Halal Beer

idontknow
idontknow

So, I had an idea for beer companies to profit enormously from. It seems to be a prerogative of everyone involved with Islam, to be an intolerant, tight-arsed cunt who can't sit back and relax every once in awhile because "no, no, some giant Gamecube and a book with moon runes told me not to."

What's the solution, you may ask? Well, it's simple.

Halal beer.

Get a beer company to start making amusing and convincing advertisements that the alcohol these stuck-up Muslims is drinking is actually "halal" and that it's okay to stop being a cunt once in awhile, and that's a market of BILLIONS OF PEOPLE they can tap into.

Really makes you think.

All urls found in this thread:
http://www.d20srd.org/srd/spells/inflictCriticalWoundsMass.htm
Gigastrength
Gigastrength

Calling something halal doesn't make it halal.
Are you retarded?

Emberburn
Emberburn

@idontknow
muslims arnt allowed to drink alcohol.

Evilember
Evilember

@Gigastrength
My post is halal. How does that make you feel?

Flameblow
Flameblow

Yes OP,

What could those Muslim clerics possibly do to stop you?

SniperGod
SniperGod

@Emberburn
muslims
following islamic rules

BlogWobbles
BlogWobbles

@SniperGod
If they aren't following the rules then calling it halal won't make a difference.
If they are, they aren't drinking alcohol.
OP's plan is like trying to sell bacon to Jews by stamping a star of david on each strip.

LuckyDusty
LuckyDusty

@Flameblow
Clerics can only cast defensive spells, so I'll just hand them a halal beer I brewed and they can either accept it or grumble in frustration.

StonedTime
StonedTime

@LuckyDusty
Clerics can only cast defensive spells
http://www.d20srd.org/srd/spells/inflictCriticalWoundsMass.htm

VisualMaster
VisualMaster

start making amusing and convincing advertisements that the alcohol these stuck-up Muslims is drinking is actually "halal"

Are you 12, or 15? Seriously, I'm getting fucking sick of the blatant underage posting. The word 'retarded' doesn't seem to be enough to express how dumb some posts are anymore.

DeathDog
DeathDog

@BlogWobbles
OP's plan is like trying to sell bacon to Jews by stamping a star of david on each strip

AwesomeTucker
AwesomeTucker

@VisualMaster
The word 'retarded' doesn't seem to be enough to express how dumb some posts are anymore.

And yet, there are one billion people who worship a guy who fucked his nine-year-old wife. Crazy fucking world, hey?

PurpleCharger
PurpleCharger

@AwesomeTucker

Firstly you don't even know what you're insulting which is of no surprise being underage as fuck, he's a messenger he's not worshiped. Secondly, what does that have to do with your children's idea akin to 'print more money and be rich'? Some people worship a warlord pedo, a bronze-age Palestinian, Emperor Selassie, a fat Asian guy, what does that have to do with your dumb shit, unless you're just stating you're another kind of idiot.

Please don't visit this site anymore. I'm sure you have some homework to do right now.

GoogleCat
GoogleCat

@idontknow
Why don't we just call the brand "Halal"

You get both dumb muslims, and rednecks who want to insult the buttfucker prophet.

StrangeWizard
StrangeWizard

@PurpleCharger
I know you are upset, but please, for the sake of your family, DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT blow yourself up. You have so much to live for, I know you feel upset, but it's better to just take a deep breath, and let it out. Eat a bacon sandwich, and drink some beer, it will calm you down nice and quickly.

Fried_Sushi
Fried_Sushi

@StrangeWizard

I'm an American atheist. I know you're coming to Veeky Forums to try and e-toughen up, but seriously fuck off back to Plebbit or 9fag. I want you cunts dead.

Stark_Naked
Stark_Naked

@PurpleCharger
a bronze-age Palestinian
Jesus lived in the iron age.

a fat Asian guy
The Buddha was Indian and he was an ascetic.

eGremlin
eGremlin

So uh... I take it nobody likes my idea, then?

PurpleCharger
PurpleCharger

@idontknow
this is a great idea, considering Muslims are mostly stupid it will work for at least initially

Supergrass
Supergrass

@idontknow
Watch them blow up your distilleries when they find out.

massdebater
massdebater

Legally, couldn't you declare yourself grand imam or whatever their pope equivalent is and make up rules on what is halal?

idontknow
idontknow

@massdebater
Why would they listen to someone who hasn't even committed the entire Quran to memory?

likme
likme

@idontknow

Alcohol isn't halal and there are just a few instances where the Muslim world turns a blind eye for the sake of custom.

People joke a lot about extremists trying to hurt you or damage your property, but if you try this in any eastern country especially as a westerner something bad will happen to you.

lostmypassword
lostmypassword

@massdebater
white guy declares himself pope of all muslims. tells all muslims to drink his halal beer. muslims dont lynch him

cum2soon
cum2soon

@idontknow
Except that the followers of this particular religion are among the most devout you can find.

If you really want them to drink beer, you'd have to make it alcohol-free. That's just fucking soda.

VisualMaster
VisualMaster

You're a fuckin idiot, it's specifically prohibited to drink in islam, and no amount of marketing is going to change that.

Booteefool
Booteefool

@DeathDog
implying that jews across the world don't have bacon and eggs for sunday brunch
Good goy, you've bought into the myth of the observant Jew.

Emberfire
Emberfire

@BlogWobbles
OP's plan is like trying to sell bacon to Jews by stamping a star of david on each strip.

Flameblow
Flameblow

@eGremlin
I like it, it probably won't work. But at least you're thinking in the right way.

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