Veeky Forums cringe/

WebTool
WebTool

Have your guy's gains ever caused you to boof it in social settings? I started lifting 2 years ago but haven't developed the social skills to match my body.

Today was an all time low

going for a run in the park
stop to swig some water
see 2 cute 18 year old girls
They appear go be taking a pic of me
think to myself I should put out the vibe and show them what I'm working with
pop off shirt, point to their camera and smirk

they both instantly frown
the one with big tits says "oh my god no"
I run off and leave my shirt on the ground

In retrospect they were probably taking a picture of the fountain behind me. I'm sure I was in the frame

Also when I was running home some skinny 12 year old yelled at me and called me a needledick and his dad just laughed with him

Anyone else have some recent cringe stories to cheer me up?

All urls found in this thread:
https://twitter.com/iamAutumnLoving
https://twitter.com/iamAutumnLoving
Spamalot
Spamalot

Jesus Christ

idontknow
idontknow

@WebTool
lol keep going dude first thing to make me smile today

Snarelure
Snarelure

I want that pic
n-no homo

DeathDog
DeathDog

@WebTool
kek

askme
askme

Maybe your body just wasn't good enough user, and I think the second lot are just jealous. Post pics so we can judge.

LuckyDusty
LuckyDusty

@TreeEater
Not that guy, but you look like a slightly leaner version if me and I don't even lift.

PurpleCharger
PurpleCharger

@Snarelure
She's a disgusting fatass. The only good pic of her is that one.

Fuzzy_Logic
Fuzzy_Logic

@WebTool
I started lifting 2 years ago but haven't developed the social skills to match my body

lmao Veeky Forums summed up perfectly.

New_Cliche
New_Cliche

@TreeEater
Really not that impressive

Spazyfool
Spazyfool

@WebTool
5'4 blonde qt starts speaking to me
Be autist 6'3 black man so it's not the unsual occurance
Have a chat
End conversation by saying cool bro

Fuck pretty girls

Dreamworx
Dreamworx

@WebTool
Damn.. those beautiful fat milkers
good choice op!

Fried_Sushi
Fried_Sushi

@TreeEater
You look nice but you're not impressive, hahaha now your greentext is even better.

Lunatick
Lunatick

@TreeEater
you've been lifting for 2 years? ive been half-ass lifting for a year and i look about equal to you, maybe a bit better. you need to try harder.

Booteefool
Booteefool

@LuckyDusty
Oh Yea? You can bench 185lbs and you "don't lift"?

Doubt it fatwas

Boy_vs_Girl
Boy_vs_Girl

@WebTool
hey both instantly frown
the one with big tits says "oh my god no"

cum2soon
cum2soon

@TreeEater
Is this physique obtainable natty?

iluvmen
iluvmen

@Booteefool

I hope this is bait.

Poker_Star
Poker_Star

@PurpleCharger
I like fatties with big batties doe hit me up with her name / more pics

Deadlyinx
Deadlyinx

@cum2soon
Yea, I'm almost completely natty. Only 2 years of serious lifting too, I'm just super careful about what I eat

Firespawn
Firespawn

@Booteefool
can't read
I said 'look like', shit-for-brains.

SniperGod
SniperGod

@TreeEater
Top meme
You got btfo by kids and sloots

RumChicken
RumChicken

@WebTool
Name of this titty monster?

AwesomeTucker
AwesomeTucker

@SniperGod
I didn't get BTFO by the kid. I'm just waiting for his dad to leave so I can whip a rotting apple at his head.

FastChef
FastChef

@RumChicken
ur mum

StrangeWizard
StrangeWizard

@RumChicken
https://twitter.com/iamAutumnLoving

New_Cliche
New_Cliche

@AwesomeTucker
Molest him, that'll teach the little shit

Stupidasole
Stupidasole

@FastChef
I wish brah

Stark_Naked
Stark_Naked

@WebTool
What fucks my head with this photo is that I'm not so much turned on by the boobs as I am by the tongue and lips

Booteefool
Booteefool

@Stupidasole
/d/ is that way, friend.
/d/

Firespawn
Firespawn

be me 18
6'3 185lbs twig
take shirt off at the gym
take shirt off on 15 minute walk home after gym

I lived in an Eastern European country though so it was pretty normal.

New_Cliche
New_Cliche

@TreeEater
¨Peak DYEL physique, congrats you look like you don't work out.

haveahappyday
haveahappyday

@TreeEater
Bane in middle school

BinaryMan
BinaryMan

@WebTool
You fucked up by showing off.
I often jog at night with no shirt, keeps me cool and feels nice and fast. Barely see people other than cars.
Occasionally I run into chicks and get a smile or something, just smile back.

SomethingNew
SomethingNew

@BinaryMan
Id say I'm decently shredded though
I thought they would be down with that

Carnalpleasure
Carnalpleasure

@SomethingNew
Yes but you didn't need to take your shirt off, just a very brief smile. Be proud, not stupid...

JunkTop
JunkTop

@WebTool
Oldie but a goodie

MPmaster
MPmaster

@WebTool

Don't have my own story to tell, but pic related

Carnalpleasure
Carnalpleasure

@WebTool
That's actually pretty funny. Like something my friends would dare each other to do. If you laughed out loud it would pass as a joke.

RavySnake
RavySnake

@Spazyfool
Be autist 6'3 black man

How? What's your routine?

VisualMaster
VisualMaster

@Spazyfool
cool bro

King_Martha
King_Martha

@TreeEater
Time to hit the juice brah

iluvmen
iluvmen

@WebTool
boof
what the fuck is wrong with niggerspeak
keep your fucking ebonics out of cohesive threads you fuckin retarded subhuman.

ZeroReborn
ZeroReborn

@Spazyfool
kek
she prolly still wants to bang though
tfw 5'11'' w-white boy

Raving_Cute
Raving_Cute

@TreeEater
skinnyfat

Booteefool
Booteefool

@iluvmen
back to your containment thread little boy, shoo! shoo!

p.s. I'm whiter than snow and your post was cringeworthy as fuck.

kizzmybutt
kizzmybutt

@WebTool
If you have the balls to do this, you have the balls not to not give a fuck what the reaction was. Shit story gtfo

idontknow
idontknow

@WebTool
be me
in class
been deadlifting and generally working out on back muscles a lot because arms are already pretty big and I needed to change up my routine
back is really sore because I had just started
also get itchy on back
trying to reach my back
can barely get my arm behind my back because of big arms and soreness
determined to scratch that itch
try to use one arm to get it but can't reach
go from a different angle, but back is too sore
try other arm and do the same thing
almost able to reach it
extra sore now
push my arm over and almost scratch it
only graize the spot and it gets itchier
yell "DAMMIT" out in class
look around to see that everyone was staring at me the entire time
teacher says "if you're done with your dance, user, I'd like to get back to the lesson"
tell him my back is itchy
person behind me scratches it
feels good man

TreeEater
TreeEater

@JunkTop
this is classic-tier Veeky Forums cringe

captcha: niggers niggers

Burnblaze
Burnblaze

@MPmaster
That one always gets me. It just amazes me that someone can be so autistic.

Firespawn
Firespawn

Two years? Are you getting enough calories or..

Stark_Naked
Stark_Naked

@Booteefool
@Deadlyinx
God tier bait/brainlet

5mileys
5mileys

@JunkTop
This is what you get when you are talking memes outside

hairygrape
hairygrape

@TreeEater
Needledick confirmed.

