ITT: the most beta thing you've ever done

>be me, 19
>out on the town with a group of guys and girls, my crush of 3 years included
>she goes home with random chad, crushed
>asleep on my friends couch alone @5am
>she calls me and asks if i can pick her up
>says she didn't fuck him
>I believe her
>drive 30 mins to pick her up
>bring her back to friends house and cuddle on the couch
>i believed her

she just drained his balls 4 or 5 times with her mouth, she was being truthful bro

>cucked this hard
>not banging that sloot yourself

The cucking classic deluxe

We've all been there. Everyone on this website is maladjusted but you and I at least are making ourselves better. We're all gonna make it brah, we're all gonna make it.

for the record that was 9 years ago, since then I've become an entry level chad, fucked her as much as I will ever want to and have rejected her trying to get into a relationship with me many times. she won many battles, but I won the war

Proud of you. But you should forget about her if you really want to 'win the war' for the lack of a better phrase.

>we've all been there
>everyone is maladjusted
>but you and I are making ourselves better
>but you and I
lmao you need to practice your speech, you maladjusted autist

don't worry I have user :) I actually feel sorry for her as she has become anorexic and depressed over the last few years, and the only reason we didn't get together back then was because I was such a beta fagit. not her fault

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHHAHA

Yknow she could be telling you the truth, but you'd rather pretend your life is full of embarrassment.

Where to start

>Be 14
>Ask girl I have a crush on to school dance
>She says yes
>Don't know what to do
>Shake her hand

>Be 15
>Same girl
>Get told by her friends that if I asked her out she would definitely say yes, she just wants me to stop being so shy
>I sit next to her in class
>Do and say nothing
>Hate myself to this day for that
One day I will apologise to her for how fucking retarded I was.

>Be 16
>Different girl I have a crush on
>Get told be her friends she would say yes if I asked her out
>Muster up all the courage I can
>Ask her out
>She spends a day deliberating
>Rejects me
>In all the classes for the day I have with her I fake cry in vision of her


>Be 16
>At first ever proper party
>Get told that a girl in some of my classes likes me
>Friend wingmans me and gets me alone with her
>We start making out
>First time I've ever made out with a girl
>She stuff her hand down my pants and jerks me
>I put my hand down the back of her skirt
>I have no clue about female anatomy
>Find a hole, start fingering
>She flinches a bit and guides my hand lower
>I was fingering her asshole
>She became my gf for 2 years after that

>Be 19
>Some homeless guy is harassing a girl on the train
>I stand up and ask her if she'd like to sit with me further down the train
>"What?"
>Repeat myself
>"What? Why?"
>>"I just thought you might like to."
>"No."
>Go and find a seat as far away as possible from her

Boy, that last one was next level. I hope you're past that.

Btw, the correct thing to do in the last one is asking whether the man is harrassing her.

I somehow got more autistic as I got older. I'm kind of just owning it now, unapologetically do and say some really questionably shit. Works out 90% of the time.

Good to hear! Keep going soldier!

>Corrects grammar and calls someone an autist in the same post
What the fuck are you doing?

I'M NOT A FUCKING KEK

neither are you OP. We were retarded and trying to be the best men we could at the time. I have no regrets. Wtf else can a kid do but fuck up?

Cuckery is a choice.

>We've all been there
Lmao no we haven't. Speak for yourself you weak beta homo

>Bangin a girl on the regular
>Ask her about birth control
>She tells me "Don't worry about it hun :)"
>Now I have a daughter
My kid's pretty cool, I don't mind having her but holy shit did I fuck up. Feel stupid as hell everytime I think about it. Gets even worse because it turns out she's a garbage person and have a feeling that one day I'm gonna get full custody. Which is a positive to me honestly, but the imminent court case is a little daunting. I definitely move a lot slower now and think things through more.

>Producing offspring
>beta

I don't think you know what beta means.

It's less that I have one and more the with who and the when. I was 21, shit job and generally stupid kid. I don't think it's alpha to have a kid that's gonna wind up in a broken home, even if one parent is lackluster.

I'm 21. I'm not prepared to have a kid but I want a daughter. Little girls just melt my heart. Just do your best and raise her the best you can.

not that bad till the last one holy shit

>please accept my saving mlady

>1st and 4th
holy shit my sides

>last one
At least you tried. There was good intention, but the proposal is hella creepy.

