>have 9/10 coworker >she is always laughing at other people's jokes >she is always touching the forearm or elbow of guy she is around
>doesn't do either with me how do i become funny? and someone people would like to be around?
>tfw no friends >tfw no social skills help Veeky Forums
Henry Hernandez
fuq her in the butte
Dylan James
Don't go for a girl who doesn't want you You can't negotiate attraction and she probably already considers you an autist.
Justin Cox
she is not in to me, as seen by the not laughing around me and not touching me in a friendly way
Julian Long
smile more
do stupid shit that people can laugh at
people like seeing unexpected outcomes
for instance playing basketball: "check me out bitch" then airball . funny shit
act like what you're saying is ultra deep but really make it retarded enough for ppl to laugh at you
Dylan Bennett
>and she probably already considers you an autist i am pretty sure she does already how can i change this?
Nicholas Sanders
i smile all the time actually. I'm so autistic and never know what to say, so i just smile and listen in conversations
Adam Barnes
...
Xavier Rivera
im not an expert or anything but considering that i'd say give up any hope of getting this girl to like you because she most likely knows you're not very socially intelligent or dominant. just practice with other people, go for the long term plan etc,.
Austin Allen
What you do and how it looks are drastically different to other people. You probably look like a weirdo who just stands and listens to peoples conversations when he isnt welcome.
Lucas Ramirez
>she most likely knows you're not very socially intelligent or dominant i think so too
>practice with other people who can i practice with, i don't have friends in the first place.
>What you do and how it looks are drastically different to other people. You probably look like a weirdo who just stands and listens to peoples conversations when he isnt welcome. that is what it feels like... th-thanks
Joshua Jackson
>i don't have friends in the first place. Here's your problem, reread it until you find the answer.
>th-thanks Youre going to make it user. Well as long as you can learn to talk to people.
Grayson Watson
>Here's your problem, reread it until you find the answer. i know i don't have friends, but how do i get them? especially when i don't have the social skills to keep them in the first place
Blake Turner
Im not a miracle worker and this isnt the board for this. Asking anons to try and solve your problems wont work forever. Ffs just try and make 1 friend, literally anyone. Find another autist like yourself and become friends. Talk to regulars at the gym too. Just start by saying "hey man" when you see a guy there a lot and then one day ask him about his workout is going. Dont try to hard at thinking after that point just think about what you want to know about the guy and just go from there by asking questions and responding to his. Dont make it 20 questions, say hi, ask him how his workouts going, what program hes doing, maybe something else and then let him get on with it. Keep at it and eventually hell probably try talking to you more.
Chase Barnes
...
Isaiah Hughes
you're fugged lul
Matthew Sanchez
>not very socially intelligent or dominant this is my fucking problem. sometimes i'm on fire and i'm confident and shit, other times when i feel more nervous all my natural social skill seems to suddenly become inaccessible.
Joshua Anderson
...
Cooper Garcia
Join recreational sports groups man. I picked up volleyball and its actually so much fun. Making mad social gainz too.
Anthony Morales
you can't just trying doing better with other people
also you can't really become funny, and trying too hard is bad for your social gains
William Brooks
>female coworker is talking about how her nan is in hospital >she's talking in private to her work besty >after letting her emotions out she sees user >smiling and staring after eavesdropping about her dying nan
You're fucked user
Xavier Ward
>not being begged by your female ex-bosses to come work for them again for the summer This is a good feel.
Elijah Butler
Spend time around funny people and pinch their lines? I dunno, I do that a bit but kind of adapt them. When I'm daydreaming I also think up funny lines for situations I may find myself in and file them away for later.
Ethan Myers
>>smiling and staring after eavesdropping about her dying nan i obviously don't smile at times like this, or eavesdrop really
Sebastian Roberts
Fuck you t. Funny Goy
Jaxon Morris
Who is this JAV be tho
Justin Taylor
don't know
Kayden Harris
I can tell you off the bat why
The other guy is able to hold an audience, he is funny and always has a story to tell. He has confidence (and is most likely attractive). Just standing around and smiling doesn't do shit, do you expect a female to approach you, touch you, and force you into a conversation? You better be model tier if you expect that while offering nothing
Charles Cooper
>doesn't do either with me >I'm so autistic and never know what to say, so i just smile and listen in conversations you answered your own question
Brayden Anderson
You can always bring some mints to work, that way you will be that mint guy everybody asks for some mints.
Sebastian Ramirez
how do i be funny? how do i get stories?
the other guy is only funny in the way that he always makes fun of the girl, but he says the same jokes about her over and over
how do i come up with things to say?
Logan Allen
>Not evesdropping
Man, I eves drop on everybody. As long as you're not being stupid obvious about it like a used shampoo bottle you'll be fine.
I use it to learn how people talk to each other and how conversation works. I've already gotten two pussy.