Lord_Tryzalot
Lord_Tryzalot

@WebTool
Be me, at this point been losing some serious kilos
At that point I was an ex fat kid who was just starting to lift weights
Looked pretty ffkn skinny
Sitting with fairly large colleague and his gf
Both are pretty fat
We start talking about the gym
They mention how they need to start losing weight
I'm still in fat kid mode
"Yeah, me too haha. I'm way too fat right now"
They stare at me
Uncomfortably look at themselves
Inadvertently called them both fat
Ah fuck

kizzmybutt
kizzmybutt

@TreeEater
Fuck, what is your routine? Body by dachau? Cattle car fitness?

Playboyize
Playboyize

@LuckyDusty
I don’t even left
Why the fuck you here?

PackManBrainlure
PackManBrainlure

@Playboyize
Because im right

Raving_Cute
Raving_Cute

@JunkTop
Haven't seen this one in a long time. Fucking classic.

viagrandad
viagrandad

@Playboyize
Not him but I post on Veeky Forums because for all intents and purposes it's the blue board version of /r9k/.

Inmate
Inmate

@idontknow
What you do for back sempai

BlogWobbles
BlogWobbles

@TreeEater
Your social skills are about as impressive as your body

Dreamworx
Dreamworx

@TreeEater
How do you look so shitty after 2 years? I have literally been lifting for a month and I look better than this.

Need_TLC
Need_TLC

@WebTool
Also when I was running home some skinny 12 year old yelled at me and called me a needledick and his dad just laughed with him

Methshot
Methshot

@TreeEater
This is the kind of person that says SS is a meme

Emberfire
Emberfire

@TreeEater
2 years

StonedTime
StonedTime

@WebTool
Also when I was running home some skinny 12 year old yelled at me and called me a needledick and his dad just laughed with him
Neck theory proven yet again

BinaryMan
BinaryMan

@TreeEater
oh my god no

PurpleCharger
PurpleCharger

@WebTool
the second story isnt cringe

you should confront the dad about the behaviour of its spawn

Fuzzy_Logic
Fuzzy_Logic

@TreeEater
all these people saying this isnt impressive

i hope they are just memeing cause ive beeen lifting for 2 years but dont even come close to that

i only go 3 times every 2 weeks due to time issues though

Lunatick
Lunatick

@PurpleCharger
That dad sounds alpha as fuck. He's clearly raising a Chad.

Techpill
Techpill

@TreeEater
You're big by normie standards

Skullbone
Skullbone

@Fuzzy_Logic
try working out and eating for a bit once. OP is scrawny as fuck

Nojokur
Nojokur

@WebTool
closing manager
have to lock up the store gates for the night
everything was fine
bring the chains across the walkway, ready to lock them in place
put my key in the lock and turn
it doesn't go quite right away
put a little more force in
key snaps
Next day I went to look at it and brehs, I don't even know what the fuck happened. The key wasn't even in the fucking hole and yet I...broke it off in the hole. I don't even know how to explain it.

haveahappyday
haveahappyday

@idontknow
pretty alpha desu

Deadlyinx
Deadlyinx

@Skullbone
I'm 5'9'' and 175lbs. Hardly scrawny

WebTool
WebTool

@Dreamworx
I doubt that. I bench 185 for reps, post a pic or get out

BinaryMan
BinaryMan

@Deadlyinx
So you just have garbage genetics then. What are your lifts at least?

Stark_Naked
Stark_Naked

@WebTool
Are you actually doubting that there are non-lifters who look better than you?

Boy_vs_Girl
Boy_vs_Girl

@PackManBrainlure
I caught it too, user ;)

5mileys
5mileys

@Burnblaze
Oh, believe me boy. People can go way farther this in autism-department. I, for one, had 3 good chances to lose my v-card, but actually I think I might become a wizard after all. My only spell would be 'protection from sex'. I will share my first story, because it is full blown spaghetti.

be me, 15yo piece of shit at that time
my parents sent me for some kind foreign-language camp for kids
literally everyone in there is 15yo D&D playing nerd...
except me, I just like studying languages
and I was the only one, who wasn't obese in there
had been training judo and football for a few years at that time
fast forward through first meeting with THAT girl (she was at some kind of theatre/drama camp for teenage girls)
I have no idea how and why, but she is into me
follows me every-fucking-where
as a fellow wizardry apprentice I already knew what I will do
fucking nothing
days come and go and she is still like my shadow
3 days before the end of the camp
she tells me, she wants to come back home one day earlier (their camp would finish after ours) with me
yeah, nigga, whatever
2 days before the end of the camp
comes to our room (me and 3 other guys) and announces, that she is gonna sleep with me and they have to gtfo
by this time I was laying in bed thinking what kind of a crazy bitch she has to be
she comes to the bed
I go out of the bed
take a book, go to the toilet
read for a bit
it was longer than I expected
she is already sleeping
I take one of 3 unoccupied beds, leaving her in mine

If this doesn't sound like aspergers to you, then maybe the rest will. So after coming back to our home city, we were sorta 'dating' for half a year. I haven't done a single move, even better I rejected her moves. I swear the god, if I would just let any of the girls I know do what they wanna do, I wouldn't have my v-card for years.

Need_TLC
Need_TLC

@WebTool
@TreeEater
these are the 2 year lifters giving you advice

happy_sad
happy_sad

@TreeEater
Oh god its the bane dyl after a year

iluvmen
iluvmen

@TreeEater
Awesome pic. Great size. Look thick. Solid. Tight. Keep us all posted on your continued progress with any new progress pics or vid clips. Show us what you got man. Wanna see how freakin' huge, solid, thick and tight you can get. Thanks for the motivation.

Playboyize
Playboyize

@Spazyfool
Nigger.

Firespawn
Firespawn

@JunkTop
jesus christ was this really in 2012? Fuck, I'm too old. Way too old. How long have I been here?

I remember desu-desu, so it must be around 2006-2007. What have I done since then?

Graduated high school
Graduated college
Got a comfy job
Got a comfy house w/ home gym

But I still feel empty. What the fuck is this? Am I intentionally dooming myself to looking at cringe on Veeky Forums to force myself to believe that "yeah, my life isn't that bad", when in all reality all I do is work, browse Veeky Forums, and sleep? It feels like I'm floating further and further away from reality. I never talk to anyone outside of work. The people I do talk to never want to hang out, because they're all 24+, married, have children, or have children on the way. Meanwhile I'm here shitposting. Because my life is ultimately insignificant. Fuck.

SniperGod
SniperGod

@TreeEater
Lmao I looked like this before I was even born.

On a serious note, I think you got played OP. Your body is 100% fine by everyone but /fit/'s standards.

haveahappyday
haveahappyday

@SniperGod
it's fine but not "take your shirt off and flex in front of some 18 year olds" fine

LuckyDusty
LuckyDusty

@Firespawn
get some hobbies user. that's a good start

haveahappyday
haveahappyday

@WebTool
2 years of lifting
185 for reps

You suck at lifting I could do that after 6 months. Give up forever

Skullbone
Skullbone

@haveahappyday
Lmao i could bench 220x10 after 3 months on SS.

kizzmybutt
kizzmybutt

@Firespawn
I know that feel, bro. I was in that thread when it was posted. Here I am, still on Veeky Forums

takes2long
takes2long

@haveahappyday
Im three months into ss and rep 185 bench

ZeroReborn
ZeroReborn

@haveahappyday
hahaha faggots I started at bodyweight 200kg babbyy

LIGHTWEIGHT BABBY

Nude_Bikergirl
Nude_Bikergirl

@5mileys
Alpha as fuck
Keep em thirsty

MPmaster
MPmaster

@TreeEater
jeff?

DeathDog
DeathDog

@5mileys
Go on

kizzmybutt
kizzmybutt

@Deadlyinx

Man you just gave me the best laugh I had all month. God bless you, you fucking retard. Keep training bruh, you're going to make it someday.