It's probably not your kid though

I thought the same at the time too, I wasn't so stupid as to not get a DNA test.

>plus his grammar was fine because "you and I" are the subjects of the sentence, not the objects.

>Plus it wouldn't be his speech, he didn't say anything out loud.

The only thing he is guilty of is maybe a run-on sentence or some syntax problems.

I am guilty of syntax and run ons because I didnt use a comma because im writing on Veeky Forums. Didnt want to make a fuss though. Dealing with angry people on Veeky Forums are just a waste of time.

>are

This. Good job it works for me also. Whenever I get called out I act so confident like I know what's going on people buy it.

user pls :,(

*is woops. Maybe I am just a retard.

>that last one
ohboy

>be me
>at university computer lab at 1am
>random girl appears and asks me to walk her back to her dorm
>wut.gif
>"would you mind walking me to my dorm"
>"okay...i guess..."
>grab my fedora and walk her out the building
>feelsawkwardman
>try making a little small talk
>30 seconds later she says "it's ok i can walk myself from here"
>not sure if i talked myself out of a hookup or if she was the one who was autistic

Proud of you user

i'm pretty sure this story will have everyone beat

>be me
>freshman year of university
>meet cute girl on my floor , we live 2 doors down from each other in my dorm
>spend a lot of time together over the course of the year
>we go out to a club on her 19th birthday (canadafag)
>i'm not drunk at all but i decide fuck it and try to kiss her
>she actually kisses me back
>im in total shock
>fast forward to 10 minutes later
>were naked on her bed, im on top of her
>my cock somehow slides into her pussy, wasn't even trying to penetrate her
>after maybe 15 seconds of me thrusting she says "im not on birth control"
>i freeze
>say "uh. sorry" and pull out
>she says "dont be sorry"
>we lay there in the dark not saying anything for a minute
>eventually i just fall asleep
>remember at some point during the night before we both fell asleep i actually put my arm over her, and she just lays there totally unresponsive
the next morning was some unbearably awkward

i have so many cringe memories with that girl.

> be me, no self esteem, no confidence, virgin at the time
> chatting to this qt3.14
> go to meet up
> talking for a bit in her friends car
> she asked what I would do if she hooked up with me
> no idea how to respond or if she was taking the piss
> end up laughing at her..
> awkward silence
> leave shortly after and we dont speak again
> Took me a while to realise what i had done
> facepalm.jpg

Thankfully that was many years ago and I'm a completely different person these days

>have crush on this girl
>cute, little bit nerdy, with nice body, quite smart too
>try to get closer to her, sit close to her during breaks, sometimes she was the one sitting next to me first
>we talk sometimes, laughs smiles, good feels only
>want to ask her out
>apparently she asked some guy out i know myself like week ago, and meeting him
>message her that i want to meet her
>no reply
>well, decide to ignore her the best i can
>no longer sit next to her, try to not even look in her direction
>shes looking at me every now and then, caught her doing so

fucking roastie trying to friendzone me or something

im a beta as it gets because i should have approached her right away instead of waiting for some miracle.
Next weekend theres a party we will be both on, i expect some awkwardness.

>Shake her hand
fuaaarrrk

>Be 17
>First and last time over at gf's house
>Her friend comes over, was warned that she might not like me at first bc I was new
>Doorbell rings, we go upstairs, it's her
>She's in crutches, leg broken
>Gf's mom introduce us
>I hold out my hand for a godamn handshake
>She looks at my hand
>Mom looks at hand
>Gf looks at hand
>She eventually shook it awkwardly

I was told they still laughed at that moment weeks after we broke up

>Fedora

She didn't want to be ironically raped by the person she asked to protect her.

Nah thats still pretty alpha even though you waited, if you where full blown beta mode you wouldve stuck by her balls deep in the friendzone

idk, im sitting by large table just now, she sits in my field of view and im trying hard not to look even 30degrees to right.

