Mages Guild: Too Many Departments Edition

Necromancy deals with both domains. Dont kid yourself. Both disciplines dable with the lower planes and the beyond, at the basic.

Necromancy rules the domain of death, to which the spirits of the dead are bound.

What are you talking about Jones? You're not even an ectomancer, it's just necromancer, are you just retarded or something?

Where would we even merge?

Here is the coffee and pastries for the meeting

I disagree.
Honestly I believe the shocking level of debate on this topic arises from the fact that while the afterlife is wholly mapped out, We still disagree on what the maps tell us.
In short, We disagree on the afterlife even if we understand it.

...I do hope she doesn't hear you say that. She's got, ah...a bit of a hair temper trigger.

Just sayin'.

I wish I knew.

Thank you Mort. I expect a long day. And night.

>Summons a spooky ghost.
I don't even see the resemblence.
One requires bodies to work with in advance, We require spirits.
...Which afterlife are we talking about?
Those maps are illegible man.

Rolled 13 (1d20)

I won't rest until you and your zombie freaks are dead!
>mauls a skeleton

>Pokes his head in
I want to say my department is unique and has a healthy amount of students.
Plus I repay all taxes and debts for the department in a timely manner.

Like, oh my god, your department needs to stay!
Pictures or it didn't happen!
Basic. Bi-otch

Oh come on, why'd you have to go and do that!?

Poor Jeeves...

>Sighs

How does your department even exist? For real?

>Pulls out tax return documents and the like
I keep copies on my person at all times just for this purpose!
So ha!

wizzard's are gay fags who suck cock's
t. knoewledge possessor

DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT CLASSIFYING GOLEM CRAFTING AS NECROMANCY!
Necromancy is a TRUE art! Golem crafting is arts and crafts!

Ectomancy being reclassified as SUMMONING MAGIC!
I WILL CLAIM YOUR BEARD OLD MAN!
ONCE I REMOVE IT FROM YOUR HEAD!

I, for one, wholeheartedly support this action!

but only if you tell the tinmancers and leadmancers to say sorry

Rolled 18 (1d20)

>chainsaws the docs

82-B Was supposed to be filled out in triplicate, Other than that most of this is accurate. For those of you that are allergic to paperwork I figured I would vocalize this.

Archivists aren't even a department so I don't have much to add to this discussion, Besides mentioning that we could always create a new sorting system instead.

Oh my god, this is so fucking boring. Your department should be black flamed for being so bored!
Excuuuuuuuse me.

Your funeral.

...Well, cremation most likely.

Yep.

...And how in the nine hells did YOU get out of your cage? Back, back!

This is an outrage, we've made tremendous strides in vegetative studies!

Don't start none, ain't gonna be none, so you can tell your hot headed pimp that!

That had better be some good knowledge your smoking.
See, the guy has a point!
We should be a different department because our methods are DRASTICALLY DIFFERENT from the ground up!

Yeah, now it is. These are my documents from the last season I needed to pay.

Hey!
It is infinitely fun!
>Makes an ooze trampoline that doesn't stick to clothes or people

You got somethin' to say, toots? Better make it fast, I'm not going to stand idle while these injustices run afoot.
Nice rack, though

I could ask you the same question! What was your last meaningful contribution that improved life quality, and didn't invite violence upon the guild! Hmph!

Like, someone can snot and do that, EWWW
Nice bi's you grow those in the Fleshwarpers Square?

>Snaps fingers
>Suddenly, skeleton butlers!
You were saying?

You seek to contain me in a cage of lesser metals?! The mighty bismuth trumps all!

actually you forgot to lock it this time

Last season? Then you're missing 74-S which was replaced by said filling out of 82-B in Triplicate.

and I forgot what kind of wizard I was

I shall be joining you for the uhh... what's the time in your realms?

God, that was so boring that I am literally dying. This is why you were dumped.

Half past seven

Rolled 9 (1d20)

Just don't say I didn't warn you when she burns your clothes off.

You give the department a bad name, we've been OVER this!

