Most autistic things you've done at the gym:

>did you say something?
Is this better than "are you working out?"

>one free adjustable bench in gym near cages
>no one's using it
>with gym bud, he's doing leg stuff, i'm finished
>figure i'm going to go grab the bench and bust out a few DB bench sets while i wait
>lift bench, it's heavier than initially thought
>smack shin with part of it
>let out a 'OWEE'
>everyone in area looks over
>crab walk it over to the squat rack with friend
>realize I have no DB's
>grab two 35 plates instead
>bust out 2 sets of 35 lbs plate bench
>we leave the area with bench there
>some middle aged dude begins benching in the squat rack

it looked and felt a lot more autistic than i can greentext

I've seen old people do this, they also do it on bicycles.

Only fat people and DYELs take gym selfies
Chad doesn't take selfies because everyone already knows he's alpha

>around 2 years ago
>lying back with the ez bar about to do skullcrushers
>accidentally farted on some high school girls by the db rack
>try to play it off by saying "what was that?"

I didn't go back for 3 months

I've only been lifting for about a year in my local leisure center in the nearby hotel, so haven't really had the opportunity to commit any atrocities yet.

Aaand still don't have confidence to approach the one of three hot chicks that frequent soooo, nothing yet.

>Aaand still don't have confidence to approach the one of three hot chicks that frequent soooo, nothing yet.

Don't be a twat. They're there to work out and not to talk to your ugly ass.

I once slapped my ex-gf's ass with a tortilla

>benching in my squat rack
Better than curling in the squat rack

I was using pic related, some dude came over to see if we could take turns on the machine, once i finished the exercise my legs are all crumbly, My leg tangle with the machine leg bar and then i fall to the floor in front of everyone. :(

No one laughed tho, and the guy ask me if i was okay, so i didn't feel so awkward about it but still..

>decide it'd be funny to troll a big guy at the gym

>ask him for a spot on bench

>how much you want?

>put some tens on that bitch (65lbs)

>really? Lie to him and say I had a car wreck and fucked myself up real bad

>get under bench, ask for lift off

>whoooo, whoo, light weight, whoooo

>immediately slam it onto my chest while yelling and kicking "get it get it!

>he's trying to pull the weight off, but I'm rowing it back onto my body, we're caught in a epic battle of tug o war

>he finally gets it

>get up panting, " man that was heavy! buddies shitting there pants laughing

>buddy asked how I did, guy says I have potential

>next day guy walks in on me benching 225 for reps, rages hard

>worth it

Not the most, but most recent.

>girl snaps a pic with an ample bosom
>you know how snapchat works, shits gone in five seconds
>screenshot
>it fucking notifies her that I took a screenshot
>"I'm not gonna try to make an excuse, you know why I took a screenshot"

...

...

Not autistic, that's pretty regular social screw ups. Guarantee she doesn't even remember it bro.

heh you did good bro

Y tho?

...

fucking kek user, thanks for the laugh
alpha af

That's not really cringe unless it was about something completely unrelated. I made a point of replaying a pic some girl sent me with her in a bra.

I always walk around people to get to my dumbells, because I do not want to get in front of people while they are doing their reps.

>me
>first day in gym
>12 am just 2 people me a woman and a female receptionist 8/10qt
>was chatting her up and hitting on her a little bit
>didnt want to be too aggressive figuring I'd be seeing her a lot from now on
>oh boy.mov
>just got out of high school and was a football player so figured was fairly strong
>load up 1p8 bench planning to warm up
>get it off bar and realize it's more than expected
>did about 3 reps (struggling)
> go down for 4th rep
>hit chest
>cant get it off chest
>shit
>look around while struggling to keep it off my rib cage
>only person in sight is a woman in her 50's on the bike
>yell for her to come help
>she comes barely gets it off my chest about 3 inches with all her might and mine
>(this is going on for a minute at this point)
>the receptionist hears the grunting and "what do you want me to do" from across gym
>runs over
>qt 8/10 cardio bunny, not very strong.
>get it off my chest about halfway and I start pushing it up with their help
>we are all tired and it got stuck 3/4 of the way
>receptonist says she's going to take the weights off
>this has been going on for a good 2 minutes
>let's go all of a sudden
>both I and the older lady's arms fail
>falls on my chest
>scream in pain
>she finally gets weights off
> I roll off the bench and crawl on the ground
>they call 911
>take me to the hospital
>got a cracked rib

Still, goto that gym but needless to say I still hear shit about it from her when I come in.