Its a weird game were playing
i wonder if she still meets the guy.

m8 thats not that bad! natty chad

>Be me a week ago
>Have friend over for movie night
>She has a LDR boyfriend
>Originally only going to watch one movie
>One turns into four
>Fast-forward cuddling and touching each other, it's 3am
>She's semi-sleeping in my arms, her arm around my neck
>My hand on her booty, she doesn't give a fuck
>Our faces right in front of each other
>She wakes up and we're embracing each other
>Fucking around with each other, kept brushing her titties, tickling each other etc.
>Didn't try to kiss her to see what would happen


Feels like I've missed an opportunity here, but maybe I just misread situations sometimes and she's just being a friend.

Still, suicide.jpg

I haven't laughed this hard in days, thanks user!

>feeling bad for a superficial cunt that led you on and manipulated you and then tried to get you into a relationship once you had other options

If she really believed in you she would have dated you from the start. You did the right thing, don't feel bad for her.

Asking someone out isn't beta, quite the opposite actually. Don't make it wierd though, if you ignore her you're only making it seem like she has power over you, you should act like it really wasn't a big deal that she rejected you.

>"Yeah I wanted to date you, so what?"

Forget her and onto the next girl!

its not like i avoid her per se, just not giving her attention like i used to

Also i know her for quite long time but its a long story and i have to go back to work.
Shes also little bit weird

>"uh. sorry"
least you lived up to your national heritage user

lol thanks brah

whats wrong with this?

she was 100% ready to fuck and waiting for you to make the first move user.

>wanting to be with a cheating whore

suicide.jpg indeed

Ask he how I know you're probably an 8/10 in terms of looks.

100% she wanted to fuck but you had to make the first move so she could tell herself it wasn't her fault

This

And also this, it should have been a pump and dump at best.

Handshakes are usually all fine and dandy. But the I had just met her, she had to go through adjusting her crutches to meekly shake my hand. Everyone present made it obvious that I was being a fucking idiot

Kek
>Sorey

Honestly sounds like a bitch if she expected not to shake hands when meeting a new person just because she somehow found it inconvenient. Her leg was broken not her arm, and not her fucking manners either

Don't shame yourself over that episode you did nothing wrong

>17 at my moms friends party, her daughters are there one 19 one 16
>greet the 16 year old and the mom with a hug
>about to hug the 19 year old and she fucking takes her hand out like she wanna shake hands, we both stand there confused and everyone is cringing

A few months later
>they come to my birthday, tuning 18
>greet everyone with a hug, dont know what im supposed to do when it comes to same girl, reach out for handshake, and she tries to hug me, we laugh awkardly and then hug

not even remotely close to a beta story, fuck off normal faggot

>be 19
>be party at friend's house
>am talking to some hippie chick
>she likes me
>starts whispering some high nonsense into my ear
>kisses my ear
>her friend comes over, introduces herself to me, and does the same thing
>they tell me straight up they're bisexual
And in this critical moment of my life I
>smile
>do nothing
>they make out with each other in another room and then leave
>i add them on FB

was so fucking close to that threesome I could taste it

Not even close to being your fault, they made it awkard not you

something about you pedos having kids turns my stomach

Im legitimately have autism

>middle school party
>spin the bottle
>my crush spins the bottle and it lands on me
>sense a look of disappointment on her face
>refuse to kiss her

I was 12 then and I literally just had my first kiss 12 years later

>New coworker is sexy petite latina with nice smile
Finds out she attends same campus as I do
See her between classes start hanging out
Says she wants to show me something on computer
We enter computer lab while a class was there
She pulls up HERBALIFE and shows me all these videos of different products
In my head I was like I am not buying any but will sit with her for a couple minutes (she was really hot)
Turns out like 30 mins or something I was really bored
Got up to leave and she ask if I wanted anything
Told her no, she looks upset but IDGAF
>couple days later see her again at work and then at school
>she ask if i could drive her to her other job
>my mind goes "all right! a hot babe in my car I got from my grandfather!"
>Turns out her work is 50 miles away
>I drive her there and when we get to that HERBALIFE store she gives me $25 and free protein pack (still hoping I will buy shit but that will never happen)
>Meets the manager at that store. It's a dude
>Couple of days later drive her there again
>She was dressed up and sitting in the BACKSEAT saying she is glad to have found a guy friend who is not interested in sex
>Go to the place let her in her work. she didn't pay me
>Forgot to tell her something (probably ultra beta like "herp derp i c u tomorrow")
>I try to open door but it is locked and all lights are off
>Call her name but no answer
>Realized I was driving her to her boyfriend and they were fucking and prob laughing at my cuck ass

>weve all beem there
No we havent. I was never a pathetic subhuman like you.

