I put up an ad on craigslist offering a "Rent-a-Friend" service for people that...

AwesomeTucker
AwesomeTucker

I put up an ad on craigslist offering a "Rent-a-Friend" service for people that are socially stunted, with hourly and daily charges. I didn't realize just how many friendless people are out there that are willing to spend money just to pretend they have a friend. In just one week of having the ad up, the email I setup specifically for it has gotten 134 messages. I've spent around 12 hours each day spending time with the people that were too dejected to handle regular people, and I have to say that it's killed a part of me.

This shit needs to stop. There's gotta be some way to cut these numbers down, the money is great, but I feel bad for charging other rejects just to spend time with them, but what the fuck do I do now? I bought a second phone for this business, I dont drive my own car, I dont let anyone know where I live, and I use a fake name, all in a bid to avoid people finding out where I live. I can't handle all these people, and I feel terrible for rejecting them when theyve already been rejected by everyone else, but I don't have the time to handle this many people.

Is this something I can turn into a business? What kind of insurances would I need to turn this into a business? Would I need a some kind of business lawyer to figure this shit out? I feel terrible about making money off of other peoples sorrow, but this is obviously a wad of cash waiting to happen.

All urls found in this thread:
http://www.webstaurantstore.com/17545/rice.html
http://www.webstaurantstore.com/17545/rice.html
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Singular_they
http://www.oxforddictionaries.com/words/he-or-she-versus-they
http://www.dailydot.com/unclick/los-angeles-people-walker/
FastChef
FastChef

@AwesomeTucker
post proof

block out names/emails and post a picture of your inbox. I don't believe you

JunkTop
JunkTop

@AwesomeTucker

I saw that Kevin Hart movie too

BunnyJinx
BunnyJinx

Interesting if it's true..
just don't be surprised when one of them kills you and you end up as a "stuffed BFF" in a basement.

StrangeWizard
StrangeWizard

@BunnyJinx
I've got life insurance covered already, not not super worried.

Stupidasole
Stupidasole

@StrangeWizard
post proof of your inbox/messages

Nude_Bikergirl
Nude_Bikergirl

@Stupidasole
Why is this important to you?

Garbage Can Lid
Garbage Can Lid

@Nude_Bikergirl
Because I'm curious to see if it's actually true because I have difficulty believing it and I would like to see some basic proof

Spamalot
Spamalot

@Nude_Bikergirl

Stop avoiding the request, faggot.

5mileys
5mileys

Well if you have two people calling you,just introduce both of them to each other,and take some money for that too,everyone wins.

Methnerd
Methnerd

@Nude_Bikergirl
Is the screenshot coming?

Why do people over the years always come to Veeky Forums claiming ridiculous shit then fall flat when asked for any sort of proof?

Emberfire
Emberfire

@Methnerd
Because I don't care whether you believe what I say or not, and i'm not getting any sort of help so i'm just gonna sit around until the thread dies in case someone actually does pop up with some help.

RavySnake
RavySnake

@Emberfire
but why is it so hard just to take quick pic of your inbox? It's very simple request, many people lurk on Veeky Forums but don't post until they see a worthy thread

I think if someone saw you provide some proof of your ridiculous claims then they'd be inclined to respond.

TurtleCat
TurtleCat

@FastChef
I believe him...I would pay for fake friends if I had money. I haven't had a friend since I was 17, 12 years ago

I'd pay someone just to hike a mountain with me

RumChicken
RumChicken

@Emberfire
See @RavySnake

CouchChiller
CouchChiller

@Emberfire
ha eat shit fag

ZeroReborn
ZeroReborn

@RavySnake
Because he doesn't care dude...I wouldn't prove it to you either

AwesomeTucker
AwesomeTucker

@AwesomeTucker
I'd fuck her

JunkTop
JunkTop

@ZeroReborn
why wouldn't you prove it?

Why is taking a quick screenshot of your inbox so difficult, you're spending more time replying than it would take to post proof and shut me and anyone else who is skeptical up.

CodeBuns
CodeBuns

@TurtleCat
I would pay for fake friends if I had money. I haven't had a friend since I was 17, 12 years ago
I'd pay someone just to hike a mountain with me

Why don't you just try making some friends?

it's so easy, just talk to people or join a club or something. What kind of job and hobbies do you have? Do you talk to people at work?

BunnyJinx
BunnyJinx

@AwesomeTucker
What do you charge?

I am thinking of doing this as a side hobby

Illusionz
Illusionz

@BunnyJinx
I charge $3.50/hr for just hanging out, $5.50/hr if we're doing more than just hanging out chatting, and $7.50/hr if we're doing anything that requires a vehicle. For one of the clients I've got $350/wk for on call work since he has a high paying job but lacks any sort of empathy required to be around people. He's more of a rehabilitation case.

@CodeBuns
Some people can't make friends, they lack the ability to one way or another.

Supergrass
Supergrass

@Illusionz
Some people can't make friends, they lack the ability to one way or another.

How is that possible? There's millions of people in any major city, they can't connect or have mutual interests with ANY of them?

