Confession time, Veeky Forums.
I'll start. 3.5 game a few weeks ago.
Smuggling a +1 Keen Great Falchion made of Kaorti Resin (1d12, 15-20x4 2hander) into a low-power setting. Doing 60 damage at level 5 without power attacking.
Confession time, Veeky Forums.
I'll start. 3.5 game a few weeks ago.
Smuggling a +1 Keen Great Falchion made of Kaorti Resin (1d12, 15-20x4 2hander) into a low-power setting. Doing 60 damage at level 5 without power attacking.
No no user, you've got it breakfast.
THIS was the worst thing you did.
Oh in that case, I've been running a 3.5 game for like 5 years on and off with the same players/settings/characters. Guess I'm going to hell.
i participated in a furry 5e game and had
That -might- be okay. I mean furry as in catgirls with ears but it's normal d&d or furry as in commissioning artwork on furaffinity?
Furry as in everyone in the party was beastfolk, and a majority of the players -had- commission artwork.
Didn't have any weird and cringy "owo wats dis??" moments though.
I found out that our DM was planning on killing off my character for story reasons so i no showed last session. Every time we start getting to a serious climactic point i flake on the group.
Ive survived over two years doing this.
user, how did you know he was planning on killing off your character? Did you and the DM talk about it?
Out of character:
I tried playing without Shadowrun without houserules. Bad idea.
Being part of a Russian Mafia operation to smuggle and sell children as sex slaves. I never felt so uncomfortable while playing a character.
God damn it user, you’re not supposed to have fun
I know I'm both a degenerate and a monster
having that much of a pussy GM
Dude that's the best shit. He let the monk take 20 on initiative because we "weren't in combat yet."
I shat on the battle mat
the poor fucking bastard
things that never happened
Bullying a new GM for being bad at GMing and ruining his game so that it could end
Couldn't you have just stopped attending instead?
thats some way to make martials balanced
All PCs have safehouses
All PCs have differing hidden agendas while working toward a common end goal
Except one, who is actually a double agent working for the BBEG
Ruthless, manipulative, and very efficient
Covertly causes another PC, the Faceman, to fail a faction objective spectacularly
Double agent admits own fault in Faceman's failure, offers to make amends
"Bring me to your safehouse, and I'll explain what happened to your superiors."
Faceman, being a rather naive doofus, agrees
Game is set in the 80's, so everyone uses fax to communicate with their own factions
Double agent convinces Faceman to wait in the other room while he faxes
Double agent bugs the fax machine
My horrible crime
...I had Faceman make a spot check each time he used the fax
He uncovered it two sessions later
Double agent deserved to get away scot-free and I fucked it up
Faceman wised up a bit. In the next campaign, he ended up being the BBEG and was scarily effective and tactical and nearly TPKed the others. I can hardly believe it was the same guy.
Damn man, that must feel bad, both for the double agent to get fucked and for you long term.
The DM should never have a "story reason" to kill a player character without their consent. It's a dick move.
How is that a crime? How do you find out somethign liek that? Did he have a fucking ntoe saying "Gotta kill user,don't forget that"? Is this bait?
3.5 is good though
3.5 is fine as long as you realise that it's main strength lies in it being an incredibly detailed skirmish wargame.
Can you do other stuff in it? Sure, but the vast majority of its rules are geared towards combat and the sheer breadth and depth of options verges on the ludicrous.
I intentionally do not shower before i go to game night because it would break character.
I get way too attached to my characters, and dislike the idea that they could be killed in game.
In that vein, I once dropped a game pre-Session 0 because the GM didn't approve of my character concept. I tried to be polite about it, if I can't play this character I'm interested in I'd rather just bow out. He went spare, we had a big fight. That might be the worst, I guess?
I got into my GM's booze when he wasnt looking and took a few things
I mindcontrolled the daughter of a paladin in my party and had a demonic child with her.
'It's not rape if mindcontrol'
What was the Character?
Gnoll Ex-paladin turned Sanctified Exemplar, with a teleport mishap with another gnoll causing us to fuse together into a two headed gnollgre
LOL I felt bad for you until this post.
You hungry user?
I once made a transphobic joke about a prostitute we met at the town market.
My DM never keeps track of spell slots so I sometimes slip a couple of extra 5th level spells under the radar in dire situations. I don't feel bad because he often throws too much shit at us but I don't feel good about it either.
