Loser Thread

...How?

plague?

see >not even a plague from a rat

I had to deal two wounds to an enemy to not get pasted against the wall and only dealt one.

DM still stepped in to let my character live since this was basically the tutorial, but I'm pretty sure I could have survived on my own if I'd just not been retarded.

Storytime please!

But I don't know when exactly I failed or at what, but I GM a regular Maid game as my only campaign, so clearly I've failed something serious. Is there such a thing as a dignity check?

Incredibly shitty rolls and having no armor, basically.
>playing Pathfinder, level 1 group of three, I'm a wizard
>investigating a string of murders, primary suspects are the town alchemist and the blacksmith
>we split up, I go investigate the alchemist alone (on the grounds that a blacksmith would be more dangerous in combat than an alchemist)
>enter his house, get immediately attacked by a rat jumping out of its cage (who, according to the GM, was "a soon-to-be test subject that was attacking in a panicked frenzy")
>we roll initiative, I come in second so I'm flatfooted, so my AC is fucking 10
>rat attempts to bite my face, rolls a 15, then rolls a fucking 3, so half my health is obliterated by this rat from the get go
>pissed off, I cast Ray of Frost on the rat
>fucking 9, "the rat darts out of the way"
>rat attacks me again, rolls a 13 which beats my AC again, bites my leg for another 1 damage
>I attempt to bash it's face in with my staff, roll an 8 "the rat darts out of the way"
>rat bites me again, rolls an 18, and rolls another 3, so now I'm downed
>roll to stabilize, get a 2
>at this point I'm pretty sure the GM is in awe of what is happening, which is why he has the rat still fucking attack
>beat my AC (not hard since I'm helpless at this point), does 2 more damage
>I basically get into a stabilize/rat bite loop until I fucking die
The entire time the rest of the group has no idea what to do, they're trying to come up with logical excuses as to why they can come back to check on me while they're halfway across town (and I'm convinced on some level they didn't want to help, either).

remember that thing about splitting the party? this is why

This is why mages were babysat by the rest of the party until they reached at least level 8 in AD&D.

Wow... roll-facilitated physical impossibilities can be amusing when they're in the players' favor, but when they're not...

That's bad odds of happening, but still only about a one in 1,000,
It's three times more likely than successfully navigating an asteroid field.

What kind of steroid riddled rat were you fighting that was able to deal 3 fucking damage with one roll?

I play Lamenters. So alla time, user

>which is why he has the rat still fucking attack
Why would it not still attack?

>searching for a game on roll20
>see a forge of fury one-shot planned to run for like 8 hours in one day
>dm looks solid, players look alright
>aw hell yeah
>game start time is early as fuck because the DM is from the UK
>whatever, i have the day off and can wake up early for it
>spend a week getting hyped, building my character
>go to bed early the night before so i can wake up early, set my alarm for an hour before the game starts
>alarm doesn't go off, end up waking up a full hour after the start time
>fucking pissed at myself and humiliated, immediately get onto discord, get on roll20
>apologize profusely, they're already in combat
>rush in and help, having a fucking blast
>this DM is a real cool guy and the game is good as hell
>maybe 30 minutes go by since i start playing
>get disconnected from roll20
>disconnected from discord
>disconnected from the internet completely
>hop on my phone, enable mobile data, and apologize profusely once again while resetting my shit and trying to figure out what the fuck is wrong
>call my roommate and ask what the fuck is up with the internet (his responsibility to pay the internet bill)
>that motherfucker fucking forgot to pay it
>filled with intense rage and sadness, by the time the internet is back up the game's already fucking over
>apologize a million fucking times to the dm
>hang my head in shame and humiliation for the next couple days

That's not you failing though, that's having shit roomies who deserve to do the dishes for a fucking month for shit like that.

I Accidentally a guy's neck while trying to heal his foot. Three nat 1's in a row and he's a goner. It was a fucking important NPC in an Adventure's League game, too.

A commissioner ghosted me halfway through a piece once I mentioned payment and reminded me that people who like ladyknights will always be the worst fucking wastes of space in this hobby.

When I played a game for the very first time on the very first round.

I was first late to show up. I made a shit character. And I got food grease on everything

When I left my group.

I left primarily because the host's house was a goddamn pigsty unfit for human habitation. My clothes stank after each session, the bathrooms made me gag, and the place showed no sign of having been cleaned since the DM moved in.

I also left because the place was a 45 minute drive away. Driving for 90 minutes a day just for D&D when I can probably find a dozen games right here in town is silly, especially if it means putting up with a house like that.

And how exactly was that a failure on your part? Seems like you're describing the DM's failing dramatically.

>I was first late to show up.
Okay, everyone is sometimes delayed, I can understand real life happens.
>I made a shit character.
You were new. Everyone was shit when they were new. Nobody is great at it the first time they try it.
>And I got food grease on everything
Get out.

My party came to attack a cornered foe in a walled fortress-town with no reasonable escape. The party came with an army on their side, their force outnumbering the enemy's 10:1, and the enemy was recuperating from a lethal march in bitter cold after being attacked by a dragon (which the party had a hand in). It's ~2AD.

All was going well until the enemy broke out the rifles and wiped the floor with their army's charge. Then it got worse.

For eight months of our campaign my character spent looking for her mentor, who had without warning, betrayed everything they had both believed in, the philosophy and dogma that had saved her life. He did this without warning or explanation and the for the whole game until then she'd been single-mindedly devoted to tracking him down and finding out the truth.

They finally had their big climactic encounter, fought, and she won, learning the secret of his devastating finishing move in the process.

