You're stuck in a cell

I left through the door and ask, what button?

Probably lockpick the immovable Rod, it has a button so there is some kind of mechanics to it. I'd have to need more specifics on how the button is not pressable to explain more.

they (generally) disable the immovable rods

Hang on, are these immovable rods, or Truly Immovable Rods?

I'm assuming I'm not a caster, because that would make this much less fun.

How was I out in here?
How am I provided food?
How is my waste dealt with?
What can I see through the bars?
Is the cage a complete cube? What's the floor like?
Is there anything else in the cage? Bed or wastepan?

But they're immovable. By its definition this would mean the button could not move them

>cast teleport
>laugh

the bars are immovable, but you never said anything about walls

the button disables/actives the immovability

I cast antimagic field.

>How was I out in here?
You don't have any memory of why you are here
>How am I provided food?
The guards hands you a cup of oatmeal everyday between the bars
>How is my waste dealt with?
You make the waste in the cup and hand it back to the guard
>What can I see through the bars?
The red is your FOW
>Is the cage a complete cube? What's the floor like?
The floor is the same material as the walls (and the roof)
>Is there anything else in the cage? Bed or wastepan?
You have a mattress

i'm going to just stay in here, so i can shit in a cup and know that someone has to deal with it. good day.

are immovable rods immovable in the sense that their molecular bonds won't flex?

Because if that's true you should be able to cause major damage to the wall by pulling on them

If they're stuck in space and literally can't move out of position, just start chipping away at the wall around the bars as you've apparently got the best anvils on the planet to work with

In What side of the wall are the rods placed, relative to the Earth's current direction of travel?

also, checked

What material is the wall/door made of?

How long does the guard stay in the area a day?

In total 3 guards watch these cells 8 hours a day each. They are nice enough to give you some privacy while you're shitting on a cup though.

The wall material is brick.
>by pulling on them
but you cant pull em. Remember they're immovable.

Then they're not immovable

You're so fat you BECAME the cell.

I rip apart my mattress and fashion a crude dress. Time to go prison gay for one of the guards.

Next level pedantics

there's no door tho..

If we're talking current characters then my ranger lets his snek companion slip through and press it for him. If we're talking about me as a person then I wait until the guard comes to give me my oatmeal and proceed to throw it at the button once I've filled it with waste (fuck risking muh oats) when he leaves. Worst come to worst I'll try to grab and bash the guards head against the bars and try and throw whatever he may have on his body at the button.

Then I take particularly long and loud suits and slowly chip away at the bricks. The guards will be so embarrassed, they won't bother me or look me in the eye afterwards, and I can get to those buttons eventually.

Well shit. Then I guess I'll pretend I'm a princess trapped in an ivory tower and sleep on my pile of mattress stuffing.

dandwiki.com/wiki/SRD:Immovable_Rod
guys read the wiki on these

...

I laughed way harder than I should have. Do you mind if I save that?

That would only be half a press though, does that activate it?

>twingolem for DnD
I didn't know how much I wanted this.

Well, duh.

Nope. You can actually move them by applying more than 5000 pounds of force.

>a dude with a baseball bat can dislodge immovable rods

It's 8000 pounds actually.

So let's see. Force = mass * acceleration.
We assume the movement to push the bar is similar to that of the bench press. Here is a chart of benchpress acceleration: researchgate.net/figure/311877937_fig2_Fig-2-Typical-bench-press-acceleration-characteristic-stable-base
I think for the purposes of this situation we can round it to about 7.5_g.
from the equation 5000N=m*7.5_g we can solve the mass to be around 680 pounds.
Think about that! With just a bench press of 700 pounds you could force your way out. A lvl 10 orc barbarian should be able to do that - easily!

I wait for the few seconds that it'll take for them to fly off in a random direction. If they're truly anchored in that spot in space, then it won't take long until the universe moves far enough that I can just climb out the window.

I walk out after the planets orbit causes the rods to tear the wall off the prison and carry it off into space.