Fried_Sushi
Fried_Sushi

@Illusionz
High demand
low supply

High class escorts charge $500 an hour. Now you understand why.

Lunatick
Lunatick

FUCK

too late

Harmless_Venom
Harmless_Venom

@AwesomeTucker
What section do you post in? I would love to offer this service myself and take some of the business off your hands. You know there are people who do what you do professionally they are called caregivers, certified nursing assistants and nurses.

King_Martha
King_Martha

@Supergrass
Its sometimes tough to say "Hi" to someone. But easier if you are drunk and in a bar. These people are probably teetotalers.

Soft_member
Soft_member

@Supergrass
Think of someone you hate, co worker, family member, neighbor. Now imagine that person is everyone. Thats the best way I can figure it out.

@Harmless_Venom
I posted it in Strictly Platonic.

farquit
farquit

@King_Martha
Its sometimes tough to say "Hi" to someone

How can that be tough? Just open your mouth and say it

@Soft_member
Now imagine that person is everyone. Thats the best way I can figure it out.

I don't get it. So they hate everyone? How do these people function in life? How do they work a job? Pretty much any job outside of menial factory labor requires a certain degree of social interaction.

Do these people usually hang themselves by 30 or something

happy_sad
happy_sad

if you are a girl they probably expect to fuck you lol

5mileys
5mileys

@farquit
We have an adjective for this for people, or rather a nubmer of adjectives, the primary one is "Shy" another is "Misanthrope"

takes2long
takes2long

@5mileys
how do these edge lords function in society?

What kind of jobs do these people hold?

idontknow
idontknow

is this your only source of income?

TurtleCat
TurtleCat

@idontknow
Yes, I left my last job to take care of a friend while he was in the middle of passing.

StonedTime
StonedTime

@happy_sad
This brings a good question. Is it unethical to fuck a client? Have your found yourself in this situation?

ZeroReborn
ZeroReborn

@TurtleCat
you live off under minimum wage?

Interesting, how much are your monthly expenses?

BinaryMan
BinaryMan

@TurtleCat
how do you live off 3.5 an hour? do you live with your parents?

are you boy or girl?

JunkTop
JunkTop

@ZeroReborn
$500/mo for rent, food, internet, power, dogs food, and gas.

@BinaryMan
This has been going on for just over a week, and I still have money left over from my last job. I live in a trailer, water, sewage, and gas are paid for by the landlord.

StrangeWizard
StrangeWizard

@JunkTop
$500/mo for rent, food, internet, power, dogs food, and gas

even if you live in a trailer park, how is that possible?

Ignoramus
Ignoramus

@JunkTop

I live in a trailer

jej this thread makes absolute sense now

Nojokur
Nojokur

@StrangeWizard
Dog food is around $30, food is about $40, power is only around $25, internet is $45, and gas is about $10, with rent being $350.

Fried_Sushi
Fried_Sushi

@Nojokur
but what about your 2 phone lines? you're telling me you live of $1 a day for food? and that you fill up your tank once every 3 months?

something doesn't add up

Need_TLC
Need_TLC

@JunkTop
living the life, really sounds great.

What does your average customer look like? how ugly, fat, unwashed, autistic, etc are they?

@StonedTime
Is it unethical to fuck a client? Have your found yourself in this situation?

I don't think you'd want to fuck the type of person who needs to pay money to have friends.

Any guy would be obese and a virgin and any girl would be the same

@Nojokur
you don't use a fulltank of gas in a month?

food is about $40
l o l

what is your grocery list, how many calories do you consume per day? You spend $1.30 on food per day?

Nude_Bikergirl
Nude_Bikergirl

@Nojokur
You spend $1.33 on your food daily? How? What are you eating?

Harmless_Venom
Harmless_Venom

@Nojokur
Wait

you spend almost the same on DOG FOOD, as YOU eat?

Just noticed, what the fuck? How can a dog's food cost almost as much as an adult human man's?

King_Martha
King_Martha

@Methnerd
What's the point of proofing it anyway? I proof some shit in a few threads now and meme posters just get quite when they get proofed wrong.

And then want to argue at you from a different angle.

It's literally pointless to proof anything on this board.

Spamalot
Spamalot

@Emberfire
that's not how it works
when asking for help about something weird on the chans, as the requesting for proof (and length of time without it) goes up, the likelihood of getting help goes down, and vice versa
@JunkTop
at this point it's likely the principle of the thing, you're being a doofus
also it's not hard to fake an inbox, as OP stated you still might not believe it
@Need_TLC
@Nude_Bikergirl
@Harmless_Venom
low-income household here, we spend something like 4 times that amount on food-- for 6 people
$40 a month is totally doable

girlDog
girlDog

@AwesomeTucker
How much do charge?

haveahappyday
haveahappyday

@King_Martha
What's the point of proofing it anyway?

Because I highly, highly doubt that 134 people would be interested in paying money to spend time with some random fucking person from the internet. Does that even sound plausible to you

@Spamalot
also it's not hard to fake an inbox, as OP stated you still might not believe it

Nah I meant an inbox like on gmail which shows numerous conversations with the last message regarding a 'friend for hire' service. How am i being a doofus for just trying to verify what OP is claiming?

