Worst Thing You've Done in Tabletop

Confession time, Veeky Forums.

I'll start. 3.5 game a few weeks ago.
Smuggling a +1 Keen Great Falchion made of Kaorti Resin (1d12, 15-20x4 2hander) into a low-power setting. Doing 60 damage at level 5 without power attacking.

No no user, you've got it breakfast.
>3.5
THIS was the worst thing you did.

Backwards*, fuck.

Oh in that case, I've been running a 3.5 game for like 5 years on and off with the same players/settings/characters. Guess I'm going to hell.

i participated in a furry 5e game and had fun

That -might- be okay. I mean furry as in catgirls with ears but it's normal d&d or furry as in commissioning artwork on furaffinity?

Furry as in everyone in the party was beastfolk, and a majority of the players -had- commission artwork.

Didn't have any weird and cringy "owo wats dis??" moments though.

I found out that our DM was planning on killing off my character for story reasons so i no showed last session. Every time we start getting to a serious climactic point i flake on the group.

Ive survived over two years doing this.

user, how did you know he was planning on killing off your character? Did you and the DM talk about it?

Out of character:
I tried playing without Shadowrun without houserules. Bad idea.

In character:
Being part of a Russian Mafia operation to smuggle and sell children as sex slaves. I never felt so uncomfortable while playing a character.

God damn it user, you’re not supposed to have fun

I know I'm both a degenerate and a monster

>having that much of a pussy GM
lol

Dude that's the best shit. He let the monk take 20 on initiative because we "weren't in combat yet."

I shat on the battle mat

the poor fucking bastard

>things that never happened

Bullying a new GM for being bad at GMing and ruining his game so that it could end

Couldn't you have just stopped attending instead?

Yes

thats some way to make martials balanced

>DMing Spycraft
>All PCs have safehouses
>All PCs have differing hidden agendas while working toward a common end goal
>Except one, who is actually a double agent working for the BBEG
>Ruthless, manipulative, and very efficient
>Covertly causes another PC, the Faceman, to fail a faction objective spectacularly
>Double agent admits own fault in Faceman's failure, offers to make amends
>"Bring me to your safehouse, and I'll explain what happened to your superiors."
>Faceman, being a rather naive doofus, agrees
>Game is set in the 80's, so everyone uses fax to communicate with their own factions
>Double agent convinces Faceman to wait in the other room while he faxes
>Double agent bugs the fax machine
>My horrible crime
>...I had Faceman make a spot check each time he used the fax
>He uncovered it two sessions later
>Double agent deserved to get away scot-free and I fucked it up
>mfw remembering

Faceman wised up a bit. In the next campaign, he ended up being the BBEG and was scarily effective and tactical and nearly TPKed the others. I can hardly believe it was the same guy.

Damn man, that must feel bad, both for the double agent to get fucked and for you long term.

The DM should never have a "story reason" to kill a player character without their consent. It's a dick move.

How is that a crime? How do you find out somethign liek that? Did he have a fucking ntoe saying "Gotta kill user,don't forget that"? Is this bait?

3.5 is good though

3.5 is fine as long as you realise that it's main strength lies in it being an incredibly detailed skirmish wargame.
Can you do other stuff in it? Sure, but the vast majority of its rules are geared towards combat and the sheer breadth and depth of options verges on the ludicrous.

I intentionally do not shower before i go to game night because it would break character.

I get way too attached to my characters, and dislike the idea that they could be killed in game.
In that vein, I once dropped a game pre-Session 0 because the GM didn't approve of my character concept. I tried to be polite about it, if I can't play this character I'm interested in I'd rather just bow out. He went spare, we had a big fight. That might be the worst, I guess?

I got into my GM's booze when he wasnt looking and took a few things

I mindcontrolled the daughter of a paladin in my party and had a demonic child with her.

'It's not rape if mindcontrol'

What was the Character?

Gnoll Ex-paladin turned Sanctified Exemplar, with a teleport mishap with another gnoll causing us to fuse together into a two headed gnollgre

LOL I felt bad for you until this post.

...

You hungry user?

I once made a transphobic joke about a prostitute we met at the town market.

My DM never keeps track of spell slots so I sometimes slip a couple of extra 5th level spells under the radar in dire situations. I don't feel bad because he often throws too much shit at us but I don't feel good about it either.

