Hey bros. I'm probably dying, don't know why; trying to find cure frantically.. I've had maybe 8K calories over the last 48 (not joking) days since I somehow completely lost my appetite. I' d lost 40+ pounds and haven't really noticied the effects from the malnutrition but it feels like it's starting to effect me mentally and physically... Can't remember shit, confused at times, more distracted than usual, etc. Have a camera so can take pic of whatever would help you.
I'm desperate to find something that helps with my god damn, constant, 10+ year depression that has now gotten so bad that I'm fucking scared I'll end up just killing myself. I don't really want to die but I don't understand what the fuck is going on or why..
Idk, fucking frustrated and quivkly losing hope but i dont think i could an hero. Feels like I'm so alone and no one is willing to help me. this thread will probably acussing me of lynig or just shitposting.
Shit. I forgot to say what I'm on: 60mg SNRIk, 300mg Wellbutrin, for 3 weeks now and got SAM-e and Kratom a week ago for some fucking relief. No disorders besides the Deperession and Anxietty and rejection phobia. Not actually crazy; just kinda broken for now
You can't supplement a depression. What you're doing here is running away from the actual issue, trying to find an instant "cure".
Gavin Price
It took my ssri 2 months to work bro just hang in there a little longer
Landon Hernandez
I fucking know that man. I don't expect a drug to make me a totally normal, functoinal, fuffilled person. I just need help to get going because ive fucked up so bad this time idk if ill make it.
Ian Adams
2 months? Jesus christ dude what was the antidepressant? I've been on a bunch of SSRIs and haven't gotten much if anything out of them.. but I used to be able to tell they were having an effect when I started them but I don't feel them at all this time and it's fucking bad.
Julian Williams
A healthy balanced diet filled with all of your essential micronutrients and needed macro nutrients Sunlight and activity during the day Rest and Sleep at night A consistent stress free(or easily managed stress)routine during the day An exercise routine Losing weight Finding that balance of interaction with people and solitude and not maintaining relationships that are harmful St.Johns wort is also helpful
Tyler Garcia
Try to stop overthinking everything. I bet you're spending 90% of your time thinking about your life, which creates a vicious cycle. Just go with the flow and you'll feel better.
Asher Torres
I'm not laying around wallowing in my depression and feeling sorry for myself. I don't feel guilty or anything like that. I'll try harder to stop overthinking though
Lucas Taylor
Zoloft
Eli Reed
Also, try to feed and repopulate your gut bacteria. That shit have an impact in your emotions too. Im still researching it, so bear with me on this.
Kevin Cox
listen here op, the solution is always in front of us... you and only you can make this right.... if you cant sleep go for a run. It will be painfull i know but force yourself to do something like eat,run,talk..i know how much strength it took you to write this, use the same strength to do something....i had hard ocd all my life and the solution was in front of me, you have to keep fighting till the end and you will make it
Justin Smith
also dont force yourself to stop overthinking believe me, whatever bothers you start thinking about it more, force yourself to think about it...trust me it will pass
Jackson Long
get checked for lyme disease and mercury poisonning. Your gut flora might be in poor condition.
Juan Brown
Thanks bro. I'm at the fucking end of the rope like Ive never been or thought possible... feel so hopeless, alone, scared,
Kayden Myers
found out about Bones like 2 weeks ago and it's the only thing keeping me going
Fear is always the problem, face your fears....if you fear of dying you must stand tall and embrace it,say fuck it if like wants to take me now lets be it.... you will see nothing will happen ..YOU MUST FIGHT OP NOT TRYING TO RUN FROM IT
Noah Williams
1. speak to your psychiatrist about it 2. check your test levels, try test replacement therapy 3. sunlight exposure, vitamin d3, obviously more calories, especially fat.
Oliver Ross
Have you gone to the doctor? and please eat user, I know it's hard but you being malnourished and literally starving yourself is just going to make everything so much worse :(
Kevin Gray
start taking vitamin d and fish oil wake up and expose yourself to sunlight for 20 minutes asap to get your circadian rhythm on
last thing - every day when you wake up, grab a notebook and free write for three pages. i got this from The Artist's WAy by julia cameron. just write whatever comes to mind, be brutal as you want. write about your day, yesterday, tomorrow, people, things, places, etc, just leave it all on the paper. after a few weeks of this you will know yourself 1000000x better than you did before and maybe help expose the root of what's bothering you
good luck user, i'm rooting for you
Ryder Foster
You sound like you have serious depression.
I feel like meditation has a bad rep as 'hippy shit, doesn't actually do shit' but maybe that is just because that is how I felt about it every time somebody suggested it to me. People kept suggesting it though and I got to a point where suicide for the first time genuinely seemed like a possibility.
I really didn't want to kill myself and I realised I lost nothing by giving it a shot, especially the method I used which only took 10 minutes of my day.
I have been 'diagnosed' with PTSD, Depression, Anxiety. So I'm not just a happy prick saying yo man meditate it's chill! with no idea how hard things appear from your perspective.
There is a lot of research on mediation now days that you can look into yourself but one big headline that got me interested is this: More effective than anti-depressants, no side effects.
My GP was telling me every time I saw him that I need his anti-depressants and there will be no way out of what I was experiencing without them, or rather in his words "I've never seen in my career someone in your situation recover without the help of X, Y Z drugs" - I don't go to him any more.
The meditation didn't do shit.. It seemed. I stuck with it though I have been doing it for a year now and it has absolutely helped me and changed my perspective, along with a bunch of other shit I've been doing to improve my life which you should do too. But meditation although you may not feel great (you might some actually do) after your first week, if you stick with it and just give the practice 10 minutes of your time each day I promise you will eventually start to feel it. I can't really say when that happened for me but I think it was over a month of doing it every day.
I started using this app: Headspace, it has a 10 days challenge for free that essentially teaches you the basics of mindfulness meditation.
It's lifting for your mind.
Ryan Gray
I focused on the meditation but the helpful lifestyle advice here is also important. Also talking to people especially a Psychologist if you can, not a Psychiatrist who can prescribe drugs and will push for them.
Elijah Robinson
>Rapid recovery from major depression using magnesium treatment.
>Case histories are presented showing rapid recovery (less than 7 days) from major depression using 125-300 mg of magnesium (as glycinate and taurinate) with each meal and at bedtime. >Magnesium was found usually effective for treatment of depression in general use. Related and accompanying mental illnesses in these case histories including traumatic brain injury, headache, suicidal ideation, anxiety, irritability, insomnia, postpartum depression, cocaine, alcohol and tobacco abuse, hypersensitivity to calcium, short-term memory loss and IQ loss were also benefited.
Try the $uicideboy$, they kept me going in the worst year of my life.
Aiden Carter
OP here. Thanks everyone for being civil to me, Veeky Forums seems p cool.
I agree with everyone saying Hospital; my fear is involuntary psych ward when I'm not suicidal or crazy. If anything gets worse, I'll go ASAP..
For now, my brother was kind enough to buy me shit to get back to normal. Brought a bunch of SAM-e, Fish Oil, Multivitamins, Ensure drinks. It's going to be fucking hard but if I drink like 7-8 of these Ensures a day, I'll maintain weight.
Since you guys have been cool I'll post a pic of myself which I'm scared of. Not the best shot but I'm not looking malnourished or starving yet. Surprisingly, I don't think I lost much muscle if any during these 48 days of starving. Worked out. Best of luck to anyone else with this bullshit, I truly feel for so many people on here who are also so lonely and depressed. I'm 6'2 for size reference.
I'm feeling decent now
Austin Lee
Give a new research chemical NSI-189 a try. Read up on it and buy it online
