ITT: lifting advice you'd give yourself if you could go back in time

>you're doing it wrong
>now that you know how to lift, don't ever stop
>no it will not get you laid it only opens the door

eat eat eat liftan liftan liftan liftan liftan liftan liftan liftan liftan liftan liftan liftan liftan liftan liftan liftan liftan liftan liftan liftan liftan liftan liftan liftan liftan liftan liftan liftan liftan liftan liftan liftan liftan liftan liftan eat eat eat liftan liftan liftan liftan

Put the fucking lotion in the basket!

Stop fucking around so much. Eat enough. Sleep more. Jack off less. Give less of a fuck about what people think of you. Don't fight Ed.

And most importantly,
>don't let her go ;_;

>Stop playing games god dang whats wrong with u

Goooooooodbye horses.

narrow stance with your feet straight will use more quads, wide stance with your feet out will use more glutes. My glutes are big and my quads are shit so I use the former

Don't lift, do bodyweight excersized/isometrics and yoga instead.

thanks bruh

...

Don't fall in love with her, it will hurt later, a lot.

>Don't use the reason that you're lifting to build endurance for swimming by lifting low weight, high reps, just get bigger and stronger and crush everybody

Excellent. Ty

>start roiding right now and dont waste your time 3 years as a natty.

Start lifting NOW you lazy shit

I'd just convince my 15 year old self starting strength and make me read through it all. I really wanted to lift back then but I had no clue what I was doing and was getting 0 results so I quit. It took eight years before I stumbled across something half resembling a real program.

>Meat is murder
>Replace all protein sources with plant based proteins like legumes, chickpeas, lentils and hemp.
>Cotton industry is racist, only buy hemp products
>Weight lifting for hypertrophy is a waste of time, humans 1000 years ago didn't need it, so start doing Calisthenics!

Don't do SS.

Don't eat like shit and make sure to stretch

Stretch you fucking retard
You're going to tear your shoulder a bunch of times and it's going to set you back like crazy so fucking stretch

Doing ss is the best training choice I've ever done.

Don't bulk like a retard you stupid fat cunt.

lotion your whole body because you're gonna have huge stretch marks. inside of elbow, shoulders, chest.

learn to swim because jogging will destroy your knees. if you must, learn how to strengthen your knees or use the elliptical until you get to a weight you can run safely with.

stick to the fundamentals and master them. meal prep, proper form, progressive overload, frequency/intensity/volume pick 2.
stop eating rice. carbs only from oats, cheerios, and potatoes.

you're too fat to notice this but stop working your obliques because you will become fridge mode with zero taper. it doesn't look nice at all.

you got facial aesthetics of a god. don't waste years of easy pussy in college because you're too lazy to put in the hard work.

Recovery is important. Go to bed early.

don't listen his lies

don't start

Do SS for 6 months, then switch to PPL and eat as much as you possibly can
I still can't believe I was on the same shitty bro split for a year, since noob gains deceived me into thinking that it's an effective program

fixed the photo for u op

To myself 4 years ago: Do not bulk too quickly, you'll just gain a load of fat and waste time later on

To myself 2 years ago: Do not cut too quickly, you'll just lose a load of muscle and waste time later on, and end up causing permanent damage to your stomach

why?

cause I only lifted out of insecurity and for aesthetic reasons, it didn't improve health at all and only improved happiness on a fragile superficial level.

>D'ont fight Ed.

wtf

why?

Eat more

Quit being a bitch about eating more.

I'd fuck her either way. Not as though I will be looking at her face tbqh

>Jack off less
hits home brah

>>/reddit/

Don't get off a 3 day/week full body after noob gains, stay on it forever. Do not ever switch to PPL or Upper/Lower or a brosplit, just stick with full body 3 times a week.

That's what I'd tell me 2nd year self, my 3rd year self and my 4th year self.

5th year now and im finally back on full-body 3/day a week. Wish I had stuck with it the entire time instead of fucking about on splits 4-5-6 days a week.

>START.FUCKING.COUNTING.CALORIES.

Also,

> Squat ATG.
> Stop this cardio faggotry at fucking once.

Great advice. Actually gonna take this post with me

ignore powerlifting programs, do 1 big compound and follow with isolations

Ignore iifym and focus on eating healthy

do cardio every day

for isolations focus on squeezing the muscle not just banging out the reps

3 years ago: Stay in the gym consistently, your health is more important than a little extra money.

Eat more.
Always check your form to make sure it's good.
You'll have bad days where you make no progress. You'll have points where you have to deload. Just keep at it.

Mine is pretty specific to my health stuff, so I don't intend on others to take it.

You're going to cough. Your lungs are always going to be shit, no matter what you do, so just get out there. Don't wait for yourself to get fully better from something, you're just hurting your own recovery by trying to get some comfort. We don't lift for comfort. We don't run or swim for comfort.

Speaking of running and swimming, cardio especially works against us. It's almost antithetical for our body's malfunctions. You just need to do it. If you need to ease up, do it. If you need to take the incomplete on the workout schedule, so be it. But at least try because it can only make you better than not doing it.

Don't bother with fasting. I know you see all the scientific benefits laid out in a handful of studies, but it doesn't work for you. Your body needs more energy than most, and when you work it, you need it on hand, not at the tail end of exertion.