>I made a kobold ice/cold sorc
>Picked Chaotic Neutral because lulz
>I was (that guy) for quite a while
>Kinda knew I was (that guy)
>Thought everyone else was (that guy)
>Did nothing to change my style, which consisted of throwing rock-filled snowballs
>I was the fuck that one-shotted the BBEG and derailed the DM's dreams
>I was happy about it
I think I've since cleaned up my act, but holy hell was I such a shithead to be in a party with

I started playing Veeky Forumss somewhere when I was 10-11 years oldish. My dad was a substitute teacher and knew some of the students, so he DMed a RIFTS group. He brought me along because he thought it'd be fun for me (since I was fairly good at math at that age, he thought I'd have no trouble). I ended up making a mary sue character that plagarised a video game character and everyone had to begrudgingly deal with my shit for the few sessions I played in.

I'm the only person in my group that reads the rules portions of the rules book, so I sometimes neglect to mention rules when it benefits the party. Then later, when the enemies would benefit from the rule not being there, I'll bring it up, with the excuse "sorry, I forgot."
In the same vein, the rest of the group views me as some sort of arbiter of balance, so I'm really harsh on the balance of their homebrew stuff but slip complete optimized bullshit into mine.
I put at least one, usually more, references to my favorite vidya series into every game I run, and every character I play. Usually just names.
I realized that the more I plan, the less fun I have running a game, so I basically improv my sessions.

There was this girl.
She used to make super-slutty characters and I'd oblige her by helping her find rules to make them extra slutty or to make sure the characters were not extra useless.

Both in games we played and in 1 game I ran.

...

I used to be perma-GM. Only player always player “aloof” characters and would complain his characters had no reason to do the adventure. We all rolled our eyes. He never received much xp or any equipment. He still showed up.

Eborron(sp?) came out. Aloof buy buys it and falls in love. Everyone played “that guy” on him. His game lasted 3 sessions. He got upset that no one took his game seriously. He eventually left the group. Last I heard, he thinks we are dicks because we showed him for 3 sessions, what it was like to play with him for 2.5 years.

Shitty autocorrect. 2nd sentence should be “one player only played “aloof”....

I've had one of my PCs kidnapped by some sort of a cult and than raped by an eldritch abomination disguised as an old lady. The point of all this was to plant the 'sacred seed' inside of her to give birth to a new god (yeah, I thought that a mixture of Rosemary's Baby and Silent Hill 3 was a good idea for a horror game with an emphasis on bodyhorror)
A couple of sessions later her womb started to grow rapidly, and by that time both her and other PCs knew that she was pregnant with a monster, so they made the most logical decision... An abortion!
In a sewer.
With bare fists and some minor help of Webley Revolver.

I think that in spite of making up all this wicked shit, I was the one who felt the most disgusted in the end.

Well, it was planned as a major plot point, and I never did it for the rape itself. All in all, the scene of rape itself came out way too gross and I kept asking the players if they were okay with that and if I haven't crossed the line for the whole next week.

Kill yourself. Not even ironic or joking, literally go buy a cinder-block, tie it around your feet and throw yourself off a bridge.

I keep wanting to run a game but I eventually overthink everything and second guess myself. The only way I can GM without backing out two sessions in is if I run a pre-written module.

My favorite part of being a GM is picking fitting music and theme songs for the session, even if I don't use it 99% of the time.

That's horrible, user. Martials aren't supposed to be able to do things, you're just supposed to sit there and watch the wizard cast a spell that negates the whole encounter.

I steal a lot of my BBEG's quotes and motive from Death Grips lyrics.

have a sad cum bb

>Worst Thing You've Done in Tabletop
Show up...

>Gasp in my shadow like everything that lives
>My shadow incubate everything that is

Good thing my party only listens to smooth jazz

Ugh

Got a pet gnome sex slave in an evil-game
Beat her half to death regularly
Forced her to cook her kin for us to eat
Forced her to eat the meals she cooked
Turned her into broken slave
Promptly got bored, killed her and got a new one.

>waaah stop liking what I don't like

What kind of animal is that?