Chase Murphy
>how do i come up with things to say? get a hobby, read books, learn new languages
Zachary Brooks
OP here, i eavesdrop because it's hard not to tune out people's conversations
but i usually don't hover around people and listen to them speak, which is what the other person was getting at
pic related
i am trying to do all three, i already read and lift (if lifting counts as a hobby)
i find that people don't speak about their hobbies, books or new languages they learn though
everyone just talks about stories of things that have happened to them
Caleb Turner
Get the fuck away from here. And spend your time listening to a variety of stand up comedians.
You need a range of material. So mainstream twats, and big names, and nobodies, and dark humour, and really cheesey bullshit. Old stuff new stuff. Jews, blacks, chinks, wops, hell, even women. You need to soak yourself in the humour of others to the point where you dream of nothing but stand up.
When there is nothing in your head but comedy, you might happen to develop a sense of humour. Then, then you can be funny. And you won't just be ripping off seinfeld, because you'll know that he actually stole the joke from some other comedian back in the day. And when you tell the joke, you'll put your own personal spin on it. Like chicken tendies, or how your mother breast fed you until high school. Most of all stay the fuck away from here!
Christopher Evans
>see thread >ctrl f >handsome, good looking, FACE HEIGHT FRAME >nothing
If you're not good looking, no matter how funny you become, she wont be interested.
That's literally all it comes down to. Be good looking
Josiah Stewart
>thinking its because they are "funny" just fucking lol, you are just ugly bro, deal with it
Samuel Fisher
how tall are you?
Aiden Wilson
thanks, i do want to listen to more comedy. been listening to Patrice O'Neal lately
Nathan Scott
This is how you spot someone who doesn't socialise.
I have seen plenty of funny ugly guys with decent girls, not to mention I have friends who punch way above their weight because they're genuine guys who are a good laugh to be around.
>y-yeah but I bet their girls fuck 10/10 chads on weekends!!!
You should get off of Veeky Forums for a while
Joshua Green
Learn to care less and to laugh at yourself.
Aiden Baker
girls laff at jokes and get touchy when they are attracted to a guy unless they are teases, who only have guy friends and few female friends cause they don't like drama
Kevin Mitchell
how?
the girl in the OP has a long term bf. and has a very outgoing personality
William Wood
OP, are you the dude that asked on how to win friends (while bouldering, among other things) 2 days ago?
The timing and the girls you add to every post make me think you are.
FUCKING STEP NUMBER ONE: STOP OBSESSING OVER RANDOM SLUTS YOU FOUND ON THE INTERNET! STOP ADDING THEM TO EVERY FUCKING POST!
Gabriel Anderson
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Austin Torres
How do I get started? Where can I watch stand up? Any good lists of comedians/specific tours to watch?
John Ward
i don't obsess over these pics. they are only to bump the thread
i can't even fap to pictures
Charles Nelson
We all love to ogle a hot girl or two, and yes, they are used all over Veeky Forums as a way to get attention, but have you ever looked at most other threads and your thread and realized that you are totally overdoing it? You are behaving like a kid thats on /b/ for the first time, which makes me think that you have way more to work on than just being able to appear fun. You probably should get professional help.
Tyler Cox
You have to make other people think you are cool. She will follow suit. Ignore her for the moment and make the crowd want to be around you. It will take her about 5 minutes to forget what a sperg you were
Hunter Wilson
story time boyz
Benjamin Rivera
yea people don't have hobbies, don't read books and don't learn new languages. You should try talking about last night, how you got mega drunk, high af and you tried to have sex with your mom when you got home. People will feel that this is more relatable
Parker Parker
like i mentioned, i do overhear conversations
i would say 80% of conversations are discussing things people have done with friends
rarely do people talk about reading or languages, though hobbies and sports do sometimes come up
Leo Martinez
I've heard about people trying different challenges. For example wearing your underpants like superman and going out in public. After the first few times someone confronts you about it, you get used to it, you notice that nothing happens after it and next time it doesn't feel like you are doing anything special. You get the idea. There's other ways too, but this is the fastest, the easiest.
Connor Myers
Don't act like you aren't for some dumb bitch. If she's not interested Tough shit innit
Liam Sanchez
Geoff Tate Kyle Kinane Joe Zimmerman Rory Shovel Chad Daniels Steven Wright Dan St Germain Tom Segura Chris Porter Neal Brennan Greg Fitzsimmons
Got to local comedy clubs to. There's gotta be an open mic some where in your area .
Owen Clark
I might help you OP, but I need more big breasted asian chicks first
Henry Sullivan
where is Sarah Silverman on that list?
Anthony Gonzalez
Being funny is a meme.