Don't do power cleans until you find a place that has bumper plates. You wind up trying to nurse the weight down at every rep to not draw attention to yourself, and that's part of what will get you hurt. Do rows until you find the bumpers.

Don't go to the gym that mom tells you about. They're completely ill-equipped for what you need, in terms of both actual equipment and the community. You're wanting something much greater than the old folks who go in there to try and stave off death by walking for 20 minutes.

I know you dislike leftovers, but you need to start making more food in advance. It's too easy for you to miss out on your nutrition due to time constraints, and you don't want to replace it with spur of the moment fast food. Again, your body needs more than most, so you need to do everything you can to get it. And do not worry about gaining too much fat. You simply won't. You're body isn't like others, it burns off much more energy.

Find out when the yoga classes are at the campus gym, and go to them.

This is going to go against most internet broscientists but fuck it, get a GOOD trainer. Not some faggot at 24 Hour Fitness who doesn't know anything, but a legit trainer who can show you proper form and will smoke you a lot harder than you would normally go.

That, and seriously, pay attention to your diet.

checked

this isn't /b/ faggot

Nothing in life matters, stop trying so damn hard and learn to let go.

Fall for the squats and oats meme because sprints and oats will only lead to you keeping yourself lean for better times when size is the goal.
Lift with your roommate when you get off of work instead of waiting until deployment.
Don't stop working shoulders and biceps, you're going to abandon accessory lifts when you start OLY/PL and wind up looking disproportionate.
Listen to your own research and not the shills.
Don't stop doing yoga and meditation, the scale is going to play tricks with your mind that really fuck you up.
Eat more, the times you were eating until you threw up were the swolest times of your life.
HYPERTROPHY
You're going to get some temporary brains damage at the pool one day, recognize it before it's too late.
Don't get upset with her at the gym, it's not going to help her cardio
Setting a gym record will do more harm than good.
Stop beating off so much, stop looking at porn and fuck your wife.
The rest of the guys look to you for guidance even though they don't say it. Don't let a few people fall behind.
His back is really fucked up, don't encourage him.
The doctor doesn't know shit about lifting.
Use the steroids wisely, you're going to regret not making the most of them.
Finish your food.

> SL

This is the only appropriate answer.

Correction...

This, is the only correct answer.

checked

Thanks, me too.

dont fall for the dirty bulk meme
fuck doing ss with your friends just start doing a routine you like on your own schedule instead of missing workouts randomly because coordinating times is a pain in the ass and sometimes they just wont pick up their phones

fucking checked

Do squats you dumb motherfucker.

Don't cut
Don't go to the bridge
Dont jump in front of that car
Go to the day treatment instead of the after school group therapy
Don't quit wrestling
Don't talk to that girl anymore
You're enough
Just stay with your true friends
Don't do anymore drugs
Please stop hurting your family
[spoiler] I know it hurts, but stop doing this to yourself your dad loves you man Rieley and Megan and Christian love you don't leave [/spoiler]

>KILL YOURSELF MAN

post routine plz

Stick to your cut. Eat big and lift hard when the time is right.

Then id also teach proper form on the big three and also pullups and dips.

Who's ed?

Checkers

Why did you let her go user?

/thread

>don't fall for the dirty bulk meme
THIS
you waste so much time have to cut after and have to deal with gradually getting fatter and less aesthetic even though you're working out.
If you're serious about this count calories from the start and save a lot of time and disappointment
Also checked mate good one

third for dirty bulk is a meme

Just ask your crush out, seventh grade doesn't come again.

sauce

Actually look up which muscles groups the exercise should be working and fix your fucking form if you aren't feeling them.

Lift chest way fucking more. You look like a goddamn clown with a body that huge and a tiny ass chest.

And it's one of the muscles chicks get wet on.

Start a year earlier and start off with cutting because you'll still make gains.

I just started lifting (actually signed up to a gym a few days ago) and came into this thread looking for proper advice, but nope, it's all fucking shit.

This is great advice that I only figured out 3 years into lifting

drop the split
train groups twice a week

..and you let her go

...

form is king. if you can't lift it with proper form, it's too heavy.

this

+

do not neglect stretching you stupid fucker

>look into the fucking mirror, look at your fucking face
>measure your dick, now go look up statistics on the subject, there's a reason your dad's memeing about condoms being insufferable
>eat healthy, it takes a month to get used to
>switch to a normie school, social gains > "education"

and if you haven't figured it out yet, the chronic pain is not normal at all you dumb fuck, go get yourself checked

stop eating chocolate while you cut

Start with 5/3/1

Skip out on powerlifting and stick with Olympic style lifting.

checkin

Don't believe the officer, she knows the gun is not real, they won't help you. Rush them until they're empty.

Don't raise your wifes son.

it's really supposed to be a lying squat in terms of angles and positioning. so it might be true what he's saying, i'd just try to copy my squat. back angle is really important too

You can never go back. Stop wishing for yesterday.

I'm pretty sure I know this bitch.

Start slow, progress slow, don't overdo it.
You don't need to go to gym every day.

Fucked up my shoulder by overuse. Took me months of therapy to fix it and still have problems.