@Spamalot
$40 a month is totally doable

what do u eat? Like just ramen and rice? Do you think that's good for your health?

SomethingNew
SomethingNew

@Spamalot
Just curious, what food do you eat?

cum2soon
cum2soon

@Fried_Sushi
I don't pay for phone usage, my mom does because she knows I'll never waste money on a cell phone contract. I ride bike in addition to driving, I only drive when I need to, because accidents and gas are expensive, and I dont have any insurance if something where to happen to it.

@Need_TLC
For the most part they're overly timid, but some of them are extremely enthusiastic about having someone to talk to. They're mostly skinny and smell like they havent showered in two days.Cars are expensive, and I eat mostly eggs, rice, and beans. http://www.webstaurantstore.com/17545/rice.html

I buy rice and beans in bulk and they last a good long time, so the leftover food money goes to other things like butter and eggs to help round out my diet. It helps only eating two meals per day.

@Harmless_Venom
Yes.

@girlDog
See here:@Illusionz

takes2long
takes2long

@haveahappyday
Do you think that's good for your health?

They wouldn't do it if they could afford better moron

w8t4u
w8t4u

@Illusionz
$5.50/hr if we're doing more than just hanging out chatting

Like what sex?

5 am hour is pretty cheap maybe I'll rent you for a few hours

askme
askme

@takes2long
They wouldn't do it if they could afford better moron

any minimum wage job affords you more than that

$40/month is 5 hours of minimum wage work per month, what are their other expenses.

Bidwell
Bidwell

@w8t4u
If we're going for walk I charge more than I would if we were just sitting at their house watching tv or talking.

massdebater
massdebater

@cum2soon
What do you look like? Are you a girl?

Why don't you get a better job than spending time with autists for $5/hour?

Inmate
Inmate

@AwesomeTucker
OP, if you're overwhelmed by the number of clients (like there are too many for you to feasibly meet) then raise your prices. That's business 101. Raise the price until the number of requests matches the amount of time you're willing to spend on this.

idontknow
idontknow

This is a weird thread

Playboyize
Playboyize

@askme
$40/month is 5 hours of minimum wage work per month, what are their other expenses

The post you were responding to said they were a family of 6, that spends 4x that (so $160 on food). Children are expensive. So is rent. So is healthcare, if they have someone with an expensive illness in the family. Maybe they are a single parent household too.

Methshot
Methshot

@massdebater
When I posted the ad I was under the influence of this webcomic and now i'd feel bad if I canceled on everyone.

@Inmate
I'd feel bad if I raised prices like that, thats like saying poor people don't deserve friends.

@idontknow
I know, 57 replies and not a single one about whether or not i'd need special kids of insurance to get this turned into an actual business.

Methnerd
Methnerd

@Playboyize
$160 on food for a family of 6

I was raised in a family of 4 and we spent over $1000 on food per month.

Burnblaze
Burnblaze

@cum2soon
For the most part they're overly timid, but some of them are extremely enthusiastic about having someone to talk to. They're mostly skinny and smell like they havent showered in two days.Cars are expensive, and I eat mostly eggs, rice, and beans. http://www.webstaurantstore.com/17545/rice.html
I buy rice and beans in bulk and they last a good long time, so the leftover food money goes to other things like butter and eggs to help round out my diet. It helps only eating two meals per day.

How do you deal with the smell?

How much do you weigh? Sounds like you are awfully frail eating only rice twice a day. I'm started to worry about your health.

Do like this guy says and start raising your rates. Every hooked I ever met that was any good eventually raised their rates after they got too much clientele

Evilember
Evilember

@Methnerd
It's almost like people have different financial situations!

WebTool
WebTool

@Burnblaze
I've told them to start taking showers twice a day and to use deodorant. No one said anything back about it and so far I havent had to tell anyone to clean themselves up a second time. I weigh 146lbs.

TurtleCat
TurtleCat

@Methshot
Just raise your damn rates. If what you are saying is true you could also grandfather in the old rates for the guys who been around from the start and all the new people have to pay more.

That's what all the best hookers I know do. They give all the johns who were around and spread the word about them the discounts and all the new guys have to pay top dollar

BlogWobbles
BlogWobbles

@Evilember
lmfao enjoy your shitty health if you spend under $50 per person on food

Can't imagine you're not severely malnourished with fucked up health if you do this

CouchChiller
CouchChiller

@Methshot
I'd feel bad if I raised prices like that, thats like saying poor people don't deserve friends.

While I appreciate the sentiment, if you don't physically have time to meet with all your clients, some people will get left out anyway. Raising prices is the best way to narrow that pool so you can meet with anyone (while benefiting your business). If you feel bad about that (which is understandable), then take all the extra money you make from the price raise to donate it to the charity of your choice (perhaps one to help the poor people you're concerned about).

VisualMaster
VisualMaster

@WebTool
Why twice a day? Isn't once good enough? Also I think you are a guy now. No way a female could weigh that much on a diet of rice.

