Paladin Thread

Do people still sleepover at "that" age?

>what a horrible knight to have a curse

CARLOS

No, the idea that sex is evil has always struck me as bizarre.

No but my clerics are.

Depends on the oath.

Yeah, well, crazy shit like that seems less nonsensical when you're indoctrinated into believing them from a very young age. Take it from a former Christian.

Why is the extractor system linked with the reproductive system? Why do you piss from the same place (or close) with the thing that you use to make babies?

There's a complicated biologic explanation but for now go with "is an efficient use of space"

Because squatting on a dick and squatting in the grass are both relatively easy positions for the human legs to accommodate?

Other animals look at us and wonder why we have separate orifices for pooping and for babies. Some wonder why we have separate orifices for pooping and for eating. Some wonder why we don't have the same orifices for all of our orifice-related needs.

It helps if you don't think of them as being linked so much as using the same shortcut, because the urethra and vaginal canals are actually different holes that terminate in the same squishy fleshy area that's already complicated enough as is.

If we were to have separate terminal holes for urea and for baby ingredients, where would you put which, user?

To be fair, consider a world with very limited understanding of how STIs work, no easily available contraceptives, a significant chance of dying in childbirth, and limited availability if any of outside support for your children. Nevermind issues of determining heredity and the not strictly sex related stuff that tied into that.

Enshrining it as something to limit was, if perhaps an idiosyncratic way of doing so, probably a fairly practical measure that over time picked up some strange doctrinal mutations.

Seriously though, think about the implications of something like syphilis in a pre microbial theory of disease world view.

My paladin is sworn to a fertility goddess soooo no. It's literally his job to fuck bitchs, marry fuckers and chop adulterers.
>Christianity
I think you mean Catholics, user.
I had a youth pastor tell me sex was for the sole purpose of reproduction in a marriage and I had a deacon tell me "God forgives, go nuts." Bottom line you have to interpret God for yourself and ignore the assholes.

Some swear to that, but most just keep oaths of fidelity to a spouse.

>I had a deacon tell me "God forgives, go nuts."
Did he mean going for his nuts?

>He fucks bitches but chop adulterers
Isn't that a little hypocritical?

Obviously.
With their way of life it would be impossible to raise a family.

Catholics are Christians, they've just got some weird extrabiblical doctrines. The fundamentals are the same, though.

>I had a youth pastor tell me sex was for the sole purpose of reproduction in a marriage

In marriage, yes. Solely for the purpose of reproduction, no.

>I had a deacon tell me "God forgives, go nuts."

That man is a heretic. St. Paul specifically warns against that kind of attitude.

Proper Christian doctrine: sex is good, and it should be enjoyed, but should be solely between a man and his wife. Reproduction should also not be disregarded - it's kinda important.

>/pol/ mode

Because let's be real, atheists aren't going to be outbreeding Muslims any time soon.

Diseases, and the impossibility to really know who the father of a baby is. I mean, no man would ever recognize a child from a slut that used to fuck with half of the village.
In the end there would be a lot of bastards and women whoring themselves, spreading more diseases and destroying families.

I don't think any religion has ever seen sex as inherently evil though.

Depends on the god within the setting. Most within my main one are, but there are some exceptions.

>Worship the god of Blood, Struggle, and Civilization
>Paladin shows no interest in frivolous sex or bar floozies
>Eventually meet Queen of the Elves, said to be a great beauty
>Meh
>Bring her some dorf prisoners that attacked us in their lands (Dorfs and Elves hate eachother, go figure)
>She disintegrates them with just her eyes
>IknowexactlywhyIhavethisboner.jpg

Up until then, the party thought he was chaste, while just no woman before her interested him. He did fail his attempts to dick down the Elf queen, and hasn't found a suitably terrifying woman to try and woo since, despite apparently being a huge lady's man.