And besides, I'm not keeping you in a cage, I'm keeping you...er, pure and un-alloyed!

>rolling bluff

8, Ish.
Far to far away from the spooking hour.

Rolled 15 (1d20)

Not after I burn your clothes off!
>fry

AM or PM foul metal-user?

>Snaps clawed phalanges
>Suddenly Brundlepenis
YOU were saying!

Alloyed metal or pure metal? PM of course!

It's those alloymancers that are giving us a bad name! It's not my fault their metal is too soft to be used on its own!

... that's gross.

vimeo.com/69828947
I can literally remove your department from the budget with three forms that nobody but me will read.
7:32:45 PM

Hum, sorry, if I may add, we low level students are being bombarded with exams from so many departments all claiming to be "essential disciplines for the aspiring mage" that we keep having to ask the department of Retro-Chronomancy to send us back in time so we can attend both exams. And you all know how... unreliable the Retro-Chronomancers can be, no offense to the honored magi.

I just wanted to make the Archwizard aware that according to documents signed by the predecessor of his predecessor when the Legalmancy Department was founded, it was granted a reprieve from any and all restructuring, downsizing, reorganizing or any other alterations or changes the Guild may or may not go through.

Failure to follow these agreements will result in a stiff fine and all rights, possessions, employees, thoughts and demiplanes to be turned over and immediately become property of the Legalmancy Department.

I thought I already settled that matter when I showed that I'm capable of doing the things the "Ectomancers" are doing.
Some of your methods might be different, but those methods were still invented by Necromancers. It's a form of Necromancy.

Were we not summoning socially irresponsible horrors?
>He says plainly

Sorry, MATE.
It's 11:30 'ere.

I'm getting forgetful...

Alloyed metal or pure metal?

Fireproofed cloak.
>Which Samantha wraps around herself, even if the rest of her outfit is torched.

...Excuse me.

I was summoning things that were useful.

Then I'll sue you, duh.
Nice cloak, but I think you're a bit drafty now!

Take this garbage back to .

Pure.

I went to the fleshwarping department once. Got more than just biceps, if you know what I mean

Ah, but thats just the thing oh esteemed head and potenitally my boss if this meeting goes in the direction it's looking.
The methods you refer to were invented by mystics! Long long ago before Necromancy even existed, many age old tribal societies have communicated with spirits for centuries!

Yes, But if you'll notice the Charter that your head signed Here, here, And Here, Combined with Form 63-D and Form 23-F and this form that was signed by his father, Entitles us to make changes to the contract at any time provided a relative of his signs this form, Which as you can see, His thrice removed twice estranged half-brother on his Mothers side has signed for the tidy sum of 50 GP and one KoboldBurger™ Brand Burger.
Therefore enabling us to alter the deal. Pray we do not alter it further.
I rather think that would be a bad idea. You don't seem like the lawyer type.

Wow, then they'd be quadceps, are you all brains!
I'll have you know, I know 50,000 lawyers.

>Chainsawmancer
Ya call that a tool mate?

Okay, then HAVE AT THEE
>Summons the prostickler 9'000, the leading device in holistic massage therapy

You're a dense one
>anonymous

And for centuries upon centuries such methods have been practised by us Necromancers. Or at least those of us who sees more in Necromancy than an endless hoard of skeletal minions. I've had a talk with the head of your sub-department, and I agree that our departments are better off having the Ectomancy sub-department for administrative reasons, but not because Ectomancy is it's own separate School of Magic. It's a sub-school, no more.

But not dense with this.
>jumps up and down

Can I make sentient penises?

So, my department isn't getting taken down, is it?
If so I call bullshit.

Sup Doss.

>RABBLERABBLERABBLE
>now look what you've done.

...That does not look safe for children.

>Lurco gives a thumbs up off in the distance

According to Contract Form 37-B however, such changes can only be made when the light of the moon reflects off the third planet in such a way that makes liminal aether visible to the naked eye.
As well, according to Form 28-E, 19-A, and 65-G signed by the Headmaster, the heads of the core guild departments and the janitor scruffy, all rights to changing the core agreement were waived in exchange for Legalmancy's assistance in sweeping certain incidents under the rug before they came back to bite the guild on the ass.