BinaryMan
BinaryMan

@Methnerd
Why do people over the years always come to Veeky Forums claiming ridiculous shit then fall flat when asked for any sort of proof?

having life insurance
ridiculous claim

who the shit doesn't have life insruance

CodeBuns
CodeBuns

@TurtleCat
@CouchChiller
What would be a reasonable rate then? Any suggestions?

BunnyJinx
BunnyJinx

@BinaryMan
proof of this business being legit and people actually being interested in this

Fuzzy_Logic
Fuzzy_Logic

@BlogWobbles
Not everyone can afford to spend thousands on dollars on food though. No ones saying that it's healthy.

New_Cliche
New_Cliche

@BunnyJinx

that's not proof of the business being legit at all, anyone can get life insurance

whereismyname
whereismyname

@Fuzzy_Logic
Not everyone can afford to spend thousands on dollars on food though

why are people this poor even on Veeky Forums? shouldn't they be working right now

Supergrass
Supergrass

@CodeBuns
Low tier to mid tier hookers charge about 80 to 150 an hour.

One off the street maybe 40 to 100 an hour.

Mid to Higher tier ones do about 200, 300 an hour.

Some crazy ones charge like 500 an hour and up

Fried_Sushi
Fried_Sushi

@Methshot
I don't think you'll get advice on this, because I'm not sure how the hell it would be classified.

I mean, it's a service, but... a service to do what, exactly? "Hang out" is kinda hard to define in legal terms.

Need_TLC
Need_TLC

@CodeBuns
I don't know how many requests you're getting compared to how much time you have, so there's no way I could decide that.

Just as a general principle choose a price that will give you just enough clients to fill the amount of time you're willing to work. It's just about finding that equilibrium.

Like the other poster said, there's no need to immediately raise prices for your old clients. But if they ask why you're raising prices, just tell them "I'm getting too many requests for me to handle." They should understand.

Lunatick
Lunatick

@whereismyname
I would be willing to bet you know 0 poor people in real life.

Everyone needs leisure time.

Crazy_Nice
Crazy_Nice

@Lunatick
poor people are stupid and uninteresting

Harmless_Venom
Harmless_Venom

@Supergrass
They aren't a hooker though. This is a very different service so the prices won't be comparable at all.

Boy_vs_Girl
Boy_vs_Girl

@Supergrass
I'm not a hooker though.

@Fried_Sushi
Now you see one of my problems.

@Need_TLC
I may just increase by $2/hr across the board until I get fewer requests. I'll just edit the ad with an update and mark everyone email before the time as the old rate.

Spamalot
Spamalot

@Crazy_Nice
Then stop telling them how to live.

viagrandad
viagrandad

@Boy_vs_Girl
I may just increase by $2/hr across the board until I get fewer requests.

That works. You seem like a good guy, I hope your business works out for you.

happy_sad
happy_sad

@Harmless_Venom
@Boy_vs_Girl
I know I'm just saying. Some people are willing to spend about 50 to 100 for lower tier service.

I'm sure eventually he can raise his rates to maybe 30 or 50 an hour and be ok. He'll I'm sure he could find a few that would be willing to spend 100s especially for "special services" like going hiking or camping or paint balling and shit

cum2soon
cum2soon

@Boy_vs_Girl
I'm glad my knowledge of hookers has helped someone succeed in life.

God put me in those situations because he knew one day I would do his work here today

w8t4u
w8t4u

@viagrandad
Thank you.

@happy_sad
That would be a good idea if this takes off and becomes sustainable, i'm going to put it on my whiteboard. If this thing becomes profitable enough for a website I might put up a website to have a more organized layout than relying on craigslist.

askme
askme

@Boy_vs_Girl
At the very least I can't see you getting sued over this. Generally the biggest legal worry for businesses is non performance. But I can't imagine someone getting up in front of a judge and saying "Your honor, the defendant did not, in fact, hang out with me."

Inmate
Inmate

@askme
That gave me a good chuckle.

likme
likme

@Inmate
What city are you in. I want to rent you

Poker_Star
Poker_Star

@likme
No.

Methshot
Methshot

@Poker_Star
You can charge me the new prices if you want

TreeEater
TreeEater

@Methshot
No.

Emberfire
Emberfire

@TreeEater
Why though

LuckyDusty
LuckyDusty

@Emberfire
Because she is a poor heartless who're who is living in a trailer park lol..

I literally spent $180 on a piece of wagyu steak tonight lmao, 4.5x what this bitch spends on monthly food

StonedTime
StonedTime

@Emberfire
Telling me no just makes me want to rent him even harder now

ZeroReborn
ZeroReborn

@AwesomeTucker
Curious about this - what does your advertisement on craigslist look like? And under what section do you post it?

BinaryMan
BinaryMan

@LuckyDusty
I literally spent $180 on a piece of wagyu steak tonight lmao

got any pics senpai?

JunkTop
JunkTop

this is successful bait

Dreamworx
Dreamworx

@AwesomeTucker
Raise your rates until you only get a few people coming through.

but that's pretty evil to profit off people's suffering
Lol.

It's supply and demand. Just slowly start raising your rates until you have an manageable stream.

t. I was a male escort

Booteefool
Booteefool

@Emberfire
it's obvious, You know too much now.

