Dota 2 General - /d2g/

>girls can't have gigantic fut horsecocks
ok reddit

FEAR HE WHO FEARS NOTHING

>wisp might actually win the arcana
epic meme!

post the webm

you know the one

is d2g so dead that there even aren't enough memes to fill up a memeoire?

I'm sure those 3% of the playerbase will love it!

this one right

Got you covered bro

Of course not, girls are born with vaginas.

kaiji's so sad actually

Who's the most woke hero?

...

>tfw played against rtz
holy shit im famous

What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in Economics, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret Elo ratings on team EG, and I have over 300 confirmed stats. I am trained in algebra and I’m the top statsman in the entire BTS payroll. You are nothing to me but just another number. I will find win percentages with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of SJWs across the USA and your K is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re a fucking statistic, kid. I can stat anywhere, anytime, and I can stat you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my macbook. Not only am I extensively trained in Glicko, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the University of Western Ontario and I will use it to its full extent to stat your miserable ass off the face of the top 10 dotabuff players, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will overreact all over you and you will drown in it. You’re a fucking number, kiddo.

spirit breaker

Why does that girl have a penis?

...

...

...

fugg

Holy shit. My mom came into my room to bring me a plate of tendies and I literally screamed at her and hit the plate of tendies out of her hand. She started yelling and swearing at me and I slammed the door on her. I'm so distressed right now I don't know what to do. I didn't mean to do that to my mom but I'm literally in shock from the results tonight. I feel like I'm going to explode. Why the fucking fuck is he at ti6? This can't be happening. I'm having a fucking breakdown. I don't want to believe valve is so corrupt. I want a future to believe in. I want Nahaz to be a panelist and fix this broken scene. I cannot fucking deal with this right now. It wasn't supposed to be like this, I thought he was doing well in Majors???? This is so fucked.

REVISED HERO CONCEPT v0.20

BlitzDota - the Meme Caster
a ranged int hero
--------------------
Str - 20 + 2.4
Agi - 14 + 1.4
Int - 22 + 2.9

Range - 450
Base Armor - 1
Base Dmg - 27 - 37
BAT - 1.85
Base MS - 305
Turn Rate - 0.90
--------------------

Q - Uncontrollable Giggling - Target Self

Blitz reduces himself into an uncontrollable fit of laughter. Stuns himself for 5 seconds. Is immune to all dmg for the first 1.5/2/2.5/3 sec of this ability - 75mana 12/11/10/9 cd

W - False Flag as Gay - Target Ally channeled (500 cast range)

Blitz pretends to be a giant homosexual faggot and rubs an allies' shoulders with mystic powers applying a Weak Purge and healing them for 20/35/50/65 hp per second (can be cast even if stunned). - 16mana/s 22 cd

E - Ask Purge for help - No Target

Blitz summons his friend Purge Gamer for 40 seconds - 100/125/150/175mana 80 cd

Purge - 550/600/650/700 HP -
4 armor, 295 ms, 1.9 BAT 200 AS
500 range, piercing dmg - 60/75/90/105 dmg
passive - Purge - the enemy feels depressed from missed cs and is Purged of all buffs

R - Open Eyes - Target Area

Blitz opens his eyes and fires a beam of pure energy at all enemies infront of him (1000 wide 2000 range). Instantly deals 450/600/750 bkb piercing pure dmg. Has a 2 sec channel period (can be cast even if stunned, but stunning during the channel period will still cancel the ult). - 150/225/350mana, 120 cd

**Aghs Upgrade** - Evian® Bottle

Blitz is granted an Evian® Bottle sized cock, granting him 50% cleave in 225 Aoe and increasing his attack range to 200. Every 20 attacks the Evian® Bottle unleashes a powerful spray in front of Blitz, stunning all enemies in a cone going 500 units out for 2 sec and applying a 35AS/MS slow for 6 seconds.

based pastabro

>literally got himself kicked out of TI6 for having a rage out over his own social exclusion due to being older

l o l

he probably wouldve worn a BLM shirt on the stage.

