Order of the Stick 1107

Soft_member
Soft_member

Babysitter Club Flush

Inmate
Inmate

Thog.

eGremlin
eGremlin

@Soft_member
Tunn unn deh

Burnblaze
Burnblaze

@Soft_member
he's a pig
she says, when the only reason he dumped her is because she told him she'd killed her husband and ran away the morning after
he's likely never touched a woman before or since
AND she was gone before she could've known she was pregnant, or told him

Uh-huh.

Anyway, Kudzu is cute and what's with the other baby on the table with that lady from the Thieves' Guild? Is... is it Belkar's?

Stupidasole
Stupidasole

@Burnblaze
Eh? Why would it be Belkar's?

CodeBuns
CodeBuns

@Stupidasole
Because he may have slept with at least one of the women at that table.

Booteefool
Booteefool

@Burnblaze
the other baby on the table with that lady from the Thieves' Guild?
That's either Roy or Roy's little brother.

Lord_Tryzalot
Lord_Tryzalot

@Stupidasole
I don't know, I remember a scene with him and her and the sandwiches and the "solo adventure" euphemism, but that's about it. The baby is closest to her in skin tone, but it could be anyone.

This is all me guessing, obviously.

FastChef
FastChef

@Booteefool
That also makes sense if that's Roy's mom playing cards there, but is it?

Crazy_Nice
Crazy_Nice

@Booteefool
If it's a flashback that far, why is it in full color? Also, the halfling Rogue Celia negotiated with is at the table - he's the one with his back to the screen. The Half-Orc isn't Bozzok, who is dead, but it's not Thog. Have we seen this Half-Orc before?

Boy_vs_Girl
Boy_vs_Girl

@FastChef
the opposite actually - it's a babysitting service, so it makes sense if it isn't their mother playing there

Evil_kitten
Evil_kitten

@Burnblaze
Haley's memory of the guild playing poker isn't likely to cover the time that Belkar could have sired a kid. I don't even think it's been 9 months since cliffport, more like a couple of weeks.

Flameblow
Flameblow

@Evil_kitten
It could be a cutaway instead of a flashback.

@Boy_vs_Girl
Point. But then, did the Greenhilts ever live anywhere near Greysky?

Lord_Tryzalot
Lord_Tryzalot

@Flameblow
did the Greenhilts ever live anywhere near Greysky?
Hmm, I genuinely don't know.

Maybe it's just a random baby and we're overthinking this?

idontknow
idontknow

@Lord_Tryzalot
It is almost assuredly a random baby that exists solely for this punchline. Are any of the other people in that last panel actual characters?

Emberburn
Emberburn

@Flameblow
If it's a cutaway, I still think gestation period is a serious issue. They just haven't been away from cliffport long enough for a half human-half halfing child to gestate unless halfings have gestation periods way, way shorter than humans do.

BinaryMan
BinaryMan

@Emberburn
Point taken. If we've spent this long on this back-and-forth, I can only imagine how long the GitP forums will be debating it.

Lunatick
Lunatick

@Evil_kitten
I don't even think it's been 9 months since cliffport, more like a couple of weeks.
talk about pacing issues

CouchChiller
CouchChiller

Celia starts off as a fairly one-note character, ends up delivering an epic lawyer comeback (albeit in a trial that already was rigged), then for some reason becomes an utter and complete moron that nobody likes and like a completely different character
the entirety of Miko Miyazaki
Hilgya, a character otherwise as bland as her good counterpart but overall inoffensive, has a fling with Durkon that she basically talks him into because he's a stubborn Lawful Good dwarf who doesn't understand seduction (she suggests they fuck in that place), with a very, very strong sense of duty, abandons her due to that sense of duty (especially because she attempted to MURDER HER HUSBAND), although without any malice and now she thinks he's Hitler
Hilgya continues throughout this strip to be a bitter bitch to everyone even though the concern that bringing a baby to a battle is very legitimate (protections and deathwards are great, but they're delving into a cabal led by a high-level vampire cleric who has Durkon's memories and can easily use them to strike a hostage situation or outright kill the baby, but everyone suggesting she leaves Kudzu with an ally is an idiot
Tarquin quickly went from "best character in the comic" to "overexposed walking TVTropes who misplaces his resources just to constantly wink at the reader and who overstays his welcome"

Why does almost every recurring NPC character written by Burlew end up being an annoying cunt? I think it's somehow tied to the fact that whenever he writes a character with strong convictions they end up being a caricature of those convictions and he ends up writing them as really stubborn, and no matter how many times you see them being wrong they will never see how wrong they are, which makes the character doubly infuriating.

I'm just hoping that Hilgya's acting isn't some YASSS SLAYYY YOU GO GIRL moment, because this comic had plenty of those and they were all infinitely stronger than this one is shaping up to be.

RumChicken
RumChicken

@CouchChiller
I didn't see that much change in Celia, honestly. Just her alien morality (compared to that of Haley's half of the Order) actually coming into play.