Done the same thing lmao. No one noticed and I took like 3 pictures

How are you so weak if you played football? When I played football everyone could bench at least 2pl8 and squat at least 3pl8. Was it a U15 team or are you just a massive pussy?

Hahahahahahahahahaaaaaaahahahaha
That is the most hilarious gym story I have ever fucking heard

what does she say?

Eh, done fapped for the 9th time that day, had to do something for entertainment

I was a wide receiver, fast and fairly small (5'10 145lbs)compared to other players. After football season (senior year) I just sat around and played video games. so 6months of sitting on my ass and being smaller than other people fucked me up

Out of curiosity, what are your stats now?

"you ain't gonna bench press are you?"
"need a spot"
"The bench's are out of order tonight"
"Jasons(gym owner) here tonight if you need help"

i feel bad when theyre in front of the mirror like if i block their view for even .5 seconds i'll fuck their form up

i'm retardo

I just hit 1/2/3.5/4.5 last week. That happened over 3 years ago

That's normal

haha kinda funny desu

I also try not get very close to people because i dont want to fuck their form up either

yeah we laugh about it now, but when I got back in the gym she treated me like a baby (coming over to check on my a lot and getting someone to spot me when was un needed) that went on for about a month

Grats on the recovery user, keep it up mang

>be in highchool lifting class
>already read sticky on Veeky Forums
>Think i know everything there is to know about lifting and strength training
>"correct" the teacher at least 3 times a class
>smug as fuck
>i would put notes on questions in her tests correcting her questions because i thought she was stupid
>could squat like 185 for 3 reps
>benching less than 1plate
cringe everytime i think about it
on the bright side some frosh girl wanted to fuck because she thouhgt i was cool for being a dick to the teacher

is she really cute?
do you banged?

>playing laser tag with a group from school
>for some reason keep tagging this one girl
>tag her
>"why are you preying on me :> ?"
>she seemed pretty flirtatious now that I think back
>reply "because you are so slow"
>her sensor vest or whatever has rebooted
>tag her again
>run off

very, I'd like to believe if that didn't happen I would have had a shot because she's been single for over a year.
>pic not her but pretty close

What the fuck, you almost got killed by 1pl8?

not almost killed, just broke a rib, pain, and embarrassment

What kind of things would you "correct?" Any examples?
kek

was doing skullcrushers without clips on with baby weight. the barbell hit my forehead then the plates slid off and smashed my phone

kek

>did you say something?
I seriously lold

But it's just 60 kg. Back when I was auschwitz mode I got pinned under 1pl8 bench and just roll of shamed out of there, it's not hard because 60kg is very little, even if you can't bench press it.
You must have been extremely weak.

He might have had on clips, Being new he prob did not know he could roll off. Still, should have done something of the sorts

Oh my god I'm dying

Jesus christ lolll

i was training for a half marathon on the treadmill with my headphones in. a staffer had to tap me on the shoulder and shout to inform me that multiple people were complaining about the "strong pussy odor" coming from me and that i'd have to stop to douche in the bathroom or leave. i borrowed some lady's douche and continued because i had to finish the run, but it was really awkward and when i was leaving a kid said to me in a mocking tone "it wasn't any better, just more flowery."