>ranged hero
>aghs boosts his range to 200

fix it

Hello, today I was playing Sven, the Rogue Knight. I was laning alone against Alleria, the Windrunner and Krobelus, the Death Prophet. First of all I disagreed with being solo against those heroes in the first place but whatever. Anyway, I was having some serious issues with Krobelus, the Death Prophet using her Carrion Swarm ability which sends a swarm of bats to damage her enemies dealing 100/175/250/300 damage with a radius of 110-300 to harass me, as well as Alleria, the Windrunner using her Power Shot ability which causes her to charge a bow shot which deals increasing amounts of damage (120/200/280/360 maximum) depending on how long she charges it and the amount of units it passes through. With all the harass, I could never enter the lane and ran out of consumables very quickly (I am referring to Ancient Tangos of Essifation, and Healing Salves). What can I do about this?

someone tell me what lane arteezy went and what his build was

thanks senpai

>accidentally queue for united states of peru east
>get matched up with pedro and his happy br band
>decide to jungle prophet so i don't have to deal with them
>help set up some nice ganks, get a couple of kills, and give us an early lead
>team starts talking shit to me
>wait what
>realize we have no wards on the map
>tinker hits the point where he starts being an obnoxious piece of shit, can't really push anywhere
>my jug was either playing in a peruvian internet cafe or he had the reaction times of a wheelchair-bound retard
>only ward on the map is on the cliff on the border of the map
>no detection for slark whatsoever
>peruvian team still talking shit to me in whatever monkey taco babble they call a language
>anxiety building up, go on tilt
>decide to mute the team and farm for a rapier
>give it to slark
>watch my team go ballistic
>anxiety gone

gg tower and tell your teammates "told you so". Then go farm to other lane or jungle

>Not watching Ayesee

HAMMER = DROPPED
SABRES = RATTLED
ISSUE = FORCED
ANKLES=WET
PUSH = TP REACTED
DOLLAR = SHORT
DAY = LATE
THOUGHT = BETTER
HAND = COOKIE JAR
BUTT = SLAPPED
SKILL = CONNECTED
MUSCLES = FLEXED
WELCOME = OVERSTAYED
WORK = GONE TO
FIGHT = COMMITTED TO
SPOT = ON
GOLD = INFUSED
WICKETS = SPLIT
DAY = AT THE END

>If Ayesee casted TI2
"THE BAGLES ARE STORMING THE RIVER
NA'VI ARE ABOUT TO BECOME BREAD STICKS IF THEY DON'T REALIZE WHAT IS GOING ON
DARKSYLL SHHHH STOP TALKING ABOUT NAGA COUNTERS
BLACK HOLLEEEEEE
THE WEASELS WERE TURNED INTO RATTLESNAKES
DENDI DROPS THE HAMMER TO THE PEDAL ON THE METAL OYOYOYOYOY OPAPOPA OYOYOYOY
DENDI
DENDI
DENDI
IG WERE A DAY LATE A DOLLAR SHORT WITH THAT SMOKE"

Tobi:

>THERE'S YOUR RP
>NOW LODER, HE HAS HIS MJOLLNIAH UP AND RUNNING, BUT WITH HIS TEAM ON THE SIDELINES AND DENDI HAS THE GHEM TO TAKE A CRACK AT DEWARDING, AND YEAH, EASIEST DEWARDING OF HIS LIFE EVEN WITH THE CUDDLE BLAST AND THAT?S ALL SHE WROTE
>IT'S A DISASTAH
>WHAT ARE THEY DOING WITH THEIR LIVES? - courtesy of CV

BTS studio:
>Oh boy, oh gee, I'm so happy all the time, what do you think Godz, great RP catching 4, right?
>Most people don't know this, LD, but Chinese usually only catch 5 with their RPs. What do you think Lumi?
>Jeshus, I mean, ushually you'd eshpectrf some more pashienss from s4, but yeah, pfllrtbrbrtbtt, they're playing OUT OF THEIR MINDSH