VisualMaster
VisualMaster


Also when I was running home some skinny 12 year old yelled at me and called me a needledick and his dad just laughed with him

hahahah thanks for making my day

Fuzzy_Logic
Fuzzy_Logic

@WebTool
Also when I was running home some skinny 12 year old yelled at me and called me a needledick and his dad just laughed with him

Boy_vs_Girl
Boy_vs_Girl

@Playboyize
Lurking. Just got my gym subscription, so that has come to an end

w8t4u
w8t4u

you want cringe? I'll give you some damn cringe

be me 12 years old
fucking skelly but I am the loudest one in class and the class clown
didn't knew back then that some girls apparently confuse this alphaness
there was a group of 3 5/10 girls who were all into me for that reason but I didn't know at the time
become pretty good friends with 2 of them
one day I wanted to go to the cinema but none of my male friends wanted to come so I asked one of the girls
didn't think of it as a date just wanted to watch a movie and didn't want to go alone
enjoy the movie with her and decide to go to her place afterwards to make something to eat
hang out for the rest of the day having fun
she is laughing at all my stupid jokes as usual but I thought I was just genuinely funny
at some point we were laying on the couch together cuddling and I was reading a book still thinking "yeah that's just what friends do"
it's getting late so I have to go#
she brings me to her door and to say goodbye
before I leave she asks me "what would you do if a girl would just try to kiss you?"
I say "I'd probably punch her in the face or something lol" and walk off
tfw she meant herself
tfw I didn't realize until years later
mfw when I finally understood and seriosly considered if I have autism

Supergrass
Supergrass

@WebTool
the Chad point and pose

@TreeEater
you look dyel

viagrandad
viagrandad

@kizzmybutt
Belly laugh for you.

iluvmen
iluvmen

Needledick!

Supergrass
Supergrass

@5mileys
Good on you, really. Don't stick your dick in crazy.

MPmaster
MPmaster

@TreeEater
Was considering bailing on the gym today, but you've motivated me to go again with you DYEL physique
Thanks bro

Illusionz
Illusionz

@Nude_Bikergirl
If this wasn't meant to be bait, then I don't get how can anyone in this world consider my behaviour alpha.
@DeathDog
Why not, I will give you another story

fast forward to me 19yo
at some point I dropped any physical activity from my life
went into self-destructive mode
getting drunk 3 to 4 times a week, smoking doobies to kill the hangover and to get drunk again
my friend from neighbourhood decided to throw party
so I am at his place around 8 guys and 3 girls
aaaand there is this one slut
I go out with a few friends to smoke a ciggy
she comes out as well and starts acting weird
keeps touching me
stroking my forearm, pushing herself onto me as if there was not enough space
oh boy, here we go again
my friends notice this and bail out
she keeps talking about my mohawk and tats (yes, I wasn't only autistic, but also cringey as fug)
she basically follows me like a dog
after 6th beer and 1-2 doobies I get the courage to ask her something
'are you just a slut or what? I came here to get wasted with my friends, because I haven't seen them in a long while'
she just responds with nervous laughter and goes somewhere
ha! it worked
2 beers later I notice how my friend, who turns into serial rapist after booze, tries talking with her
fast forward to the end of the party
I am at the door, picking up my jacket
then I hear this one friend screaming from the other room
'YOU FUCKING SLUT, I THOUGHT YOU WERE DIFFERENT, BUT YOU ARE JUST A FUUUUUCKIIIIIIIIING SLUUUUUUT'
it turns out, that he wanted sexy-time with that girl I rejected
turns out she wasn't that much of a slut

We still laugh about this situation, most of my friends, who were present at the party, think that I acted like a true-alpha. Whereas, I am just retarded spaghetti spilling aspie.

WebTool
WebTool

well as for me my autismo saved me once
went to a club that im a regular
drink a few gins and after a while went out for a smoke
outside there is a group of girls that i know with their gayfriends and some low tier 17 year old crossdressers arguin about somethin
went in close to see whats happenin
ask a qt3.14 for a cigarate i swear to god she looked like kim kardashian but with better body more fit better boobs overall great ass
she gives me one light it up and starts chit chattin with me
she is clearly mirin , she keeps touchin my arms and chest
meanwhile the minor argue of the crossdressers have escalated into a full on fist fight after one called the other "hairy fag"
lolz was epic wigss and high heels all over the place
anyway the qt was onto me and when i was about to make a move she sees the fistfight and rushes over to split them up
askes for my fb username i told her the autistict username that i had since highschool and never bothered to change (im 25 know btw) "gogron facechewer"
she cringes leaves and never adds me
later i learnd from mutual friends that she is a shemale escort

StonedTime
StonedTime

15 year old at class trip with many classes from the surrounding region
6/10 qt but with huge 8008s starts fliting with me
walk in a group to hotel reception and sit on sofas, not enough place for everyone to sit so they bring chairs
qt doesn't bring chair but sits on my lap
push her away and say "y - you make me uncomfortable"
tfw when 6 years later and still virgin
I just want to be loved

Skullbone
Skullbone

go clubbing with some friends
they go to uni in a different city
qt comes up to me and says that she bought me a beer
she's talking to me
music's too loud, can't hear shit
just nod at whatever she's saying
suddenly notice my friends are gone
alone with some random chick in a city I'm not familiar with
autism kicks in, finish my beer and run out of club

I manage to meet up with my friends later that night, lie and say I got with her

girlDog
girlDog

@Skullbone
nice

girlDog
girlDog

@StrangeWizard
https://twitter.com/iamAutumnLoving
thank you based user

SomethingNew
SomethingNew

@JunkTop

It's been 5 years and I still think if she couldn't laugh about it she wasn't worth the time. People who can't joke around during sex are trash tier.

haveahappyday
haveahappyday

@Spazyfool
That's okay there's an autistic black dude at my gym too he's pretty cool and wears glasses
no homo

DeathDog
DeathDog

ITT: Boys are fucking idiots.

FastChef
FastChef

@TreeEater
Nice 'stume, brah

Dreamworx
Dreamworx

@Booteefool
I'm a 19 year old who's been lifting for two years and I do a 120 kg bench, it's normie tier at best, as is my lift. Why the fuck did you feel need to post your shit stat?

Soft_member
Soft_member

@TreeEater
Those QT's were definitely mirin pop the top again next time

Poker_Star
Poker_Star

@TreeEater
Acquire pecs and traps

StrangeWizard
StrangeWizard

@TreeEater
Omg no

Harmless_Venom
Harmless_Venom

Here we go. Check it this gem.

Be me. 18. In freshman dorms.
Inexplicably placed in athlete housing.
Roommate 1 is engineering student on our D1 swimming team.
Roommate 2 is business student on our D1 soccer team.
Roommate 3 (me) is 5'5 190 lb flabby manlet comp sci major.
Lots of broads come and go from all male dorm because many alpha bros.
Also D1 hockey players on the floor are 21-23 as freshmen and can get beer.
Roommate 1 bangs 7/10 Abby in October.
Roommate 2 bangs 6/10 Abby (freshman fifteen) in January.
It is decided we will work to get her to bang me so we can hit the trifecta.
I went to all-boys boarding school.
Total introvert shut-in.
Agree to the plan anyway.
March rolls around.
NCAATournamentSelectionParty.espn
Beers around, everyone having a good time.
Abby is clearly primed to make terrible choices.
Roommate 1 asks Abby why she doesn't come by anymore.
"I forgot where you guys live haha."
I reply, eager to chat her up.
Start with a joke. Bitches love jokes.
"How the fuck is that possible? You sleep in here more than I do."
Literal fucking silence fills the room.
Providence is selected 11th.
No cheering.
Abby leaves, roommates are horrified.

