How to make these not taste like ass with as few calories as possibile

Salsa.

Just be sure to get a brand that uses hatch chiles for an authentic taste.

1 in 30,000 eggs has salmonella. ill take that risk.

youtu.be/PUP7U5vTMM0

this measurement is to taste for me for a 4 egg omelette, I also like to fry some onions in some olive oil before I add my omelette mix

1. Stop being a literal child
2. Eat the eggs
seriously though if for some obscure reason you can't manage to do that just put some onions, veggies, spices, cheese or something.
cooking's not a big deal

Salt should be added near the end of the cooking process if you're making them scrambled, as salt dries out the eggs. Season with pepper and scramble in a separate bowl before cooking, then just as the eggs finish firming, add salt, toss, and serve. It should be moist but hold it's shape.

>Too lazy to boil an egg for like 5 minutes
>Would rather risk salmonella
Sure ok

Put some cheese on that bitch and add some meat in the mix.

Stop being a pussy with the calorie counting.

how do I remove the smell of eggs

>Stop being a pussy with the calorie counting.
t. fatass

>driving anywhere ever
>how to die 101
all about them statistics brah. T-that's w-why I never leave my mom's house h-haha.

I just put ketchup on em, I'm aware that all I'm doing is adding sugar, but whatever

>Can actively avoid salmonella
>Doesn't
>S-S-Surely this is the same as h-h-having a car accident
Make sure you drive off a cliff.

Watch it now pal.

salt, just salt

1 in 30,000 is the same stat as men having gender dysphoria. and since we are both in this thread i feel pretty safe.

Omlettes with lots of tomatoes on them or ketchup if you're lazy

onion and tomato

Just add salt you pussy

Let it sit a while, manong.

Frank's hot sauce

Salsa verde

KETCHUP

>salt
>pepper
>various spices

a few high calorie options
>sriracha
>hot sauce
>salsa

cooked eggs are more digestible than raw eggs

this too

take off the shells first

crush a banana into them and whisk into a batter. Then fry them like pancakes. Add cinnamon and a dash of salt.

If i have gender dysmorphia already then surely the chance of additionally getting salmonella must be zero

>cook seasoned sausage in pan
>Beat eggs in bowl and mix with favorite seasonings. Pour over sausage
>Scramble up as you please
>Eggs pull up all sausage grease and flavor
>Top off with ketchup, syrup, or whatever you like on your eggs

Cajun Pickled Eggs

Ingredients
>24 eggs
>1 c white vinegar
>1 c apple cider vinegar
>1 c water
>1/2 c brown sugar
>1 tbs Cajun seasoning (I use Tony's)
>1 tbs garlic powder (optional) or
>4-6 cloves garlic, crushed
>2 tbs crushed red pepper

Instructions
>hardboil and peel eggs (bring to boil, turn off heat, leave covered for 10-15 min)
>add all other ingredients to saucepan, heat and stir until dissolved
>add peeled eggs to a jar (or 2 quart jars if necessary) and pour pickling liquid over top
>seal and refrigerate at least one day before eating

I hated hard boiled eggs, and I hated pickled things until I tried this. It's the GOAT fatty snack, and it tastes amazing. 80-90 kcal each

>he lives in a country where chickens aren't all vaccinated against salmonella

You're over cooking them. Go make meme Gordon Ramsey scrambled eggs. Once you get that down c reproduce it with less shit in it.

Poaching them in water reduces calories

...

salt and pepper works on anything

>BoilTheCaloriesOut.png

One word, just one word... Shakshooka.

set stove to medium low

add some vegetable oil

chop up half an onion

cook the onion on medium low till soft and lightly browned

wisk 6 eggs in a bowl

dump eggs into pan

scramble eggs into cooked onions

once eggs are done to your liking, add a pinch of salt and pepper.

Done. you can have them as is or in a sandwich.

boil, peel, divide (in half), pepper, enjoy

Have you tried cooking them in some way? That usually does the trick.

powdered popcorn seasoning, comes in a ton of different flavors

I eat 5 eggs a day, been gyming for 2 years 4 months, thats roughly 4.200 eggs consumed if for the sake of ease i say ive kept this egg crap up the entire time, thats already become greater than a 2 in 15 chance of getting salmonella, doesnt sound great. albeit i live in a country where chickens are vaccinated so they don't carry salmonella so i drink raw eggs anyway....

Ive had salmonella, you literally lose all of your gains, and you cant eat anything for 2-3 weeks. And you shit yourself literally every 7-10 minute. 10/10 would not do again

wtf that's eggs not salmon retards

How the fuck? Egg yolk is tasty as shit, just break one open over the rest.

>what are multiresistant germs?

>softboiled, cut in half
>a single drop of soy sauce into the yolk

DUm faggot

Don't overcook them. Add salt, pepper, cayenne.

Don't be bitch. Crack the eggs in a bowl and throw some cottage cheese in there. Beat the eggs and throw the mix in a pan on top of the stove on med-low heat. Keep mixing it. Once they look 30 sec from being done take them off the stove and dump onto a plate. Cover in something like siracha or some hot sauce. Eat.

>how do vaccines work
>vaccines are the same thing and antibiotics

sounds good m8, ima try it

>not taste like ass

I happen to love how they taste by them selves.
I guess you could add a little bit of salt if the taste bothers you so much.

seems like a potent cutting agent, though

Basil, pepper, paprika

Soft boil them.

Then suck em down you cuck.

Spices applied post cooking right user?

separate the yolk and the white, put the white in a small bown and add parmesan, salt, pepper and paprika, mix it all, put the white in the pan and add the yolk back

hahahahahaha

Wash them off first

Salt, pepper, garlic, ginger, sriracha, hot sauce, etc.

Red onion, sweet onion, green onion, green pepper, red pepper, mushrooms, etc.

Mix and match or use it all I dont give a fuck

>something about the virgin weak stomach vs the chad alpha digestive system

just eat something else if you don't like them?

>he doesn't pasteurize his eggs

If you are eating 5 or more, lay down 2 fucking eggs and add a turkey ham slice and tomatoes, it's 36 calories for the ham and like 10 calories for the tomato slices.

It will taste like and look bigger with them, you can also add some fucking salsa if you dont care that much about sodium intake.

Stop buying bland, bitter eggs from grain fed hens.

olive oil
salt
pepper
chilli flakes

personally, i cook em scrambled

start by cooking them properly. You're probably way overcooking them. Take them off the heat BEFORE they look done, if boiling/poaching reduce time

use spices. Salt doesn't count, salt is mandatory
acidic hot sauce like frank's or tobasco is traditional and amplifies salt/flavor
not calorie-free but a bit of onion/garlic goes a long way

ignore this stupid hippy.

my go-to is to fry 2 pieces of center cut bacon, saute mushrooms, peppers, onions, and garlic on the bit of grease that it leaves, and when they're almost done, add 5 or 6 egg whites. and cook until done. salt and pepper to taste.

if you mean eggs by themselves, fry 5 egg whites and one whole egg on a tiny bit of butter, add salt and pepper to taste. not exciting, but should be fine.

Ben Franklin used to poach his eggs in broth.
Don't believe the revisionists - Benny was jacked.

Eggs are probably some of the only foods that taste good without any kind of additives.
Just scramble and fry them.

I just eat them hardboiled, tastes good for me. You can do an omelette with lots of veggies too if you want.

is it ok to just eat eggs and rice every other night for dinner? it's convenient as fuck tbqh