Other examples include;
>The former champion of their god, who kicked the shit out of him multiple times in his earlier levels, but was usurped by my Paladin. Now she's pretty much Yandre over him.
>Mid-level magic user who saw him solo a demon a few levels higher than him in the middle of town. Honestly thought I was going to kill my character but ended up absolutely whooping the demon. Aquired Fan-girl who obsessively charms other attractive young women to add to my Paladin's fan club. Club has over 20+ followers

All he wants to do is find a nice woman who possesses awesome powers, and then struggle to pump her full of babies. Also he wants to punch his god in the face, but that's end game shit for after they save the world.

When they're adorable lesbians, yes. They obviously would also have a pillow fight.

>Reproduction should also not be disregarded - it's kinda important.
Not really. In bible it's said that it's better for a man to stay celibate forever, but if he's weak then he should find a wife.

Hey I'm not Christian so I'm not terribly informed on the bible but can you tell me specifically where it says that?

The cardinals' decree is that all clergy are supposed to be, but the further up you go in the hierarchy the more people are willing to turn a blind eye to mistresses and the like. The rule itself is probably a misrepresentation of the Allfather's will anyway, though, since even the first prophet married and had sons.

>tfw you formulate a plan to initiate the not!Lutheran reformation and see to an end of this cockblocking bullshit, but then a cataclysmic event rends the order of the world asunder and now there's no time for it

>implying a God would want his devote followers to miss out on some pussy.
He did give them immunity from STDs for a reson.

Go through with the plans. As some wee digit said "chaos is a ladder". A cataclysmic event is the perfect time to flip the church on it's head. At that point in time those who have doubt in it's authority, will with little nudge attack it hardest for it's imperfections.

>Catholics are Christians, they've just got some weird extrabiblical doctrines.
A more accurate statement would be that Protestants removed a portion of the bible. Catholics decided what was going into the bible in the first place. When Protestantism kicked off, they decided to follow a Jewish reformation which excluded some books, however the Catholics continued to use the same canon.

1 Corinthians 7:8-9

You treat paladinship as a term of service. Once your term is up, do you reliquish your powers, like when a cop retires and hands over his badge and service weapon? Do those badges of office the paladin puts on the desk at the end of his tenure divest him also of his powers and abilities? Or, like a retired cop, can he go on his own and use those skills to do his own thing?

Getting a boner by witnessing something abhorrent is not the kind of thing you base your entire fucking life and beliefs around. It's something you write down in your super secret non-faggot journal that nobody will ever read kind of thing and forget about when you turn 15. The imagination and passion are there, just not the logic.

>Are your paladins celibate?
Do you know the difference between celibate and chaste? No.

>Or, like a retired cop, can he go on his own and use those skills to do his own thing?
This is the Eberron campaign from 4e in a way. Real gritty, kind of pulpy, very noire.

>following what some dude thought you should do and not the actual word of God

kekkle doodle doo

>Also he wants to punch his god in the face

When you're the god of fighting, you really should expect your followers to be trying to challenge you directly. Anyone who *does* manage to punch you in the face, well, he's definitely a worthy champion of your cause.

Depends on the god.
Paladin of god of turbo lawfulness and no fun allowed? Probably is.
Paladin of Sune? Will probably hit it with everything that shows an interest and is either a good creature or at least is trying to be.
Every other god? No rules, just remember you're a good guy, so you know, safe, sane and consensual. Beyond that it's all up to you and your preferences. Just remember that evil villains/esses might be lying about wanting redemption and having fallen in love with your chivalrious personality.

I really don't know how relevant this is to the thread, but the thread got me thinking about it. Was sex a component of the original game? I don't even know what age it was geared toward. But, it wasn't was it? Was sex something that Gygax touched on or used at all? I mean sexual relations et al.

Nice.

I think it's the idea of indulging in carnal desire more than the actual sex. Being above your baser instincts.

Bastards are an issue to.

The reason sex is seen as “bad” is because excessive casual sex ruins lasting marriages in the future, spreads disease, and your body releases hormones that make you emotionally attached and it’s unhealthy to build a tolerance to those chemicals.