"Selectively Moveable Rod" doesn't sound as impressive.

Are you looking at the same chart I am, because I'm not seeing anything close to 7.5g on the one you linked.

>Paladin
>Somehow ending up in a prison run by people who let out others on good behaviour

I want to skullfuck you

I use a small portion of the granola bar in my pocket to attract a bird through the window. As the bird leaves he will sharpen his beak on the bars of the windows. When the bars have thus been worn away, then a single day of eternity will have gone by.

...what were we talking about?

That'll show him to return books to library past the return date.

Well we'll obviuosly ignore negative acceleration because we are only concerned with 'push' portion of the lift.

Uh... that just makes it worse, since the peak is less than 2g.

a press is a press you can't say it's only half

>all this dumb "haha le orbiting planet xd" wankery
dnd universe doesn't have orbits or planets you daft cunts.

Actually it does, though the details vary by the setting. Ever heard of spelljammer?

Spelljammer is not the default setting.

>dnd universe
Dumbfuck.
Eberron spins.

I admit. it's closer to 0.6

this got me

NOT THE DEFAULT

forgottenrealms.wikia.com/wiki/Category:Planets

>forgotten realms
NOT THE FUCKING DEFAULT

It is as of 5e.

This is obviously a 3.5 thread.

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Oerth

>Greyhawk
Do I even need to say it

You said 3.5. Greyhawk is the default setting of 3.5.

I shit along the corner of the cell, wrapping my hair around my log each day. I continue this, using approximately 1/3 of my daily shit so that the guards cannot necessarily realize that I'm shorting them in my shit cups. After long enough I should have enough shit to reach this magic button. I let it sit and dry until it is harder than even these immovable bars. Now I have a straight rod to hit the button with; but how to distract the guards?

...

>implying I can't make a DC 30 strength check.

Weaklings

I'll push the walls. They aren't immovable.

Sorry, but your GM's homebrew shitfest isn't the default setting no matter what lies he tells you. Kindly fuck off.

...

Oh god

...

Objectively wrong
youtu.be/kpk2tdsPh0A

kek

>my life is so unfilling that I spend my days telling lies in the internet
Why haven't you killed yourself yet?

LORDY

Break the law for the sake of good. Paladins are lawful good, if a law is unjust it is a Paladin's duty to attempt to fix the law even if it means breaking it.

A law can never be unfair if it's a law. Justice follows the laws.

The point is, that if you're in a kingdom where the lawful rulers of the land won't listen to a literal anointed champion of justice, whose every statement is backed by the doctrine of the gods, then those rulers are not the kind of rulers who let people off on good behaviour.
That laws themselves are not Lawful Good.

>Being this mad at me being wrong
Calm down lad it's a shitposting thread.

>A law can never be unfair
Sure it can. Despite what everyone seems to think, law isn't bound to ethics or morality.

The paladin isn't bound to ethics or morality. He follows the laws of the land.

Wtf krillin

No, he follows the laws of his god. If they conflict with the laws of the land, that means the laws of the land are wrong.

What the fuck are we talking about. Gods don't exist.

Um.
A Paladin is a champion of his chosen god or concept.
He's literally empowered by whatever deity governs his system of belief.

If he were to venture into a land that has been conquered by Vecna, the only laws he would be following would be the ones that don't go against his system of belief. He wouldn't give any mandatory donations to the local necromancer guild, just because it's in the law that he must. He'd just take out his sword/cudgel/what have you when informed of it's existence and go on a merry little venture to say hi.

>Gods don't exist.
Woah lad.

Neither do paladins.

So this is futile.

...

I think you're on the wrong board, mate. Are you sure you didn't mean to go to /sp/ instead?

Neither do paladins, sperglord.

Check-mate, disgusting deist.

I break the wall. There is not many benefits to being monk or monk like character but this is one of them.

You'll need to make whole prison as an artefact item stone to stop me.

...