Why can't elves into brewing?

Why can't elves into brewing?

What are you on about? Is there even a setting where elves don't at least make wine?

Why shouldn't they? On what setting do you base this idea?

cause their a bunch of pussy tree-niggers

It's a joke about wood alcohol, insinuating that elves brew it specifically because they live in forests.

Wood alcohol is methylated alcohol, or simply methanol. It is a byproduct, chiefly, of distilling liquors, most famously American moonshine; it is referred to as "the heads" in that tradition, since it is the first chemical produced in a distilling run, and is unsafe to drink.

Elves would never brew or distill alcohol anyway because that would require the senseless murder of countless seedlings of various species of flora, whose amylase enzyme is crucial in the process of producing ethanol.

>Wine

>Brewing

There's no steeping of solid matter involved, therefore it's not brewing.

This is also why they can't make tea.

Pretty sure desperate elves sip wood alcohol in a similar manner to australian abos and petrol

And now tell me in how many settings elves don't have alcohol for that reason.

Elves brew, but they don't let anyone else know about it because its simply too fucking strong.

If you drink a bottle of elvish spirits, you are drunk for like 4 years. This is fine for a partying elf, but tends to be deadly or simply life-ruining to anyone else. Their brewing is just too strong for you.

Hey, I'm just working off of OPs logic. "It's wood, that means elves!"

>elves can't experience the simple joy of drinking tea, the bloodiest product to ever hit international markets

elves need to apply themselves. how can they claim to be civilized if they don't drink tea

Elder Scrolls. Wood Elves don't harm any type of flora, therefore they presumably don't produce alcohol.

Maybe there's a way to create some form of alcohol from animals?

>Hey, I'm just working off of OPs logic
Maybe OPs logic is completely faulty to begin with?

>Elder Scrolls. Wood Elves
One of three wildky different playable elf races. Even less when you can't all Mer. Not saying your example is wrong, but it's rather specific.

Maybe posting on Veeky Forums can be fun and not 100% serious all the time.

Or maybe you're autistic.

Do animals produce amylase? I honestly don't know. If they do all you'd need is some form of simple sugar for the reaction.

>Ask for an example
>Give one
>Nuh uh

You're why Veeky Forums gets a bad reputation.

Discount this entire post, I'm drunk. Hopefully you can make some sense out of it.

I'll be dipped, they sure do. It's found in the pancreas and saliva.

So then all we need is some form of starch or glycogen, which is found in fat.

So if some crazy bastard out there wants to try a completely animal-based alcohol, there's your recipe. Your mash is animal fat, best if its from a heavy energy-storing region like the kidneys, and then dump in some pancreatic juice and saliva to start the reaction.

That sounds absolutely vile.

Now we're going places!

Elves make tea, brew wine and mead, and hunt for their meat. They're not tribal or primitive about it though.

They have tea parties, wine tasters, and grand hunts. They are not vegan pussies.

Their lives are aristocratic.

Too strong you say?

Sounds like something a nomad tribe with horses would make.

Like the Mongolians, but even more desperate for a cold one.

They do infact make a type of alcohol.
It involves fermenting meat and bugs.

They can use plants from outside Valenwood, user. They use imported wood and shit for building, and Wood Elves outside Valenwood eat plants all the time.

The Green Pact only applies to Valenwood and it's flora, nowhere else.

>He doesn't know about Jagga
Read "A Dance in Fire."

In most settings, Elves tend to drink mead or wine.

Turks are the world's biggest tea drinkers.

They're too busy sucking cock.

Look up kumis or airag. It's the fermented milk drink steppes asians actually made.