Paladins can go absolutely fucking wild in bed and fetishes, but it has to be with their WIFE.

Carnal desire isn't wrong any more than having a vestigial tail is wrong. It's fucking there, it's a part of you, and pretending it isn't there or feeling guilty about it being there is the sin. It's a thing. We all have it. Some of us aren't corrupted by it or feel badly in the slightest because of it. How chaste does said organization need its adherents to be? That's it. It's used as a tool of guilty admonishment by the depraved, and accepted as a point in need of moderation to every other not batshit crazy outfit.

>Carnal desire isn't wrong any more than having a vestigial tail is wrong. It's fucking there, it's a part of you, and pretending it isn't there or feeling guilty about it being there is the sin.
Nigga, all humans had the desire to murder, but it's not something that you should embrace

There are death gods, Nazi gods, and then all the rest. I find it disturbing 4hcan's autocorrect insisted on a capitalized N for Nazi... anyway, fucking is a good thing. Fucking with lies and deceit is a bad thing. Fucking as bribes are a bad thing- something a lot of women do without really knowing it. Fucking as apology is the utter end of the spectrum.

Yes but they often had sex with succubus to purify them but it doesn't count as sex and only with succubus

Relatively, or objectively? Guess where you fit.

Objectively.

Correct. lol
>How chaste does said organization need its adherents to be?
It's the same coin, not even the other side. We all want to kill everyone at some point, I guess if that's the thought we are following. In terms of this thread though? We are all humans, built with all these crazy conflictions. We all have these animal, "evil" urges that are good for the animals but bad for us. heh. How chaste does said organization need its adherents to be?

>purify them with succubus
thought those demons killed you by sex?

Paladin's god might be his own hopes or a benevolent eldritch god

>Not being a lusty paladin
youtube.com/watch?v=Hiu1hPdJk-Y

Has no bearing on a fantasy world that, in 99% of settings featuring Paladins, has magic, potions. alchemy, etc to cure such diseases. Determining blood lineage can't be that difficult either if its That important.

No.
Their God and religion demands they have a quiver full of children.

>Rides the town bicycle
>Complains that he can't tell if its his child or not

Not very considering in our own real history priests and such were fucking, taking wives, and in cases even running brothels.

...

This was written by Paul, who had a very different strain of thought on sex than Peter, the leader of the primordial church after Christ's death. Peter and Paul never really reconciled on this, but since Paul was doing so much to convert the Roman Empire to Christianity, he chose not to press Paul too hard on the matter.

Christ himself in the Gospels said that man and woman together become one flesh, obviously talking about sex, and declared that "what God has put together let no man take asunder" - an injunction against divorce, but not against sex. Quite the contrary.

BTW former (now apostate) missionary ask me anything sex/bible related.

That guy looks like fun

I'm really getting mixed up now and I should be at this point. I've been trying very hard to merge realistic sensibilities with my table versions of the same. But why? Fuck.. the people I play with were younger than me when they first watched arnie owning the role, Conan the Barbarian. Raping and pillaging is not abhorrent behavior, it's what we do when nobody is looking.

You are trying to squeeze all humans throughout time into a single philosophy and it's confusing you because, surprise surprise, humans don't fit into one philosophy like that.

Conan channels pre-"civilized" man's nature, which is much closer to our biology than prehistoric roots than modern society.

Our modern culture is an artifice we have constructed to more efficiently direct and organize ourselves into larger "tribes" (cities, nations) than is the norm for our species. Marriage, for example, exists because without it infighting over mating prospects becomes too intractable for settlements to last. Natural human social orders look more like lion prides than monogamous relationships, with many women preferring to share a single dominant male than have exclusive attentions of a single less desirable one. Marriage forces men and women to buck biology and guarantees access to mates for all males, meaning civilization can make use of their labor and avoid a large, unsatisfied male deviant element with no motive to see the system continue. Most of our traditional ethical codes are designed to buttress stuff like this and keep civilization functioning well.

