Excuse, Divine Valar, but in the first third of Fellowship of the Rings, Aragorn and the Hobbits are ambushed by Ringwraiths on their way to Rivendell. Near the outskirts they are saved by an elf named Glorfindel, who uses magic to flood a river and his swordsmanship to defeat all of the Ringwraiths. Why wasn't he part of the Fellowship? He sounds way more useful than Boromir, Gimli, and any of the hobbits besides Frodo.
Excuse, Divine Valar, but in the first third of Fellowship of the Rings,...
Because he had to depart for the Grey Havens.
He didn't defeat the Ringwraiths with his sword, just juked them with magic water near Rivendell.
He was considered as a member of the Fellowship but it was decided he actually wouldn't be much use for the quest's sneakybeaky agenda. Having an ancient and powerful Elflord in the party would attract too much attention.
How many years have people been trying to force this shitty meme?
any of the hobbits besides Frodo.
Funny way to spell Sam there OP.
He's a big red "LOOK AT ME FEGGET, I KILLED A BALROG IN MY FORMER LIFE. SAURON OLD BASTARD HOW ARE YOU DOING?", not exactly the kind of dude you want to have with you if you want to sneak the ring past Sauron to destroy it.
It just one sad, sad faggot.
Even the trolls that helped him spam it when they realized Veeky Forums hates forced memes gave up on it long ago.
too noteworthy, they'd have been harrowed by twelve times the forces that already went after them
these threads are a blast from the past
He was briefly considered to be a member of the Fellowship of the Ring, but was later ruled out: his power would be of no use in a mission of secrecy to Mordor.
kys, you thread-recycling, meme-forcing cunt
I took a 3 year break from Veeky Forums to go live in /pol/, glad to see this meme is still around.
Regale us again with your explanation for why ignoring threads that you don't like causes OP to keep making them, but making upset noises whenever you see the thread discourages OP from making them.
Because you've been replying to these threads with upset noises for the past few years, and OP is still making them.
Because they wouldn’t have anything to autistically screech about otherwise.
Living in /pol/
user, i take the occasional mind opening strolls into /pol/, but no one in there is genuinely living
OP is just going to keep trying regardless.
Usually it ends up getting him banned and his threads deleted, and then he goes into hiding again for several months, hoping a rotation of mods and janitors means everyone's forgotten his spamming and shitposting. But, /tg/'s memory is long, and you're just sailing for another series of escalations until you get banned again.
So, yeah. Fuck you.
Nonsense, CYOAs haven't been banned yet, and just last week I saw a worldbuilding thread. There's plenty of badwrongfun for them to complain about.
You act like people won't always call you out as a faggot spammer. There's no poiny in trying to get people to stop pointing out that you're an annoying, obnoxious little shit.
"Oh, look at me, look at me, I've got shitty photoshops I use to ask pointless questions I don't actually care about that I've asked ten times before!"
Here's your (you). Now go crawl back under the shithouse you hide in, and we'll see you again in a few months.
I don't hate this meme.
Implying it isn't the guy who keeps insisting it is a shitty, forced meme isn't the one who is memeing.
He'll literally do it any time he sees the words "Excuse me".
Lol, thanks for the laugh
Are they supposed to be cute, or creepy?
You do realize that Elrond dismess the idea in the fucking book, right?
Are we at the part where OP keeps necromancing his thread? I think that's the most pathetic thing about how desperate OP is to force his meme.
Everyone who's not a newfag on Veeky Forums visits /pol/, where do you think the whole DEUS VULT thing /pol/ has going on came from?
I like these threads because they remind people that the solution to default elves being faggots isn't to make their elves "not elfy", but to go full fucking elf, put bells on your horse, and sing a merry tune as you butcher a demon lord while a beautiful noblewoman sucks your meatbranch while your gorgeous 80s glam rock hair waves in the wind.
/pol/tards think it's other boards that leak into them
Fuck off, /pol/tard
Are we at the part where OP keeps necromancing his thread?
No, we're at the part where everyone makes fun of you for repeatedly replying in this thread instead of just ignoring it.
28 replies, plus the OP's post making it 29. 22 posters. Clearly, it is the OP samefagging to constantly bump the thread.
It's not like the orcs are wearing scouters. And even if they were, the Felloship contains Gandalf, who is at least comparable to Glorfindel in power because they can both solo a balrog.
