Field Kit Inspection: Not Enough Bug-spray Edition

present!

>looking quizzically at the colonel
With all due respect, Jeff never looks good.

Well I did lose an arm and got sick, but no one really responded there
Didn't Barrington pass that roll?

Present sir!
May I ask a question sir?

>Despite everything, still exists.

>Despite lacking three limbs; He seems to have somehow forced several Guardsmen to carry him to the Lineup in a stretcher.

About that Jeff, I was thinking... couldn't we just reattach the arm if we found it? Looks like that's already happened before, I mean.

It depends, do you have three thousand years of surgical experience and in creating crimes against nature,and at least one extra limb?

....... I can neither confirm nor deny that fact

the swamps huh ?
by the tau'va i hope we won't be staying too much

Jeez, I was just asking man

Then I suppose you should lead us to where we have to go.

>Matthias would frown at the sight of Wolfe.
>The poor man shouldn't be down here like this. Let alone on a battlefield.

Good to see you. Wolfe.

hey long time no see Wyvern

How do you function dude bro?

And I just answered, because I'm honestly wondering if anyone here has

>Either in deep denial or completely and utterly unwilling to stop fighting, Wolfe insists to Matthias that he is still able to fight.

>Illya would be situated by Wolfe. Keeping an eye on his vitals and current condition.

..... Maybe

If I may have your attention for a moment gentlemen. To generate some biofuel for the fleet, at least the quota required for the next jump to another refueling station I'm going to need... a lot of bodies. Plantlife too. Almost any matter can be worked on to help aid the process, from actual fuel to be obtained from plants or certain substances digged underground, servitors helping the flow of fuel go on, obtained from prisonners of war or warring tribesmen who are following the wrong patron *ahem* Heretics *ahem*. Or even minerals like coal among may other things.

As for you soldier, how do you feel about Bionics, young man?

I see. Do you always sound sarcastic?
>he shakes his head, turns back to the lieutenant, does up his vest

Hmmm why don't you sit in a modified wheelchair chap? I mean you could attach a las or even a las-cannon and fight like that
Also I'm healthy as a grox colonel, haha

well, anyone has a big knife ?
i doubt my power hammer can harvest plantlife correctly

So what you are saying is, shoot a lot of shit? I can do that
>unholsters boltgun

>Illya would be surprised by the Tech-priest's offer.

With all do respect, Arch Magos. The man's body has almost completely rejected any attempt at bionic replacement. If we tried again, it'll only harm him!

>Large grotesque with sereval planks that resemble an arm lodged in his stump approaches Illya
Umm good day Ms.Mirabelle, could you do something about my missing arm?
Ehhh...my arm most likely rotted away in that nurglite swamp anyways, shame too it's the last limb I have that was originally mine
Okay, lead the way Deph

Oh course Archmagos! Is there any particular place we should search in?

With all due respect. You haven't tried it with my skills, hospitaller.
>His tone sounds almost caring.
>Almost.

For the time being I should remain here. Making sure our fuel supplies are well administered and don't run dry until we have enough supplies.

I'm not going to lie, the nurgle followers of this planet burn real well when hit by a flamer or a melta weapon. I have a strange feeling we can use them as fuel too.

I believe I can get it done, I do have experience with your particular type of biology

Feral camps of heretics is the most likely place we can find viable sources of fuel as civilizations generally gather around bountiful materials... and somehow the pustules on these heretics appear to be flamable, possibly from the consumption of said materials.

well here we go !
who's following me ?

Rolled 27 (1d100)

Okay, I'll pick up some branches and plants for fuel while were waiting
>Roll for amount of fuel he finds
I see...hmm now that I think about it, you do kinda look familiar from one of the slave pit

Rolled 15 (1d100)

>Her lips would form into a frown at his words.
And with all due respect, Arch magos. I'm one of the best Churgeon in this regiment. His body just can't accept them!