The GD Studio:
>Where's my whisky? You bloody bastards, stop wanking to Soe on Veeky Forums. God dammit, Bruno explain the lanes.
>So, we'll have the Benomancer on the eassy lane, and we're using Ogre Magi because we have no Jakiro. I'm going to repeat it. BENOMANCER. Draskyll?
>I mean, Jakiro is not THAT important of a hero, by any strech of the imagination. I'm not saying he's THAT good, too. It's just that he's pretty much average in most ways, and ends up just being a medium hero over all. Who do you think will be in mid, Weppas, Mag or Puck?
>... Yeah

Is it me or did people become a lot worse over the last weeks?

Based redditbro

just you

...

kys

1-3 play Cave Story
4-6 play Civilization
7-9 dip my MMR to new lows beyond the grasp of mankind
0 keep grinding on RuneScape

REVISED HERO CONCEPT v0.20a (hotfix)

BlitzDota - the Meme Caster
a ranged int hero
--------------------
Str - 20 + 2.4
Agi - 14 + 1.4
Int - 22 + 2.9

Range - 450
Base Armor - 1
Base Dmg - 27 - 37
BAT - 1.85
Base MS - 305
Turn Rate - 0.90
--------------------

Q - Uncontrollable Giggling - Target Self

Blitz reduces himself into an uncontrollable fit of laughter. Stuns himself for 5 seconds. Is immune to all dmg for the first 1.5/2/2.5/3 sec of this ability - 75mana 12/11/10/9 cd

W - False Flag as Gay - Target Ally channeled (500 cast range)

Blitz pretends to be a giant homosexual faggot and rubs an allies' shoulders with mystic powers applying a Weak Purge and healing them for 20/35/50/65 hp per second (can be cast even if stunned). - 16mana/s 22 cd

E - Ask Purge for help - No Target

Blitz summons his friend Purge Gamer for 40 seconds - 100/125/150/175mana 80 cd

Purge - 550/600/650/700 HP -
4 armor, 295 ms, 1.9 BAT 200 AS
500 range, piercing dmg - 60/75/90/105 dmg
passive - Purge - the enemy feels depressed from missed cs and is Purged of all buffs

R - Open Eyes - Target Area

Blitz opens his eyes and fires a beam of pure energy at all enemies infront of him (1000 wide 2000 range). Instantly deals 450/600/750 bkb piercing pure dmg. Has a 2 sec channel period (can be cast even if stunned, but stunning during the channel period will still cancel the ult). - 150/225/350mana, 120 cd

**Aghs Upgrade** - Evian® Bottle

Blitz is granted an Evian® Bottle sized cock, granting him 50% cleave in 225 Aoe and increasing his attack range to 600. Every 20 attacks the Evian® Bottle unleashes a powerful spray in front of Blitz, stunning all enemies in a cone going 600 units out for 2 sec and applying a 35AS/MS slow for 6 seconds.

Wait so nahaz isnt at ti6 because of his little dummyspit during that town of salem mafia game they played in the break room of manila?

gfdi

why?

>act like a total autist
>people shun you

welcome to real life, NEET

Yes valve said that kind of behavoir is not allowed

nahaz fucking sucks anyways

I will never not lose this pasta.
I can hear the voices so well in my head.

>act like a total jack ass and you don't get invited to valve events because that is not what they want to portray dota as

IT HAS HAPPENED LIKE THREE TIMES NOW, HOW ARE YOU RETARDS NOT UNDERSTANDING HOW THIS WORKS YET?

hello, reddit

all he did was get emotional for maybe 5s, dropped 1 F bomb, he wasnt unprofessional just mad at the loser millennials making him play a meme game, did he even know he was being filmed? probably not, so how is that fair?