A few reasons are given for Glorfindel's exclusion, but they all suck. First, Elrond wanted the Fellowship to have exactly nine members because there are nine Nazgul and it's like poetry or whatever (he completely disregards Bill the pony, and he also disregards that at least four members of the Fellowship have not signed on for the entire journey to Mordor.) Second, he wanted each race to be represented. Third, Gandalf talked him into including Merry and Pippin in the Fellowship because it would be a good idea for Frodo to have as many close friends as possible to keep his spirits up during his difficult ordeal.
The answer is simple: don't replace Merry and Pippin; replace Legolas. As far as elves go, Legolas is a total scrub - he doesn't even own a good bow by elven standards until Galadriel gives him one. The best person to swap out would be Boromir, but I'm guessing he'd make a scene if he wasn't included, even though he is openly honor-bound to return straight to Minas Tirith and not continue the quest beyond that.
he doesn't even own a good bow by elven standards until Galadriel gives him one
Got a source from the books on this claim?
Also, I'm pretty sure Legolas is a prince of some sort, which is a big deal. Royalty is efficacious in LotR: see Bard in the Hobbit for evidence of that. I think you're underselling Legolas here.
the Fellowship contains Gandalf, who is at least comparable to Glorfindel in power because they can both solo a balrog.
Except Gandalf is bound by the Valar not to use his powers except against other Maiar spirits not Sauron. The real point of why Glorfindel was excluded was because having mucho mundo powerful Elflord with powers and abilities equal to the Maiar right next to The One Ring is begging for a new Dark Lord to rise.
Not him, but I believe he's referring to this. http://portal.tolkienianos.pt/files/The_LotR_I.pdf
To Legolas she gave a bow such as
the Galadhrim used, longer and stouter than the bows of Mirkwood, and strung
with a string of elf-hair. With it went a quiver of arrows.
Plus, given the poor performance of the Mirkwood elves in the war of the last alliance, there is some support that he's probably just using a hunting bow repurposed.
Also, Glorfindel is the Lord of one of the 12 houses of Gondolin. That's got to be at least as good as a Silvan prince.
Deus Vult thing didn't come from Veeky Forums. It was the SJWs constantly shitting on Christians about the Crusades so it was only natural that /pol/ would embrace the crusader knights.
But Gandalf can be sneaky and cloak the Fellowship, whereas Glorfindel is basically is the last of the great Noldor swordsmen.
Elrond clearly knew TOR rules, high Hope and all, hobbits where the best choice.
joking aside I do think something like that might have been at work.
Also aside from the hobbits and Gandalf the Fellowship was oddly political. A dwarf from Moria, and an elf from Mirkwood to check him up; the son of the Steward and the new king. Noldors knew this was their last rodeo and they were gonna watch from the side to have any hope, just look at how close they were to Galadriel losing her shit, would you really trust Glorfindel with the mission? Would you think Aragorn would stand a chance against him?
most surely JRRT did see that the TT was high combat enough without Glorfindel, IRL
Also Gandalf says after the end about what would've happen if the north fell, complete with something like "siege at Lorien, dark night ad Rivendell". Elrond did need someone to defend the last refuge of... basically of any Eldar, really. We will never know if he would've made a last stand or try to make a run to Lindon to save whatever was there to save, Galadriel seems to imply with the Fellowship that she and her people didn't have a plan B.
Again, not the guy you're responding to, but I always got the impression that the expedition they sent was not particularly well thought out. Sam's upset over not having any rope means that in the months they were at Rivendell, nobody thought to draw up a list of supplies the expedition was likely to need and check tom make sure everyone has stuff. They just sent them out with whatever. That's pretty slapdash.
Nobody cares, fagalag.
Probably lost in on Bill.
Glorfindel didn't defeat the Nazghul and wasn't Elrond the one who flooded the river
Sam's upset over not having any rope
This was after Frodo ran away from Boromir at the Breaking of the Fellowship. All they had on them was what Frodo had on him and what Sam brought with him when he followed.
Nah, he has it before Bill is sent back at Moria.
@Garbage Can Lid
Goldilocks is the one who pushed them in the river though.
No, it's not. Same link as before, page 182.
Rope! he muttered. 'No Rope! and only last night you said to yourself; Sam, what about a bit of rope? You'll want it, if you haven't got it:" Well, I'll want it,. I can't get it now.
At that moment Elrond came out with Gandalf, and he called the company to him.
It's not until Lorien that they get any rope.
