The elven obsession with freedom stems from their cultural memory of having been enslaved by Santa Claus and forced to...

The elven obsession with freedom stems from their cultural memory of having been enslaved by Santa Claus and forced to claw their way south of the North Pole. They value vegetation because up there all they had to eat was ice fish and moss.

>elves are Santa's helpers gone feral
>Santa is a damn tyrant
I want to play in this game.

With magic and skill, elves are among the world's greatest craftsman. They create weapons, clothing, musical instruments and jewels of the highest quality, desired by all... but not toys. To ask an elven craftsman to make toys is the highest of insults, often resulting in death.

What if santa was a bunny?

>elves are such good archers because they don't have any toys, so their children have nothing to do except train with little bows all day long. They're also healthy because they've renounced cookies as "the fare of oppression".

So how would these elves view the poor bastards still stuck in the north? What of dwarves and other races?

>elves hold great respect for all animal life, except reindeer, which they hunted to extinction

Isn't lembas a kind of cookie?

What about cookies?

>The North Pole is ruled by a clan of magical giants, the Clausen, whose patriarch has reached demigod status in ancient times. They are known to be fat and jolly as a result of subsisting almost entirely off nog and sweets, as well as roast giant snow chickens and the milk of giant snow cows.

What I'd it's bred into them that they genetically need more sugar to operate at functional levels, and this is their way of compensating for it. Letting them know this will drive every elf into a furious rage of a rampaging dragon of course.

>Winter King's Jingle

>elven obsession with freedom
What setting are you talking about?

This thread is going to last MAYBE an hour before it's overrun by fetishes.

>elven obsession with freedom

????

In my campaign I made elves difficult for other races to associate with almost entirely as a result of their advanced longevity and the effects it has upon their mentality.

They're kinda like the Ents, they take a long time in making what would seem to us as easy, quick decisions. They aren't slow-talking or slow-thinking, they're just exceedingly deliberate, patient, and cautious. When you can live thousands of years (my elves could) you don't risk that life on trivial matters, and what seems like a sure bet to a 2-digit lifer could seem frivolously dangerous to the comparatively immortal.

Oh, and yeah, the freedom bit - that they're libertarian or anarchist to a ridiculous level, their society is Chaotic to the core, its barely a society when its 100 elves moving in 101 different directions.

Probably D&D, where they're often noted as Chaotic Good.

They don't seem to like those either.

I read that comic too.

Magnific game.

Huh?

>The elven obsession with freedom

>they look down their noses at humans because we're literally children to them
>as in, the ones who were getting toys from their enslavement
>they hate it when we cut down trees, ESPECIALLY if we then decorate said trees

You know what, let's add some other holidays to this mix.

>the very first Witches were Elves who got separated from the rest during the escape from the North Pole and got lost underground, and bargained with Jack O'Lantern, Lord of Halloween, for survival's sake

I'm totally gonna steal the whole escaped santa elves concept at some point.

I bet I can even make it so players don't get it unless they do hardcore investigation.

>easter every year is always overrun by giant humanoid eating bunnies that hatch from eggs.

"Holiday tales are actually dark and cool" was neater back when it had golden spaceship moons in it.

We all know how this ends.

It is Satan´s greatest gift to man.

What the shit?

I've seen this game pushed at me alot on Steam because I have Sentinels of the Multiverse and Talisman.

Its some sort of crossover right? Don't know any of the weebshit that is involved in it.

Don't say that too loud, bro.

...

Which book is that from?

I hate you for making something so absurd sound plausible.

That... doesn't seem correct.

D&D elves are horrible snobs and often have archaic ritual laws. At least as far as I've seen. Is that new?

>D&D SJWe
Of course

5e phb. Do remember that Greyhawk is no longer the default setting.

It's just characters from the same studio. No real plots to speak of, seems like they mostly make bullet hell.

That said, 100%oj is a cute weeb game and is fun if you want to have less friends.

Can we put in the old eskimopunk Santa?

Even freedom as a concept is now SJW-ish?

Nah, it's kind of its own idea.

Well it's definitely more 'hippie-esque'. It seems like that's what they want elves to be. But not in their usually "touch a tree and die" way.

>Do remember that Greyhawk is no longer the default setting.
I refuse.

I remember some pedo on Reddit saying that "Free speech is a left-wing concept".

My response of HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA with each "HA" linking to a leftist trying to censor shit that hurt their feelings was "anecdotal".

Santa Claus is of course a bastardization of Saint Nicholas. Santa is a high level cleric that serves the charity aspect of his god of justice.
Part of this charity is also to take in the less fortunate and give them a job to do to make a living. Whether it's Elves, Gnomes, Demons or Black People, Sinterklaas always has someone to help him deliver his gifts.

>all these elf hippies demonizing santa

Guess that it is gonna be yet another coal heavy Christmas.