Tarquin sticking around a while was inevitable, he was the main antagonist of the arc and being "walking TvTropes" was the entire point of his character - "this is what an evil Elan would look like."

Hilgya you have a point with, but she is Chaotic and probably still Evil. She's acting perfectly within her alignment, which is a Real Thing in-universe. If that makes the actions of these characters a little weird to us, then good.

Miko being Miko was also the entire point of her character, she is literally supposed to be "how NOT to play a Paladin."

VisualMaster
VisualMaster

@CouchChiller
Tarquin quickly went from "best character in the comic" to "overexposed walking TVTropes who misplaces his resources just to constantly wink at the reader and who overstays his welcome"

he was never the best character in the comic, that's Malack(or Redcloak if you've read the prequel)

Spamalot
Spamalot

@CouchChiller

Hilgya continues throughout this strip to be a bitter bitch to everyone even though the concern that bringing a baby to a battle is very legitimate (protections and deathwards are great, but they're delving into a cabal led by a high-level vampire cleric who has Durkon's memories and can easily use them to strike a hostage situation or outright kill the baby, but everyone suggesting she leaves Kudzu with an ally is an idiot

Bad end: Burlew felt bad for making Hilgya the villain in her marriage so he's gonna portray her as an independent ass kicking womyn instead of the selfish violent hedonist she actually is

Good end: with the baby Hilgya was forced to take responsibility for the first time in her life and she's actually grown very attached to the kid and won't let him out of her sight even when it's probably a good idea

Techpill
Techpill

@Spamalot
How much you wanna bet the baby is gonna be important to getting Old Durkon back

PackManBrainlure
PackManBrainlure

@VisualMaster
@RumChicken
Tarquin was perfect until he kept insisting on making his son the MC of the story by killing Roy. He seen pretty balance in his humors until this issue came about. Which is exactly the point of his arc, it shows that his flaws are pride and obsessiveness over his epic showdown with his son. With any other group of adventures he would just cut his losses earlier and let them have their darting escape while keeping his cool and maybe saying that they will see each other again soon.

Flameblow
Flameblow

@Techpill
getting Old Durkon back
With that stupid prophecy leaving everyone guessing (with Belkar supposedly dead soon) we might also be looking at a completely new Order coming up.

Everyone in that fucking Order has had a hard life:
Vaarsuvius commited genocide on a whim and now has to atone by living in constant guilt and without their mate
Durkon got his wish in the worst way possible and he is forced to look as his body murders all the clerics
Roy is completely underequipped to defeat an epic Lich in solo combat
Belkar will die
only Elan gets promised a happy ending
and that ending involves losing his brother whom he loved in spite of all the dumb shit, having a fucked up family and probably the universe going to shit as it's already going critical with just one little gate holding all that shit in place

the end of OOTS has almost everyone dead, broken and ruined, and as Elan becomes post-apocalyptic President of the land formerly known as Tyrinaria, he erects a massive statue of Roy Greenhilt in the city center, turns to Haley and they're about to leave to perform their duties, but then Elan finds a whistle, and really does get his happy ending

BunnyJinx
BunnyJinx

@Flameblow
Wonder who the New Order will be, anyway. I don't see Julia being a "party Wizard," and I don't know if we've SEEN any non-Elan Bards.

takes2long
takes2long

@Flameblow
At this rate I'm convinced that Elan's "happy ending" is just going to be a handjob he gets a few days before everything crashes and burns.

Bidwell
Bidwell

@BunnyJinx
I don't know if we've SEEN any non-Elan Bards.
Eric Greenhilt.

BlogWobbles
BlogWobbles

@eGremlin
It was the kid who cast that spell.

eGremlin
eGremlin

@BunnyJinx
That thieve's guild chick that Belkar banged was a bard

Supergrass
Supergrass

@Flameblow
Elan's happy ending is dying a hero and inspiring others for centuries, making him the best bard in history.

RavySnake
RavySnake

@Supergrass

Nah, because Elan being famous and inspiring would make his father happy, and Elan doesn't want that.

His legacy will be recording the definitive history of the Order of the Stick, editing it to make his own presence totally irrelevant or maybe even writing himself out altogether, and then publishing it anonymously while going on to live in total obscurity. The tales of Roy, Haley, Durkon, Belkar, and V will be told for generations, but Elan will be forgotten by the masses before he's even laid in grave.

He won't feel bad, though, since he's still tapping that redhead while sticking it to his dad.

Nude_Bikergirl
Nude_Bikergirl

@RavySnake
Tarquin is only happy if Elan is the hero of Tarquin's story and the main character. Elan sharing the spotlight in a different adventure and dying before ever confronting Tarquin would ruin Tarquin's goal entirely.

Emberfire
Emberfire

Like, this lady is beyond stubborn with her baby, 'cause like, one fireball later, you got flambe infant. Hell, any AoE like god damned fireball.