No, he's right, he's referring to the ropes they got in Lorien
I dunno. Maybe I'm just picking an autistic/pointless hill to die on, but I can't imagine that nobody in the entire Company thought to bring some fucking rope if they were in Rivendell for entire months. The selection here is Sam digging through his personal pack. That still leaves the contents of the rest of the Fellowship's packs and whatever luggage they had on the ponies. Gandalf was planning on going through the mountains for heaven's sakes.
Use him as a distraction.
stfu /pol/cuck, we are not united
Near the outskirts they are saved by an elf named Glorfindel, who uses magic to flood a river and his swordsmanship to defeat all of the Ringwraiths
Uh, I think you mean they were saved by ARWEN, mkay, Shitlord?
Why wasn't he part of the Fellowship? He sounds way more useful than Boromir, Gimli, and any of the hobbits besides Frodo.
He was, he was extremely powerful. So powerful it raised 2 concerns:
1. If he succumbs to the ring, NO ONE is going to be able to stop him from taking it, and then if he wields it we are FUCKED
2. He would INSTANTLY draw Saurons attention.
People talking about Gandalf and Legolas
Gandalf hides his power level. Glorfindel out-classes Legolas. Glorfindel is probably the most powerful figure in the world, up there with Elrond and Galadriel
in the books it was glorfindel.
Deus Vult is a bad example, you want more concrete proof: "God Emperor Trump" memes
I know I was being sarcastic
Are your self inserts as pathetic as you are in real life? Have you tried restarting with a new character sheet because your charisma is at most a 4.
I don't go to /pol/ because I'm not a cuck incel :)
How is Glorfindel going to attract Sauron's attention more than anyone else? It's not like being an elf makes him a beacon, and if it does, then Legolas is also a beacon.
Because Glorfindel is an immensely powerful Elf Lord from a previous age, when he goes somewhere shit gets noticed. Especially since he's basically retired until the last throw down.
He's from the first age, and was literally reincarnated by the valar to act as an emissary.
He might be recognized in elven circles, but no one in any of the places the Fellowship plans to go would know who he is or what he looks like. No one in Rohan or Gondor would know about ancient elf lords.
What would be a reasonable way, keeping in mind the setting, that orcs (goblins) would be able to feed themselves in their caves?
Moria, Gundabad and the Misty Mountains have huge orc populations, but no apparent food source.
I can't really think of anything, other than that they are actually temporary gatherings of orcs and they usually roam about the regions outside of the mountains and hunt and gather there.
'power' is a tangible thing in Tolkiens works, something immaterial but that can be felt. He was also somewhat physically notable
"He was tall and straight; his hair was of shining gold, his face fair and young and fearless and full of joy; his eyes were bright and clean, and his voice like music; on his brow set wisdom, and in his hand was strength."
They have to pass near Isengard, where Saruman resides. They also know that Sauron has a Palantir, which can gaze across Middle Earth. Having a Maiar-Strength Elflord next to the One Ring is literally lighting a bonfire in the middle of the night.
no one in any of the places the Fellowship plans to go would know who he is or what he looks like
Except Sauron, and that's pretty significant.
In fact do we even know if Sauron was at all aware of Gandalf or at least who he truly was?
Mushrooms and cannibalism.
Unless powerful people just radiate an aura, I can't see how he'd be any more noteworthy than Legolas, who did get noticed but no one seemed to care. And hell, Gandalf is also e super powerful and no one seems to realize except those who already know. The entire Shire never suspected outside of Bilbo. Plus Aragorn is powerful and everyone just thinks he's some punk woodsman until he introduces himself.
Glorfindel is higher in power level than everyone there except Gandalf, who deliberately conceals himself with his angel magic. He's based on Odin, after all.
It's mentioned that Mordor has farmland, just not adjacent to Gondor, so humans don't know much about it.
Actually, continuing this line of thought, if Glorfindel is such a badass that he can fight First Age threats, why not just send him anyway? Even if Sauron detects him instantly, so what? You've got a guy who can take on an army, a bunch of lesser warriors, and Gandalf.
Legolas is a fledgling royal elf with no deeds to his name and relatively new compared to the rest of the Elflords.
Gandalf is charged by the Valar to hide his true powers when aiding the people of ME against Sauron. It's only when faced with a Balrog, one of the fallen Maiar, that Gandalf decides to use his own Maiar powers to fight. The process of which, mind you, kills his mortal shell.
Aragorn is powerful but spent years in hiding against the forces of Sauron. Notice the instant he cane out of hiding, all eyes were on him to the point even Sauron thought he had the One Ring up until the end.