I made a kobold ice/cold sorc
Picked Chaotic Neutral because lulz
I was (that guy) for quite a while
Kinda knew I was (that guy)
Thought everyone else was (that guy)
Did nothing to change my style, which consisted of throwing rock-filled snowballs
I was the fuck that one-shotted the BBEG and derailed the DM's dreams
I was happy about it
I think I've since cleaned up my act, but holy hell was I such a shithead to be in a party with
I started playing /tg/s somewhere when I was 10-11 years oldish. My dad was a substitute teacher and knew some of the students, so he DMed a RIFTS group. He brought me along because he thought it'd be fun for me (since I was fairly good at math at that age, he thought I'd have no trouble). I ended up making a mary sue character that plagarised a video game character and everyone had to begrudgingly deal with my shit for the few sessions I played in.
I'm the only person in my group that reads the rules portions of the rules book, so I sometimes neglect to mention rules when it benefits the party. Then later, when the enemies would benefit from the rule not being there, I'll bring it up, with the excuse "sorry, I forgot."
In the same vein, the rest of the group views me as some sort of arbiter of balance, so I'm really harsh on the balance of their homebrew stuff but slip complete optimized bullshit into mine.
I put at least one, usually more, references to my favorite vidya series into every game I run, and every character I play. Usually just names.
I realized that the more I plan, the less fun I have running a game, so I basically improv my sessions.
There was this girl.
She used to make super-slutty characters and I'd oblige her by helping her find rules to make them extra slutty or to make sure the characters were not extra useless.
Both in games we played and in 1 game I ran.
I used to be perma-GM. Only player always player “aloof” characters and would complain his characters had no reason to do the adventure. We all rolled our eyes. He never received much xp or any equipment. He still showed up.
Eborron(sp?) came out. Aloof buy buys it and falls in love. Everyone played “that guy” on him. His game lasted 3 sessions. He got upset that no one took his game seriously. He eventually left the group. Last I heard, he thinks we are dicks because we showed him for 3 sessions, what it was like to play with him for 2.5 years.
Shitty autocorrect. 2nd sentence should be “one player only played “aloof”....
I've had one of my PCs kidnapped by some sort of a cult and than raped by an eldritch abomination disguised as an old lady. The point of all this was to plant the 'sacred seed' inside of her to give birth to a new god (yeah, I thought that a mixture of Rosemary's Baby and Silent Hill 3 was a good idea for a horror game with an emphasis on bodyhorror)
A couple of sessions later her womb started to grow rapidly, and by that time both her and other PCs knew that she was pregnant with a monster, so they made the most logical decision... An abortion!
In a sewer.
With bare fists and some minor help of Webley Revolver.
I think that in spite of making up all this wicked shit, I was the one who felt the most disgusted in the end.
Well, it was planned as a major plot point, and I never did it for the rape itself. All in all, the scene of rape itself came out way too gross and I kept asking the players if they were okay with that and if I haven't crossed the line for the whole next week.
Kill yourself. Not even ironic or joking, literally go buy a cinder-block, tie it around your feet and throw yourself off a bridge.
I keep wanting to run a game but I eventually overthink everything and second guess myself. The only way I can GM without backing out two sessions in is if I run a pre-written module.
My favorite part of being a GM is picking fitting music and theme songs for the session, even if I don't use it 99% of the time.
That's horrible, user. Martials aren't supposed to be able to do things, you're just supposed to sit there and watch the wizard cast a spell that negates the whole encounter.
I steal a lot of my BBEG's quotes and motive from Death Grips lyrics.
have a sad cum bb
Worst Thing You've Done in Tabletop
Gasp in my shadow like everything that lives
My shadow incubate everything that is
Good thing my party only listens to smooth jazz
Got a pet gnome sex slave in an evil-game
Beat her half to death regularly
Forced her to cook her kin for us to eat
Forced her to eat the meals she cooked
Turned her into broken slave
Promptly got bored, killed her and got a new one.
waaah stop liking what I don't like
What kind of animal is that?
Player wants to GM and our current GM wants a break
Current GM is bad, but if you shut your eyes and pretend really hard it works
This guy is worse
Can't figure out what his characters would say
Nothing makes any sense
Constant rolls for pointless shit, get bogged down for hours on tedious tasks
Extremely massive and overblown threat that appears out of nowhere and still manages to do nothing
Our weapons and tactics don't work just because reasons
An army goes from being 'in the distance' to swarming a town in the space of a single turn
He had no idea how to proceed if we rigged defenses, so they just appeared I guess
Thankfully our original GM is a moron who loaded us up with magical post apocalyptic superweapons
New GM finally manages to shove us into clues that the threat is being controlled from a small set of islands
We completely ignore every sloppy hook and clue about the islands and the 'fascinating mystery' within and simply remove them from the face of the earth with a magical nuclear weapon
We don't even hide our metagaming or disdain for the poor quality of the GMing
We are both relieved and smug as we scribble the islands off of our world map
We literally blew up most of his 'campaign'
We say nothing until he says he doesn't want to GM again, and we agree
Original bad GM takes over again
Now he's done, and I am the only one who has GMd and had a positive response
I become forever GM, the punishment for my sins of being one of the assholes who helped obliterate the other guy's first attempt at storytelling
That Guy min/maxed, does CN shenanigans
NoobDM let him get Leadership, no one else gets to act in a situation because That Guy goes first along with his small army
Decide to build the most broken character I can, to out-perform That Guy
End up becoming That Guy; other That Guy quits the game because everyone hates him
Finish the campaign with my broken character, having to dial it back every combat so everyone else can play too.