You call me neet, but im studying full time. I think you meant to link to this guy who literally rolled a Veeky Forums post to see what one of his 4 computer games he would play

he was literally paid money per hour to be on camera during mafia

hello; reddit

a puck can't carry

*takes every tower by pushing with team*
*picks off every squishy when they show their face*'
*gets perfect vision with wards for team in order to take objectives*

*didn't carry*

is it me or did these threads get even worse than 6 months ago?

>throw a fit when you have to do your job
>get fired

again, welcome to real life you retarded NEET

Hi, how are you doing in this fine night, fellow redditor?

>TFW NO PLUMP TRAXEX WAIFOOS WHY EVEN LIVE DOTURDS??....

every single caster sucks anyways, no caster is best

good evening fellow gents

Not this meme again please

XDDDD

Nice personal blog faggot post moar 10/10 would read

Such a fine evening for us American whites.

>sumail
>fedora

not surprised

again, i am not the LOSER FUCKING RETARD who had to ROLL A Veeky Forums POST TO SEE WHICH ONE OF HIS HALF A DOZEN GAMES HE'D WASTE HIS FAT WORTHLESS LIFE ON.

So a respectable guy with grey hair, someone I would want my parents seeing if they saw me watching the competition because they would be more open to it seeing such an old cunt being involved with the game,

oh but let me guess, that fucking stud anal cuck will be on the desk because she's the only person past 5k with a vagina

at least try

you are literally advocating that someone who directly went against his employees did nothing wrong as he was being paid to do a job. quite literally only a NEET wouldnt understand why that got him fired

i bet you are one of those retards who thinks james was in the right when he continued to defy his employee after being warned to calm the fuck down on several occupations

>sheever
>past 5k

oh i am laffin m8

what happened, is there a vid?

youtube.com/watch?v=hNVrqS1wUYY

occasions*

wew phone posting blows

thanks senpai i put a lot of effort into it

>nahaz is the only confirmed not ti person

fuck

we already know sheever and kotlguy would have made a huge show if they weren't invited

...

kek, thanks

tfw you fall for the tranquils into soul ring mist coil meme and up with a 40% winrate on the hero

>finish your current game to start this game mode

literally been going on for a year now

does valve even give a shit about this game's (and in particular reborn's) bugs anymore? I feel like icefrog rolls out a shit patch every 4 months and besides that its just millions of dollars in hats

we still don't have pitlord, we still have how-to-debug 101 problems, like holy fuck what is going on with valve?

>#moi
fuck I did that shit when I was 13

discord.gg/JHdXB
Get in lads

Remember what happened last time one of the "caster circle" wasn't invited?

Caster circle is the only name I can think of, where basically they invite all their friends to each other's events regardless of performance or customer feedback. Once you make it into the circle you have a free paycheck until dota dies

holy shit thanks for telling me dude

checked out his twitter, holy shit an actual no nahaz event, I'm so pumped for TI now

>all those cucks who think he should be on the panel just because they have to work with him irl

jesus christ how horrifying

"more natural on camera than..." yeah sure. real natural.

>KOTLguy is the most human I know, I once saw him eat an entire sandwich without discharging
>LD lizardman on kotlguy

How much does average caster make? 5k shekels per event?

ikr? yeah okay he's not a flailing squealing mumbling autist, but that doesn't make him not insufferable, and have any sort of useful game knowledge

depends on the event but the most they get for an event is like 15k

keep in mind thats for working less than 2 weeks basically bullshiting the entire time

also valve pays for the hotel, food, travel and even buys the retards proper clothing

We almost there Reddit

>tfw not a single (You) in this thread

>that reddit thread about nahaz not in TI

reddit is all i can read at the McD in my work breaks all right give me a break

Anybody experimented with ursa aghs?
BKB is too baitable, especially when your team are useless fucks who can't even initiate properly

ancient news
aghs has been the prime since patch released

I'm thinking about playing ranked for the first time after 800+ hours of play.
Good idea / bad idea?