I'm just the opposite of you. I want to be more serious and i can't. I've reach a pretty good body but i'm still the funny guy of all my groups, and i just can't avoid that, i'ts stronger than me. I mean, people do like the jokes and like me, but is not that satisfying, bro.
Kayden Peterson
o-okay
Nathaniel Cooper
I used to be quite a funny, laid back person. Over time I realised my shortcomings and just how shit I am at most things. In doing so, I lost the ability to take the piss and became, in my opinion, far too serious. My jokes are limited to non-offensive themes because I know I'm fuck all myself.
Even though I've been improving myself, I still can't get over being so serious all the time.
Any of you bros got advice?
Jose Gray
What do you mean? I noticed my best friend in high school had the same issue. He was the funny guy in the class, was hot also, but wasn't a slayer. At some point towards the 4th year he said I don't get why people always laugh at my jokes. Most of them are stupid af. Something in that spirit. After that I became hyper aware when people laugh at his jokes. He had charm, it didn't mater what came out of his mouth or what movement he made, people had already built a reflex. They knew that something funny was coming when they saw him.
keep them coming
Jose Taylor
Real talk user, you need to get your squat up.
Jace Thompson
> After that I became hyper aware when people laugh at his jokes. He had charm, it didn't mater what came out of his mouth or what movement he made, people had already built a reflex. They knew that something funny was coming when they saw him.
I'm . I used to frequently think a lot of my jokes weren't that funny, yet people still laughed (they weren't awkward laughs out of pity)
Not bragging or anything, just had a similar experience.
Nathaniel Cruz
Why didn't you give me a (You)????
....Anyway, have you changed social circles? Are you also serious when you are together with your very best friends?
Anthony Rogers
nice meme
Asher Foster
Your jokes may still be awful though. I tell bad jokes on purpose because it amuses me and people laugh (and sometimes groan).
But don't let that fool you, they are bad. I basically drove one of my ex-girlfriends to hate me because she had to put up with my terrible jokes day-in and day-out.
Daniel Gonzalez
>Why didn't you give me a (You)???? sorry breh.
I've changed social circles in a sense. My high school circle has drifted apart slowly (at present we've all either finished uni or in our final semester) but every now and then we'll see each other - this is becoming less frequent as time goes on.
The thing is I made a mistake and went partially cocoon mode and in doing so, I wasn't a great friend. They'd still invite me to parties and to chill, which I'm pretty sure is due to my jokes. I've definitely become more serious when around them, so no coincidence I see them less.
Jeremiah Peterson
>Your jokes may still be awful though
Yeah that's always a possibility. There were times where I felt pressure to come up with something. My self control is quite good in that respect - I definitely try not to force jokes
Evan Harris
what is cocoon mode?
Hudson Cruz
It's really about energy though. I can tell terrible jokes, even racist jokes to black girls, and I'll be fine as long as the energy is going right, but if you force it you can end up in an uncomfortable situation for everyone.
Caleb Bailey
Basically it's socially isolating yourself whilst focusing on self improvement (mainly lifting and hitting the books in my case)
Jacob Johnson
I've noticed quite a lot of cocoon people browse Veeky Forums. So you've become serious and want to revert back to your old funny self. No idea mate. But I've heard it's better to be serious when you want to maintain a relationship with a girl. Btw what books have you been reading for self improvement? Where did you started from?
Levi Kelly
It's threads like these that make me realise that no, I'm not actually autistic, I'm just a big fat fucking failure. Cheers OP!
Dylan Campbell
>But I've heard it's better to be serious when you want to maintain a relationship with a girl.
I guess it's good to strike a balance and not be on the extreme ends of the spectrum (inb4 ).
> Btw what books have you been reading for self improvement?
By "hitting the books" I meant studying rather than reading self help books, so I'm not the best person for recommendations.
Evan Watson
>changing yourself just to attract 1 girl that is not even into you Why?
Austin Lopez
Just work on your own self improvement (body shape, posture, etc). Maybe practice speech in the mirror when you're home. Don't shoot for her as your goal, though. If you improve yourself you'll steadily become more desirable to everyone.
Asher Jackson
Post body pic possibly face >hurr durr privacy Unless you just used a kitty as a cumrag noone is going to go after you. It's either that you suck balls or she's ignoring you because she wants you to actually come after her. So just rape her and be done with it: if she disliked you before, you have nothing to lose, actually, if she develops a stockholm syndome, you are far better off than before; if she wants you to come after her, she's gonna enjoy you ravaging her puss. t. my doujins
Christian White
because at the moment zero girls are into me
would be easier to start with someone i see regularly
thanks for the advice
Oliver Lopez
>/fit >humour
>Veeky Forums >humour
Your best bet is doing other sports than lifting and listen to teammates fucking around.
Alternatively, colleagues at hard physical jobs.
Watching general comedy works too, but never use jokes right out of them, just develop that kind of "logic".