The Worst Garage

You have been tasked with making the worst possible mechanic shop. How do you accomplish this?

show them Haggard Garage's shop

Use local stealership garage as an example

make it Mercedes Benz authorized

>charge people $100 just to plug their car in a diagnostic machine

oh wait that's already the standard

Shag carpet the entire floor.

Fill it with Teslas.

Gay porn centrefolds on the walls

Hire 3 or 4 dips off Veeky Forums...and then watch it all dissolve into a bitch/shit fest...

Throw in a couple people from /n/ too lol

All of the sockets go into a bag, not in a neat tray

By making it a dirt lot.
Any garage is better than no garage.

Dirt floor
badly rusted steel roof
trees used as cherry pickers, using tie down ratchet straps for lifting
trees used to lift cars, using same tie down straps
Cinder block jack stands

Socket bag is placed on an amgled circular tumbler, so nothing falls out, but they are constantly in motion.

All female workforce with liberal arts degrees.

angled*

calm down satan

All parts i use are cheap knockoffs from China, but i charge the customer like they were from expensive and well known brands.

END GAME HERE

Heartbreaker pls be Jew somewhere else but I would probably do the same kek

Open a BMW franchised dealership

>please don't try and mansplain me sir

what about organism

every single tool goes into one 55 gallon drum

every
single
tool

Nuts/bolts/small parts from every job all go into one bin, to be picked through for reassembly.

Buy a Firestone franchise.

...

All of the 10mm sockets and wrenches are missing and the air compressor for the pneumatic tools runs constantly with no sound damping.

Easy. I fill out an application at Monroe.

Work on only Euro cars

everyone has to share one toolkit and its only a little 3/8th socket set you bought for 50 bucks

No oil catch trays, they just drain it directly onto the floor.

There are no exhaust hose ports, no exhaust fans and no Carbon Monoxide detectors.

There are no wrenches or sockets. Just crescent wrenches.

...

do you only service Jewish customers?

only work on blinker fluids and piston return springs

Thats how they did it over in Cambodia when I went. There was this little oil change place that was servicing semi-trucks and they had a concrete drain that went from the oil change pit directly to the creek out back. I almost couldn't believe it at first. They were literally dumping gallons of oil at a time, too

Only do work on the last car to come and keep stacking unfinished jobs.

If you have to many unfinished cars you can just move them into that messy part of the shop that's hidden from the view of whoever pulls in.

This.

Impact wrench everything with total disregard for torque adjustment.

Located in Detroit

5 foot ceiling
thick, shaggy, carpet floors

This describes 95% of all shops.

Fuck you. I am literally shaking right now.

The customers at our shop wait inside their vehicles and management will do nothing about it.

The horror...the horror...

I think you win

While it is a huge clusterfuck and fire hazard, I find it to be rather comfy. Cant say that about most shops.

Hire an entirely female staff. In the extreme off chance they're even qualified, nothing will get done since everybody is gossiping and being a passive aggressive cunt to eachother