Help needed

Going to jail in 2 months and I wanna be as jacked as possible before I go inside so I don't get shit
What diet, lifting routine and steroids would get me as jacked as humanly possible in 2 months?

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You won't. Just bench for the next two months and eat nothing but your favorite junk food. You will never see it again. Plus getting big and fat before you go in seems like it'll help.

Yeah I don't care about bodyfat (or going bald or whatever from roids) I just need to get big as fuck

>I just need to get big as fuck

wear hills

>I just need to get big as fuck

Then put on heels you stupid faggot

8 weeks of superdrol, high dosage, huge calorie surplus, and lift like a mad cunt.
Then when you get to jail, use your fucked up liver and out of control blood pressure to get you put in medical facilities.

Don't forget to get a friend to smuggle your pct in up his butt, or you'll lose them gainz

aren't there ways to get test and shit inside?
and I think they do cavity searches at the institution I'm going to

inject synthol

I want actual muscle

do you plan on doing calestetic exercises regularly in jail

Kegels daily xF

start stretching your butthole

How do I unlock krang mode?

OP listen here , you better do

How long?

Whatchu in for?

Squatz n oatz

YOU GONNA GET RAPED BY BBC ITS INEVITABLE WHITE BOI

realistically you'll get nowhere in 2 months. if you're worried about protecting yourself take a martial arts class.

if you really want to gain mass just to intimidate then yeah take steroids and lift but it's all going to go away as soon as you stop taking steroids.

just get a gym membership and do your big 4 compounds, bench, OHP, deadlift, and squat. those are your functional strength exercises and will actually make you stronger. but strength doesn't mean shit in a fight without technique.

and desu jail isn't that bad, it's prison you have to legit worry about.

he must be /fitlit/

he can just hope the dick isn t thick or that shit gonna be painful af

Weak ass copypasta. Damn this place sucks.

Just rip like 5 ML of Test E per week and you'll be uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuge

Jari Mentula got some recognition form doing online coaching but people can't really take him seriously because he's ugly as fuck. It's fucking sad. His forehead gets more attention than the fact that this guy can bench 575 raw and nearly 700 eqq. He has shit genetics but his work ethic pushes him to roid hard as fuck to make it as a bodybuilder.
This serves as a reminder for us all.
If you don't have the genetics, don't fucking compete in physique sports. And even if you do, be prepared for the consequences, looking like a statue on stage does not come for free.

What you going in for?

_
( Y o u )
o
o
_

hop on HRT and prepare your boipucci

I don't understand
why didn't he just keep on powerlifting?

Learn how to suck dick

He wants to be a bodybuilder.
It's as simple and as stupid as that. He could've make it further in powerlifting, but he wanted to be a bodybuilder. So he's fighting a losing battle in the bodybuilding department and thus has been made a laughing stock of.
The good thing is that he has mafe a good living out of fitness due to his business savy, but the thing is that people never see the sacrifice. He is the first person to notice that his scalp is thickening. He is the first person to notice that bodybulding isn't his domain. That doesn't stop him or concern him. He'll take the shit because it's his passion.
Doing everything right will get you far, but only so far.

I thought Father Mozgus was dead.

thought the exact thing when I saw that pic, only 8 more days user

SS + GOMAD

travel to space and get hit with cosmic rays x1

Get on a high dosage of tren, dirty bulk and lift heavy

You also have to remember PCT

maybe this is bullshit, but i've heard from dudes who did time that you can get roids in jail, provided you know the right guys.

anyway what are you in for OP? How much time?

Thy

>they said I can be anything so I became a walnut with hypertension

OP is probably black himself, only niggers go to jail where I live.

hitechpharma.com/products/superdrol

how the fuck is this shit legal.

they have a gym with smith machines (no free weights for obvious reasons inside) and shit I can use for an hour a day apparently
5 years
That shit's just in the movies
not a pasta I'm being 100% real, where has anyone said the same thing before?
5ml at 250mg/ml?
I'd rather not go into that on here
Would you do low test with high tren?

Because that there is bullshit®, a proprietary blend of 4 totally legal dhea chemicals.
This stuff is no better than "dbal" and various other supplements designed to make money off of idiots.

Real superdrol is a designer steroid that was marketed as a prohormone until it was banned.
Completely legal in some parts of Europe, although last time I saw it, it was in a UGL dbol/sdrol mix.

Aren't you the guy who goes to jail for a DUI and killed / almost killed someone? If yes, I hope Tyrone rapes you every fucking night

no I haven't disclosed what I'm going in for on this forum

>That shit's just in the movies
Wew lad do I have some bad news for you

Lol please tell me more how much you know about life inside

U gon git fukked by dat BBC whyteboii

Just accept your fate as some nigga's fuccboi.

I have no muscles in my eye lids. I literally sleep with my eyes open. No one fucks with the guy who doesn't blink...but that food was fucking disgusting. I dropped 10 lbs in there. Expect to lose your gains unless you get a shit ton put on your books and see what protein you can get from the commissary. It wasn't really that bad, just boring as fuck.

Jail is for a year or less. Prison is for more than a year. When you know you are going there, you find out the difference.

>i just need to get big as fuck
follow a hardcore strength routine for the next 2 months and eat nothing but junk food. the calories will get you strong as FUCK.