"strong pussy odor" "borrowed a woman's douche"
"a kid said to me"
BS

Is you grill or of the smashings the puzzy?

exactly, BS. Bagina Stinkin'

>Be me
>dead lifting
>see this cute girl I had a crush on in high school
>its been like 6 years since I graduated
>She looks amazing
>found out that she has a good job at the hospital
>I'm still a clueless fuck who dropped out of school and still lives at home while working a shit job I hate and constantly think about killing myself everyday

>I begin my set
>want to impress her and let her know I'm pretty strong for a skelly
>put up 250lbs on the bar
>she sees me and smiles
>start to lift the bar
>I make a weird face because I was lifting "heavy" weights
>fucking looked like I was sitting my pants while cumming and crying
>her smile goes away
>she walks away
>drop the weights
>make a huge sound, so everyone in the whole room looks at me
>High school aspie feels come back
>I just end up leaving

WHY AM I LIKE THIS

Drank out of the water fountain

lmao

KEK fucking loser

Because you're a loser

How did you get injured from 1pl8 just fucking submit and roll of shame

>implying a chad is alpha

Not me but went to gym today. And this guy on stepping machine could not stop burping. He continued this through his entire time on the machine for 30 minutes.

Didn't know any better it seemed like a set up for some tv show.

5 - 6 reps for ass hypertrophy

Is that you Linkara?

only fags take selfies in the first place

social media is like vidya but for females. makes them feel good but makes them look like total losers to people who dont like it themselves

That's not Autistic, that's just polite and normal.

Thinking it might be Autistic however, is Autistic.

Never change user.

Seems more like gym etiquette than autism to me 2bh

>Go to macas for lunch with bro in highschool
>we walk passed gym and see free sign ups for students
>we decide to go sign up
>bro who's been slowly sipping his macas drink
>he just leaves the drink sitting in the garden on the side of the main road
>we go in sign up, do a quick workout,leave
>while leaving the bro just picks his drink up from the bush like its nothing
>he just keeps sipping and I lose my shit
>he argues with me that no ones going to go up to a random macas drink to fuck with it
>I sperg out and slap it on the ground
>bro genuinely pissed at me and goes off home

>implying you weren't the one who caused the altercation and for no reason ruined a mans drink he payed for
Youre a cunt and your friend was right

Payed

I was saying the most autistic thing I've done in a gym and that I sperged out and sent a friend home.

You can't just reword the key point of my post as if its some kind of zing

Don't use pic related. It places the shear force at the top of the exercise. This is an unnatural stress on the ACL and will slowly breakdown the ligament until it rips or breaks under tension. Something like a squat or deadlift puts it at the bottom where body evolved to endure the stresses.

Not who you're replying to but I've roll of shamed out of benchpress, in a power rack, with clips on. You just roll it down to your hips, then sit up and pull your legs back so the bar falls onto the bench.
It's not fun but it's better than sitting under the bar waiting for help. I use a spotter now.

it bothers me that it bothers others when i get in front of them while they looking in the mirror. why do ppl like looking at themselves??

without a mirror I am constantly paranoid that I am lifting asymmetrically

>cracked rib from 1 plate
TOP KEK

i autistically form check

I ripped on the teacher for having us do A/B/x/A/B/x/x routine with x being the rest days. i legitimately thought and told her that the only way to make gains is 3 days a week with 4 rest days.

told her 1 gram /1 lb bodyweight was the minimum necessary

said squats and deadlifts will make your shoulders and arm biggers because of test boost

literally every day i would tell her some stupid shit in my smug teenage way. Just imagine a 6 month lifting DYEL on Veeky Forums telling seasoned lifters all the stupid shit DYELs say on here

That's not autistic, it's sad and pathetic.

This amuses me

This wouldn't be funny even if it actually happened

I don't understand why you wouldn't roll it off. I bench 125kg and if I ever fail I have no problems rolling it, so 1 pl8 is a joke to roll

Give examples of what he should have said here. I would be awkward as fuck in that situation.

DYEL's?? what that mean?

He should have flirted with her dummy, she was coming on to him.

just look disgusted and say "huh?? fuck off cunt." sounds mean but you have to be tough with bullies or they'll keep flirting.

the real secret is that none of it matters, let it all go

only then will you become stronger

>spotted the dyel
you work out but you dont look like it

>I took a picture of a chicks ass on the stair stepper and my flash was on
post the pic, faggot

funniest one so far lol

sorry bro, can't. the pic has a restrictor plate attached that won't let me post it to people who call me hurtful names. i think there's a backdoor to get around the restriction in case of apology though...

fuck you nigger

i don't think it's working man!! try something a little nicer!