To this day I regret not banging Shabby Abby.

eGremlin
eGremlin

Here's one
Be 16
Got a haircut after having atrociously long emo hair
All the sudden girls giving me attention
Lolwut I didn't understand anything at the time but anyway
Get invited to a friends 16th party
Is on acreage with barns and sheds a shit littered all over the place
First time ever drinking, so I'm immediately tipsy
There's a new girl in my grade there
Haven't ever spoken to her before, she's pretty but very quiet
Get told by a friend that she's into me since I got my haircut (apparently a lot of girls were into me, I was just completely retarded and it hurts me so much)
Get him to wingman me
He drags her friends away
Me and her are alone behind a shed just making small talk
Being drunk I just kissed her because fuck it
Like a light switch she turns from being incredibly shy to wanting to eat my face and sticks her tongue down my throat
First time I've ever made out with a girl
She grabs my dick through my pants
She guides my hand through her skirts waistband
I know nothing about female anatomy
Find her pussy and start fingering her
She flinches a bit and grabs my wrist and pulls it up to a different hole
Turns out I just straight up fingered her ass with no lube

She ended up being my girlfriend for 2 years after that. So it ended well I guess. We never talked about that incident ever again, I'm not even sure if she was sober enough to remember it happening.

Inmate
Inmate

@w8t4u
TL;DR ---> 5/10

Methshot
Methshot

@eGremlin
Turns out I just straight up fingered her ass
was not expecting this, lmao

Stupidasole
Stupidasole

@eGremlin
bahahahahahaha

5mileys
5mileys

@Harmless_Venom
Alpha if true

haveahappyday
haveahappyday

@eGremlin
Turns out I just straight up fingered her ass with no lube

fucking lol

Crazy_Nice
Crazy_Nice

@eGremlin
at least it wasn't her urethra

w8t4u
w8t4u

@TreeEater
what exactly are you working with? apart from anorexia

Techpill
Techpill

@ZeroReborn
literally plain sailing for girls you faggot

PackManBrainlure
PackManBrainlure

@eGremlin
holy fuck happened once when i was fingering a chubby girl on a party, but i just realize it was her ass when i smelled my finger later that night, worst night of my life

TurtleCat
TurtleCat

@eGremlin
how the fuck is that even possible

FastChef
FastChef

@TurtleCat
Virgin detected

JunkTop
JunkTop

@WebTool

What the fuck you mean? Those are about 85kg, right? I started one month ago and i bench press with 90kg already. It this is a bait i am falling for?

Supergrass
Supergrass

@TreeEater
gross.
I hope your self esteem is sufficiently obliterated that you can muster up the motivation to actually put in some work.

Stark_Naked
Stark_Naked

@TurtleCat
i know because it should be so fucking obvious right bro? how could someone not know about pussy right bro? bro? bro? bro?

Flameblow
Flameblow

@Harmless_Venom
hahaha fuck that, roommates should have been laughing their asses off

VisualMaster
VisualMaster

@idontknow
theres my cringe for the day thanks user

Supergrass
Supergrass

@WebTool

Annoying morning
A net, gay kilogram lifts
Betrayed by the queer

CouchChiller
CouchChiller

working in auto factory last summer
had been there previous summer, all the regulars know me
mostly young people working there
turbo slut had started there the week before I arrived
she's maybe 6/10 at best though, just an attractive personality
had apparently been hitting on a couple of the guys
they're immediately DROPPED the second I show up
aggressively flirting with me, bumping her ass into me, bending over the line to show me her cleavage while staring into my eyes
enjoyable for the first week, play along, she sends nudes
week passes by
getting annoyed by her invading my personal space CONSTANTLY
inappropriately touching me
loudly talking about sex with everyone whenever I join the group
just want to make car bumpers
she's embarassing me in front of the younger girls that I like as if they were sisters
completely stop talking to her
spill cleaning solution on her when she invades personal space
finally gets the message
quits the next week because the work was too hard for her
tell everyone about the nudes
they all know she was trying to fuck
we all have a good laugh and enjoy the rest of our summer as one happy family

I guess this went from an autism story to me turning down a mediocre slut story but yea. Only minor regret.

Raving_Cute
Raving_Cute

@TreeEater
i literally said "oh god" out loud.
bro what the fuck is this hour glass faggot body
i knew u were gonna ask for my body so here fag boi

hmu on insta if u want some workout tips brah

MPmaster
MPmaster

@idontknow
Did you thank scratch bro?

PackManBrainlure
PackManBrainlure

@Firespawn
Join a fighting gym or a cycling club

Emberfire
Emberfire

@MPmaster
oh methinks he felt my gratitude radiating from the walls of my colon into his raw penis.

Stark_Naked
Stark_Naked

@CouchChiller

it was just autism from the begging untill the very end.

Fuzzy_Logic
Fuzzy_Logic

@TurtleCat
sweaty crack drippage

LuckyDusty
LuckyDusty

@w8t4u
punch her in the face

BunnyJinx
BunnyJinx

@TreeEater

Work on your core man, there is no definition there what so ever to suggest you work out.

Nude_Bikergirl
Nude_Bikergirl

@Firespawn
Start hiking

New_Cliche
New_Cliche

@Nude_Bikergirl
Stop suggesting

Illusionz
Illusionz

@New_Cliche
How about you take your own advice.

Need_TLC
Need_TLC

@Illusionz
There you go again

haveahappyday
haveahappyday

@TreeEater

toasting an epic bread XD

put me in the screencap

Inmate
Inmate

@Need_TLC
Maybe you should stop being so irate.

Nude_Bikergirl
Nude_Bikergirl

@Inmate
Start hiking

takes2long
takes2long

@Nude_Bikergirl
Don't try turning this around on me now.

Supergrass
Supergrass

@eGremlin
@TurtleCat

I did the exact opposite at work (nursing) when I needed to finger a fat paraplegic patients ass to get shit out her. I stuck my finger in her poosay and just wondered for several minutes where all the poopoo went.

Fried_Sushi
Fried_Sushi

@Dreamworx
Ι am 21 and i lift 250 kg.

SniperGod
SniperGod

@kizzmybutt
This is true.
OP is a phaggot.

Poker_Star
Poker_Star

@TreeEater
Just keep at it bro you will keep improving

Illusionz
Illusionz

@haveahappyday
@JunkTop
been lifting for 10 months
barely bench 140 for reps

its an abstract kinda feel

Deadlyinx
Deadlyinx

@Nude_Bikergirl
@New_Cliche
@Illusionz
@Need_TLC
@Inmate
@Nude_Bikergirl
@takes2long
Well done anons

Spazyfool
Spazyfool

@w8t4u
punch her in the face or something lol

Keep the thots at bay

Methnerd
Methnerd

@Spazyfool
tfw 6'5 black guy with blondes throwing themselves at me but I was raised in the suburbs and have no game whatsoever

feels bad man lmfao

Burnblaze
Burnblaze

@eGremlin
Turns out I just straight up fingered her ass with no lube

Raving_Cute
Raving_Cute

@Harmless_Venom
Nah that's funny as fuck

Soft_member
Soft_member

@Harmless_Venom
"How the fuck is that possible? You sleep in here more than I do."

