Stupid shit you heard in history class

>It was illegal to believe that the Earth was round
>I thought Hitler was executed!

Listen brothers.

The earth is not a ball to which we are glued by the mystical force of "gravity", no.

The earth is flat, just as the ancient peoples believed. Heaven is above you, hell is below you.

The devil first spread the idea of a ball earth revolving around a ball sun in the ancient Babylonian and Egyptian mystery schools. These teachings were passed down to Pythagoras. They were handed down the ages to the occult mystery schools of the European Renaissance, who adopted them as their own. Then the occultists Copernicus, Kepler, Bruno, Newton, published the idea and started the "Copernican revolution".

The ancient Hermetic principle is "As Above, So Below". This has many applications. One of them is this: what people believe about the heavens above them, well determine what they believe about the earth below them. In other words, how they interpret the sky will correspond with how they interpret their own lives. Our materialist society would be impossible without a materialist cosmology to justify it. A mechanistic Newtonian cosmology justifies a mechanistic view of human life, a mechanistic politics, sociology, and economics. It sounds like a joke, but the idea that the stars are giant balls of gas reflects the modern obsession with fossil fuels / material goods in general. Copernicus wasn't going for a mechanistic religion, by the way; he was a Pythagorean and Heliolator, and hoped that the belief that the sun was at the center of the universe would usher in a return to a sun-worshipping priesthood like those of ancient societies.

The reason why the Devil spreads the idea of the ball earth is that it totally overturns mans relationship to the world. Instead of man being a spiritual being with heaven above him and hell below him; instead he stands on a ball where there are infinitely many ups and downs, where heaven isn't "above" but only "outside" the earth - moral and epistemological relativism, infinitely many points of view.

The Ottomans were tolerant people

You don't even deserve a good picture.

>anything i dislike is le fish meme
Your heretical ideology will pass.

have a terrible stock image instead

Back to /r/eddit please. Here, we don't submit to such obvious lies.

Some chick in class asked a retarded question about WW2 and I still remember spazzing out in my seat like an autist
>What was Germany doing in North Africa?
Like why were they there?!?!
She didn't understand regardless of how the teacher explained

Things teachers actually said
>the meme that Poles only had cavalry against Germany in WWII
(this was actually said in a positive way, in the sense that Poles were that brave and hardcore)
>Basques are Celts
>Conquistadors defeated the Incas and "Mayans" on their own because of firearms, no mention of their native allies
>Galileo was persecuted only because of his research and the Catholic Church believed at that time that the world was flat
(this was said by the music teacher when talking about the Renaissance)

>The Ottomans won against Europe in WW1
>Rome fell because it adopted christianity
>Germans won WW1 and then lost it in WW2
>Whites made raiding parties to capture slaves
>Jet Planes was invented 20 years ago
>Tesla has perfected a free energy machine

>"NAZI" MADE BUTTONS FROM JEWISH BONES, AND SOAP FROM JEWISH BODYFAT.

The Horizon.

>Whites made raiding parties to capture slaves

How is that false?

>WW2 endeded because Hitler didn't get reelected

African slaves were brought from markets after being captured/enslaved by other Africans. The idea of gangs of white pirates running around Africa with giant nets, scooping up random people and dragging them off, is nonsense.

Didn't both happen?

>teacher mentions Prussia
>dumb bitch says "UM it's pronounced Russia"

If it did it was rare. The average slaves first encounter with Europeans would be in a market.

>Other countries envied Polish-Lithuanian Commonwealths' muh democracy and freedom

That's actually a good question, though. I didn't know for the longest time until a professor explained it for my class.

What did she have difficulty understanding?

A lot of stuff in this thread is understandable or at the very least believable.

This is just downright absolutely stupid.

We were talking about ancient Egypt and a girl asked very surprised if there were people still living there and if there were, were they living in the pyramids?

TL:DR
girl think that egypt is inhabited and when she knows the truth thinks they live in the pyramids

Not that stupid at all for someone who isn't interested in history

this was actually educational for me, even though it in obvious jest/bait.

fuck, if Veeky Forums featured boards for all subjects that just featured educational material in posts, I'd have been valid victorian. But I didn't graduate and work retail. Ho hum

One dude called them "Them Russians with a P"

>Japan is in South America

>What did she have difficulty understanding?
Understanding that Libya was Axis territory

The blacks did the raiding and capturing, whites just bought them.