Conan is a middle finger to all of that, and lets men (and women) revel in their more natural instincts. Men are combat models, and it's psychologically rewarding to them to engage in combat and conquest, and of course to fuck lots of women whom he dominates. It's actually natural for women to be attracted to this archetype of male, too. The problem is that if we all did this, there would be no civilization, no industry, no lasting peace, and we'd all live to be 30 and die when we broke our leg or got a fever.

Romantic, chivalrous knights are a reflection of modern civilization trying to buck biology for prosperity, Conan is celebrating man's more natural, older impulses.

My Paladin is a Arthurian type who made a pack with a fae princess of the rills. They are each others first & only. It's cute.

Jesus never married.

>BTW former (now apostate) missionary ask me anything sex/bible related.
>Lying on the internet.

>Jesus never married

You are assuming the account written in the New Testament is complete, which it most likely is not. There has always been credible speculation Jesus was married. Even if he wasn't though, that's not necessarily an argument against marriage, or that celibacy was higher than marriage. Christ may not have married according to the gospels, but neither did he say anything about marriage being lower than celibacy. Everything he taught on the matter was expressly pro-marriage, anti-divorce.

>Lying on the internet
Like all good Mormon boys, I served 2 years in the mission field. I was sent to the Kansai region of Japan for my service.

Paladin's in my setting are allowed to take wives. Often this is encouraged as a strong relationship at home with the person they love helps reduce the likelyhood of falling to the seductive powers of lusty demons on the battlefield or in private.

There has always been credible speculation Jesus was married.
Yeah, among muslims and retarded christian sects
Even if he wasn't though, that's not necessarily an argument against marriage,
Of course it is. You should thrive to become a man as saint as him.
>Like all good Mormon boys, I served 2 years in the mission field. I was sent to the Kansai region of Japan for my service.
Of fuck, mormon. It's worse than being a lier. Don't think it can be really considered christian either, no more than Muhammad at least.

If you look into history Catholicism is the original form of Christianity. Or arguably Eastern Orthodox.

Mainline protestant denominations came around 1500ish years later. Have a simple look into the history of the Church.

>they've just got some weird extrabiblical doctrines.
Wouldn't quite call them weird, most of the doctrines come about from the teachings of the Church Fathers. Which are 2nd generation so to speak from Jesus himself.

Mormon's are not considered Christian's by others than themselves. They do not believe in the trinity and they believe some crazy heresy about becoming God's themselves with their special magic undies.

>You are trying to squeeze all humans throughout time into a single philosophy and it's confusing you because, surprise surprise, humans don't fit into one philosophy like that.

I'm trying all kinds of things- I'm very well versed when it come to the mores and means, the faults and lessons of history. I'm trying to pigeonhole my rural players' mindset and use it in a way that isn't obvious or patronizing yet real. I'm the guy that plants seeds, and for once user, you, expanded on them. Here it is. Man is an animal with very many powerful gifts, many of which are worthless today, yet still augment our modern perception. This is a game I'm running, about people. I want to reward my players based on their mores and wants, yet have relevance to it, somehow.

You obviously aren't a person that likes having rational discussions, so I guess that's the end of this one.

The terminal hole for waste would be a miniature black hole in the stomach, and you'd get energy directly by feeding off its rotational inertia or some shit.

I'd argue that the Roman Catholic Church and Orthodox Churches are best understood as descendants of a common ancestor, rather than preserving any meaningful continuity to their ancestral roots [yes, yes, Apostolic succession... but that's a long fucking game of telephone].

As far as I know, not really. I'm sure they had some sessions where it came up but probably either had a "fade to black" or they had that and a D20 roll to see how well you performed which probably led to something hilarious happening on a Nat 1.

Probably some kind of cloaca with more efficient kidneys for waste, and as for baby ingredients probably do like some kind of cephalopod/marsupial mix and have males produce sperm packet that the female collects and deposits into a pouch on her abdomen that serves to gestate and nourish offspring.

