Why alleged marriages went out of favour? People are biased to choose wrong...

CouchChiller
CouchChiller

Why alleged marriages went out of favour? People are biased to choose wrong partners, why not just let more competent people to lend them a helping hand in a such complicated and important matter?

BinaryMan
BinaryMan

alleged marriages

People claiming you were married to them was never in favour.

Garbage Can Lid
Garbage Can Lid

but my radfem professor said divorce is freedom and gender roles are oppressive

Booteefool
Booteefool

@CouchChiller
You mean arranged marriages? Because its much more profitable for relationships to be arranged in a fashion similar to the market economy and that way we can pretend that we have more choice than we actually have in deciding who we marry, perpetuating the myth of liberation

Harmless_Venom
Harmless_Venom

If you look into any successful marriage now, you'll see that it was practically an arranged one. It's not like the couple didn't have any input.

RumChicken
RumChicken

@CouchChiller
Romantism
Individualism

FastChef
FastChef

@Garbage Can Lid
Being forbidden from changing your mind and having to conform to a set arbitrary social mores is freedom
m8

Crazy_Nice
Crazy_Nice

@CouchChiller
Every Indian I know is in arranged marriage or promised to one.

takes2long
takes2long

Because you can end up with someone who is entirely your opposite. Sure, you can befriend them, but wouldn't that defeat the purpose of a marriage?

askme
askme

@takes2long
true love is the worst spook of all

kizzmybutt
kizzmybutt

@CouchChiller
People are biased to choose wrong partners, why not just let more competent people to lend them a helping hand in a such complicated and important matter?
The people who arrange marriages are biased too, they tend to care more about the family's honor/reputation that their childrens' personal happiness. So when marriage stopped being a political thing, arranged marriages no longer make sense (although I'm pretty sure even in the West, the true elites pretty much have arranged marriages, even if they're just "strong suggestions" rather than forcing people to get married.)

@Garbage Can Lid
Yes, and?

VisualMaster
VisualMaster

@kizzmybutt
A marriage based on happiness is as fickle as that happiness.

Sir_Gallonhead
Sir_Gallonhead

@CouchChiller
I wish I lived in a society that practiced arranged marriages if only to make up for my social autism.

happy_sad
happy_sad

@BinaryMan
I have a wife in canada. She's real, she just lives very far way so you guys have never met her.

takes2long
takes2long

@VisualMaster
A marriage based on your mum is as fickle as your mum.

Boy_vs_Girl
Boy_vs_Girl

@CouchChiller
wealth stopped being intertwined with real property.

Poker_Star
Poker_Star

@askme
Why? My grandparents were married in their 20s and never once fought, only separating when he died, in his 70s.

PackManBrainlure
PackManBrainlure

@Poker_Star
never fought
This is horseshit my man. Every couple fights.

RavySnake
RavySnake

@VisualMaster
And a marriage based on propriety is as fickle as that propriety. What's your point?

Is it that marriage is stupid? Because it ought to be.

haveahappyday
haveahappyday

@CouchChiller
Why (arranged) marriages went out of favour?
They didn't, really. A large percentage (53% I think) of marriages today are arranged/forced. In the west, arranged marriages were mainly political and not really the type of matchmaking you're talking about. They fell out of favor with the decline of the landed gentry. When there was no real political or economic incentive to have the institution, it fell apart.

All in all, it was probably a good idea. Just look at India's dowry system.

why not just let more competent people to lend them a helping hand in a such complicated and important matter?
I don't see any reason why the type of matchmaking you're talking about should be considered bad, although you're not really describing arranged marriages in general, you're describing matchmaking. It's actually practiced in a lot of (particularly Orthodox Jewish) communities across the West.

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