No. "Roots" is not at all historically accurate.

>Was it after the Opium War that Mao took over?
Makes me cringe to this very day

>talking about seigneurial rights in the ancien regime
>why couldnt peasants kill rabbis sir?

Not at all unreasonable for a layman

Our 5th grade teacher taught us that they burnt Galileo's eyes.

>It was illegal to believe that the Earth was round
what is the best argument against this? I hear it all the time but i know its not true

Some girl thought that the US spends 50% of its GDP on the military. This was a college course.

The fact that Europeans knew the world was round 800 years before the middle ages started.

There are idiots who think gdp = government spending = discretionary spending.

Military spending is indeed half of discretionary spending, but those false equivalences are so fucking annoying.

>Is the king still alive?
We were talking about the American Revolution. She really asked if King George III was still alive.
>teacher laughs at her and says no

>The tsar was a communist right?

This was after studying the 1917 revolution for six months.

I mean, he was after.

>Here, we don't submit to such obvious lies.
Mate have your first (You) from me, because you made me chuckle. Now go back to praying or you'll go to hell and suffer an eternity for fraternizing with heretics.

God damn listening to the fucking dumbasses in my high school history class was painful.
> Constant "le dont invade russia" memes
> "Has the US ever been in a war?"
> Edgelords that constantly spout pseudofacts about Nazi Germany
> People pinning the Great Depression entirely on Hoover not doing enough
> No one has even heard of the Holy Roman Empire or Prussia

You forgot lampshades made out of human skin. That one is a classic. There's also the opposite where I had someone trying to explain that Mengele didn't actually do the experiments he did.

>Hoover not doing enough
FDR literally just took what Hoover did and expanded it. FDR's own economists even said so.

>>Rome fell because it adopted christianity
>>Whites made raiding parties to capture slaves
These are both true.

>Hitler hated Jews because he was jealous of them
>Napoleon was an angry manlet
>Russia had atomic bombs before America

>>Russia had atomic bombs before America
Wut?

I heard this in high school and immediately knew it was wrong but too autistic to retort
>I-it's wrong though
>No it isn't!
>Uh...

>everyone without blond hair and blue eyes stand up
>HITLER WOULD HAVE KILLED YOU!

>napoleon was an angry manlet

Is this serious?

You are pulling this shit out of your ass.

>did they wanna draft Muhammad Ali because he was the best boxer and could beat up the Vietnams

Talking about tenements in the north and how shitty and cold they got
>why couldn't the black people just huddle in the window because black absorbs heat from the sun

>what does biblical mean

>the war of 1812 was when Napoleon invaded the USA and burned the white house

>why didn't George Washington stop the civil war

no joke was taught all of these things
>hitler killed himself because he found out he was a jew
>Native americans did not have war
>no one though the earth was round until columbus
>0 people accused by mccarthy were guilty
>nazism and communism are the complete opposite on the political spectrum
>beijing is in southern china
not history related but...
>clouds don't move the earth just spins under them creating the illusion that they move
seriously though grade school and even some colleges have teachers with 0 qualification or interest

the teacher asked this chinese guy in our class whether he heard anything about mao tse tung at home
>he was a very nice person
>he helped the chinese and was benefitial to china

well

Well, he was a manlet and I suppose he must've been mad at some point. He apparently had an average sized knob, though.

Yeah my friend's gf is Chinese and though I've never talked to her about recent Chinese history (I don't think she particularly cares or thinks about it much) I would be pretty skeptical about what she had to say. Except for her dislike of the Japanese which is pretty understandable imo

>be born a manlet
>not even fortunate enough to be a tripod too

>Polish airforce was completely destroyed on the first day, on the ground too
>the French were pushovers, Wehrmacht was vastly superior

>french tanks had more reverse gears

"The Poles charged at German tanks with their lances!" is another one that makes me reee.