>Illya's eyes would go wide at the abomination before her.
>She would be confused not only by the fact that it was still allowed to stay with the regiment. But the fact that it was wishing for her to reattach a half eaten arm.
>Sighing, she nods her head. Knowing her orders.

Very well... But I want to run some tests on you. Just in case....
>Switching on her churgions kit, she would walk forwards, and prepare to take a blood sample.

Now then... This might hurt a bit...

>Rolling for tests.

Well I wouln't really call them civilized, but fair enough, is there any settlement nearby?

>His remaining arm shoots up, and grasps at the Archmagos, he politely asks that he commence the surgery.

GO BACK TO QUEST

Umm I wanted a new arm, this is just arm I found to add to fuel...the only thing I found really
>Tests would reveal that he has blood...that's about it
>It also is filled with copious amounts of chemicals, some of them are known

Rolled 86 (1d100)

let's see i'd need some blood ichor, osseovirals, macrosteroids a screwdriver, a banana and some kalma
let me seem how much i've got on hand
>rolling for supplys

Rolled 56 (1d100)

>She nods her head at the results. Finding no traces of "Zombie plague" in the creature's blood work, oddly enough.

Very well. I'll see what I can do. I'll have to use emergency bionics. They'll only last a few days before shorting out. So I'll replace them when we get back to the ship with more permanent ones.

In the meantime...
>Rolling to install temporary bionics.

My tech is not the usual cheap bionics you'd generally be given by a lesser magos, Hospitaller, I'm an archmagos...
...And the patient is willing. So, with your permission I shall take him to the operating table.

Oh we saw some on the north, I'll mark them on your Auspex.
>Brings out datapad to do so.

...

wow, I acutally have it all in stock
let me just prep the field surgery

>Jeff checks his new arm
Ehh not the best, but also not the worst, thank you Illya!

Rolled 14, 17, 14, 1, 19 = 65 (5d20)

>Horus would attack the man violently

roll for recolting plantlife

Ah I see. Now who's up for an attack at a heretic settlement!
Oh not you again...what was I supposed to do at this situation, ah yes!
>Barrington hits him with a broom

Rolled 6 (1d100)

forgot to roll

Rolled 9, 19, 8, 10, 4, 19, 19 = 88 (7d20)

MUHAHAHAHA, YOU CANNOT HURT ME WITH SOME PATHETIC BROOM!

I HAVE OBTAINED BROOM PROOF ARMOUR

>Horus would decapitate the man, rending him in two as he did it

So... where are the closest things I am sanctioned to shoot?

Just ignore the shitposting

Just go back to retconia chap!
>He sprinkles him with water

Rolled 45 (1d100)

*humming while he work*
tum tum tadum
>roll for recolting

Follow trooper Von Gladstone, he's got the location on the auspex for the closest tribal heretic settlement.

Oh course chap, I'm right behind you.

NOOOO, MY ONLY WEAKNESS!

This will do nicely. If we add extra supplies just to make sure we should reach the next refueling station without trouble.

Will do sir!
>he turns around, lock-step
>throws up

>show him the plant
should i take more ?

Rolled 25 (1d100)

>Jefferson is looting plantlife
>Roll for finding
Eeeeehhhh I might as well come
Take you time Gelt, I have temporary prosphetic at the moment

... are you alright?

If you pelase. These ships... they take time to refuel. The more we have the faster we can get to it.
>He'll take the herbs offered.

okie dokie

do you know where is gladstone ?

well, I would tell you this won't hurt but we both know thats a blatant lie. So I will tell you that these chemicals will get your body to grow a new bone an muscle and flesh and sinew to replace the lost arm and that it will hurt enough to make the Emperor feel sympathy. It won't be instantaneous but by the end of the day you should have a new arm.

I am fine sir! Just a mild hangover! Now LET'S KILL THE LOCALS!