@haveahappyday
I highly, highly doubt that 134 people would be interested in paying money to spend time with some random fucking person from the internet

I'm sure that many of us would be willing to pay for it, but such a service is more of a taboo in the west than prostitution; that's why you react like that.

MPmaster
MPmaster

@ZeroReborn
It's along the lines of "I know how trying life can be, i've had my fair share of problems, and I know what its like when you have no one to talk to, and thats why im here. I'm offering to be a friend to you in exchange for money. I won't have sex with you or anything of that nature, i'm offering to hang out with you, watch some shows, maybe take a walk, be a shoulder to cry on, just in general someone that will listen to whatever you have to say so that you don't feel so lonely as often, as long as i'm being paid for it. I'm not charging much, but time spent with you is time not spent at a job. If you understand and want someone to call a friend, get ahold of me through craisglists email forewarding."

King_Martha
King_Martha

Make sure you keep the anonymity thing serious. Someone started a similar service here but made the mistake of advertising it via their personal facebook account.
Long story short: It ended on the local news labeled as "a new form of prostitution amongst our youth", with the identity of the person (a student) widely known.

Evil_kitten
Evil_kitten

@TreeEater
c-can I hire you?

happy_sad
happy_sad

@MPmaster
I want to rent you so hard. Let me rent you

haveahappyday
haveahappyday

@MPmaster
Lmao that's shit.

I would get a copywriter from fiverr to do a better job for you for $5.

long as i'm being paid for it
I'm offering to be a friend to you in exchange for money

People don't want to hear that shit, not even mega-losers.

SomethingNew
SomethingNew

@Booteefool
I'm sure that many of us would be willing to pay for it

how autistic do you have to be for this tho

seems fucking retarded

cum2soon
cum2soon

@MPmaster

Thanks. It's honestly not surprising that this is possible. I believe it. I assume you live in a large city, as I live in quite a large city it's temping to try this. What section do you post under - under services?

massdebater
massdebater

@SomethingNew

Talk to someone who does this kind of job for an hour for less than lunch? That's a fucking deal, this is fascinating.

iluvmen
iluvmen

@Evil_kitten
@happy_sad
What cities do you two live in.

@SomethingNew
As an example, one of the clients always apologizes for things whether or not its his fault, has a massive stuttering situation, is very obese, watches anime, and his best friend is his mom.

@cum2soon
The Strictly Platonic section.

Inmate
Inmate

@Dreamworx
Read the thread moron, they already said they were raising prices

kizzmybutt
kizzmybutt

@MPmaster
After reading this I feel sort of guilty for convincing you to read prices lol (even though that's illogical because you're getting too many requests to handle anyway)

hairygrape
hairygrape

@Inmate
Hey, faggot. It's 12 am and this thread has 100 replies.

I don't expect anyone who's got anything better to do to read more than 20 posts.

they

It's "he." If gender is unknown or ambiguous, he is the term to go to because it is singular and neutral, unlike "they" which is plural.

Gigastrength
Gigastrength

@Inmate
Unless of course you think he's a girl and you're too much of a pussy to go with one or the other.

Deadlyinx
Deadlyinx

@iluvmen
Important question - how do they pay you? Cash in hand?

Techpill
Techpill

@haveahappyday
@SomethingNew
I eat chips, macaroni and cheese bowls, frozen personal pizzas, sausage, pizza rolls, and cereal, and sometimes: spaghetti, goulash, homemade pizza, homemade macaroni and cheese, delivery pizza, box macaroni and cheese, soup, Hot Pockets, and other rare things
the rest of my family has much wider diets
oh so you're a fatass
I've been losing weight actually, I eat those things but I don't eat a lot of them, my sodium intake isn't too high either
@askme
cable/phone/Internet, electricity/natural gas, gas for the car, car payments, mortgage, insurance, tobacco and rolling papers, standard consumables, and the occasional random payment like buying a notebook or a trinket or getting something fixed

TreeEater
TreeEater

@iluvmen
Orlando and I watch animes. What's wrong with watching animes?

Carnalpleasure
Carnalpleasure

@Techpill
literally surviving on carbs

disgusting

Sharpcharm
Sharpcharm

@Carnalpleasure
Same thought.

@Techpill
Get some high water-content foods in there, your colon will thank you.

Snarelure
Snarelure

@Deadlyinx
Yes, cash only, checks can be cancelled and cards can be charged back. I might get Square if this becomes stable and worthwhile and take cards. What I do is negotiate who much time they want, when they want it, and take the cash before spending time with them.

@TreeEater
I'm nowhere near orlando. Theres nothing wrong with watching anime, but there is a stigma attached to it for normal people.

Burnblaze
Burnblaze

@Gigastrength
It's not that way anymore. No one uses "he" as a gender neutral pronoun. "They" has become the accepted term for such situations.

it's never okay to have number wrong, and I will correct you on it
but it's totally to just guess the gender and possibly be wrong
language is set in stone and not defined through use

But I'm guessing you're just a /pol/ cuck who gets triggered by the word "they" because non-binary trans people like to use it. Am I wrong?