I had her save this technique until the critical moment against the boss of the current plot climax. I really should have known it would be a natural 1, putting a comically farcical spin on almost a year of campaigning, but I remember just staring at the dice for a long time and hearing this dull roar.

I've never been kicked in the nuts this hard by RNG, which is saying something given how I usually roll

>Be Wizard, brains of group
>Party tasked with killing two dragons that are terrorizing the countryside
>They live on duelling mountains
>Come up with plan, party agrees with it because he's the smart one and makes the best plans
>Wait until dragons are out hunting
>Go to den of larger dragon and steal all their treasure
>Go to den of smaller dragon and put all of larger dragon's treasure in it
>Idea is once dragons get back, larger one discovers that the smaller one stole their stuff, attacks and kills the smaller one, and party jumps in and kills the larger one after he's tired and weak from fighting the other one
>imagenius.tapestry
>Dragons come back
>Together
>Easily realize that someone else fucked with the treasures
>The two dragons burn the countryside in punishment for the puny mortals thinking they can fuck with dragons
>95% of local population burned alive
>Party now has to take on two alert, enraged dragons, who will most likely work together if threatened

Attached: 4.jpg (765x447, 77K)

A game of RPS. I did Rick, they did paper.

I've bombed the last 7 applications to games I've ever attempted.

Attached: 1520737614209.jpg (900x630, 174K)

That's a failure in food choice. We have gaming food recommendation threads for a reason.

maybe we can help, got a greentext?

Last year. Broke my nose badly, lost my job, lost most of my sense of taste and smell, had a mental break down, and have moved back home now to wait for an operation that might fix the nose a bit.

I want to fuck Ribbon

In one game, my character failed to accomplish anything, ever, to the point where she felt she couldn't succeed at anything and was useless.
In another, I passed rolls once per session or so, rolling a three in a 2d6+mod system more times than should be possible.
A few years ago, I messed up rescuing an NPC bad enough to start a world war.
In the current game I'm in, I have once again managed to only succeed once per session, usually due to the enemies rolling better on defensive rolls

Yesterday, while playing Genesys. 4 rolls, 6 Despairs.

Playing Curse of Strahd.
Last session we escorted an NPC the vampire wants to kidnap. He ambushes us, straight up wants to take her. We are 3 level 5 characters and 1 level 3. No chance against him. So I wildshape to distract him as they flee, but he dealt something like 60 damage to me, knocking me I to human form and without much hp. Change of plans, I turn into a hotse and ride away with the npc. Strahd shoots a 5th level fireball and knocks her unconscious. I make my save, 1 hp left as a horse. I flee.
He takes her, but she still seems alive.
Now, we are going to an abbey, I figure there's a chance people can get resurrected there. So I hit the space they're in with a Moonbeam for 16 radiant damage. This destroys her body into fine ash, for some reason. The Strahd finds me, despite the +15 to hide and the distance between us. And he kills me.
I figured I had decent odds of escaping, or at least raise the NPC. I swear, if the DM makes her an undead anyway, I'm quitting the game.

He could have fled the house once his opponent was downed. Except if he was extremely hungry, but it sounds like it was frightened and trying to get out.

Your GM hates you a rat it's only supposed to do 1d3 - 4 dmg meaning 1, period. Either your DM forgot how to read, just hates you, or it was a dire rat which does a d4.

Evertime I play warhammer.

This morning, when I thought I could do something productive for once.

In real life? I've spent the past week failing. It's Spring Break, and I haven't left the dorm since Friday.

Once went through a 2 hour stretch in a session rolling no higher than 3

Was standing at the back of the party. Got suplexed by an invisible monster out of nowhere. It proceeded to crit and possess me. Party proceeds to nearly get killed by my glass cannon character with the HP of a monster.

>trying to enter a dragonrider prestige class
>convince said dragon to allow me to ride it
>hop on, it takes to the skies
>fail a riding check
>fall out of the sky
>dragon swoops to pick me up
>dm realizes "wait a minute. this thing has poor flight control"
>get super slammed into the side of a canyon wall
>still alive, roll to grab onto the wall
>roll poorly
>slip fall try to tumble to reduce my falling damage
>fail poorly again
>taking a shit ton of damage, down to single digit hitpoints at the floor of this canyon
>dragon is banged up too, obv. failed to ride this thing
>it offers to let me just stand on it so my ego won't be so fucked up (and i could finally count for the class)
>slip, fall, break my neck, dying
>fail to stabilize, die
>dragon inherits my gear.

Next session, we're slaying that fucking dragon.

>Agree to run a game for four people at FLGS
>They ask for D&D 5e, agree
>They ask for an original setting, agree
>Spend the next month building setting, including a 20k pi x 20k pi map of the realm that cost me $30 to print
>Create 100+ unique monsters, magic items, weapons, etc
>Create half a dozen elaborate organizations for each sub-class.
>Colleges, theaters, tents etc for the Bards, a dozen savage tribes for the Barbarians, so on
>Divide the realm into six holds, each with a rich history and noble families
>Do the same for the several invading powers
>A whole new pantheon of over a dozen gods
>Everyone dives into the lore, I'm answering a dozen questions a day
>Character sheets get made and approved a week before game start
>Their characters are well designed with family and friends and connections to each other and a few of the non-player entities in the game
>One player even bought a leather art book and turned it into a bible for their character, wrote all their prayers and spells into it
>First game day, one player can't make it because of an accident, but will be there next week
>Next week, two players are missing because of work
>Third session, one player skips out for an MtG night with other friends
>Fourth session, they all ask to end the game since they feel it's going nowhere

What did I do wrong, Veeky Forums?

you put all that effort into something without taking into account that your players may just be huge letdowns. used to happen to me all the time. now I only put my best effort if I know my players are top quality