Anon's talking about the Mines of Moria, not Mordor.
because every time the elves have gone against Sauron and Melkor it has ended badly. It is not their doom to confront and defeat Sauron.
Unless powerful people just radiate an aura
Herpppp, I'm blind, thanks.
Didn't Sauron already know Aragorn was around? He made no secret of his identity post-Bree and he had the very sword that cut off Sauron's finger. He didn't seem to care until Aragorn marched literally to his front door.
He didn't seem to care until Aragorn marched literally to his front door.
Because he thought at that point Aragorn had the ring, because why else would be march to his front door?
Everyone who's not a newfag on Veeky Forums visits /pol/
No. Just no.
It's been like a decade since I last read LotR, but didn't Sauron know Frodo and Sam had it and just didn't realize their specific plan? Otherwise why would they sneak into Mordor on their own?
Didn't Sauron already know Aragorn was around?
Not until the stunt with the Palantir, I think.
I'm not sure Saruman even knew he was on a mission, though I'm sure he knew Aragorn was alive, since he was still probably in touch with Elrond.
No? If Sauron knew they had it he would have had his entire army after them. He probably had some idea they were there, but they weren't as important as the Ring, so his eye focused on Aragorn. Sauron is blind to everything but the ring
If Sauron knew that Frodo and Sam had the Ring and they snuck into Mordor they would've been torn to fucking pieces by orcs. I believe it's explicitly mentioned that until the moment Frodo claims the Ring on the summit of Mt. Doom, Sauron has no fucking idea that Aragorn doesn't have the Ring. I always like to imagine the big eye swiveling around in terror and confusion like
WAIT WHAT THE FUCK YOU MEAN HE -- EVEN THOUGH ...!?
YOU MEAN THEY -- TWO LITTLE FUCKIN HOBBIT DUDES
Poor Sauron. He didn't deserve that shitty end. Honestly, he just wanted to be a bro.
It DOES seem like great renown works half-magically in Sauron's favour, actually. Meaning just "being there" if you're part of a great line of men (elves, dwarves perhaps, whatever) and doing heroic deeds puts in you a sketchy position.
Consider the Rangers (let's put aside Aragorn's line proper). Why do they even bother not only working underground, but not letting most people know of their heritage? I mean, if anything, they wouldn't care or believe them (if they ever knew of what it means), but I higly suspect they might be less harsh with them. I don't see Gondor giving a fuck either, they didn't for a millennium.
But what is most interesting to me is that Sauron wouldn't give a shit: what difference does it make if they're men of the west? If anything the Mouth of Sauron seems to imply in Mordor they did know of them in general terms and didn't give a fuck ever. So, they're sneaky guys and do guerrilla warfare, that's fine, but I don't think there is any reason for working undercover.
I think in the end what The One Ring says with the Eye of Mordor rule (Rivendell) might be astonishingly sensible. There the "bad luck" the Shadow gives the heroes in general (i.e. they're not carrying the fucking ring and it's not -by default- what Sauron or whoever personally decide to do) is linked to inherited renown (a hobbit has zero, a noldor 3, a ranger 2), like the deeds of great peoples kinda give you an handicap.
A way to elude this is going undercover or under the auspices of a magical patron like, you guessed it, Gandalf. One could assume that Gandalf with them or not Glorinfindel per se might be too OP for that.
anyway it is true that Glorfindel is kinda of a sketchy idea. At first JRRT simply reused a name without getting his own Gondolin reference, so him being basically a Noldor Dawn Chast is kinda of a retcon.
the big eye
I'm not sure what Sauron's initial thought process regarding the Hobbits was. It wasn't the first time idiots tried sneaking into Mordor. Assuming Aragorn had the Ring was a reasonable conclusion.
Please, I like the books better. It's just that it's a funny mental image that you can't really get from the books. Quiet your 'tism, it's not like I said I liked the Jackson Hobbit.
shoo shoo mairon
you can't get a funny mental image from the books.
I bet you didn't laff at the oliphaunt poem too you faggot.
Because Glorfindel had the tendency to charge first and ask questions later. He was killed in the First Age because he suicide-tackled a Balrog off a cliff.
He would likely try to take Sauron down with force and no subtlety, meaning either Sauron's orcs or trolls or Ringwraiths would wreck his shit, or if Sauron got the Ring, he'd do it personally.
Glorfindel is definitely in the top 5.