I could jerk off to that.

>Been talking to a girl on FB for about 2 weeks
>Shes a 5/10 hafu who I added from an acquaintance
>Ask her out and she rejects me
>Proceed to cry while telling her I am crying over facebook

if a woman who isn't currently gf or a side piece asks you to do something for or serve them in some way, the quick and immediate answer should should be no and to laugh at them for being the self centered bitch that they are.

wow dude...

Just had my own beta experience lads, probably my first and worst and I did it just because she was 11/10

>some tinder slut
>recently kicked out by her boyfriend, she'd been living with him for 4 months, they'd been dating for 5 months
>red flag #1
>he also had 4 kids and he was 20 years older than her
>red flag #2
>she also has no money
>i end up paying for our lunch and coffee
>then she asks to go to her ex's place, that is a full hour away, to pick up her mail
>i agree because im a dumb fuck
>get her mail and drive back, no thank you as yet
>then talks about some event coming up this weekend thats two hours away from her and if i can drive her
>"yeah okay i can do that"
>also asks if i can drive her and her drunk friends home from nightclubbing some nights
>i also agree
>drop her home after a 6 hour date
>agree to meet up another day
>next day i text her and she's ice cold
>a day later she texts to say me driving her to her ex's house was creepy, that i was creepy and told me not to contact her again
>confused as fuck but friends i'd talked to about her before this said she sounded pretty crazy and must have issues
>tfw muh dick ignored them
>tfw went through over $100 in fuel on food and all i got was being called creepy

This was back in my beta cuck days. When she asked me for another ride again I had three letters for her. "TMS"
user what that mean?
Tounge Mouth Specialist. I know you know how to do it.


Then I told her to fuck off and never contact me again.

Yeah.I was 18 and it took me a full week to get the courage to type it out over facebook.

This was the first girl I ever asked out which made it an even bigger moment for me and I guess being rejected put me over the edge.

I didn't ask out a single girl for the next 3 years while rejecting all advances.

>shake her hand
You did the right thing I tell ye h'what.

>We've all been there
Speak for yourself, I've never cuddled a girl before.

I-is it better to have never had opportunities to fuck up than to be given opportunities and fuck them up?

>tfw

Opportunities that have been fucked up serve as lessons to not fuck up future opportunities.

>Yeah, I drive.

I'm not sure if this would be considered beta but I suppose it comes close.

>Finally ask a girl out at 19 and she is clearly into me showing all the signs I have read about
>Meet up with her in the city for a night out drinking
>I now hold a girls hand for the first time in my life
>Get a huge erection due to being so alone my while life with this being the most erotic moment I have ever experienced
>Erection lasts from 6pm till 1-2am when I then get on my train to go home

This was one of those rock solid erections which even cause pain.

it's your fault. You should have dumped her after you didn't get what you wanted at the first date

>her ex bf was 20 years older and had 4 kids
>somehow user is the creepy one but not the really old ex boyfriend

Birds of a feather...

Nigga that WAS the first date. I'd been talking to her on tinder for a few days before that and then she talked about all those plans and shit on the day. I'd mentioned her to people and they all said she sounded pretty weird.

I got back together with ab ex that cheated on me.

Hardly the same considering I'm the same age as her and she claimed I was the youngest guy she'd ever gone out with. I'm 22. She told me that when she was in highschool her first ever boyfriend was 24. That's some weird shit.

At least you realized your mistake.

You... drive?

lmao I had this exact experience at the same age but it was walking around at a mall holding hands with the girl I was dating at the time. I had bagged some party sluts before but she was the first grill I dated (and who was actually very hot), and since my sexual experiences could be counted on one hand, it became too much for my pubertal body. Got a case of the blue balls that hurt so much and wouldn't stop aching even after I got home and released the biggest load of my life into dat toilet

I mean to say that people who are bad news hang out with people who are bad news. You could've prevented all of it. Not saying you are bad news, just saying you were asking to be abused.

you have to learn from experience The Way of the Roastie

>first date is a drive to her ex-boyfriends house and then asks you to be a personal taxi in the future
>then calls you a creep and cuts you off
what did she mean by this