Asked a mentally unstable guy I didn't like if he was autistic in a passive aggressive but superficially polite way that I knew would make him throw a tantrum that would get him kicked if he didn't leave on his own and got complimented for caring about everyone's fun after he rage quit.
The sin is that the memory makes me smile to this day.
The GM called for checks to see if we panicked the first time we tried to breathe water with Water Breathing. I failed, and made my character run off. I realised I was being a giant faggot in very short order and went back.
Other than that, the only other things that would count are my mediocre attempt at GMing and my characters lacking any sort of real personality are the only things that might count.
While I find the Idea of keeping your mouth shut when you know that the right rules aren't used revolting, it's your privilege as rule learner.
*DESIRE TO KNOW MORE INTENSIFIES*
looks like a sugar glider
I hope you no, that's nothing special. Like at all right? 60 damage crit, isn't exceptional by level 5. Like at all. A barbarian with a greataxe is critting for 60.
Played in someone's custom, no-magic setting. His setting even had rules for gaining nutrition from food and was meant to be a very serious game without any silliness.
His rules specified what PCs could carry at certain penalties, with a detailed list of what a bunch of common items weighed. He also had an entire combat class that involved throwing projectiles (like rocks by hand or from a sling). The rules also specified bonuses for throwing projectiles "from above, such as from terrain or atop a piece of furniture".
I tried setting up my PC as being a rock slinger who carried a war-table into battle, since one of the end tables in his giant lists was light enough to be carried around without any penalty.
Needless to say, he wouldn't let me do it but didn't have any explanation other than "I have to errata my fucking game because of you" (it was a print to order small run book). That GM fucking hated me from that day forward.
being an alcoholic
serious business 2: tabletop boogaloo
you shoulda done it anyway. something like that woulda been a story to tell
How long before it got sundered?
I think it's actually a Ringtailed Possum.
Bad DM promises us a low-magic, gritty old style D&D romp
Encourages us to make interesting, unoptimised characters
Proceeds to basically inflict Tomb of Bullshit on us
My character dies
super optimized Minotaur Barbarian called BRUTALUS MAXIMUS
smashes first two encounters
encounter three is designed to kill him
new character time
look bad DM in the eyes as I wrote a two next to BRUTALUS MAXIMUS and say “done”
Game sputtered on for a few more sessions until a more mature player said it was time to give up. I was at BRUTALUS MAXIMUS IV by that point.
Endless Legend? The Jotus?
Does only one head have to eat for it (them?) to be satiated?
now that I look more closely it seems you're right. I got thrown off since it seemed to small, must be young. The ones I've been seeing around were more large cat sized.
Iv'e changed my mind I think its a brushtail possum.
This didn't happen all the time, but here's a sample:
Her character concept is "a crazy biotech in the Rim built my body as a work of art, then put a kidnapped ego inside and performed psychosurgery on it until it became who I currently am". Her backstory hook is that she's constantly on the run from people who want her back for some reason.
She wants to make her character sexy and make the morph fancy, unique and if possible - strong
Ask her if what she's looking for is to feel like an over-engineered "perfect girl"
She say yes
We take a look at the rules and start slapping on features until we hit the max cap on drawbacks and exhaust all of the money (and some of the points)
Enhanced musculature, clean metabolism, enhanced senses, prehensile tail, wings, small(so she can use the wings), talons, chameleon skin - she basically ends up looking like a muscled loli succubus that barely needs to sleep or eat, produces almost no body waste, her sweat always smells pleasant, she can breathe underwater and can survive in extreme climates.
She reached her disadvantage cap (and went a bit past it) stacking negative ego traits to match her backstory - Faulty Education, Modified Behaviour (wearing clothes banned, having sex encouraged, etc.), Edited Memories, Real World Naivete
Players initially a bit scandalized, quickly come to accept it, even develop protective feelings for the character, seeing as she is sexy and (literaly) retarded.
