DM: "You find a pile of treasures, with a sword set in the middle. It all looks like it's been abandoned for ages."

DM: "You find a pile of treasures, with a sword set in the middle. It all looks like it's been abandoned for ages."

Me: "I retrieve the sword to appraise it."

DM: "Okay, roll a will save."

>mfw

>Not casting detect magic first
>Not casting identify before actually picking it up

You deserve this.

Hope you enjoy being reduced to an unspeaking, unthinking tool of the gods on account of your new weapon's massive ego score.

He deserves it for relying swords in the first place.

>Not being suspicious about a sword just chilling in the middle on its own
You are fault

>TFW the party cleric has a sword that's been shown to be an evil divination focus
>It's secretly a weapon with an affinity for their greatest enemy, a dark goddess
>It's been used to track the party ever since the party picked it up
>It acts as one of the foci for her presence on the Material Plane and gathers fragments of her power
>They just fought one of her icons, increasing the sword's power ever-so-slightly
>The goddess's high priestess will appear in disguise and ask for the sword in a non-suspicious fashion
I can't wait for her to finally realize who it belongs to after it ends up being used against the party.

>L5R 1e, working as the deputies of our friend the Emerald Magistrate and Topaz Champion Toku
>Hunted down and killed a horrible intelligent Ogre in Unicorn lands who had accumulated a bandit force
>Upon his belt are a number of Katanas from various clans
>Most other Samurai taking the others to return to their families, my Phoenix happens upon one from no clan
>Of course I fucking take it, I'm a fucking Phoenix and this shit is cool
>Turns out it's fucking awesome
>Turns out it's fucking Magical
>Turns out it's fucking Maho
>Turns out it gives me a mental compulsion to eat money
>Turns out that drives me half-insane
>Turns out that the Crab starts thinking me tainted
>Turns out I TPK us with a fireball when they try to dishonorably execute me

Fucking Bloodsword of Greed, never again

>asking the party to give up a magic weapon that gets stronger as they slay evil
>already making plans assuming they'll just hand it over

Please, you think I haven't accounted for that?
>PC hands over the sword:
>>The sword is now in the hands of evil
>PC does not hand over the sword:
>>The sword continues to monitor the party and gather power
>PC does not hand over the sword and attacks the priestess:
>>Sword attempts to dominate the cleric, fight ensues
>>In the case that the party survives, new quest to destroy the artifact.
The point isn't that I kill the character or trick them- it's that no matter what they do, something new happens and the plot moves forwards. I was just giving one example.

What if they disenchant the sword?

That's not something you just do to a sentient magic weapon, so I'm going to go with
>new quest to destroy the artifact.

>What if they disenchant the sword?
why would they? user has made it clear that the PC's are utterly oblivious to the sword's sinister nature.

Ever since I tossed in the 12 Swords of Power from Saberhagen's Book of Swords, my party has oscillated between a mad lust for magic swords, and fear of all bladed things.

It's not MY fault they ignored Wayfinder's rhyme and wandered into the ghouls' lair.

>Assuming the players give up anything ever
>Dark Goddess watches the cleric through the sword
>Sees him take up arms in defense of the innocent and wade into danger without any second though
>She begins to grow infatuated with the cleric when witnessing his selflessness
>Appears before him as a mortal woman to try and sway him to her side
>gets nervous when he asks if he can help her
>tries to talk,starts tripping over herself and stuttering.
>Tries to get him to join her side, but everything is coming across as a poorly executed pickup line
>Cleric is just looking on patiently, asks her if he can have her name
>Dark Goddess panics, runs away.
>Cleric is just left wondering where all this spaghetti came from.

>Ever since I tossed in the 12 Swords of Power from Saberhagen's Book of Swords
You, you're alright.

>fighting a daemon
>making constant sports puns that no one gets (in character, that is)
>banish it
>it drops it's cleaver
>halfling loots it
>entire party goes 'UH NO'
>PC refuses to drop it
>try to talk him out of it while fire is consuming area
>end up shooting at him, so he runs deeper into the burning building where he presumably dies

Two of the three halflings I've ever seen in WFRP havr been absolute madmen.

The cleric's a she, so that's the first problem with your suggestion- she would go after the party monk instead, actually, if seduction was her deal. Which would add to the running gag of him refusing women who were infatuated with him.
Also, I had a different idea for the high priestess's disguise anyways: A bratty noble girl who demands to buy the sword from the PCs and won't take no for an answer from anyone, even her retainers.

>Yuri
>ever a problem

>Implying girls can't love other girls

Not what I meant- based the story off of the cleric being a dude, and she isn't.
I mean, I guess she could try to seduce the dragonborn cleric, but it could get (more) awkward given that the monk has the gag associated with him and the cleric doesn't. Plus the cleric is sort of the 'crush the enemies of my god' type.

>Dark goddess appears before the party as an attractive woman
>Starts talking to the cleric, though the monk is in the way
>The monk assumes she's talking to him
>She starts stuttering about them both being girls
>and more trying to tempt her to darkness just coming off as flirting with her.
>Goddess insists that's not what she means, tries to say it another way but it keeps sounding like forbidden love.

...

I know the character, so I'm just going to drop that she would consider flirting with two people at once vanilla-tier.

> "Roll a Will save", the idiot DM says, telegraphing the danger instead of keeping it on the down low

well at least he did it privately

> "Hey everyone in the party, you find a pile of treasures. What? Ok, roll a Will save. Why are you all looking at me like that? Oh no, are you gonna start metagaming again?"

Well at the point where the GM says "make a will save," it's a bit too late to do any metagaming. Either the save is passed, and the bad thing doesn't come to pass, or the save is failed, and the bad thing does.

BRUH

>mfw I saw you accidentally post this to /g/

You sound like an ass. At least tell me the game didn't end or your actions are irredeemable.

This is why I lurk Veeky Forums

>Online game
>DM asked me to play an intermediate villain to spice things up
>Players make blunder after blunder incapable of even pinning me down
>Players start to have in-character squabbles
>Party splits and some harbour murderous thoughts about each other
>I create a pair of pistols with definitely evil origin and gift them to one of the more angry characters by just teleporting them behind his back with a note that this is for him
>Said character takes them no questions asked or anything checked and test-fires them in big city
>One house topples down and unknown number of people dies.
>"Hero" starts to almost drool on pistols making plans how he will kill everyone who he doesn't like

Thankfully one of the more experienced players on the good side decided that it was enough and took leadership so pistols in the end were confiscated, said "hero" later died due to his own head problems and I got promoted to BBEG ultimately dying in a magic battle in the air over the middle of the ocean.