As well it was agreed that any attempts to alter the deal from the guild would strick the offending party from all known timeways.

>Keif scratches his chin
Mmhmm.. Interesting.
We tried that!
>Points and Brundlepenis
well, we aren't sure it's sentient
Of course not! This one is
>Poofs a much tinnier one in claw.

>Lazarus spots a rabble of Ectomancers
>Lazarus tosses personally written book on Ectomancy
Take this! And educate yourselves on what a Necromancer can do with "Ectomancy"!

...Please keep that away from any and all children.

I'm going to need to do some personal studies with you later....
>jumps some more

If you seek to degrade us then you have done so!
Also trying to end the argument by saying you spoke to the head, man that's cheeky
A Sub-School? You make us sound inferior. Despite the fact that our two key methods are drastically different.
Summoning and Raising are completely seperate.
Violence won't make you right!

Nice.

How would one create a department?

Pffffft, as if children had money for this thing
>It vibrates in place loudly at its mention
>He then clutches and it poofs away
>He checks his watch that he now has somehow
I'll schedule you in.

Honestly the mere act of quantifying you into any of the other departments would be more effort than its worth. Just don't push your luck.
Ah, but you forget Form 1, Signed by all mages, Which entitles The Guild to null forms signed by the Headmaster Bi-monthly provided they can prove that he was under the influence of mind-altering drugs at the time of his signature. And, as we all know, He is always under the influence of mind-altering drugs.
Form 28-E was nulled last month, 19-A the month before that and 65-G thirteen hours ago. With Form 1-C negating the requirement of informing Legalmancy department of these changes, you may find yourself at somewhat of a disadvantage now.
As for Contract 37-B, As we all know such an event occurred last night. Shortly after the Anullment of 65-G

...
>Cringes

>Rabbling intensifies!
This is Archaic!
Outdated!
Unusable!
Pointless!
Wrong!
Faulty!
>They don't shut up

>squeezes
>She flashes him, do to the nature of SuperPyromancy, it's pure light

Well, you need a bunch of dosh to help kick it off, or just rent a room.
And you also need to have more than two hundred spells already developed.

I never said the head agreed with me. And that guy is classy so I felt like including him.
I'll give you that, Summoning and Raising is different, but back in my days both Summoning Spirits and Raising Corpses were considered prime examples of Necromancy.

And I don't intend to solve this with violence. But I intend to use all the tools I have, including my recent work on your variant of Necromancy. And I hope variant sounds more to your liking than sub-school, because it's the best I got to offer.
Outdated!? I wrote that less than half a year ago!

You forget that Form 1 was written and developed by Legalmancy, and according to the bylaws and fine print of Form 1, Legalmancy is allowed to veto form nullification and well as necessitating that all forms go through Legalmancy for approval to keep certain quirks of the guild and it's departments out of the public eye.

This is also taking into account that any attempts to interfere with legalmancy will result in the associated department's funding being cut and certain late night activities of a number of Archivists being released to the public.

>Nods contemplatively

Cmon guys make us look bad, I'm trying to debate here.
...Thats equally degrading.
I find it odd that you seek to umbrella us under you when we have nothing to do with eachother.
If it were common for Necromancers to take Modules in Ectomancy and vice versa we wouldn't be having this debate.
But it doesn't happen, we're like oil and water.

You realize you just implied archivists have any activities of any note, Or a social life/night life to speak of? You've clearly lost this argument.
Or as they say, the Sink the ship to kill the captain gambit has just been used. Dare you make a followup move?

Great!

>Five minutes later.
>Contacts millions telepathically.

>10 minutes later.
How's this?
>Drops a bag filled with 10'000 pure gold coins.
I uh... heard they were cursed or something.

Well, you don't bribe me.
You bribe the Archwizard.

What's your opinion on pure metals and alloys, friend?

>the sunglasses absorb the light
Niceeee

What are you looking at?