Party needs to catch some informant, he hid in a night club during off hours.
They don't want to cause a violent scene, send the succubus to lure him out
She finds him, he proposes kinky sex, she literally cannot refuse
He just wanted to cuff her so he could get away.
He forgot about her tail
Grapples him with her tail and slams him into the wall until unconcious
Her other high point was molesting an assassin into joining the party
Surprisingly, it never did. The game only ran for like 5 hour as a one-shot though.
waaaaaaaaaah stop disliking what I like
You fucking cheater.
I mean, you guys were dicks…
My players are spergs and only I've proven to be the only one who can stand dming for them. No one knows that I get by inserting my magical realm into it. The worst part is...
I'm still doing it Guro Ryona Snuff Sex in the missionary position between two consenting lovers on their honey moon
Molesting an assassin
That's a fucking adorable kobold. Who's the artist?
I inadvertently derailed a planned party wipe that even took out the real That Guy's specially-made max-maxed Mary Sue, and I'm proud of it despite the drama it caused.
playing a homebrew game based on colorful horse show
griffon berserker-type class
griffon because flying is awesome and I wanted to be edgy about eating meat and ponies being racist
berserker because I misread it as a guardian/protector thing
class is based around "courage" earned by dealing or receiving damage
can spend points for various abilities, mostly a "standard attack plus bleed"
also has an ability that nullifies one point of damage per two courage points
fighting big boss monster
figure I don't need to use my bleed attack since Mary-Sue exists
DM eventually narrates that it's on its last legs
unleashes desperation attack
hits everyone for 100 (nonlethal) damage
That Guy is annoyed his character got wiped out
I speak up
"I'm going to ignore that attack."
I had saved up about 280 courage points
and just blew 200 of them to be able to walk up to the boss and kill it
GM is in disbelief
That Guy is incredibly mad
quick break while GM tries to figure out how to get the plot to do plot thingsf
I'm glad it was on Roll20 so they couldn't see me laughing my ass off. I shouldn't've done it, but I couldn't resist. Got my class nerfed to hell and back for it (and That Guy's class got buffed further to give *his* character a daily "ignore a hit").
Why would you keep playing with someone who plans a party wipe and then nerfs your character when it doesn't work on him?
planned party wipe
Fuck that GM.
It was supposed to be a setup for an escape from a cell in the monster's lair - all of us were pretty new, so I didn't think much of it. And I stopped playing shortly after the nerf, though the straw that broke the camel's back was That Guy's character was revealed to be the daughter of Hades, at which point I and the other decent player (was a changeling who liked to curl up on the griffon's back) realized this wasn't so much a game as it was the DM providing authority support for That Guy's shitty fanfiction.
lol I read everyone's minds and share their deepest secrets
also I singlehoofedly contain, and seduce, a big evil that canonically overpowered one of the most powerful beings in the entire setting
omg why is the character whose mind I failed to read angry and distrustful of me?
I don't understand why the other PCs are upset after I pulled them into a shared dream where I fucked my waifu???
I do more damage than everyone else combined, why don't people like me?
also guys u have to be nice 2 me I have three incredibly rare and terminal diseases
I really only stayed on so long because where else was I gonna get to play as a griffon? Griffons are cool.
But yeah, hindsight is 20/20. At least it wasn't a "lol make new characters" thing and more just really strict railroading.
I caused 9/11
cares this much about stealing
probably pirates pdf's of rulebooks
As much as DnD is shit, people who make this comments are even worse.
Raped a child npc.
I found out that our DM was planning on killing off my character for story reasons
DM was planning on killing off my character
Please tell me this is bait
But why though
How would you even balance that
So many questions
Did you consider maybe he keeps throwing too much shit at you because you cheat?
Did you play as a Paladin in ivory armour, by any chance?
Or was it a sci-fi setting where you commanded a Beta-class Orbital strike ship?
Come up with grimdark, gross stuff
Gross-out and disturb myself by how the game plays out
I know that feel
Yeah, what else are you supposed to do with gnomes?
Are you me?
My "lucky dice" for rolling characters are weighted dice I bought to cheat at high school D&D eleven years ago. I've been using them every time I roll up new characters for a decade and I don't even feel bad.
One guy in my group has poor impulse control so I constantly message him and egg him on to do stupid things at the expense of our party so that it will make the challenges we do tougher. For example:
party spying on a bunch of drow nobles making deals
we're all invisible and teleporty
keep kicking him in the leg until he says something too loud
now drow are on high alert and attack us
tfw you aren’t the only weighted-die cheater on the board
Sometimes I use/mix in weighted dice after rolling bad stats or when I really need damage. I always bring a few dozen dice and mix up which ones I use during the game, so no one ever notices. I feel no shame.