That doesn't sound fun in the slightest.

Well they were the ones that compiled the first bible. And they did have the texts/epistles/letters of the Church Fathers to go by.

Plus the Israelite people kept their history for dozens of generations through oral means alone, they would have no issue continuing this for another couple centuries before the first book would be compiled.

Yeah some nuance would be lost, but emphasis on the important things would be preserved. Like in the letters.

7 Now concerning the matters about which you wrote: “It is well for a man not to touch a woman.” 2 But because of cases of sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband. 3 The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband. 4 For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does; likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. 5 Do not deprive one another except perhaps by agreement for a set time, to devote yourselves to prayer, and then come together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. 6 This I say by way of concession, not of command. 7 I wish that all were as I myself am. But each has a particular gift from God, one having one kind and another a different kind.

8 To the unmarried and the widows I say that it is well for them to remain unmarried as I am. 9 But if they are not practicing self-control, they should marry. For it is better to marry than to be aflame with passion.

10 To the married I give this command—not I but the Lord—that the wife should not separate from her husband 11 (but if she does separate, let her remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband), and that the husband should not divorce his wife.

Of course it's not fun, it's efficient.

Life is actually pretty scarce in my setting, so preventing anybody from procreating is kind of looked down on. I'm sure some sects that are particularly devoted might be though

12 To the rest I say—I and not the Lord—that if any believer[a] has a wife who is an unbeliever, and she consents to live with him, he should not divorce her. 13 And if any woman has a husband who is an unbeliever, and he consents to live with her, she should not divorce him. 14 For the unbelieving husband is made holy through his wife, and the unbelieving wife is made holy through her husband. Otherwise, your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy. 15 But if the unbelieving partner separates, let it be so; in such a case the brother or sister is not bound. It is to peace that God has called you.[b] 16 Wife, for all you know, you might save your husband. Husband, for all you know, you might save your wife.

1 Corinthians 7

sorry if im derailing but i've a little question. do you consider paladins as a core or a prestige class?

Depends on the system.
Personally I view them as a class combo. and

Catholics banned marriage for priests because of the secular concern of nepotism.

>Hurdur Paul's stuff is all fanfic garbage.
Paul's epistles (the nonforgeries) and the Epistle to the Hebrews are all written much earlier then the other gospels. If you look at 1 Corinthians 15 and you assume that it was pentecost and 500 people then Paul got there when the little cult was maybe around 50 people. Paul probably did have his differences with other dudes but he is simply the earliest source.

Yes. My paladin of Arshea is celibate. /s

A thread died for this.

Depends on the order. One is expected to sire as many children as possible, another is so against putting Ps in Vs they wear chastity belt/cages.

My Paladin awaits a worthy and equally faithful knight (in both a religious and a marital sense) to woo her, and CRUSADE together with her! And probably hold hands and have a nice, big family of very faithful children that will live in a peaceful world.

Nazi is capitalized the same reason Democrat and Republican are. It’s a political party. Also what the fuck is a Nazi god? They were Protestant from what I know.

there is nothing forcing them to but they are very likely to take their own personal vows of celibacy.

Yes. He has sworn off all but the most basic pleasures as redemption for his sins as a warlord.

>apostate
RIP

No seriously I genuinely grieve for you. Why would you do such a thing?

He converted to Judaism.

I haven't made an order of paladins that enforced celibacy as a doctrine, but due to the nature of their work they don't have time for relationships with anyone who isn't as consistently busy as they are, namely other adventurers and most often other paladins.

Paladins boinking other paladins and having children raised as paladins. Its a vicious cycle once you're in it's hard to leave.

>ask me anything sex/bible related.
Does the book approve of lesbians?
Mostly asking in relation to Leviticus 18:22 (and onwards) that forbids male homosexuality, but doesn't mention women.

even back then you had yurifags.

so they would be an hybrid base class? pretty much like bards and shapeshifting shamans?