>Bitch coming over to "have me cook for her" >Turn heater to 88° >Damn it's hot in here >She starts taking off her clothes and gets into a tank top >I get shirtless >Keep sexy conversation going for a while >I don't actually know how to cook >Heat up my plastic tupperware with chicken rice and broccoli and dump it on a plate >She looks disappointed but acts polite >Half an hour later she excuses herself that she has to leave because she's got work early in the morning
I think I've fucked up.
David Fisher
hahahaha
Logan Cook
you're getting there
Jaxon Bell
You are literally me
Samuel Foster
use the system (D.E.N.N.I.S)
Jason Morales
thanks for the laugh user.
William Taylor
Should have learned how to cook a normal meal and she'd have been all over you man.
Jayden Davis
Pasta. Easy as fuck and no one complains except the "gluten-free" retards. If you're using jar sauce dump it in a pot and simmer it to make it seem like you're actually doing something.
Connor Perez
>Falling for: muh wife/mommy will cook for me meme Any "man" who can't cook for himself at 18 is destined to cuckoldry
Chase Smith
Learn how to make pizza
It's not that hard, impresses people because they think it is, and is kind of an activity
Jackson Moore
This. If you don't even know how to cook eggs any style, it's a bad sign.
Tyler Bell
i know how to cook you'r mom's eggs
with my DICK
Noah Turner
just text her and tell her that you love her
she might come back
Austin Sullivan
Don't forget to be polite and say please come back
Owen Thompson
>Learn how to make pizza This.
The ingredients are cheap, even if you spend extra on nice ingredients. You can actually pick up ready made dough for really cheap. Once you learn how to roll the crust, everything is as easy as tossing in the ingredients.
You'll never buy a pizza from the Hut or Dominos.
Charles Russell
user could maybe say "please return"
Nathan Jones
If you don't make your own dough then its not really making pizza to me.
Connor Thompson
>If you don't make your own dough then its not really making pizza to me *grabs by throat*
Back the fuck off!?
Bentley Gray
>tupperware dinner for a date
This is why I go on Veeky Forums, I feel a little down about my spergyness and get a pick me up
Angel Bennett
You're supposed to spill your drink on her, then offer her on of your xl stringers as a temporary replacment.
Lincoln Wilson
Veeky Forums: Where the guys are great chefs, lift tons, have tons of friends, all have tons of sex or steady girlfriends, and are all engineers/programmers making 100k a year
Blake Foster
Just teleport behind me. Maybe you'll learn how to mix sugar flour salt yeast and oil
Cameron Hall
Hahahaha holy shit. I just bacon wrapped and slow cooked a deer heart last weekend for a date and it went great. Got called a "real man" Pic related is the deer
Oliver Harris
...
Juan Allen
You're looking at this the wrong way
you saw a post by a great chef, another by a guy who is strong as fuck, another buy a charismatic dude with lots of friends, another posted by a creepy PUA who regularly slays, and found a post by a programmer who makes 100k a year, then you somehow arrived at the conclusion that these are all the same person
Henry Brown
nothing personal, kid
Jayden Adams
*smirks and flicks cigarette*
Heh, I don't have time for this shit
Carter Mitchell
Got a light?
Easton Parker
*turns on laser and points it at your face*
yeah. right here
*shoots laser through your head*
heh.
Mason Johnson
I turn opaque
Brandon Garcia
It's called anecdotal evidence. If you want to see that type of bullshit taken to the extreme, visit /pol/. If you find you agree with the prevailing opinions on /pol/, then boom--you're looking at a great opportunity to reconsider your worldview.
Tyler Adams
Totes magotes broski
Elijah Diaz
There is plenty of anecdotal evidence here to suggest that your average Veeky Forumsizen is a short, bald, virgin who lifts 60 lbs. and lives with his mom, as well
Colton Wilson
>bacon wrapped
I want this meme to die, but it sounds like you had fun on a weekend I spent by myself so we'll call it a draw.
Kevin Powell
That's the thing about anecdotal evidence, baby. It's everywhere you look.
Robert Watson
Really? I find it helps enhance game meat flavors and keeps some moisture in when baking and slow cooking. Ive never gone to a culinary school but ive been cooking for myself since i was about 13
Jose Murphy
Also sweet quads and sorry you spent it alone user
Robert Hall
Why would you agree to this if you don't know how to cook
Dominic White
This man speaks da tru tru Can't tell you how many times bitches get juicy when I offer to cook them something fancy.
Good lul OP. I want to believe.
Mason Murphy
something fancy like what?
Gavin Reyes
This is a great quote and I hope I remember it to use it in conversation teebeeh fAm
Liam Rivera
Me except I can actually cook and get the girls
Logan Allen
You realize that bacon wrapping is a common practice for pieces of meat that don't have much flavor and/or much fat to keep it moist, right? >pic related
Jason White
I'm sure the amount of salt that most bacon has simply from the curing process make a bit of difference too
Tyler Campbell
You went hot when you should have went cold. Suggest a movie, throw a blanket on, tell her to get close, and then go from there hombre.