Saruman (and later Gandalf) the White, Elrond, Galadriel, (probably) Tom Bombadil, Glorfindel, and Eye of Evil himself sitting at the top. The Witch King is in there too, probably equal to Glorfindel, and when given his power boost on the level of Elrond and potentially Gandalf.
Galadriel hid in her forest which Sauron harassed for amusement, Elrond knew better than to take Sauron in a fight after watching his former lord get his face melted, Gandalf hid his power in both forms (even as the White he said Sauron's power far outclassed his own), and Glorfindel was on orders to remain passive and not cause much trouble.
Then Tom is running around singing and shit.
If Glorfindel took a more active role, he'd be fucked. There's a reason all four or five other major players hide from the Dark Lord.
Fuck the orcs, I want to know where Thranduil's people got food aside from venison.
mfw indirectly this informs my worldbuilding, always ask myself where the people get their basic needs
For all of his love of gardening and shit JRRT seems almost to forgot that agricolture exists far from the Shire. Considering the orcs in MM the only thing I might venture to say is that "great numbers" for the north is probably absurdly small: the dwarves at the battle of the five armies were around half a thousand, the elves a thousand and all considered they were a great portion of the forces they could muster in desperate times. The bad guys were certainly more but all in all the total orc population of the MM... I'd put that around 50,000 tops. They seemed to fluctuate wildly anyway.
So, I dunno, cattle and goats? Fungal and whatever bullshit undergound? Can even see them doing crude agricolture in the lower reaches of the mountains. Redneck orcs don't sound like that much of a stretch considering the vasteness of the region.
ME is probably the most read postapocalyptic book, amusingly enough. Shit is almost comically underpopulated.
I think he knew it actually. The orcs in Rohan are directed to search for hobbits and whatever seems like a ring they might wear. He realized that from the nazguls at Weathertop, I guess.
Kinda lousy counterintelligence the good guys got....
How'd he return if he died?
The Witch King is in there too, probably equal to Glorfindel,
Didn't Aragorn defeat all of the Ringwraiths at once armed with nothing but a normal sword and a torch?
Wasn't it because of his Numenorean blood?
If by "defeat" you mean "hold them off for a little while before fleeing" then yes. He defeated them.
Wasn't that actually Frodo's weapon from the Barrows? The distracted them with fire but that was a nuisance.
After that they got lucky to find Glorfindel
I thought he didn't so much defeat them as he did drive them off, which involved a number of different factors outside his control.
well when you're right, you're right.
because their agriculture adds nothing to the story of the lord of the rings or the hobbit.
An autist like you forgets that the hobbit is told from the perspective of bilbo baggins esq. a hobbit that sees farming all the time in his comfy hole in the ground. To him everything is an adventure, and if you think the first thing he does when he is hiding in thranduil's cave is worry about the farming logistics instead of trying to rescue his friends you need some help.
Yes. Anybody who doesn't go to your precious board is obviously butthurt. There isn't any other reasonable explanation for it.
but muh tax policy
but ruling is hard
While I agree with you, I think saying Tolkien was interested in trimming the fat from his story is off the mark considering Tom Bombadil exists.
Eh, so do the songs, but they are honestly the best part.
JRRT's worldbuilding has... bizzare holes, seen now (but probably even then). I think he visualized places a little too much... like they were scene-aids, as odd and blasphemous as it sounds. Sometimes a tiny bit of practicality would've been nice, as much as permaculture for the elves.
i can’t refute anything they say
therefore they’re dead i win now
Go suck cocks somewhere else, dipshit.
Debatable regarding Tom tough. He's a great passage between the the tone of the Shire's "fairytale" antics to epic "adult" shit and a respite from two surprisingly dark ecounters. Hell, the Barrows are possibly the most horrific part of the book, go re-read them.
I don't think it was a bad idea to cut him, but that's oddly enough 'cause they didn't let the stuff before him stay.
The butthurt posts you wrote are why you're obviously butthurt. I know you're sad you were outed as a newfag, but cheer up, everyone was one once. This may be strange for you, and very different from wherever you came from, but it's okay to be a straight, white male here.
That shit was spooky
samwise gamgee protects his friends from the drunken Kevin Spacey
I think the wood elves is pretty simple- they hunted meat and gathered vegetables in their huge forest they kept everyone out of and traded with human farmers for some other things like wine and grains.
That's sort of what prompted me to wonder about the orcs in the mountains. It's mentioned that elves do trade with men and they have a knack with plans.
For Mordor, it's also mentioned that there are huge plantations to the east worked by slaves.
Likewise many other civilisations have their economy/agriculture at least given lip-service.