>Italy lost Corsica after WWII defeat

Do people actually believe this one? It's not like people in 1939 didn't know what a tank was

>teacher is presenting a powerpoint about the civil war
>for some reason decided that the background of the powerpoint slides should be the Confederate flag
>black kid said something along the lines of "that's a pretty cool flag"
>other students in the class have to explain to him what that flag is

This isn't Veeky Forums related, but that same black kid got in another funny conversation with the stoner kid.
>stoner kid mentions Jimmy Hendrix
>black kid asks who that is
>stoner says "he's like the greatest guitarist ever"
>black kid responds "really? I thought that would've been Stevie Wonder"

>0 people accused by mccarthy were guilty
?????
Isn't this true? I thought a couple people were later found out to be spies but none of his investigations caught anyone

...

>tfw it used to bother me that they were called World Wars because I thought it only happened in Europe and the Pacific ocean

Then I went to college and my history classes weren't shit.

>Rome fell because it adopted christianity
I hear this argument a lot. I don't really know how to argue against it. I usually just say "it was more likely that the barbarians literally invaded the Roman Empire," but then they say something about the Christians being really intolerant, and destroying national unity.

>Hitler killed anyone with brown hair or brown eyes

>Do people actually believe this one?
You've never talked to an American, have you?

Are burger high schools really this shit? I understand that it depends on state and whatnot, but on average?
We were taught literally every front (excluding more obscure ones like Burma campaign etc)

He's not wrong

>absolute worst human being in one of my history classes
>short, chubby, greasy hair, bad acne, glasses, highschool student who made it into a college level class
>pronounces "Mexica" as "Mechicha"
>pronounces "France" as "Fronse"
>I know the latter is technically correct, but he pronounces every fucking term as pretentiously as he can
>constantly argues with professor
>always plays "devils advocate"
>is a massive faggot
>in class debate about conquest of mexico
>his whole argument is pseudofact, he's a massive dick to the opposing team.
>he thinks spanish technology didnt give them an advantage over the Aztecs
>believes wholly in environmental determinism, refuses to acknowledge the role of religion, culture, etc. In world history
>worst human being I have come into contact with in my entire life.
>I know and have been friends with some pedos, coke addicts, drug dealers, and sexual predators

Not a single thing in here is understandable, unless you maybe grew up in the 60's

>>black kid said something along the lines of "that's a pretty cool flag"
I like that kid, he's innocent and hasn't been corrupted by racial bias and ignorance.

Was he also a Wehraboo pro?

I saw someone on /v/ saying the new AssCreed is inaccurate because it depicts ancient Egypt as populated. He thought it should be just a few people in the desert with pyramids in the background.

Images of Polish cavalry getting in range for a grenade attack were utilized for propaganda purposes to depict resistance to the blitz as futile. Americans are always ready to believe poles are stupid.

More stories.

>the english caused the irish famine

Whites were the only ones who had slaves.

Christians attacked Muslims for no reason.

The Haga Sofia is a pinnacle of Muslim/Turkish architecture.

But that's true you fucking britbong apologist

>Africans treated their slaves better than whites
>Britain invaded Greece in WW2 to stop the Holocaust (a Greek Holocaust survivor speaking to my class said that)

I am an American

Tell us about your other friends

Not him but I remember this exact thing happening in my middle school history class.

>checking a gap filling grammar exercise
>the text is about Columbus
>there is a gap where the verb goes
>a put in "discovered" in a sentence "Having ____ America, Columbus (...)"
>the teacher says it is racist since there were people in America before 1492, thus "reached" is a better option
>she eventually accepts "discovered" as well because it is gramatically correct

Oh yeah another good one

>the Age of Exploration should be known as the Age of Exploitation

t. some 40 year old hippie bitch who got knocked up by a fellow history teacher and had to take the rest of the year off

I'm sorry user, but most Americans I've spoken were either not intelligent or so arrogant they wouldn't say they were wrong. However, that was rude of me to say that all Americans acted like that.
Fucking hate it when people say that shit. If it was on the other foot, they would of done the same fucking things we did.

I literally said that to her face during class and brought up the fact that thousands of Natives had fought under the Spanish banner to bring down the Aztec Empire. She just ignored me.

user, you do know that at least half of all the people on this website are Americans, right? Both the smart and the dumb?
You're the arrogant one, constantly insulting Americans just because we have vocal idiots. If your country was as relevant, your idiots would get just as much exposure, and everyone would think your nation was a nation of idiots.

>le american education

>constantly insulting Americans just because we have vocal idiots.
I didn't constantly insult your countrymen though. Have you been on /int/ for to long.