Or use the same thing again but warn she shouldn't leave because of the implication...
Nathaniel Bennett
>>I don't actually know how to cook >>Heat up my plastic tupperware with chicken rice and broccoli and dump it on a plate
All you had to do was cook the chicken broccoli and rice in front of her you sperg. Also, like 76 degrees will get her down to a tanktop. What is she going to think if she sees the thermostat and its set to 88?
William Williams
*holds up immaculately polished katana reflecting the laser beam into your eyes, blinding you*
*teleports behind*
>heh... nothing personnel... kid
*performs the hidden katana art of boku san ryu which has no known counter*
>another day another victim
Nicholas Myers
its a hologram
Christian Parker
>pssh... you think i was aiming for the hologram?
*ceiling above you collapses burying you alive*
Elijah Diaz
Is that dog ok?
Christopher Morgan
She will know you're not actually cooking.
Jayden Rodriguez
No its dead, didnt do enough cardio so i put it down
Camden Williams
Why didn't you have sex with her?
A girl comes over shes given herself over to you symboliclly.
All you gotta do is take whats yours.
After a greeting and small chat look her in the eye, grab the back of her head and pull your faces to gether.
Or push her up against a wall or whatever.
James Thomas
Probably because you're an autistic virgin
Jackson Lee
I'd say as soon as she walked in the door he should have forced her down on her knees and slapped his cock all over her face to establish dominance
Eli Nguyen
>heating up plastic
Kevin Stewart
>she comes over >invite her to sit down >have table made in advance >whip out dick on her plate and say "tonight's big sausage night"
Works every time
Austin Campbell
Spoken like a true cuck
Blake Perez
...
Oliver Wilson
>20161127
Mason Lee
Thanks for the laugh
Sebastian Walker
Shut up loser
Henry Barnes
oh shit another bullshit post on 4chin, how can we recover from this ?!?!?
Christian Bailey
Hey I am a programmer making over 100k with a gf and a bunch of friends. Can't cook for shit though. I don't understand foodies, why not just drink a protein shake and then do anything more interesting than eating?
Kevin Garcia
why didnt you even make an effort to buy stuff to cook or look up a recipe? you literally served her leftovers.
Ayden Gutierrez
But those are all me.
Cameron Parker
*moves so fast that my aferimage becomes sentient and fights u*
"Heh, not that easy"
*Shoots schools*
"Nothing personnel, kids."
Liam King
Mac and cheese with julienned hotdogs and a garnish of Tostitos.
Easton Cruz
how do i learn to cook? plz respond
everything takes me forever and having a fridge with fresh ingredients is hard
Isaac Rogers
Just use Blue Apron.
Elijah James
I fucking love these references
Jose Hill
ask your mom for recipes and make her show it to you
Asher Gonzalez
how does it compare to chef's plate?
Adrian Taylor
not fucking Veeky Forums related, fuck off
Carson Rivera
She meant >she's wanted you to have cock for her
You stupid autist - I feel for ya brah,
Isaiah Phillips
Don't cook fucking pasta for a date lmao
Angel Myers
What if you make the pasta from scratch
David Bennett
you're making jerky right?
Kayden Baker
why does everyone's filet mignon over an inch thick?
Nicholas Robinson
this desu Tbh
Liam Nelson
Dad?
Easton Watson
>not knowing what a freezer is LMAO'ing at your life rn
Lucas Ortiz
Kek
Nicholas Rogers
What...IS that?
Josiah Sanchez
He obviously tried to
Landon Cook
I think turning the heat up to africa level had something to do with it too
Noah Gutierrez
This. If you can't cook for yourself, you can't take care of yourself. If you can't take care of yourself how can you take care of her?
Zachary Sullivan
this is thread of the year so far
Lucas Walker
why did you stick the deer to your roof? that isn't how you are meant to leave it to hang
Nathan Roberts
>this thing is allowed to roam freely among us
Asher Myers
that's w weird looking doggo
John Jones
Too hot. Should have made anything.
Fish in the oven is the easiest ticket. Just slap some sourcream and greens on it and put it in there.
Heat on 78-80
Grayson Johnson
Youtube.
Owen Sanders
im dying of laughter
Carter Stewart
And cum in her mouth because he didn't prepare an appetizer
Oliver Allen
>make mashed potatoes for staff Christmas party potluck >the next potluck we had they signed me u to make mashed potatoes again without asking me because they liked mine so much
Is this what making it feels like?
Zachary Adams
Chill out, Digiorgno
Asher Rogers
Please, my sides.
Nathan Sanchez
Fettuccine Alfredo, shrimp scampi, pasta Primavera and many more pasta options confirmed to make bitches salivate at both ends.