Stone cold but fucking alpha and hilarious, user

SomethingNew
SomethingNew

@idontknow
I remember in high school when I started lifting I'd lift in the morning before class and I'd do my morning classes with a juicy back pump

tfw highschool sloots would feel my back and insist on scratching it for me

then I go to university and I'm DYEL compared to the football players

such is life, there's always a bigger fish

iluvmen
iluvmen

@WebTool
rofl plz be real

Lord_Tryzalot
Lord_Tryzalot

@Nude_Bikergirl
@New_Cliche
@Illusionz
@Need_TLC
@Inmate
@Nude_Bikergirl
@takes2long
very fucking nice

eGremlin
eGremlin

@w8t4u
you reached peak alpha at 12 years old grats man

Supergrass
Supergrass

End of high school I went from fat to fit, now that I am older I realize that girls who said they wanted me weren't joking around to tease me, they actually did want me. Fucking spaz. High school could have been so much better.

WebTool
WebTool

@w8t4u
kek

Fuzzy_Logic
Fuzzy_Logic

@TreeEater
this is what lifting for two years got you

Give up now.

w8t4u
w8t4u

@Supergrass
I was in that boat too bro. I thought they were all just having a laugh about me with their friends. The two alpha staceys wanted me too but all I did was sperg out thinking they were faking attraction.

SniperGod
SniperGod

@TreeEater
Looks like this
Claims to have been lifting for 2 years

RumChicken
RumChicken

@TreeEater
You've been humbled faggot, now take this thread as motivation print it out and put it on your wall to look at every morning. I want you to use that to work twice as hard, and come back to prove these fuckers wrong.
Even someone as autistic as you can make it

5mileys
5mileys

@w8t4u
@Supergrass
Thanks bro
I laterally face palmed this hard

WebTool
WebTool

@RumChicken
You sound more autistic than OP. I'm sure he doesn't need your motivational, and none of us will remember it.

Need_TLC
Need_TLC

Where the FUCK do I meet girls that are actually interesting and genuinely care about me

Deadlyinx
Deadlyinx

@WebTool
saved you

BinaryMan
BinaryMan

@DeathDog
wow great observation

TalkBomber
TalkBomber

@Fuzzy_Logic
This place skews what you think about looks. Seriously if you remotely had a chest and arms like OP I'd spill spaghetti in front of you.
t.gay.

Methshot
Methshot

@WebTool
HAHAAHAH I CANNOT STOP, YOU NEEDLEDICK HAHAHAHA

Spamalot
Spamalot

@iluvmen
I don't know shit air ebonics, but people using "boof" for something other than puting drugs up their asshole are pretty stupid.

hairygrape
hairygrape

@PurpleCharger
@Poker_Star
She's not fat he's lying. I've seen a whole album before.

RumChicken
RumChicken

@JunkTop
I use the ol lickaroo line on my girlfriend all the time and she doesn't bat an eye.

Laughs at it mostly

Burnblaze
Burnblaze

see a qt 3.14 at the park
usually pretty autistic but feeling ballsy after biking hard
chat her up, we actually hit it off well, I spill some spaghetti but its al dente so its cool
we end up going on a few dates
lose my virginity to her after getting a bit drunk at her place after a week or so (I was 22)
ate her out for about a minute, had no idea the clit was actually under the hood
cum in about 12 pumps
personally I had a great time and rode my bike home the next day feeling like a champ
somehow she still keeps in contact despite bad lickaroo and all
one week later, decide to do shrooms by myself, eat 5g or so
trip is fine for awhile but turns really intense, forget who I am, stuck in thought loops while riding my bike outside in the freezing cold
I'm in a hoodie and boxers, I took my pants off because I felt hot
no shoes either, bike pedals have sharp knobs sticking out of them for friction, kinda hurt honestly
her apartment is nearby
talking to myself about getting tricked by entities or something, shout outloud, NO ILL SHOW YOU A TRICK
bike to her apartment at full sprint
knock on door, shes asleep, knock some more
she opens, is like what the fuck
can't even form a sentence, sweating buckets for some reason
try to explain but my knees are week and the spaghetti is all over my sweater
keep trying to push my bike inside because I was cold and her apartment seemed safe and warm
but I can't form a sentence so it must seem pretty weird for her
keep asking her to go to the park with me
she aint having it
I just wanted someone to talk to
leave eventually, get home and finally go to sleep

I woke up and she texted me saying she was scared and that if I come near her again she will call the cops

I was pretty sad because I liked her and just wanted some help with my trip and to get warm

Playboyize
Playboyize

@RavySnake
How would being a nigger prevent him from autism? Are you stupid or something?

Evilember
Evilember

@Lord_Tryzalot
That was alpha as fuck, not cringe at all.

RumChicken
RumChicken

@WebTool
Nice blog, needledick.

Burnblaze
Burnblaze

@Harmless_Venom
Whats wrong with your roommates? That was a good joke

Supergrass
Supergrass

@PurpleCharger
I bet he means the pic out of OP's story

BlogWobbles
BlogWobbles

@Burnblaze
You deserve it, drug using degenerate

Inmate
Inmate

@TreeEater
child-bearing hips

Sir_Gallonhead
Sir_Gallonhead

@WebTool
@TreeEater
Honestly dude, to take off your shirt in order to show off, you need to be a big fucking deal.

5mileys
5mileys

@WebTool
The sl00ts 'tism wasn't even that funny. It was the fact that some 12 year old kid called you a needledick and his dad and him laughed. What? Are you the main character in an American Pie movie or something? Why is life constantly shitting on you like some sort of cheesy infomercial? Are you going to get splashed with water the next time a car drives by or something?

Spazyfool
Spazyfool

@5mileys
I'm going to remember this rant for irl smackdown with the lads

SomethingNew
SomethingNew

@Spazyfool
Why are black autists even more autistic than white autists?

Be at Comic-Con
Having fun, love hanging out at LARP/Boffer exhibit, because everyone else is DYEL and out of shape, so I dominate the competition
Black guy shows up
He has one of those fake DragonBallZ scanners from Toys R' Us
He scans me and it makes loud beeping noises that makes everyone look in his direction
He says something like "Hmmm, highly impressive" and watches me from the corner of the room
Start laughing because I think he's being ironic and purposely trying to irritate normies
Go up to him afterward because he seems like a pretty chill guy
He ends up being autistic (not clinically, but just very socially awkward), and it turns out he wasn't trying to be funny when he scanned me with his scanner, he was just genuinely bizarre
He gets super clingy because I treat him like a human being and politely laugh at his jokes
Says to wait here, and brings back a HUGE group of similarly dressed black nerds, all looking the same, all speaking the same, like they got one guy and cloned him 20 different times and dressed him up in various DragonBallZ outfits
One of them is a /fit/izen and not autistic, and
he stares at me, begging for me to kill him to release him from this painful existence
Turns out he was dressed as Goku and they surrounded him and had him follow them around and he didn't want to hurt their feelings because they seemed "special", so he just went along with it
The rest of the LARP exhibit is filled with them super saiyan screaming everytime one of them charges up for an attack or dies
It's like if Veeky Forums raided WoW by making black DragonBallZ characters and acting retarded, but without the self-awareness or the sense of humor to make it funny
They try to press me into joining them for dinner, but me and normie black guy say we have to get back to work or something
Spend rest of the con looking over our shoulders, trying to avoid the giant ball of autists

hairygrape
hairygrape

@WebTool
@Snarelure
@PurpleCharger
@Poker_Star
@hairygrape
Twitter: Autumn Loving
Learn to search for yourselv es now

TreeEater
TreeEater

@5mileys
I hope I will be able to summon demons.

TurtleCat
TurtleCat

@Supergrass
uhu

TechHater
TechHater

@Harmless_Venom
what gay ass roommates do you have man I would have been HOWLING

Spazyfool
Spazyfool

@FastChef
@Stark_Naked
You don't simply enter an anus.

