is the big one. Job posting are almost always one pay-grade lower than the requirements they're asking for.

Just fucking apply. Worst case scenario you don't get a response.

Fuzzy_Logic
Fuzzy_Logic

@massdebater
Computer Science being a decent major that's the main problem many students face. They have really no experience and no skills requried by employers. Employers want people who get things done, not some with bachelors or masters who cannot do shit (code all kinds of shit out of nothing)

Methnerd
Methnerd

@massdebater
show them that you are actually competent with java, sql, c++ and they wont give a shit about number of years of experience

JunkTop
JunkTop

@massdebater
I lied my way into an entry level SQL job, over 10 years ago. I just worked really hard in the 1st year, studied SQL at home most nights, and accepted a shitty wage and low status. After the 2nd year I was flying. It's hardest at the beginning, keep persisting user.

Nude_Bikergirl
Nude_Bikergirl

@Fuzzy_Logic
If you have a masters in CS then most employers will hunting you down for a job.

Booteefool
Booteefool

@massdebater
No more jobs for millennials

MPmaster
MPmaster

@JunkTop
accepted a shitty wage and low status
How far have you "flown" since then?

likme
likme

@MPmaster
I became a business intelligence / database guy. I'm moving now into query optimization and analysis. The next level for me I hope is some fat contracts at big companies a running call centers / web server with high DB load. The top guys can get $1000 a day for this kind of work, but I'm not there yet.

I love IT cos you can always level up more and more. No one knows it all, there's always more to learn / earn.

Carnalpleasure
Carnalpleasure

~7 years software engineer here:

What the hell are they teaching you in 4 years where you can't say you have 2 years of C++/C#/Java/WHATEVER experience?

You used the language, you have experience in it.

CodeBuns
CodeBuns

@likme
What is the most important foundational knowledge someone should have before they start sending applications and trying to bullshit their way into a job?

Harmless_Venom
Harmless_Venom

@CodeBuns
hard to say cos IT is a big area, it depends.

Being able to code generally, I did a night school in C++, before doing SQL.

Software development lifecycle (buzzword)

ITIL knowledge is in general demand (another buzzword ITIL). Warning: ITIL is boring as fuck.

Also don't underestimate good interview skills. You can make up for a lot of missing knowledge with charm and sounding intelligent.

And, if you really are stuck, take a job on a IT help desk. I know it's fucking menial, but I know a lot of guys that started at the help desk.

likme
likme

@Nude_Bikergirl
Sweet. Tfw education is free in my country and a bachelor is about as useless as a HS degree. In my CS major i get full knowledge of C++, more cs knowledge than mericucks, more ce knowledge than mericucks ob a ce bach, and the same math skills as someone who took a math bach. Masters are awesome. Maybe i should move to the usa and steal self taught neets jobs?

whereismyname
whereismyname

@likme
Fuck off nigger. We're full.

MPmaster
MPmaster

@Nude_Bikergirl
Even with a bachelor's degree I get regular calls and e-mails. Wasn't so easy when I was first out of school. But with the way nobody READS my resume or LinkedIn, frankly I think all you have to do is say you're 30 or whatever and they assume experience.

Shame is, most of the people trying to get me to interview are offering really shit positions. I mean, the actual work might be OK, but management is pure poison. There are alot of organizations in this area that do not, and will not, understand how IT can benefit their business. They create impossible conditions and flip out when they don't get what they want.

I worked for one in particular that bragged about how their in-house process was their leg up on the competition. Because of how everything worked, they could sell and ship a product before they paid for it. Then they went and bought Dynamics so it could be the same as everybody else's. Also, they had major performance problems, like where it could only push 1/3 of the records as the old system in a given time frame. Just one problem after another and they were beholden to MS or their contractor in Colorado every time.

Yet, so many ads are for ERP developers (Dynamics is an ERP). Nobody wants to develop software in house anymore. They say it's too expensive. Then they spend 10 times as much for an ERP platform and unleash an army of shitskins to make spaghetti on top of it.