He went north, towards that pathway, followed by a small squad.
>Points.
You may reach them yet if you go after them now.

okay !
>get on his way

Eeeehhh it can't be worse than what that haemonculi was doing, so...

>follows Gladstone
>VERY closely

Im using the same techniques, except rushed, in the middle of a swamp and with you conscious
It might be worse.

HEY HEY
>get his breath
PLEASE SLOW DOWN

If I still had eyes I'd blink twice right now.
This regiment both amuses and surprises me given it's... variety.

Well now. Trooper Wolfe, was it?
Given that the sister hospitaller hasn't answered my request before moving on to opperate the next patient I'm afraid I'll have to take your opinion for the bionic operation, and you're a willing patient. So. Let me help you towards my... lab.

Okay chap, now our group
>He points at the rank and file guardsmen with one leman russ
Will assault the main gate of their settlement, I will stay here and snipe the leadership...I don't know what you'll do though

what if we get them out of the base and we tend an ambush ?
i'll be the bait

He was very imaginative when it came to using such equipment...and what may have once been lobsters, at least I hope those were lobsters. And he wasn't that much into sanitation

I thought about using a wooden leman russ, but if you want to be bait then go on chap

I will shoot heretics. Probably close to my family.
>readies boltgun
>no ammo
Uhh... do you have a lasgun I can have? Trade you a boltgun

Why not a wooden baneblade?

no actually a wooden leman russ is perfect

*get his pulse rifle *
i'll be in position

Ummm
>Barrington picks up lasrifle from some skeleton nearby
Eh this should still be working

Thank you, kind sir!
>Johnnie gets into position for some slaughterfucking

Rolled 97 (1d100)

>roll to see movement of enemy

they are aproching the bait

>Company sets up wooden russ and prepares for ambush
Okay chaps be quiet...
>+2 on attack rolls because ambush

>do a ok hand sign
>take aim
>whisper to himself
now begin the moment of extreme patience

QUEST, GO TO IT!

>Several Guardsmen, at Wolfe's command, haul up the stretcher he is lying on, and they make to follow the Archmagos.

Hey guys *braces ass* I-Im *tries to hold in fart* nnnnnew here *starts to squeeze out fart* sorry I get excited when I meet new people *small fart turns into loud roar* oh no oh no *fart turns to shit* oh no *shits pants* I'm so sorry

>He walks as he speaks.
For years I've been trying to design a betterment of human bionics. A higher level of understanding. Something that can't be possessed, or broken by chaotic influence but neither can it be overwhelming to use for the mind of a human without studies of the mechanicum or the need of turning the subject into a servitor.

>Once on the room he'd spread a blueprint.

Luckily my studies on necron technology have made me wiser on the subject and managed me to adapt general bionics to a useful architechture for mankind.

I can give you back your limbs albeit they won't look the normal, cheap, mass produced bionic ones... If... you're willing to accept, that is. You'd be both a test subject as you'd be the first one to ever use this tech, as well as a whole man again.

>approach the leman russ
huh guys ? when did a tank appeared ?

..............
can't you just replace his limb normally?
im all for experimentation but can't test out the unproven technique on someone we don't mind losing?

Rolled 12 + 2 (1d20 + 2)

>Barrington takes a shot in complete silence

I know we won't loose him. Normal bionics would kill him, The lady hospitaller already said that.

>Shambling out from the brush, would be eight tribals.
>Each of their bodies would be bloated and fat. Their one fair skin now pale malformed. Each limb covered in constantly forming and popping boils, as well as long pink tentacles that swirl and swat at the air around them.
>Each of their faces would bear a menacing grin that would stretch from ear to ear. As if they were happy about such painful changes.
>Floating behind them, on metallic wings with constantly spinning turbines. Would be a pure abomination of both rusted machinery and putrid flesh.
>Long, flesh covered wires drag along the ground underneath it, and a single, blood red crystal eye sits atop two massive las-cannons, as the foul machine scans the area around it.