You know Burlew is just going to use the baby to make whatsherface that's trying to end the world just get away so he can pad this fucker of a comic out more

The only good thing about this page is the baby speak with "turn undead", that got a giggle out out of me.

@Soft_member

Bad end: Burlew felt bad for making Hilgya the villain in her marriage so he's gonna portray her as an independent ass kicking womyn instead of the selfish violent hedonist she actually is

Did you mean: what's actually going to happen/already is happening?

I doubt Burlew remembers that this dwarf skank only got dumped by Durkon because she, you know, murdered her husband and all.

TurtleCat
TurtleCat

@Emberfire
Note that she's wearing the baby.

Worn items don't take damage from AoE spells.

RumChicken
RumChicken

Post your favorite thogs.

JunkTop
JunkTop

@TurtleCat

You w0t m8

So apparently my familiar is invincible if I put a harness for them?

Baby is still a creature.

I'm pretty sure you're just bullshitting me

Nojokur
Nojokur

@Burnblaze
he's a pig

He's a pig because he's male. That's what men do, dump us with a child and fucking leave. Nothing else matters but the fact that HE ran out on HER and he left her with a child to care for.

Yes, that makes Durkon a fucking pig, just like every man.

Sir_Gallonhead
Sir_Gallonhead

@Nojokur
Is it because he's black?

Boy_vs_Girl
Boy_vs_Girl

@Nojokur
Angel what are you doing here

w8t4u
w8t4u

I feel like I should reread this shit because I have no idea who this woman is.

Playboyize
Playboyize

@w8t4u
They literally explained in the precious strip. She's from the first Linear Guild.

TechHater
TechHater

@Lord_Tryzalot
Wouldn't it be a half-halfing(quarterling?)? seems too big for a halfing mother, unless fem halfings are Kuroinu tiers of elastic/fem halfings and fem humans give birth to appropriate size babies and they later grow up to their freak height/ it's a tigon vs liger kind of deal(in which case, ouch for the femhalfing delivering the male human offspring)
@Inmate
Martials btfo
@BunnyJinx
Celestial & Demon from the PC prequel books & Death's Little Helper Belkar. He refuses a res because he is now in an Epic level Campaign fighting the endless Hordes of Demons from Hell. Occasional collab with Xykon because he is bored.
@RumChicken

Soft_member
Soft_member

@Soft_member
At this point Belkar might be one of the only "good" things left in the comic, despite the fact that his jokes are literally "You don't get to point out plotholes and then just ignore it" sometimes.

PurpleCharger
PurpleCharger

So we're going to glide past the fact that she named her kid, Kudzu?
Look up what the fuck kudzu is
The plant climbs over trees or shrubs and grows so rapidly that it kills them by heavy shading.
Hmmmmmm

AwesomeTucker
AwesomeTucker

@Flameblow
With that stupid prophecy leaving everyone guessing (with Belkar supposedly dead soon)

First, it's been established that the prophecies regarding Durkon might already be fulfilled. He returned to the Dwarven Lands posthumously (as a goddamned dracula) and has already dished out a fair share of death and destruction. "Odin knows what'll happen next, but we don't."

Second, the prophecy about Belkar only states that he'll "draw his last breath ever" by the end of the in-universe year. And it's also been established that draculas don't need to breathe...

King_Martha
King_Martha

I just want something to one shot that baby because there's nothing the stupid bitch can do to protect it from old fashioned HP damage then everyone to just stare at her like she's a fucking retard.

askme
askme

@King_Martha
That's so very much not going to happen.
Well.
Unless the death of his kid is the shock that gets Durkon to wrestle control away from Durkula.

Deadlyinx
Deadlyinx

@JunkTop
Check out familiar satchels. They provide total cover to familiars. Easy.

girlDog
girlDog

@Deadlyinx
Why did I look that up? What a retarded idea.

VisualMaster
VisualMaster

@TechHater
anon
I don't have time for reading
*removes everything to read*
Noice

FastChef
FastChef

@VisualMaster
plot device use instructions for fighters
Beautiful.

Ignoramus
Ignoramus

@FastChef
just a little snippet

whereismyname
whereismyname

@Soft_member
I think she's supposed to be projecting here. We already know she's Evil and has a... unique perspective on things done to her versus things she does to other people.
Also god damn why is it that every time a one-night stand occurs in fiction a kid results.

Emberfire
Emberfire

@Ignoramus
we can't loss
Son of a bitch, I wish I had thought of that.

TechHater
TechHater

Anyone have Trump 2016?

likme
likme

@AwesomeTucker
belkar gets vampirized
all of the members of the OotS are on guard because of what happened with Durkon
literally nothing's changed, he's exactly the same jackass he always was, except that he now needs to kill people for food sometimes instead of just for giggles

Sir_Gallonhead
Sir_Gallonhead

@likme
I doubt Belkar will be vampirized. I remember too much of the "Called it" when he bumped into Malack in the temple. Burlew's going to do something else, for drama and yanking the chains of his forum if nothing else.

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