Wait for a girl I've been texting with in a park for 2 hours demanding to talk because she had been avoiding me for 2 weeks straight and not coming to our date while she got together with her ex the same night

But things have been turning for the best since
>She got fucked up on drugs
>Got fat and ugly
>Cheated on and abandoned by her boyfriend several times

>While I finished the highest education aviable
>Gained 37kg escaping auschitz mode turning into Hulk Mode with good strenght
>Fucked her best friend
>Had half of her girlfriends flock onto me
>Her ex boyfriend admires me somehow kek

I don't really care about her or that anymore but that was the most beta thing I've done

>4 years ago.
>Not remotely fit or handsome.
>Sitting in the back of a crowded bus, headphone on.
>Girl sitting in front of me looking at me and blabbering.
>She's actually talking to me.
>Take off headphones, she's making needless small talk, weather, politics, how crowded shit is.
>Give one liner replies not to seem like an asshole.
>After awhile she shuts up/gets bored, I put my headphones back on and continue staring out the window like an autist till I got off the bus.

Another one.
>Another bus.
>Mostly empty, headphones on, sitting in the back seat alone chilling like the alpha male I am.
>Girl sitting somewhere else on the bus relocates to the empty seat right next to me on the empty backseat of the empty bus.
>Literally rubbing leg and shoulder against me, can't even remember if she was touching me.
>Sit there politely like my mother taught me till my stop came
>"excuse me"
>got off the bus.

Last one.
>New girl at work, she was at our HO for an interview/orientation, she'll be working at another company branch.
>qt 3.14
>"Hey user, anonnette doesn't know the way home/to the nearest bus stop, why don't you show her?"
>"Sure"
>Catch her walking out as I am.
>"Hey, anonette right?, I am user", etc, make small talk to the bus stop.
>She's gonna take the same bus as me.
>Stand and make more small talk.
>Her stop comes.
>"cmon bby I'll walk you home"
>"No need user I know the way"
>"It's no big deal I enjoy our conversations".
>Walk for some time way out of my way to literally leave her at her doorstep.
>"I'll drop by you tomorrow at the branch, so I can drive you home, WITH MY CAR"
>"s-sure"
>Next day.
>Go to the branch again way out of my way and way later than I usually work.
>Bullshit my way to her/my reason for being at the branch
>She stands there idly, after sometime ask her if she'll be able to go home on her own.
>"yeah user"
>Drive home thinking how much of a human failure I was.
>Barely talk to her whenever we met later.

I remember the first time I had a sleepover with my now ex-girlfriend, I had such a bad case of blue balls that doing anything at all would make me feel sick, I couldn't even bust a load because it was too painful and I just couldn't get off anymore. Honestly felt worse than getting shot.

I see what you mean. My impression from most of it was that she just wanted a free meal and a ride to do some errands, then needed an excuse not to see me again.

Yeah, I remember having 7 habits of healthy teenagers as mandatory reading when I was around 14 years old. The book was long and filled with a lot of fluff, but one of the main concepts that stuck with me and I still feel is something valid (that would help out a lot of anons who may have been "beta" when younger) is the concept of the emotional/relationship bank account. If you think about your relationships as a business or bank transactions you can get a general gauge of whether or not your relationship is healthy, and when you should cut somebody out. If a random chick comes and asks you for moderate big/favours would be like her coming to your bank and asking for a decent sized loan when she has absolutely no credit history, or if an employee who you just hired this week asked for a 3 week forward on his pay. You have no reason to trust this person and should probably tell them to get lost.

On a general note, something that should be very obvious, favors are for friends, and for those who repay/ have the potential to repay the favor.

If you're going out of your way for a woman, whose not a gf/family, ask yourself if you'd be doing the same for a man in the same circumstances, if not fuck off.

Id nut all over her and get plan b next day.

>Be 8 or 9
>Accidentally touch a whore's ass
>She thinks that was alpha as fuck
>mfw it was really an accident
>"user, I wan't you to be my boyfriend"
>Fuck yes
>Literally stop talking to her because now I'm too shy she's my girlfriend
>Her brother tells me to make some physical contact with her
>Her sister tells me to kiss her
>B-b-but it's too soon
>She breaks up with beta me
>Later learn she fucked a 13 yo guy a year later
>Be me now, 20
>Still a kissless virgin