"You dont see anything suspicious"

>"You dont see anything suspicious"
>"that's what you are sure of, at least"

"You enter the dungeon"
>rolls
>pause
>writes something down
"So what do you do?"

>Just being curious. HOW do you open the door?

>walking into the courtyard you see
*rolls
>a gazebo with a table set in the middle, and a nice picnic luncheon on the table
>oh you try some of the tea?
>it tastes like
>can I see your character sheet?
*rolls
>it tastes like tea
>a little sweet for your taste
. . .
>Can I see your sheet again?

I loved putting my players through this one

>Forever DM
>I attack the monster
>Can you describe how you attack it?
>I don't know I just stab it

>Had a player roll a monk
>He was a professional muay thai fighter IRL
The flavour text man it was incredible

I don't understand this kind of player. I never said " I attack" or "I use X power" I describe the actions of my character and maybe point to the power I have in mind for it.

If I try this my DM thinks I'm making a called shot and I get disadvantage on the attack roll.
Fuck me right?

What the DM wants is for you to say what you're TRYING to do, not declare an action as if you've already done it. It helps the DM tell the story alongside the players and gives them something to go on instead of trying to come up with a different attack description for every player.

>"The wizard's expression sours as he hears your words"
>"What's everyone's AC again?"

>Go ahead and roll a Constitution saving throw
>"I got an 8 total"
>Ok

by far my favorite

>roll perception
>"I got a *big number* total"
>you don't see anything
>"But I got a *big number*!"
>yeah I know
The players begin to prepare to fight some high level shit that can hide from their high perception roll.
EVERY FUCKING TIME, this people don't learn.

> Looks clear.

And you fuckers wonder why your players metagame.

>Spotting a gazebo.
>Not immediately drawing your weapon to slay the beast.

>Having your player roll perception so that they can see the total and metagame whether they think it's accurate or not

Nyet

Part of the thought process, at least for me, is that not every single combat maneuver is going to be a work of art. Sometimes, at the end of the day, you're covered in blood and grime and you're just desperately trying to kill the thing before it kills you. So, yeah, a ragged cry or a grunt, but you're not focusing on looking pretty.

I once told my player in that situation, as a joke because he wouldn't accept he saw NOTHING with his high roll, that he spotted a beetle on the far side of the room 'acting suspiciously'

>"We follow it"

fml

Never anything about looking pretty.
>I strengthen my grip and grit my teeth
>I slash forward with the weight of my body and hope that no blood enters my eyes this time

>I start chanting and moving my hands, a hot air starts flowing from the base of my feet, the drops of sweat that touch the ground start hissing and boiling.
>I concentrate my will on the components on my hand and throw them at the enemy.

This is mechanically the same as:
>I attack
>I cast fireball

This. My players never roll Perception, Stealth, Checks against disease, some Disable Device checks, Knowledges, and other dice rolls where the results would not or should not be immediately apparent to the player. Allowing it does nothing but encourage metagaming and should be a practice no DM allows.

I think this is fine. It just means the PCs have developed Paranoia and PTSD from their lives of constant violence.

>"Everyone! Weapons out!"
>"What, did you see something?"
>"No, I mean... I don't think so, but... did you hear that?"
>"FIREBALL! FIREBALL THE DARKNESS!"

>are you sure ?

>"So we will stay for the night"
>"oh... *chuckle* ok..."

and also

>"the first word that came into your mind when you saw this man is "bland" "

That's a really interesting question... I'm actually in favor of what you've said (and that's exactly what I am doing at the table), I've even saw a GM (for CoC) who rolled all the dice behind the screen, even combat roll and so on, and it just give another vibes to all the game. But even if as a DM I'd prefer that, the players' point of view is different, they might feel that they do not have any incidence on what is happening, and also, even if the DM is truthworthy, that he might fudge the rolls...

>"I warhammer it."

I've been in a group where I stopped to describe my actions since it "took too many time to describe, and fights are long, so just roll the dice"

I'm with this, I save the cool descriptions for crits, bloodied HP, killing blows, or Encounter and Daily powers. Other whitehits aren't worth taking time to highlight.

Yeah, also, I'm not an improvisation god with infinite imagination, so trying to flavor the 15th ray of frost of the session can become quite difficult...

>your spellbook is actually just a vast thesaurus that has more synonyms for your spell names than MTG does for red burn spells.

that's actually a very nice idea...

>I [weapon] it a question
FUCK YOU BARRY, IT ONLY WORKS WHEN IT'S AN AXE.

>you can still cast your spells if you don't have the book, you just don't want sound lame around that really cute gnome girl you've been smitten with.

>I explosive moustache a question
BARRRYYYYYYY.

>"When the problem comes along, I whip it. Whip it good."

>Let me rifle through your brain for some info
IT WAS ME, BARRY

That doesn't happen in good games so there is no problem :^)