This is fairly common in American schools. I remember it.

>trust no one, not even yourself

I'm not really sure what his historical "specialty" is. I dont hate myself enough to ask him. He probably has all the german tanks memorized and shit. He's autistic as fuck.

>he starts arguing with the professor about the haitian revolution for no god damn reason
>professor is brilliant, I've talked with her quite a bit, latin america is her specialty
>he says the haitians never actually achieved independence and were still part of the french empire after the revolution
>she says no, everyone in the room wants the conversation to end
>after class he comes up to her and I, starts talking about how french political figures still influenced haitian politics after the revolution, therefore still in the empire
>the two of us try to explain to this chubby gollum looking fuck that thats not how empires work.
>can see the confusion and indignation on his face, he digs an even deeper trench and keeps arguing.
>I bring up the american revolution, talk about the fact that the US secured political independence from the brits, left the empire even though british loyalists still played a significant role in our government afterwards.
>he doesnt understand the connection I was making. "B-but, there were no british loyalists in the US after the revolution! They all left for canada!"
>what.jpg
>Try telling him thats not accurate, so does professor. Halfway through my sentence, he just walks out of the fucking room.

I want him to be deported to Syria.

Holy shit I managed to find her dox after not even ten minutes of searching on google.

Should I call my old teacher and give her a piece of my mind?

The natives lost, why do people get so butthurt about it

I know it's insensitive, but is my mentality actually wrong? Do people not realize how many cultural assimilations/dominations and even genocides have happened over time?

One is a drug dealer who makes edibles and sells hella kush. He has done coke, crack, meth, LSD, adderol, and plans to do heroin in the near future. He's a pretty rad dude. We dropped acid together.

Another is a norwegian who kneecapped his stepdad with a hammer, browses /int and /pol while wearing feety pajamas. He used to call his stepdad "bitch tits". He's out of his fucking mind which is great.

A friend of mine from highschool was an open pedo, he liked diddling himself to pictures of young girls, and one time he took pictures of my friends dicks while they were sleeping. Not sure what happened to him. Maybe prison?

I have weird fucking friends dude. Some are alcoholics, others are drug addicts, heavy smokers, NEETS, etc. I've even met a couple of rapists.

Its odd to say, but I get along with them pretty decently.

Kek, have you gone through World War 1 yet or are you primarily focusing on social/politicals situations in the Americas?

>Maybe prison?

Hopefully

>I've even met a couple of rapists.

The "she was only 17" kind or the "hold 'em down" kind?

Please tell me you're the most normal of the lot

>tldr half as long as post
gb2reddit

This was just a latin america / colonialism class. Thank fuck we were spared from his vast knowledge about early modern history. He's also a philosopher type.

Imagine the most repulsive form of intellectual imaginable asking a classroom full of people something along the lines of "um, have you read (insert kant, nietzche, marx, etc.) before? It will cast a light upon this subject."

College level rapists. One of the campus drug dealers "allegedly" slips things into people drinks. He's bi so "allegedly" he's tried this with both girls and guys. I dunno how many times he's actually fucked someone while they're out though. He's definitely a scumbag, and an edgy, guy fawkes mask wearing deepwebber, so he has plentiful access to date rape drugs.

Another one who just graduated was an attractive dude with a god complex. I honestly think that he was a psychopath, or maybe a sociopath, simply because of how manipulative he was around girls. He tried to fuck one of my friends when she was wasted out of her mind and he was totally sober. Again, I have no proof that he ever raped anyone, but I know he was capable of doing that sort of shit.

I'm probably not a normal person, then again most people who use this site aren't. I'm a bit fucked mentally because my dad put a bullet through his head when I was 5, so I have some depressive tendencies and substance abuse issues. Not like I'm bragging, but more and more I'm beginning to think that I'm slightly psychotic. It probably didnt help that my future stepdad shot himself in the head too. I've known too many people who have offed themselves to be normal, 5 in total. Normal is boring anyways.

Dante's Divine Comedy is a good example of a round world being described in the Middle Ages. The Purgatory is said to be on the opposite hemisfere of Jerusalem. Of course Dante took inspiration from recognized past philosopers for the "geography" of the afterlife, and of course if a round earth was heresy he would have been condemned for it, which he wasnt.

OP here. I actually brought it up as an example but still didn't believe it.