Emberburn
Emberburn

@kizzmybutt
Relish in your power to manipulate the weaker willed. Controlling other humans is one of the most intoxicating games

Firespawn
Firespawn

@Techpill
you're probably a skinnyfat piece of shit

SniperGod
SniperGod

@Burnblaze
Nah, I just had decent schooling. Written language is used to convey information, you're mixing it up with spoken language which is used more for interaction and emotion than information.

It's perfectly OK to guess gender if you don't know. Do you fumble around and refer to someone's dog as they if you don't know his gender?

It's not even something that girls do, it's something that insecure people worry about.

SniperWish
SniperWish

@Burnblaze
no it's just incorrect grammar

It's assumed to be a he when the gender is unknown. that is proper english. You can write whatever you want but it's kind of misleading because it's incorrect.

WebTool
WebTool

@Methnerd
spotted the fucker with rich parents that never ate Frosty Flakes or drank Bubba cola

LuckyDusty
LuckyDusty

@WebTool
I've never been in a situation where I had to resort to eating knockoffs.

Frosted Flakes are GOAT tho.

RumChicken
RumChicken

@WebTool
feelsgoodman

Enjoy your shitty health and effeminate skinnyfat physique though

VisualMaster
VisualMaster

@WebTool
"alibaba.com"

Gl to your health. I thought you just misspelled Frosted Flakes.

BunnyJinx
BunnyJinx

@SniperWish
no it's just correct grammar

'They' can be used in the singular when gender is unknown. that is proper english. You can write whatever you want but it's kind of misleading because it might be incorrect.

Ignoramus
Ignoramus

@Carnalpleasure
sausage was a big part of my diet, I'm trying to make it that way again
also the pizza rolls are surprisingly healthy
@Sharpcharm
I drink lots of water
@Firespawn
I am, but I'm fixing that by eating less and exercising more and eating less of things that are mostly carbs (like macaroni and cheese)

Raving_Cute
Raving_Cute

@hairygrape
It's "he." If gender is...
edgy.

Nude_Bikergirl
Nude_Bikergirl

@hairygrape
I've been using "they" for unknown singular people for as long as I could talk (25+ years) and no one ever told me to do it because it was politically correct or even nice
stay mad faggot, your language is changing and your to slow to keep up

Sir_Gallonhead
Sir_Gallonhead

@SniperGod
Written language is used to convey information, you're mixing it up with spoken language which is used more for interaction and emotion than information.

The important distinction isn't written vs spoken, it's colloquial vs formal. Veeky Forums is one of the most colloquial forums for written word anywhere.

So I'll keep using "they" because it just sounds more correct, colloquially. Guessing gender just feels weird to me when, colloquially, "they" totally works (until you determine the gender of course).

King_Martha
King_Martha

@Nude_Bikergirl
Probably because you're middle/lower class.

@Raving_Cute
I used to write for BuzzFeed, but they fired me after they found out I wasn't the black man I claimed to be.

@Ignoramus
Glad to hear it. Good luck with losing weight and maintaining it after.

@BunnyJinx
For the cultural trend setters, sure. But for anyone with whose interest is in more preftiges pursuits it's poor form.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Singular_they

@Sir_Gallonhead
To each their own. Just don't go around saying it near curmudgeons.

Spamalot
Spamalot

@SniperWish
@SniperGod
Google disagrees with you.

farquit
farquit

@Spamalot
http://www.oxforddictionaries.com/words/he-or-she-versus-they

"Today, this approach is seen as outdated and sexist. There are other options which allow you to arrive at a ‘gender-neutral’ solution, as follows."

It's just away to identify where people grew up. If you pull this shit in high finance you're getting eased out.

farquit
farquit

@AwesomeTucker
Listen here, you retard.

The only way to get out of the slum you're living in and not blatantly use your clients for money while at the same time satisfying all the demand is to set up a matchmaking service for "friends".

It's moronic to spend your time with those people. Let them spend time with each other, it's the only scalable solution.

Request some kind of club membership fee + additional charges for new friends. Make them take personality tests or talk to them and see that their interests are. Then make ppl with similar interests meet.

Some ppl will stop coming to you after they have a few decent friends but that's fine. Word of mouth will give you enough clients and you can organize reunions or special group events to keep the cash flowing.

You'll also be a decent human being if that matters to you.

likme
likme

@Emberfire
POST A FUCKING SCREENAHOT ALREADY, YOU FILTHY LIAR.

Playboyize
Playboyize

@Spamalot
I would not hire you if you used "they" as a replacement for "he/she". If anything, it's a way to identify illiterates and tumblr-brand SJWs.

ZeroReborn
ZeroReborn

I can see how a rent a friend can be a very profitable and real thing. I'm sort of interested in seeing if people do it in my area.

Burnblaze
Burnblaze

@Boy_vs_Girl
make a trial period with your price raises. You could start off with the $2 price raise and then see how the market reacts to that. If you are still flooded with requests, then raise it another $2 and continue this practice until you find a nice balance. Then keep a list of clients showing at what level they've been grandfathered in at.