>Player wants to GM and our current GM wants a break
>Current GM is bad, but if you shut your eyes and pretend really hard it works
>This guy is worse
>Can't figure out what his characters would say
>Nothing makes any sense
>Contradictions constantly
>Constant rolls for pointless shit, get bogged down for hours on tedious tasks
>Extremely massive and overblown threat that appears out of nowhere and still manages to do nothing
>Our weapons and tactics don't work just because reasons
>An army goes from being 'in the distance' to swarming a town in the space of a single turn
>He had no idea how to proceed if we rigged defenses, so they just appeared I guess
>Thankfully our original GM is a moron who loaded us up with magical post apocalyptic superweapons
>New GM finally manages to shove us into clues that the threat is being controlled from a small set of islands
>We completely ignore every sloppy hook and clue about the islands and the 'fascinating mystery' within and simply remove them from the face of the earth with a magical nuclear weapon
>We don't even hide our metagaming or disdain for the poor quality of the GMing
>We are both relieved and smug as we scribble the islands off of our world map
>We literally blew up most of his 'campaign'
>We say nothing until he says he doesn't want to GM again, and we agree
>Original bad GM takes over again
>Now he's done, and I am the only one who has GMd and had a positive response
>I become forever GM, the punishment for my sins of being one of the assholes who helped obliterate the other guy's first attempt at storytelling

Doughnut marmot.

>That Guy min/maxed, does CN shenanigans
>NoobDM let him get Leadership, no one else gets to act in a situation because That Guy goes first along with his small army
>Decide to build the most broken character I can, to out-perform That Guy
>End up becoming That Guy; other That Guy quits the game because everyone hates him
>Finish the campaign with my broken character, having to dial it back every combat so everyone else can play too.

Asked a mentally unstable guy I didn't like if he was autistic in a passive aggressive but superficially polite way that I knew would make him throw a tantrum that would get him kicked if he didn't leave on his own and got complimented for caring about everyone's fun after he rage quit.
The sin is that the memory makes me smile to this day.

The GM called for checks to see if we panicked the first time we tried to breathe water with Water Breathing. I failed, and made my character run off. I realised I was being a giant faggot in very short order and went back.

Other than that, the only other things that would count are my mediocre attempt at GMing and my characters lacking any sort of real personality are the only things that might count.

While I find the Idea of keeping your mouth shut when you know that the right rules aren't used revolting, it's your privilege as rule learner.

*DESIRE TO KNOW MORE INTENSIFIES*

bump

looks like a sugar glider

I hope you no, that's nothing special. Like at all right? 60 damage crit, isn't exceptional by level 5. Like at all. A barbarian with a greataxe is critting for 60.

Played in someone's custom, no-magic setting. His setting even had rules for gaining nutrition from food and was meant to be a very serious game without any silliness.

His rules specified what PCs could carry at certain penalties, with a detailed list of what a bunch of common items weighed. He also had an entire combat class that involved throwing projectiles (like rocks by hand or from a sling). The rules also specified bonuses for throwing projectiles "from above, such as from terrain or atop a piece of furniture".

I tried setting up my PC as being a rock slinger who carried a war-table into battle, since one of the end tables in his giant lists was light enough to be carried around without any penalty.

Needless to say, he wouldn't let me do it but didn't have any explanation other than "I have to errata my fucking game because of you" (it was a print to order small run book). That GM fucking hated me from that day forward.

lmaooo noice

>being an alcoholic

>serious business 2: tabletop boogaloo
you shoulda done it anyway. something like that woulda been a story to tell

How long before it got sundered?

I think it's actually a Ringtailed Possum.

I’m glad I’ve never had to play with your sort

>Bad DM promises us a low-magic, gritty old style D&D romp
> Encourages us to make interesting, unoptimised characters
> Proceeds to basically inflict Tomb of Bullshit on us
> My character dies
> fuckyou.jpg
> new character
> super optimized Minotaur Barbarian called BRUTALUS MAXIMUS
> smashes first two encounters
> encounter three is designed to kill him
> i die
> new character time
> look bad DM in the eyes as I wrote a two next to BRUTALUS MAXIMUS and say “done”

Game sputtered on for a few more sessions until a more mature player said it was time to give up. I was at BRUTALUS MAXIMUS IV by that point.

Endless Legend? The Jotus?

Does only one head have to eat for it (them?) to be satiated?

now that I look more closely it seems you're right. I got thrown off since it seemed to small, must be young. The ones I've been seeing around were more large cat sized.

Iv'e changed my mind I think its a brushtail possum.