Crazy_Nice
Crazy_Nice

@WebTool
Here's my tale of autism, please be gentle Veeky Forums as I'm not the best at greentexting:
be me
decide I feel like McDonalds Big Mac™
nearest Mcdonalds is 20 minutes from where I live
enter the establishment and pray to god I don't get the cute cashier
start going over what Im going to say so I don't fuck it up
die on the inside when the qt3.14 cashier looks at me and says next!
She says "Hi what can I get you?"
start sweating harder than saudi snatch >autistically reply with "g-good thanks"
she starts laughing at me and patiently takes my order as I fuck it up 3 times
she coyly says byyyee as I walk away with my food
guy who was behind me starts laughing at this
so I start speed walking away only to almost slip and break my neck
spill half my coke over myself
power walk out of the McDonalds
catch the train home
walk up to the door
put the key into the lock
and then remember I drove to McDonalds

PackManBrainlure
PackManBrainlure

@5mileys
@Illusionz
Alpha is the man who is in complete control and does what he wants at all times.
Did you refuse sex with sloots because you were not interested and were /are looking for soemthing else in your life? Alpha.
Did you refuse sex because you let your insecurities and hang-ups get in the way of just doing whatevber the fuck you want? Beta.
Here's the kicker: if you had sex with the sloots just because you didn't want to let up some idea of masculinity in your head even if you were not interested.. That would have been beta as well.
Basically, be the Uberman from Nietzsche. Decide for yourself what's going to be good for you and then follow through with that.

Carnalpleasure
Carnalpleasure

@SomethingNew
this story actually sounds bro-tier as fuck I hope you guys are still friends
that being said I'm suspicious of your normiehood if you were at comic con to begin with

Emberburn
Emberburn

@5mileys
This is where the old lickeroo comes from you newfag

SniperWish
SniperWish

@Burnblaze
personally I had a great time and rode my bike home the next day feeling like a champ
somehow she still keeps in contact despite bad lickaroo and all
Being some sort of vagina technician is overrated, as long as you turn them on sufficiently girls will have fun whatever happens

Stupidasole
Stupidasole

@Carnalpleasure
I'm not claiming to be a normie; in fact, I absolutely HATE normies. I guess by "normies", I just meant to say "not entirely autistic". In many ways, I'd consider myself an above average Peter who's definitely on his way to Chad-hood, but definitely not normie.

As fr Black-Guy, I saw him at my local Kawaii-Con earlier this year, and we just did that nod thing where we acknowledged each other's presence. We hung out at the Boffer/LARP place again, and we had this silent bond where we decided to team up and refused to go against each other, so that was pretty cool. I don't really like talking so much anyway, so having a non-verbal relationship is good for me.

Interesting when we nod. He does the sharp, quick, upward nod. I do the slow, down, thoughtful nod. When I fight, it's big, heavy longswords with powerful blows and roaring strikes. When he fights, it's swift, nimble, spears and polearms with a terse "Tsss!" or the occasional "Saaa!"

I look forward to meeting him again, actually. We make a good team, and we were close to winning the grand prize (50 dollar Amazon card each).

farquit
farquit

sort of short but anyway
about 15 years old
watching movie in class
hot chick behind me says "Hey wanna sit next to me?" then smiles
"no"
she looks disappointed
turn around and think why the fuck did i do that

PurpleCharger
PurpleCharger

@Stupidasole
I feel like the nods are meant to mean different things. Downward nod is a respect nod. "I don't fuck with you, you don't fuck with me." Upward nod is a more familiar, ally-nod-- you're exposing your vulnerable neck out of trust.

Not gonna lie, it sounds like the blackie knows his shit. Spears are the greatest pre-gunpowder weapon ever made. Swords are legitimately a meme.

SniperGod
SniperGod

@PurpleCharger
Downward nod = "Citizen"
Upward nod = " Wha's good, my nigga?"

As for Swords vs. Spears, I agree. Trained, unarmored spearman beats trained, unarmored swordsman 8/10 times. However, boffer spears are not at all like real spears, and thus, there are many ways to exploit the defects in a PVC and foam weapon.

Large, comically huge spearhead makes weapon unwieldy to use, even for your local gym-rat
PVC pipe wobbles a lot, MUCH more than a wooden shaft, which is actually relatively solid
Bait spearman and wait for his thrust forward, then just use your longsword to literally bat the head to the side with surprising speed and strength
Since spear is so ridiculously disproportionately balanced on the head(to meet Belegarth standards), it's really hard to recover-- trust me, I tried-- let alone some DYEL with puny stick arms trying to do the same
Since weapons are padded with foam; the strike is even further accentuated by the bounciness of the weapons, making it not uncommon for the weapon to completely fly out of their hands because they weren't expecting the ferocity of the parry, and also because most of these guys are youngbloods being thrown straight in to the grinder with no real idea of what they're doing

If this were a real-life scenario with real-life weapons, I would definitely choose a spear. I don't care about looking cool with a big sword when my life is on the line. However, since it's a competition with fake weapons that rely on unique physics, swords are actually one of the more popular weapons to use during these boffer tournaments.

Black-Guy was very reliable though. It was one of those things where we both just knew what needed to be done and who needed to be killed. If you watch the beginning of Gladiator, where Maximus and Digimon Honsou are chained together during a fight, that's kind of what our battles reminded me of, except I'm not actually white, I'm Asian.

Garbage Can Lid
Garbage Can Lid

@SniperGod
Now you got me started.

Just thinking about it makes me want to get back out there again. It's some of the most fun you can ever have without actually going back to the 1500's and killing someone for real.

Con being held in big convention center
Large auditorium room used to house massive LARP/Boffer field
Nice because it's all indoors and AC, also the carpets really save your knees when you fall to the floor for a dramatic death
Be me
Be a whirlwind of foam and boffer
Cut DYEL twinks down like bananas and watermelons
I'm unstoppable, like the whole room decided to choreograph themselves around me, as if I was the main character, and everyone else just existed so they could die
I can literally hear the people sitting on the sidelines cheering me on, shouting my name ("The People's Champion", I decided to call myself)
One of them falters in fear and runs, and I let him live
I hack his allies in half by the stomach and ribs when suddenly, a new wave of fighters emerge from the respawn area
They pour out, stumbling over dropped weapons and forming shaky alliances, and in all this, I rouse myself out of my stupor to realize Black-Anon and I were the only ones left to face this horde of green newcomers
Without saying a word, we nod to each other and go to work
He rushes out to meet the crowd and reaches in with his spear to sever the hamstring of an unlucky boy soldier
He leaves him to die-- kneeling; easy prey for opportunistic cannibals
He's fast, agile, no one can touch him; slicing off limb after limb, never stopping, always moving
I move my longsword to my weak hand and kick up a javelin from the floor, catching it and hurling it in to the chest of a charging warrior
He goes down
And suddenly, I'm back in action; they're surrounding me, screaming, shouting, calling for my blood
Over the din of battle, I roar "WELCOME TO VALHALLA! ENJOY YOUR STAY!"
An enemy spear tags me in my thigh
I kneel and take off both his arms for that

CodeBuns
CodeBuns

@Garbage Can Lid
The rest move in, they can smell my weakness
I let out a shout and swing my longsword around, warding off the hungry buzzards when suddenly, one of them lets out a gasp and falls to his knees in shock
Black-Anon had managed to finish off his foes and had now come to offer his spear in my time of need
We looked at each other and knew the both of us were in bad shape
He had lost his right arm, and had to rely on the strength of his weak hand
I had lost my footing and could not get up without the blessing of a healer; both of which had unfortunately died long ago
We looked at each other and knew, this could very well be our last fight
The moment of respite shattered as the rest of our enemies sprung in to action, wailing and swarming over the two of us like rabid dogs
We fought back to back, valiantly fending them off, and at first, it seemed we had reached a stalemate, until the remaining survivors gathered together and devised a plan
Gathering all the fallen spears from the floor, they surrounded us, and in a circle without mercy, they poked and stabbed at the two of us like chained animals until we were naught but warm corpses, lying one on top of another-- hundreds of open wounds bleeding from our pricked bodies
Though, I am glad to say, that we both died with our weapons in our hands, we still died nonetheless and would not go shopping on Amazon that day

haveahappyday
haveahappyday

@WebTool
Saved you from the best night of your life, faggot

w8t4u
w8t4u

@JunkTop
Like @RumChicken
said I've always thought that's a fake story, or the guy was totally bending the truth.