LuckyDusty
LuckyDusty

@AwesomeTucker
Raise your rates.
add 3 zeroes.

How good a friend could you be.

DeathDog
DeathDog

@LuckyDusty

but are you Chinese?

Lunatick
Lunatick

@AwesomeTucker
WOW user.
I have had the exact same idea ~5 years ago and rejected pursuing it for the exact same reasons that fuck you up now.

How much do you charge per hour call/in persona?

farquit
farquit

@DeathDog
i seriously ask him all the time and he never answers.

BinaryMan
BinaryMan

@LuckyDusty
Why do you always avoid this @DeathDog
question?

PurpleCharger
PurpleCharger

It sounds like you go to these people's homes. What if they refuse to give you the money? What if they forcibly keep you there? What if they kill you? I'm sure you've thought about these dangers, so what made you want to give this a shot anyway?

I'm thinking about doing this myself, but I can't get over these fears

Fried_Sushi
Fried_Sushi

@PurpleCharger
he already said he has life insurance

Also people can kill you in any business where you visit them alone.

Illusionz
Illusionz

@AwesomeTucker
1. stop wasting money on a second cellphone and just use google voice for a "Business" number

2. start scaling up to having "group" hangouts instead of 1 on 1's. Be selective in figuring out which ones can handle being around more than just you. start slow (you + 2, meet in some kind of mutual interest public location, etc) and build up until you have full groups functioning.

3. you could also continue the 1 + 2's and frame it in a "I'm helping you make more friends" and thus the idea is you are the moderator of these two strangers with similar interests thtat get to know each other and make friends. At that point they can hang out together and you still make money as theyre hooked on you as their friend maker for more.

It's like being a dating coach onlytheyre not reaching the end goal of getting a gf/life partner, so theyll never leave your service since they'll naturally always have voids to fill. Kinda evil genius shit really

LuckyDusty
LuckyDusty

@DeathDog
Missed @LuckyDusty
, glad someone stepped in.

Spamalot
Spamalot

@Nojokur
Why would you just lie like this?

likme
likme

@Fried_Sushi
Yes, but this is a business where you are specifically visiting people with deep mental illnesses.

kizzmybutt
kizzmybutt

@Illusionz
Or they'll just start hanging out with the people in the groups without you And stop paying for your services. Good way to kill your business

Techpill
Techpill

@Illusionz
I'm not wasting money on a cell line.
Group is on my whiteboard and i'm going to go through pros and cons of it when I have time with a bubble graph.
I might do something like that, but i'd feel bad taking money when not directly providing a service.

@PurpleCharger
I carry mace with me, I bought a canister of it a few months ago when I was working nights. Besides, i'm not married or seeing anyone, no one knows who gets my life insurance money when I kick the bucket, and the most expensive thing I own thats not a car is my headphones. My entire wardrobe consists of work clothes and one set of dress clothing, i'm almost the definition of "Live within your means".

Lunatick
Lunatick

@Techpill
Don't you have a friend (preferably a big guy) who can act as your bodyguard? Maybe follow you around. If you raise your prices you could consider it.
Also, this is something like a psychologist visit, maybe that's the kind of business that you can get insurance for.

Boy_vs_Girl
Boy_vs_Girl

are you a boy or girl?

Burnblaze
Burnblaze

@farquit
jesus you're such a fucking kool guy all the time, keep up the good work. 10/10 post!

Snarelure
Snarelure

@Emberfire
Dude stop being painful about it, our hearts are crusted over from all the lies we've seen on this board, our hands weak and brittle from calling out these lies,

Why don't you post proof and appeal to our emotion, and then you will surely have a chance of spurring us into action and helping you remedy this.

Firespawn
Firespawn

@SniperWish
It's assumed to be a he when the gender is unknown. that is proper english.

what the hell kind of language is english? you guys have gender neutral pronouns but wont use them?

RavySnake
RavySnake

@King_Martha
it's not so simple. I have a,similar problem . Like...I might be sone type of skitzoid according to behavioral psychology but I can't get close to or make friends with peoole unless I know they like me. Like it makes me self conscious otherwise. I can talk to my coworkers or classmates especially when I need their felp but to actually make friends with them and hang out is something that's always been hard. I guess I have a problem trusting people and maybe accepting myself as a person most people would like .idk.Especially,with the opposite gender. I know it's stupid but it's just how I feel.

Nude_Bikergirl
Nude_Bikergirl

buy a gun if you plan to continue OP

lostmypassword
lostmypassword

@RavySnake
so.. would you pay someone to hang out?

Techpill
Techpill

I'd like to find some people who'd pay me to hang out with them, then go hang out with them and we just sit around smoking weed and playing vidya all day. I could do that everyday I even considering letting them play with my boipussy for a little more cash.

askme
askme

@Nude_Bikergirl
<3 america.

BlogWobbles
BlogWobbles

@Techpill
I want to rent you so hard

ZeroReborn
ZeroReborn

@lostmypassword
Uh not really because again the stigma associated with it like anon/Op? mentioned. Plus I'm poor.