@Harmless_Venom
ITIL
IT has ALOT of buzzwords that don't mean dick, because they don't fit your organization, aren't followed by your organization, or literally don't mean dick. IT is unfortunately very much a "me too" field, where everybody wants on the latest bandwagon because everybody else is on the latest bandwagon.

Way too many people get ahead by promoting some new buzzword like ITIL, imposing it halfway on their organization, and then skipping town to a higher paying job elsewhere before the smoke clears and the wreckage is visible to all.

girlDog
girlDog

@whereismyname
But i'm white, Aryan even.

5mileys
5mileys

@MPmaster
Another popular buzzword is SCRUM.

In practice, it's a fucking disaster. It involves alot of meetings and alot of charting. All of which take time from what's called a "sprint," a pre-defined period (usually 2-4 weeks) into which the entirety of a feature must fit into. Anything that cannot be done inside of a sprint is deemed impossible. No time is ever budgeted for documentation or testing or reviewing old work. I guess that's why they call it a sprint, you run at top speed forever, through a park, minefield, or construction site, makes no difference. And it shows in the product, which is rushed shit slapped on top of rushed shit slapped on top of rushed shit ad infinitum.

SniperGod
SniperGod

@5mileys
Another popular buzzword is SCRUM
SCRUM seems like Bjarne said about C++ compared to C. More powerful, and makes it harder to make mistakes, but when you do, you don't just blow your toe off, you blow off your entire leg.
From what I have heard, it seems that kanban is taking over. Instead of a sprint, you just finish the task you are given no matter the timeframe and don't need to fit it into these 2-4 weeks sprints.

Supergrass
Supergrass

@SniperGod
SCRUM is just another retarded process that they put into place to cover up their fear of anybody having ownership of anything.

The real problem is that companies won't consider any kind of middle ground between hyper specialization and replaceable cogs. In hyper specialization, you have no idea of the scope beyond a tiny task, so you're always in situations where 1 change pulls 20 people into a meeting and they waste a ton of time trying to put their pieces of the puzzle together. On the other end, the trend towards treating developers as cogs is not helped by the influx of unskilled poos, as it's cheap enough (on paper) to just through bodies at a software problem as if it were digging trenches or picking crops.

They are so afraid of having Bob know, say, the document processing subsystem inside and out, because they're afraid that if they're assholes to Bob (or completely ignore his stated desire to retire in X years), he will leave and take all of that knowledge with him. But in the end, with hyper specialization or replaceable cogs, that knowledge never even develops in the first place. So what do they really gain?

viagrandad
viagrandad

@Deadlyinx
Why would they prefer paying for someone's right to enter a lottery to maybe get a work visa ?

LuckyDusty
LuckyDusty

@viagrandad
Because they're stupid.

It's the mythical man month theory at work.

Let's say one man can put together a car, start to finish, in 100 hours. By HR reasoning, 100 men can put together the same car in an hour. While we all agree it's a little nuts for one man to do the entire job, a reasonable person will notice that parts of the job are SEQUENTIAL and cannot be sped up by throwing bodies at the job.

Well you go to build a software product and some hotshot in HR figures that 100 poos are cheaper than 1 professional but, in his simple mind that ignores all externalities, will complete the same amount of work. In that context, it makes "sense" to turn away "expensive" Americans in order to get a "bargain" from poos.

Remember, these people are divorced from all externalities. They do not see the shit quality of the product that costs them in lost efficiency, ongoing "support," frustrated clients, difficulty in hiring/retaining employees, and so on.

Lord_Tryzalot
Lord_Tryzalot

@LuckyDusty
butthurt autist who is too scared of talking to the HR girls

Booteefool
Booteefool

@Lord_Tryzalot
fat whale with no skills thinking HR is a real job

New_Cliche
New_Cliche

falling for the CS meme

Econ masterrace

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