Exterminatus has been ordered against your world. How do you survive?

I embrace the unravelling of my planet and give my soul unto the warp.

>Hitchhikers guide
>In the 40k Universe

That'd be kinda fun.

"Get my chariot."

>Long ago, the Eldar created the Chaos God Slaanesh. This was seen by many as a bad move"

Rowboat already looks like a stern Martin Freeman.

Isn't that the basic premise of Rogue Trader?

Join Chaos

"my" world? what do you mean by that? irl Earth? I die

Since when have Imperial cruisers had giant independence day style lasers on their keel?

What said, but provide everyone in the orgy with an obscene amount of Spook beforehand.

I dont

Invent Blood Bowl.

No more war, only playoffs.

I live on holy Terra ya dingus, as do we all. There is no exterminatus, this is the VILEST of heresy.

>famous last words

Gibusmann moved the God Emperor to Macragge.

By not being planetside.

fpbp

Never.

I'm assuming the artist is a Halo fan and copied the Covenant orbital bombardment.

???
youtube.com/watch?v=h67JpMyrOVE

That'd be Rogue Trader.

it has , earth is next wake up!!
we must arise and kill god!! or die.

Surviving a duly ordered exterminatus would surly be heresy. I ain't no heretic.

I teleport off world using warp fuckery. I'm probably why exterminatus was declared.

Just because you don't clean up your room in your mom's basement or bathe doesn't mean you're an agent of Nurgle.

The Imperium usually only orders an exterminatus on a world that's on the verge of being destroyed some other way. Those ways include:

>Massive Ork infestation
>Imminent Tyranid Invasion
>Necrons awakening on the world
>Chaos cults taking over the majority of the planet's populous.
>Chaos Daemons attempting to drag the planet kicking and screaming into the Warp

For me, personally, if I'm not already long gone from the planet before the shit above starts happening, I'll probably be welcoming the exterminatus as a final mercy.

Uh...mostly I'm curious as to why the Imperium wants to carry out an Exterminatus against Earth in the past.

I get the hell off the planet.

>Every time someone in the 40k universe figures out what the galaxy is all about a new edition launches.

>There is a theory which states that if ever anyone discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable.

>There is another theory mentioned, which states that this has already happened.

10 times now, give or take.

It takes a lot more than that to become a daemon prince. Dark Eldar do it all the time, and even non-chaos factions in the Imperium do. You have to do some real important shit to a chaos god before they expend some of their power to make you ascend. An orgy and some torture won't even make Slaanesh give half of a fuck to bother with you.

I punch the cyclonic torpedoes
and then I punch the ships
and then the inquisitor who ordered it
also
>pls dont ebolaids exterminatus

As a man unfamiliar with warhams in general, what exactly is that?

I do not. The Emperor has ordered this planet cleansed. That includes me. The Emperor protects.

Hm, if it's because of the stuff that an Exterminatus usually calls for (a la Chaos invasion), then I would probably welcome it as a mercy killing, sparing us from the eternal Hell that is the Warp. If it's just the Imperium being a bunch of paranoid nuts as per usual, then I probably join Chaos.

"FUCK YOU, I'M JOINING CHAOS!"

heh

>"The Inquistion" reads the Guide. "is a highly militaristic and religious order hell bent — never mind the irony — on maintaining the Imperial Doctrine. Should you ask one of them to explain the importance of their order, no doubt you'd receive a speech rivalling one of Tzeetch's endless anecdotes before getting "bolted"; but outside their order, the general consensus is that they're a bunch of self-important bipedal hair-triggers to a comically oversized artillery, whom are likely only so anal in all they do, because they can't think of a way to deal with their frustration about how they'll never look as bad ass or threatening as Khorne's servants. Though they do in fact try."

Jump through the Webway, come out in the Throneroom & bitch slap the golden mummy sitting on it.

m.youtube.com/watch?v=NNc242mbiUs

Okay I know it whipes out a planet, but like what is it? All that shows is giant space lazers, are they just high power weapons?

Jokes on them, I got tithed to the guard.

The lasers are just to destroy high priority targets, like spaceports.

The actual "exterminatus" is one of many things; in that particular example, it's that giant supernuke you see about halfway through; a cyclonic torpedo, I believe.

Your world better have a fleet to stop the ship or fleet they send to do the job. If the better part of a charpter fleet shows up good luck. But if it is just a single strike cruiser it maybe be doable.

Keep in mind the IoM almost never orders a Exterminatus against a world that is rebelling by itself. Those worlds are very retake-able. It orders Exterminatus against worlds that it either can not retake or the cost of retaking is well past the future value of the world. Seeing as the IoM thinks in the very long term this means even a rather shitty world has a lot of value in their eyes.

Die of old age before the exterminatus fleet even reaches the sector because of Warp fuckery.

I jump into space and just punch all the ships to pieces before they can even begin to fire, before returning to the planet to live my humble life, wondering why some people must insist on pointless violence.