>white people in black face

Why? Are we not allowed to assume people race now too?

Zwarte Piet isn't an african, but a mytholgical figure.

The resemblance, and prederiliction for mining coal, is why elves do not like dwarves

was talking bout the two white humans with shoe polish on their face,

I was trying to make you understand that it isn't black face when the figure you are representing isn't a black person.

fuck if i know im just a rock

to me its just some people with paint on the face

Fucking what mate?
Santa is a bloody saint, he wouldn't do anything wrong.

It's been lifted word to word from 3,5's Phb however.

From the 3.5 PHB, by the way.

The elves you're thinking of are memes and Tolkien.

Remember vampire Santa?

Elves were listed as chaotic good at least as far back as 1st edition AD&D.

Nope, in fact, quite the opposite

Yeah, throughout D&D the most common D&D elf stereotypes seem to come from non-D&D sources (lotr, warhammer, warcraft, etc).

D&D elves as-worded by the rulebooks seem to be less "snobby holier than thou magical dicks" and more "socially liberal isolationist woodsmen with the free time to dabble in magic/art/science/other hobbies/dating humans" who think you and your stuff is rad and all but could you kindly keep the fuck out of my garden.

How is that supposed to sound?

D&D haters who have never read the books.

I never get tired of it.

the eleves who stayed did so because they were loyal to santa
they are viewed as stockholm syndrome bet elves. also the reason they are so short

More like Helsinki syndrome, amirite?

>being this new to D&D

It makes sense when you remember how Lawful dwarves are and how much they hate each other.

Well, you should know, that most GMs do in fact run elves as snobby and tradition bound. Greyhawk style. You don't really see elven "free love everyone's welcome" communities, do you?

>You don't really see elven "free love everyone's welcome" communities, do you?
Enjoying your own freedom must not mean that you need to welcome everybody.

>most GMs

[citation needed]

>You don't really see elven "free love everyone's welcome" communities, do you?

It's always how I've imagined Elves in the games I run. They lean towards Chaotic rather than Lawful.

Where do dwarfs come from?

Well, you see, sometimes when a dwarf and a dwarfette like each other a whole lot, they do a little dance to summon the mole, which bursts out of the cave floor carrying a little baby dwarf in a bag carried in its freakish mole claws.

>You don't really see elven "free love everyone's welcome" communities, do you?
It's a secret society.
>The first rule of the Fuck Club is that you do not talk about the Fuck Club.
>The second rule of the Fuck Club is that you DO NOT talk about the Fuck Club.
>Third rule of Fuck Club: someone yells "stop!", goes limp, taps out, the fuck is over.
>Fourth rule: only two people to a fuck.
>Fifth rule: one fuck at a time, fellas.
>Sixth rule: No shirts, no shoes.
>Seventh rule: fucks will go on as long as they have to.
>And the eighth and final rule: if this is your first time at Fuck Club, you have to bottom.

Depends on what kind of freedom you mean by it. Since it can be used as a buzzword to excuse any action imaginable, no matter how unjustifiable, it helps to be specific.

If you mean the freedom of self-expression, to value oneself even when hated, to deviate from an arbitrary cultural standard for how a person "should" be, or to call out others on their harmful behavior, then yes, those are all social justice thoughtcrimes and anyone who commits them deserves to be tortures for their verbal sins.

If you mean the freedom to be a bullying asshole who harasses people to punish them for saying the wrong thing, then hides behind "freedom" whenever their asshole behavior is called out for what it is, then no, that's just how a heroic free man fights the good fight against CENSORSHIP and OPPRESSION of social justice.

If you mean the freedom to express political beliefs, or to judge political beliefs, then it depends entirely on what those beliefs are. You might think that it depends on whether you're honestly just supporting a point or harassing someone for making a point, since the entire point of free speech is to allow important issues to be discussed fairly, but the only real difference between FREEDOM (absolute good) and CENSORSHIP (absolute evil) is what sort of politics you're supporting.

dammit. I'm not turning up anything in the reverse search. Help a brother out?

>greyhawk style
they're CG in greyhawk too

Elves are significantly more "free love" than the vast majority of human communities, but they certainly aren't "everyone's welcome", because they know that leads to tyranny and degeneracy, which they actively hate. Of course, "unwelcome" and "treat them like shit" aren't necessarily mutual.

You have an incorrect prejudice, user. Hobgoblins and Dwarves are the Lawful humanoids, not Elves.

>>Fourth rule: only two people to a fuck.
>>Fifth rule: one fuck at a time, fellas.
>>Sixth rule: No shirts, no shoes.
This fuck club sounds boring

Dude, the absurd becoming plausible is magic. Its fuckin awesome.

And the beards.

Well they are fucking a wooden club so it's bound to be boring.

thread could have died between:
and
and
and
and
At some point you have to let go.

>Well, you should know
You are a stupid kind of person in a thread of stupid people.

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