I cheat at a cooperative game of pretend
I just don't understand.
I made a character that only needed 3 rounds of setup for a total one shot on practically anything by abusing a power called "boost". my total damage output was around 70 at level 5.
In my defense I knew my entire party would be useless, and they were.
I once killed a campaign because they other players were mean to me and didn't apologize.
To be fair, I had my IC reasons for doing such, and after attempting to make sure that the other guys' characters couldn't bully me IC they made sure my decision was either "get killed and reroll" or "betray the party and get immortality." Not really a hard choice to make.
Still, I feel bad because we were all having a lot of fun up until that session.
were they mean IC or OOC?
we all play human because were fucking munchkins who want free feats
have a joke in game that our characters only like humans and won't talk to non humans
new guy joins group
he brings a halfling wizard to the game
Halfling signs up with our adventuring party
we start cracking jokes like ''How's the weather down there small fry'' and ''Let's play toss the halfling when we get to a campsite''
guy is fake smiling through all this
never came back for a second session
Rolling for stats is so awful that this is completely understandable.
23.33 DPR isn't overpowered at level 5.
Sex in the missionary position between two consenting lovers on their honey moon
You're a sick and depraved person and should seek professional help. I can't believe they let degenerates like you roam freely.
I once DM'ed a game of D20 modern. Talked to my players about what kind of game they'd like and eventually we settled on playing a "Dieselpunk What if the Nazis won" game. My players were playing a small American resistance cell, they essentially just tried to survive and seek a safe haven. I decided to play along as a DM, but my character was secretly a Nazi agent recruited in America. Just briefly before the conclusion of the adventure and a happy ending, I reveal myself, wearing a fancy SS uniform, and ambush my players with a large squad of elite SS soldiers. One of the players quickdrew a revolver and put a bullet into my character's skull before the shootout and honestly I fucking deserved it.
I wanna join one of your games.
Stealing physical shit from a friend who is letting you chill in their house is quite a bit worse than pirating a pdf.
And your first post seemed so rational. It all makes sense now.
I didn't know anyone else had this feel. I should have figured. Right down to the music, too, plan on having it fully orchestrated and planned out. I just get daunted by the scale of what I want to do and never do it. I run one shots because of this.
I mean, being a GM frustrated with people not taking it seriously enough occasionally and that being an actual print thing, that is kind of a dick move. However, he probably shouldn't have printed it up without a playtest first, and he absolutely should have expected players to do some dumb shit like that without one first.
Plus, a piece of furniture seems like a real low threshold for extra damage in that situation, but hey.
I mean. Yeah. I can sometimes go okay, it can sort of be classic, but it can also be aggressively the fuck awful. Once I rolled better stats than I could ever have set, and otherwise I have always hated it.
I'm currently in a Tomb of Annihilation game where we rolled stats. Since it's a child of ToH I sort of get it, and I know negative bonuses exist for a reason, but I am still assmad I rolled a six and an eight wasn't allowed to reroll a single die.
You are what is wrong with the hobby right now.
Since it's a child of ToH I sort of get it
Tomb of Horrors is shit though. It's not the good kind of difficult, just trial and error that fucks you over for not being able to read the DM's mind. People just pretend to like it out of tryhardism.
I called our gnome wizard a Gnigger for fireballing me
wow you have autism
they probably blog on 4chin behind your back and are waiting to replace you at any moment aswell, user
playing on roll20
bored of playing
totally lost in what DM was doing
start drinking heavily
google the name of the fort we were crawling through
find the setpiece online
start reading out what is going to happen
I got dropped for a solid 3 years over that one
Well, yeah, and that's why ToA is more a loving tribute than a direct adaption. I just get that some people like random chance in it or being "classic DnD". I guess it can sort of prevent munchkin bullshit but we're not a group that does it, being gimped is just fucking annoying, still not happy about rolling stats.
I just get that some people like random chance in it or being "classic DnD".
This might be the single biggest problem in the hobby: the idea that because something is old it's good, and everyone should keep doing it forever.
It's worse when it's
this is traditional, we should keep doing it
never mind that it was designed to work under a completely different paradigm to the one we're using it in
what do you mean it's shit
you just want change for change's sake
Tried to reverse search
nothing but hurricane Harvey
I once sold out one of my party members for a bottle of booze.
In my defence, my character was an incurable alcoholic and it was some really fancy booze.