It's a fucking weird thing to say, but no way would that alone cause things to go from 100 to 0 that quickly. She probably wasn't even up for it in the first place.

BinaryMan
BinaryMan

@Crazy_Nice
Holy fuck I've done this exact same thing with a bus

The 360° panic moonwalk exit does terrible things to your mind

SomethingNew
SomethingNew

@TreeEater
People don't just randomly call others needledick in public, it would've been funnier had you said something more believable.

Also, you look alright but not impressive enough to take your shirt off

Snarelure
Snarelure

@TreeEater
rly nigga

VisualMaster
VisualMaster

@TreeEater

2 years lifting

More like 2 months

Raving_Cute
Raving_Cute

@idontknow

Alpha as fuck

haveahappyday
haveahappyday

@Lord_Tryzalot

So what? You did the right thing, maybe they'll learn it this way

Spazyfool
Spazyfool

@w8t4u

You were just an average dumb 12yo, just like everyone else. Nothing bad with being a bit goofy with girls at that age.

happy_sad
happy_sad

@WebTool

Saved you from having sex with a literal 9.5/10?

TreeEater
TreeEater

@SomethingNew

Same here, jokes apart I think that user really dodged a bullet that time, a girl that gets angry/offended/grossed out so easily is definitely no fun to hang around with.

whereismyname
whereismyname

@eGremlin
Like a light switch she turns from being incredibly shy to wanting to eat my face and sticks her tongue down my throat

This happens almost all the time with shy girls.

haveahappyday
haveahappyday

@Stark_Naked

You should be able to tell the difference between a soft wet pussy and a clenched dry anus ffs. Also the last one has two big fucking buttocks around it, wich makes it quite easy to recognize. No Chad-magic here, just good sense and a basic grasp human anatomy

Snarelure
Snarelure

@CouchChiller

No, it was 100% an autism story, sorry bro

RumChicken
RumChicken

@WebTool
holy fuck dude... pls be real

Evil_kitten
Evil_kitten

@Burnblaze

freaking out with just 5gr of shrooms

skinnner_pathetic.jpg

TechHater
TechHater

@w8t4u
That’s nothing
in year 6 at school
back of playground playing footie with the boys
some of the girls are talking to my closet friends
talk us into a game of spin the bottle
my understanding is that it’s just a dare thing
sit down
after a few turns of funny dares like fart in someone’s face
a girl gets the bottle spun towards her
blonde girl with pigtails and red bow iirc
dared to kiss someone apparently, wasn’t really paying attention, thingken of footie
walks over to me and ring leader says ‘stand up anon’
huh ok
she puts one hand on my shoulder, on tip toes, and gives me a quick kiss on the lips then smiles baring her braces
instinctively recoil
fucking push her over into the hedge
’ughhh gross! Why did you do that’
she starts to cry and walks off holding her scraped elbow with her friend
my bros and I call it quits and resume our game
It really is a painful memory, but I think I’ve made it better. In my twenties now but I knew her all the way to sixth form and slept with her at a party in summer after exams
mfw she mentions she remembers that time
Treat them mean, I guess

girlDog
girlDog

@WebTool

Jesus fucking Chirst

You need to stop watching Connor Murphy and Zyzz chatroulette videos bro. They aren't real life

Snarelure
Snarelure

@TreeEater

Deary me

SniperGod
SniperGod

@5mileys
literally everyone in there is 15yo D&D playing nerd...
except me, I just like studying languages

15yo sounds alpha as hell

likme
likme

@Crazy_Nice
@BinaryMan
are you guys for real?
anyways that kind of shy awkwardness is really endearing if you're attractive, so you know, just make sure you're attractive

kizzmybutt
kizzmybutt

@Illusionz
@Illusionz
This thread is gonna turn into an "alpha because aspie" thread

Soft_member
Soft_member

@JunkTop
To be fair, people say dumb shit - when I was getting with my last ex (lasted 5 years before it died a death..) I was getting into her, kissing her and sniffing her hair and then said "I'm a horse, I'm a horse, I'm a horse."

Still got laid. Fuck knows how after saying that.

iluvmen
iluvmen

@Skullbone
lmao i was benching 315 in the womb get the fuck outta here mate

StonedTime
StonedTime

@TechHater
at least you have a hilarious story to tell people

Booteefool
Booteefool

Some long time ago

Used to hump classmates

Hard bumps grabbing and dominating each other

Did this to each other through like 4 grades

Another story

Constantly farting during class

Classmates complain

Teacher tells me to go fart outside if I can't hold it in

Stand up right then and there and just stick my ass out the door to let one rip

I saw nothing wrong with it, I mean she told me to do it

In bed with a qt chick some niggress and a buddy of mine

Chick was into me came up close to me trying to kiss

Autist that I am I did nothing

Girl starts to cry

Leave

I didn't want to anything to a girl so drunk, friend asks me why I didn't fuck her and told me why I cared if she was drunk.

King_Martha
King_Martha

@Burnblaze
faggot

Lunatick
Lunatick

@WebTool
some skinny 12 year old yelled at me and called me a needledick and his dad just laughed with him

holy shit

iluvmen
iluvmen

@PackManBrainlure
@SniperGod
Do you want to tell me I have been alpha all my life, but still somehow couldn't grasp the notion of it? Don't get me wrong, I know there are lots of definitions of alpha males, but somehow everyone I know associates 'being alpha' with starting fights at the bar and fucking random sloots. Which is as far from me as possible. I always refrain from fighting, if I have to, I will, but my father always taught me not to exploit weaknesses, so if I see some wannabe street thug, who looks like a twig and is already drunk as fug, then I will just ignore his 'shenanigans'. Same with women, I tend to disregard most of them for their lack of ability to understand some concepts like honour and what not. That's why I don't fuck them, even if they want to. I go for specific goals in my life and try not to focus on some petty shit, that doesn't bring me close to said goals.

Snarelure
Snarelure

@Booteefool
Can you not space your stories like a retard? Thanks.

Sharpcharm
Sharpcharm

@iluvmen
Well honestly that whole "alpha" thing is toxic and bullshit.
But the whole point is being confident and not letting what others think affect you. If you're not into fucking random chicks, you shouldn't do it just because it's the "manly" thing to do.
With that attitude you should have no problem meeting a nice girl, at work/uni/whatever

StonedTime
StonedTime

@Firespawn
At first I thought "man, I sure have it better than this guy". Then I thought for a bit and realized most of my friends are about 10 years younger than me, and once they start getting jobs and starting families they'll probably fade away too.

Fuzzy_Logic
Fuzzy_Logic

@Firespawn
I've been with Veeky Forums through some pretty amazing life events

failed school
joined army
got gf
deployed
discharged from army
went to trade school
currently completing engineering at university

i'll probably be still browsing after I marry my gf of 8 years and have children and possibly grandchildren.