So Tolkien seems to have taken some time to mention this sort of tax policy shit, but then skipped it for the cave goblins.
The orcs in Rohan are directed to search for hobbits and whatever seems like a ring they might wear.
I think those orcs were instructed by Saruman, not Sauron, to look for an elvish treasure held by halflings.
Saruman knew roughly where the ring was lost because he read about it in Orthanc's/Gondor's libraries.
Then IIRC he found out from Gandalf that the ring was being held by Frodo before the Fellowship was even founded.
I always assumed Saruman kept this a secret from Sauron, but might be wrong.
Samwise looks like Kevin Spacey fighting off other competitor
Shit is almost comically underpopulated.
Not really. ME is firmly rooted in the dark ages. The overall population was pretty tiny and only a fraction of it was under arms. A thousand elves mustered at short notice from a small realm for a foreign expedition to deal with 13 dwarves does not seem unreasonable. The Iron Hills force was put together at great speed to reinforce Thorin, with more notice they could probably field a much bigger army. Neither expected to fight a vast horde of wargs and goblins and considering the circumstances and that both elves and dwarves are far less numeroous than men the number of troops seem fine.
No idea about Moria's food supply though. However in both books Moria's orcs seem pretty firmly established underground and only venture out to attack and raid, so external farms and herds seem unlikely. I think we just have to assume that between cave critters, underground lakes and maybe ye olde cave fungus they have an internal food supply.
Rohan, Gondor, Mordor and Dale at the least all got agriculture described to some degree so it's hardly totally neglected.
I always assumed Saruman kept this a secret from Sauron, but might be wrong
In the books he did, because he fancied himself as Sauron's rival.
They did. Why do you think angmar was left dead?
Glorfindel pulled of a lot more. He ended his first life with killing a balrog. In his second life he made the prophesy to the witch king about his demise. He also is Elronds right hand man. Elronds who is the de facto leader of the Noldor in middle earth.
Legolas is a child of some lordling. Nothing special.
Sindar royalty is not too shabby really, it's just not on the same level as one of the top tier Noldor left this side of the ocean.
Barrow Weapons were Numenorian make. Which meant it could hurt Ringwraiths seeing as Tolkien had a serious cougar fetish.
I was once in a low-level game where nobody brought any rope because each player had assumed some other player had bought some rope during character creation. I do not recall the exact events, but I do remember that the single session we got through was less like stereotypical adventuring and more like The Camping Trip From Hell, and that we were ultimately defeated by rain.
Thranduil isn't just "some lordling." He's older than almost everybody, even if he isn't an Eldar. He's been king since before the Trees.
I'm not sure about the timeline for Legolas. He never really bragged about any great deeds he'd done, though, so I assume he was relatively young and inexperienced as elves go.
Tolkien had a serious cougar fetish
I don't see the connection
His spirit went to Elf Heaven and the Valar sent him back because he was too badass to share amongst the gods.
Old stuff (Elf Weapon, Numenor Works)=More Powerful
New Stuff (Ork Weapons. latest Gondorian armor)=Weaksauce
Yeah, it's told in his point of view, and that's the point. You think that a dude from a farming community that watched and probably helped people farm and saw traders coming through with foods and spices from other farms isn't going to think "These people have no means of feeding themselves, how have they not starved to death yet?", even if he doesn't necessarily care much about farming himself?
And the entwives?
I know I was being sarcastic
That's not what sarcasm is.
Fuck off back to /tv/ with your terrible photoshops.
That's Frodo dude. Fucks sake.
Actually, Tom Bombadil and lack of interest in agriculture can be easily explained by the meta-narrative where the Red Book is the product of later editing. Later editors nixed insignificant or never-present details of Bilbo's narrative that had to do with agriculture and other unimportant stuff while inserting vaguely related tales like Bombadil.
Actually, it's really interesting that you noticed that! If you ever read Beowulf, take special note of how they describe weapons. If a weapon is "old," "ancestral," or "ancient," that means it's basically a magical weapon.
the sword Beowulf uses to slay Grendel's mother
basically all of the gifts mentioned
It's an anglo-saxon thing, and it was definitely an intentional influence.
Elves are telepathic, so are Sauron's best minions
post must be inane and not significantly contribute
because he is too busy trying to survive and steal food in thranduil's halls instead of analyzing mirkwood's economy.
expecting a /pol/tard to know anything about Veeky Forums stuff
He made a joke about a pedo mate, cool your jets.