Spamalot
Spamalot

I'm actively ripping off your idea OP,can you post a screenshot of the ad so that I can rip it word from word?

askme
askme

@AwesomeTucker
I saw Japan vice so I will troll you lonely fucks

Poker_Star
Poker_Star

@askme

Kek was thinking the same the entire time I've been lurking this thread

Playboyize
Playboyize

Tried this,OP is a lying faggot.My post got flagged immediately and removed.

FastChef
FastChef

@JunkTop
It's actually a thing you know. Not widespread, but some people have done it.

One woman even has a cuddling business. She gets a lot of customers.

Lord_Tryzalot
Lord_Tryzalot

@Fried_Sushi
I reckon you make sure you only visit these people in a public area

w8t4u
w8t4u

Your prices are too low OP. You're not doing the world any favours by under pricing.

This guy charges $7/mile. That's like $21/hour compared to your $5.50/hour for a walk. He's probably better than you but not by that much.

http://www.dailydot.com/unclick/los-angeles-people-walker/

Raise prices. Re-invest in better food and lifestyle for a healthier you and a better product for your customers.

Ensure you're using your time efficiently by keeping prices high enough to weed out those who don't value your services as much as those willing to pay more. Really it would be unfair of you to exclude those who would most value your service simply because you don't have the time. Make sure those who want it can get it by paying a fair price (much higher than now).

BlogWobbles
BlogWobbles

@w8t4u
Ideally I could charge people on a % based on income, but I can't do that, and chances are if someone can afford a hundred dollars a day for a friend they can afford a therapist. I'd rather not raise my rates to the point where someone can't afford to buy some time, poor people need someone to talk to just as much as rich people.

Gigastrength
Gigastrength

@BlogWobbles
I get that you want to help those people as well but the reality is that you can't do everything. You will do the most good for the world if you charge proper prices.

Having prices at the market rate lets you measure the value of what you're doing. Ok, some people are richer or poorer by luck but people do really have quite a bit of control over how much they earn. If a poor person really wants to hang out with you, maybe they will find a way to earn more money by creating more value for others.

Speaking of poor people, you're probably living below the poverty line and you can't be accumulating much savings. Why should you be subsidizing other people who couldn't possibly be much poorer than you when you are the person that's getting off your ass and finding something really valuable that you can do for others.

Also you need to think of yourself for the sake of the customers. First of all by being in better physical health you will be a better freind to be around. Second of all what if you have an emergency like a health emergency or a broken car or something. You need some money to keep yourself in business so you can keep serving your customers. Marc Andreessen said he has seen many tech companies go out of business because they didn't raise prices. If your not capturing the value you're creating you will run out of steam.

Stupidasole
Stupidasole

just posted an add up and already got a hit fuck me.

Raving_Cute
Raving_Cute

@AwesomeTucker
Looks to me OP you are some sort of life coach. you are better off becoming an LLC. I do suggest you raise your rates though but for the days you want relief on. Like weekends. You can't help them all but you can do a bang up job you can do for the few that you can. Learn how to write a contract about your time and what it entails.

Lunatick
Lunatick

@Techpill
Op I suggest using RingPlus its a very cheap MVNO option that offers "free" services in exchange for listening to ads.

Garbage Can Lid
Garbage Can Lid

@AwesomeTucker
Perhaps try this : with your most loyal customers, tell them youre raising prices for a beter product. For your less loyal, start making groups. Invite a few to a little event, maybe just 2 to start. If you can help them build a stable relationship outside of you, youve just weeded out two customers and no longer need to associate?

I dunno, just an idea? Maybe get them all to play dnd or some shit

CouchChiller
CouchChiller

@BlogWobbles
FUCKING ANSWER THE QUESTIONS ABOUT WHAT YOUR GENDER IS PLEASE

Spamalot
Spamalot

@CouchChiller
bet its a chick.

w8t4u
w8t4u

@CouchChiller
@Spamalot
It's a guy. Only eats rice and beans and doubt a female can reach that weight on such a diet. Probably a very frail guy

If it were a female I'd expect her to be maybe 115 to 130 on a diet of rice and beans but he is at like 150

ZeroReborn
ZeroReborn

@w8t4u
Wouldn't a woman be heavier for the same amount of food?

Nojokur
Nojokur

@TurtleCat
fucking this.

why is Op so stupid?

@CodeBuns
stop attention whoring fag. why are we replying for free we should charge Op

girlDog
girlDog

@ZeroReborn
Men on average are much taller than women with more muscle tissue and more bone mass.

SniperWish
SniperWish

@BlogWobbles
has too many customers
doesn't make enough to make a living

doesn't want to raise rates because poor people

This is what happens when bleeding heart far-left liberal politics meet business. One side will win and one side will fail and fuck off

Methnerd
Methnerd

@CouchChiller
@MPmaster
I won't have sex with you or anything of that nature, i'm offering to hang out with you

Probably a chick. A guy wouldn't have to go through the effort of stating that he isn't a prostitute

TechHater
TechHater

@Boy_vs_Girl
The best plan is to keep raising the rates until you get just enough people asking to use your service that you can handle. Best of luck to you, user.

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