We are not a gym, we are planet fitness

A squadron of Lunk Lads come out of the guard room hauling their AR-15s and throw you out of Planet Fitness. Three strikes and you are banned from using planet fitness ever again.

I need a name I want to work here too. If it raises my chances I want to work.

So user, what happens when the Lunk Alarm is hit?
Do you get kicked out?
Do you look at the fatties while doing some sick 60b reverse curls and hang your tongue out?
Do you continue with your workout?
Can I hit the Lunk Alarm on fat women who are causing distractions?

This has inspired me to run a planet fitness that actually makes pizza
and delivers

>Mine orders dominos and i easily down a medium pie myself

that actually sounds fantastic

>The link alarm goes off
>You continue on
>It keeps going off
>nobody knows what's going on
>team members sit at there desk
>just pressing the button
It keeps going til someone stops, but at the pf I went to they do jack shit they just keep pressing it.

For the memes

>Lunk Alarm merely exists to annoy others

Do you think the staff would hit it on purpose sometimes to fuck with people?

Did it ever go off and you visibly seen who pushed the button and was it a horribly out of shape person?

They asked me why am i using the 42.5 and swinging it around hazardously and i had an excuse. There was a guy who was doing super sets with every dumbell from 5 pounds to 40 at his bench. The cables were taken too. The guy from the front desk went up to the guy and his pool of dumbbells and asked him what is he doing and if i can get the lighter db to workout safer. He said hes almost done and he actually got threatened to get kicked out. He got upset and yelled hes never coming back. It was fun trigerring it though, loud as fuck.

>start your own gym
>install a similar alarm
>hit it anytime someone hits a bad ass lift as a victory call

Remember those "fun zone" places that were around when we were kids? Those hybrid arcades, playplaces, minigolf, gokart, animatronic singing animal, pizza places? Planet Fitness is like the adult version of that.

Planet Fitness exists solely so fat people can have a gym membership thing on their keychains. So they can feel better about themselves, and so other people can know that they go to a gym

They're just occasional buffets with a lot of cardio machines

No, it's not
because if PF had pizza and arcades and gokarts it would be sickest place ever
The only way it could be better is if it allowed heavy weights and had condos on top so I could live there forever

I'm not sure of others but I know it's not cuz of grunting or slamming the weights. I've seen people drop shit on accident when it's dead quiet and it doesn't make a sound. But the minute someone actually tries to go hard without even grunting it will go off.

This would actually be amazing if you were on a bulk. However, PF discourages serious lifters and focuses on fatties, skellingtons, so I highly doubt there's going to be any real beasts bulking on Pizza and Pie in there.

>grunting sets it off
so it's a circuit training or aerobic gym at most.

Why can't we just leave the normies alone, hmm?

It's identical to any other gym, except a siren goes off when you try to pick up heavy things.

indeed

WEEEOO

Why is FREE PIZZA such a massive meme about PF? They give out free bagels just as frequently. No one ever eats the free pizza. I walked out with a full pizza box one time. I couldn't go through with eating it though. Maybe if it was Pizza Hut.

TFW planning on joining pf after my cut ends
TFW might get to bulk on free pizza like chad

I'll make it guys

(checked)
You just gave me a sweet idea.

Adult amusement park/gym hybrid.

With strippers.

And a full bar.

Is it even legal to install a bar in your gym?

Because that sounds sick.

Google searched
thirstyfitness.com/2015/02/28/gyms-that-serve-5-alcohol-friendly-gyms-across-the-country/
They exist
why are there not more of these
like I just want to give them all my money

Sounds amazing, would definitely go.

>Lifting
>While drunk

What could possibly go wrong?

>drinking out of a gallon water jug
THE ABSOLUTE HORROR

It literally is not a gym, and that's their business model

The whole place is designed more as a club and spa with a bunch of ellipticals and a few weights. Believe it or not, they DO NOT want people to work out there else they'd go bankrupt from maintenance costs, which is why they do everything they can to alienate lifters.

I'm thinking about making the name The Bar with some kind of logo that makes it obvious it's a gym.

The bar would be along the wall when you walk in with the main gym on the right. $30 a month and you get one complimentary drink each month. Bar is open from 7pm-4am, gym is 24/7. Vending machine serves good beers and pre-made mixed drinks when the bar is closed.

I am going to be fucking rich brahs.

I asked for it before in another PF thread, but does anyone have the pasta where the guy reviews PF as if it were a restaurant? It's like a mock-Yelp review where he talks about the bagels and pizza and the bizarre dining room which is actually just fitness machines.

the bar gyms in question do it post class, so as to ensure that patrons are drinking after exercise
This idea wouldn't have the luxury of such, of course. Best one could do is have gym staff go around with breathalyzers and revoke the membership of anyone caught actually drunk.

But is it actually illegal to let people work out drunk or can you just get them to sign a waiver with their membership?

...

You are going to get sued into the ground when some drunk asshole breaks his back trying to deadlift the world.

it's probably bad for business if multiple patrons get guillotined on the bench

>no barbells
>no compound lifts
>dumbbells that only go up to 50
>identical to any other gym

>well sir if you carefully read paragraph 28 line 4 you should know that I am not responsible for any deaths or injuries either physical or emotional that may occur due to your action or inaction or use of alcoholic services provided please talk to my lawyer Moishe Shekelwitzoberg
Anyway it would be my job to make sure they didn't do anything to stupid.

Is there actually an alarm that goes off every time this happens?

Kinda want to watch Toy Story now

If you jump up and then down the alarm goes off.

It's like a seismic alarm.

Are you allowed as much pizza as you want?

Here OP fixed that pic for you

the hand is not fat enough
triggered

Fucking do it yourself then faggot all I have is goddamned mspaint

Been going to PF for a year and a half. I'd bet I look better than 90% of you fuckers. No pump. No roids (obviously).

>I see what you did there

>this
npr.org/sections/money/2014/12/17/371463435/episode-590-the-planet-money-workout

>judgement free zone
>unless you actually want to push yourself and move heavy things from A to B and back to A

Planet Fitness in burgerland must be more cucked. In Australia its a shit tier franchise but it still has barbells and lets you do whatever lifts and doesn't do that lunk alarm crap.

It's too european

You get a tiny boner on purpose for this picture?