I fucked up Veeky Forums.
I was doing great, 10 lbs away from getting that last patch of bellyfat off and revealing my abs.
I got complacent. My friends invited me out for lunch at this great American food place that is only open three months a year. They custom made everything, everything was natural and raised on their farm, it is a family business.
I couldn't help myself. After eating clean for so long I couldn't help but binge, what was supposed to be a day to "get it out of my system" turned into a week, which turned into a month. Every day I'd go there and spend at least $40 in total, eating for lunch and dinner. I had a double cheeseburger (they were massive), washed it down with soda, and had fries for every meal, probably over 1,500 a meal. According to the weight gain I ingested 80k calories...
Now I'm 23 pounds over from where I was, and will have to take another half a year just to work this off, and the worst part is, I didn't even work out at all during this binge. Depression kicked in from eating all the food and I just went out to eat, it was like my withdrawal from reality.
I was already losing muscle from a month of water fasting(religious), a year of cutting, and now I have to go six more months to look respectable. I've fucked up, I really want to kill myself.
Now I'm skinny and fat, plus I developed gyno.
I'm thinking of going in the gym and doing cardio for a few hours everyday until I reach 1000 calories burned. But I don't know if that'll work, I really don't have enough muscle to spare anymore, after fasting I've lost a quarter of my strength, coupled with a month of sitting in my room doing nothing.
What the fuck should I do?