This didn't happen all the time, but here's a sample:
>Eclipse Phase
>Her character concept is "a crazy biotech in the Rim built my body as a work of art, then put a kidnapped ego inside and performed psychosurgery on it until it became who I currently am". Her backstory hook is that she's constantly on the run from people who want her back for some reason.
>She wants to make her character sexy and make the morph fancy, unique and if possible - strong
>Ask her if what she's looking for is to feel like an over-engineered "perfect girl"
>She say yes
>We take a look at the rules and start slapping on features until we hit the max cap on drawbacks and exhaust all of the money (and some of the points)
>Enhanced musculature, clean metabolism, enhanced senses, prehensile tail, wings, small(so she can use the wings), talons, chameleon skin - she basically ends up looking like a muscled loli succubus that barely needs to sleep or eat, produces almost no body waste, her sweat always smells pleasant, she can breathe underwater and can survive in extreme climates.
>She reached her disadvantage cap (and went a bit past it) stacking negative ego traits to match her backstory - Faulty Education, Modified Behaviour (wearing clothes banned, having sex encouraged, etc.), Edited Memories, Real World Naivete

>Game starts
>Players initially a bit scandalized, quickly come to accept it, even develop protective feelings for the character, seeing as she is sexy and (literaly) retarded.
>Party needs to catch some informant, he hid in a night club during off hours.
>They don't want to cause a violent scene, send the succubus to lure him out
>She finds him, he proposes kinky sex, she literally cannot refuse
>He just wanted to cuff her so he could get away.
>He forgot about her tail
>Grapples him with her tail and slams him into the wall until unconcious
>Her other high point was molesting an assassin into joining the party

kek

Surprisingly, it never did. The game only ran for like 5 hour as a one-shot though.

>waaaaaaaaaah stop disliking what I like

You fucking cheater.

I mean, you guys were dicks…

My players are spergs and only I've proven to be the only one who can stand dming for them. No one knows that I get by inserting my magical realm into it. The worst part is... I'm still doing it

Guro
Ryona
Snuff
Sex in the missionary position between two consenting lovers on their honey moon

>Molesting an assassin
Fucking priceless

That's a fucking adorable kobold. Who's the artist?

I inadvertently derailed a planned party wipe that even took out the real That Guy's specially-made max-maxed Mary Sue, and I'm proud of it despite the drama it caused.
>playing a homebrew game based on colorful horse show
>griffon berserker-type class
>griffon because flying is awesome and I wanted to be edgy about eating meat and ponies being racist
>berserker because I misread it as a guardian/protector thing
>class is based around "courage" earned by dealing or receiving damage
>can spend points for various abilities, mostly a "standard attack plus bleed"
>also has an ability that nullifies one point of damage per two courage points
>fighting big boss monster
>figure I don't need to use my bleed attack since Mary-Sue exists
>DM eventually narrates that it's on its last legs
>unleashes desperation attack
>hits everyone for 100 (nonlethal) damage
>That Guy is annoyed his character got wiped out
>I speak up
>"I'm going to ignore that attack."
>wait what
>I had saved up about 280 courage points
>and just blew 200 of them to be able to walk up to the boss and kill it
>GM is in disbelief
>That Guy is incredibly mad
>quick break while GM tries to figure out how to get the plot to do plot thingsf
I'm glad it was on Roll20 so they couldn't see me laughing my ass off. I shouldn't've done it, but I couldn't resist. Got my class nerfed to hell and back for it (and That Guy's class got buffed further to give *his* character a daily "ignore a hit").

Why would you keep playing with someone who plans a party wipe and then nerfs your character when it doesn't work on him?

>planned party wipe
Fuck that GM.

It was supposed to be a setup for an escape from a cell in the monster's lair - all of us were pretty new, so I didn't think much of it. And I stopped playing shortly after the nerf, though the straw that broke the camel's back was That Guy's character was revealed to be the daughter of Hades, at which point I and the other decent player (was a changeling who liked to curl up on the griffon's back) realized this wasn't so much a game as it was the DM providing authority support for That Guy's shitty fanfiction.
>lol I read everyone's minds and share their deepest secrets
>also I singlehoofedly contain, and seduce, a big evil that canonically overpowered one of the most powerful beings in the entire setting
>omg why is the character whose mind I failed to read angry and distrustful of me?
>I don't understand why the other PCs are upset after I pulled them into a shared dream where I fucked my waifu???
>I do more damage than everyone else combined, why don't people like me?
>also guys u have to be nice 2 me I have three incredibly rare and terminal diseases
I really only stayed on so long because where else was I gonna get to play as a griffon? Griffons are cool.

But yeah, hindsight is 20/20. At least it wasn't a "lol make new characters" thing and more just really strict railroading.

Australian opossum.

I caused 9/11

>cares this much about stealing
>probably pirates pdf's of rulebooks

As much as DnD is shit, people who make this comments are even worse.

Raped a child npc.

>I found out that our DM was planning on killing off my character for story reasons
>DM was planning on killing off my character
Please tell me this is bait

But why though
How would you even balance that
So many questions

Did you consider maybe he keeps throwing too much shit at you because you cheat?