Fried_Sushi
Fried_Sushi

@TreeEater
2 years for this

MAKE AN EFFORT

likme
likme

@Stark_Naked
Its all of that man, perfect beauty. Hopefully she has a nice ass too

Need_TLC
Need_TLC

@JunkTop
While funny, I feel like saying that shouldn't have killed the mood

Evilember
Evilember

@New_Cliche

dubs of truth

BunnyJinx
BunnyJinx

@Garbage Can Lid
@CodeBuns
kek

New_Cliche
New_Cliche

@Lord_Tryzalot
That was fine bro.

Boy_vs_Girl
Boy_vs_Girl

@5mileys
The worst thing is that you know. Well, whatever floats your boat.

Lunatick
Lunatick

@likme
I'm @Crazy_Nice
and yes I'm 100% serious.
kind of shy awkwardness is really endearing if you're attractive
I'm kind of attractive (I hope) but it's not a "shy awkwardness" that I exude but a horrible autism, that can get very annoying/ creepy very quick.

likme
likme

I have a cringey as fuck story that's different but infinitely more pathetic than the ones posted here

mid 20s kissless virgin
have a pretty big dick so i decide to post it on le rebbit (some pictures of it, then videos of myself jerking off) to get some sexual attention, even to use it to sext with girls on there

find one girl on there

after sexting each other we end up taking a huge liking to each other, message all the time, even exchange phone numbers so start texting instead of using a messaging app
finally go on skype with each other, spend like 3-4 hours lying in bed naked overnight doing some mutual masturbation but mostly just giving each other shit, basically like pillow talking after cumming
do this 2-3 times

i end up feeling completely pathetic for doing this online shit and want to dial back or just stop talking to her completely
she gets really upset because she really liked me and thinks its something about her that im just gonna drop her like nothing
we end up stopping talking

This ended like over a year ago. She was even from my area (but was across the country now) and would probably have come back on holidays and I could have met her and fucked her and all that. Thing is she wasn't even that hot, she had a cute filipina face but was big bordering on "BBW" territory

Oh and the worst thing about the whole experience was that I'm so ugly that I literally had girls I sexted with who fawned over my dick drop me when they saw my face because of how ugly I am, and she actually found me to be cute as fuck and even told me "it would take a person with unique tastes to find me attractive"

CouchChiller
CouchChiller

@w8t4u
punch her in the face
BASED

Booteefool
Booteefool

@Fried_Sushi
I am 21 and I lift 251kg.

Seriously, DYEL ?

LuckyDusty
LuckyDusty

be me, 23 khv
working out for 3 years
never been that interested in finding gf
a couple months ago new girl joins gym
legit the most beautiful girl I've ever seen
get along with gym receptionist, we play CSGO together
we're talking, I sperg out and mention the girl
he says: 'go talk to her bro, but keep in mind she's 16'
finish my workout, go home and play CSGO in anger with her fb open on the steam overlay

Goddamn I wish I wasn't so autistic

Nojokur
Nojokur

I run off and leave my shirt on the ground

holy shit

LuckyDusty
LuckyDusty

@TreeEater
How embarassing...

Garbage Can Lid
Garbage Can Lid

@Methshot
well tbf ss IS a meme

Ignoramus
Ignoramus

@Playboyize
Not same user but im here for /fph/
@viagrandad
<-also this

Fried_Sushi
Fried_Sushi

@TreeEater
social skills to match my body
to match my body

Lunatick
Lunatick

@likme
filipina
only person who finds you attractive

colonial mentality, user

farquit
farquit

@TreeEater
social skills to match my body
to match my body@AwesomeTucker

Bidwell
Bidwell

@WebTool
Girls laughed whenever they saw me in the same general space with my crush. Maybe they just find the sight of a tall, fit (by normie standard) guy with a resting bitch face spilling his spaghetti whenever he's around his crush absurd and hilarious.

likme
likme

@idontknow
THE CHAD SCRATCH vs the Virgin backscratcher

Stark_Naked
Stark_Naked

@WebTool
God dammit Veeky Forums I can't stop reminding myself of this story
2 years ago
Be 20, British
Walking down my town's shopping high street on the way back from the gym, wearing a tight t-shirt, gains poppin'
A car drives up the highstreet towards me and stops and calls me over
Walk over, 3 individuals in the car, 2 8/10 grills in the front seats
"Hello, can you pleaseee move those barriers at the end of the highstreet? They're soooo heavy"
Could have just said yes, no problem
Instead, for some autistic reason, I replied with
"You've got a geeza in the back seat, why can't he get out and move it?"
Back seat window pulls down, a black girl pops her head out and screams "DID YOU JUST CALL ME A GEEZA?"
Stand in shock for 10 seconds, awkwardly say sorry and walk over to the barriers with my head and move them out of the way of the car, keep my head down until they drive out
They don't even say thank you
Black girl proceeds to call me a "fat steroid cunt" as they drive past
Could have been alpha for the first time in my life

Sharpcharm
Sharpcharm

A couple years ago.

get separated from friends out drinking
ended up at the dance club down the street
I'm standing at the bar sipping a gin and tonic
Girl shows up on my left
She slides in between me and a gaggle of blurry loud chicks
Makes eye contact
Says "Have a shot with me"
Slides me a shot of Patron, that she had already ordered
She's smooth. What do I do?

I take the shot
Look at the salt like it's retarded because why do people even do the salt thing
Take a bite of the lime and say "Fuck I hate tequila"
"I mean, thank you, just what I wanted"
She says "Maybe you're what I wanted"
I get it, but I don't get it. It's like a joke I can't really figure out but I chuckle anyway.
I'm still intrigued and pissed off at this tequila taste, so I say:
"It's pretty loud... I think I'm going to go find my friends"

and I leave, run down the block to different pubs trying to find people I know.

Fried_Sushi
Fried_Sushi

@5mileys
Nigga are you me? I hate my self for thisbut I just can't trust anyone to touch me. Keep your shit off of me.

Bidwell
Bidwell

@WebTool

Maybe it's all the porn I've consumed over time and only in the last few months given it up.
But when I really think about it sex with a woman disgusts me in a deep way.
During me teens I never thought about a relationship/ sex with a girl. I had wired bought of oneitis with on girl late on but that was it. I find women attractive but when women get sexual it makes me sick to my stomach.
Is this normal Veeky Forums?

Firespawn
Firespawn

@Sharpcharm
when your friends cock block you without even being there
Ultimate beta

Gigastrength
Gigastrength

@Deadlyinx
almost
knew it

Carnalpleasure
Carnalpleasure

@TreeEater
Y-you meant two months r-right?

whereismyname
whereismyname

All the girls I know are either in love with me or being friendly.

GoogleCat
GoogleCat

If you're fit and tall women mistake autism for alphaness, leave my nice guy friends seething.

Lunatick
Lunatick

@WebTool
uhh I rode my Vespa to the gym today

TurtleCat
TurtleCat

@JunkTop
haha I was the girl lmao ;)

idontknow
idontknow

@Sharpcharm
autism

cum2soon
cum2soon

@Stark_Naked

Fucking sheboons they all need to be gassed.

5mileys
5mileys

@Evil_kitten
freaking out with just 5gr of shrooms

Just 5g of shrooms.

You realise those idiots who drink 'brews' of 500 mushrooms they pick on the weekend are lucky if even 5-10% are even actual liberty caps.

One year they get lucky and actually pick 90% magic and never do them again. Ever.

GoogleCat
GoogleCat

@Stark_Naked
fat steroid cunt

I mean i'd kind of take that as a compliment senpai, as long as you were bulking that is.

Booteefool
Booteefool

No way this is real, what the hell is wrong with you people

Garbage Can Lid
Garbage Can Lid

@TreeEater
Work something other than arms holy shit

BinaryMan
BinaryMan

@FastChef
underrated

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