Edgy Replies

>"You seem a little too young to be an adventurer."

Give me your worst.

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You seem a little too old to be a whore.

"I've lived more pain already than you ever will, let me give you a taste."

But mate that's a great one, best chuckle I've had today.

"And you seem a little too young to die, but you're about to if you don't shut it."

"and you seem a little too stupid to live"

You seem a little too stabbed to be alive!

Y-Y-You too.

Gold.

If we're going for edgy:
>"Old enough to tear your head off and eat it, bitch. I hear elves pair great with a red wine."

No response, just kill the person.
Linkin Park is mandatory.

>Edgy Replies
*teleports behind you*
*sheathes katana*
*you die without even relising *
nothing personnel... kid

I'm old enough to drink from your skull.

Tell that to the raiders to burned my village. They didn't think I was too young to see my parents killed in front of me. Or to young to be fucked and passed around camp for everyone to get a turn.

Happiness is a warm gun. Bang bang, shoot shoot.
>two deagles for maximum edge

hot

I am an elf.
My underwear is older than your civilisation jerk

Thanks, you too.

"Well, sir, let me tell you. I may not know how to read and write, but I know the quickest way to a man's heart is between his fourth and fifth rib, if you understand me."

Well the jerk store called, and their running out of you!

Best one.

Do not make such a scary face. It spoils your cuteness.

Of course, with so little to offer I can understand why you'd want to cover it up. Show it off, little princess, I dare you!

"You seem a little too old to be playing board tabletop games. Get a job."

"Knowledge only means complicity in guilt; ignorance has a certain dignity."

"Regimes may fall and fail, but I do not."

"After a long and very careful deliberation, I have decided to extend the ransom money on a big party. Just impossible to decide between my two faves. So, I’ve decided to keep the cash, have a whizzy-jolly time and try to forget both of you. Hope you’re not too miffed Bye!"

>We are talking of good and evil problems

"I had no idea you had a theological bent."
"Ahhh...a problem for the church to deal with."

...

"For the God's sake! Must you flash about your petty private little conscience? Don’t think anybody else has got one? Have you no conscience about the survival of the government? And you want to blow it all in a fit of moral self-indulgence!"

"Better start running, because the boogie man is comming to eat you up!"

"Just because you’ve caught something nasty, why do you have to breathe over everyone?"

- Awwww.... The pretty widdle princess wants to face me all alone?

Yeah, yeah, “this polluted world itself is to blame” and all that. Tell me something I don’t know slime.

Well, duh. Of course, I don't play fair! Where’s the fun in that?!

No contract is ever an impediment to cheating.

You see, us firing squads are a bit like taxmen, sir, everyone hates us, but we're just doin' our job, 'aven't we, sir? We aim to please. Just a little firing squad joke there

You see, sir, I take pride in the terminator service I
supply. So, is there any particular area you'd like us to go for, hmm?
I can aim anywhere.

"You came all this way just for a little adventure. Things must be dull in your mansion. You royal types must be really bored."

That’s a contradiction of terms. You can be open or you can be government.

"I won't bother killing you, but I will teach you a lesson you'll never forget."

When we get back, you’re gonna massage me SO hard. Or maybe I can teach you some new tricks.

Perhaps a motto for our enterprise? "Blessed are the meek.. for they shall be slaughtered!"

SOMEONE LEFT THE ORPHANAGE UNGUARDED!

BIG MISTAKE.

"FUCK YOU."

Haha, more satisfied customers :)

I'm sure she'll make a lovely wife for you.

>Be he foe or friend, be he foul or clean,
brood of Morgoth or bright Vala,
Elda or Maia or Aftercomer,
Man yet unborn upon Middle-earth,
neither law, nor love, nor league of swords,
dread nor danger, not Doom itself,
shall defend him from Fëanor, and Fëanor's kin,
whoso hideth or hoardeth, or in hand taketh,
finding keepeth or afar casteth
a Silmaril. This swear we all:
death we will deal him ere Day's ending,
woe unto world's end! Our word hear thou,
Eru Allfather! To the everlasting
Darkness doom us if our deed faileth.
On the holy mountain hear in witness
and our vow remember, Manwë and Varda

"I say a year in the gutters is worth two in the spires. Want to test me?"

Ribbon is a girl?

"I'm not an adventurer kind Sir, but that lunatic with the false chin, smithing sides back over there, is my father. Listen, I do not have much time, but you have to help me before he does it to me again... p.. pp.. please..'

...

"Mommie dearest said that if you haven't fucked three grown men with a shortsword by ten you're no good as a murderhobo."

"You'll be thirty-one! Would you like rusty or serrated?"

Aren't you a little short for a Stormtrooper?

fpbp

Heh, nice

youtube.com/watch?v=8i8-60DEikk

"You speak irrelevancies."

MY PARENTS ARE DEAD

"Yes, yes I am."

...

I actually wanted to make a princess character for a campaign, but I have no idea how to respond except
>Shut up, filth!
Which admittedly is lame.

Are you a pyromancer? Because that's one hell of a burn.

She used to be flatter before, but she seems to have grown up a little over the years.

blown the fuck out on many levels

>It was a hologram

If I take that off, will you die?

There is no truth only degrees of lies.

>Most sophisticated of cultures
>Admits to not changing her underwear
I detect a minor flaw in this plan.

The cruelest insults are personal, so you have to give us a target with enough depth that the stab can go deep. Everything else is just taking the piss.

Is your ass jealous of the amount of shit that just came out of your mouth?