I am the master of pizza

BinaryMan
BinaryMan

I am the master of pizza

BunnyJinx
BunnyJinx

@BinaryMan
unsheathe pizza cutter
teleports behind you

Heh, nothin' pizzonnel, kid. . .

New_Cliche
New_Cliche

Perfection

Stark_Naked
Stark_Naked

@BunnyJinx
ugh, that was not funny at all

Raving_Cute
Raving_Cute

Looks like you forgot to remove the plastic wrap before baking it

Lunatick
Lunatick

@Raving_Cute
its from scratch, fgt

Garbage Can Lid
Garbage Can Lid

I genuinely cant tell if the OP made this for bait or if its a wifey meal they're trying to pass off as their own as bait.
the fact there is a fork there makes me suspect its bait of the former variety.

Crazy_Nice
Crazy_Nice

@BinaryMan
If this pizza was cut "party" style I'd call this a 10/10 troll thread.

Booteefool
Booteefool

@Lunatick
Then why did you cover it in plastic

Lord_Tryzalot
Lord_Tryzalot

@Crazy_Nice
What is party style?
I'd rather see the whole pizza with a bite taken from it, no cutting required.

MPmaster
MPmaster

@Garbage Can Lid
i was hungry and rushed it a tad.
@Booteefool
what plastic?

King_Martha
King_Martha

@BunnyJinx
I laughed

Spamalot
Spamalot

@Crazy_Nice
the pizza was obviously cut in quarters. you may get the impression it's party style because of the shit distribution of toppings i guess

girlDog
girlDog

@Spamalot
the toppings are under the cheese.
Guess where im from

Evil_kitten
Evil_kitten

@Raving_Cute
@Booteefool
kraft single style fake cheese turns into plastic when broiled

viagrandad
viagrandad

@Evil_kitten
it was cheap mozzarella i bought at foodmax.
Never again

happy_sad
happy_sad

@girlDog
i don't even give a fuck. your pizza is bad and you should feel bad

SomethingNew
SomethingNew

@happy_sad
it tastes good

SniperWish
SniperWish

@BinaryMan
Don't sell yourself short, you know what you're doing when it comes to photography as well.

WebTool
WebTool

@BinaryMan
An hero please, sincerely Italy.

Lord_Tryzalot
Lord_Tryzalot

@New_Cliche
How can you have such good taste in a beer but eat such shit "pizza"

TreeEater
TreeEater

cheese not locked to the crust will slide right off when you pick it up
center loaded toppings not evenly distributed all the way to the edge of the sauce
over topping makes an under done crust
crust too big
It's nice and round though so good job on that. Pro tip: before going in the oven you should leave a crust about the width of a pencil. When it rises, it'll be about the perfect crust size.
You should use shredded mozz instead of sliced so it locks to the crust too.

w8t4u
w8t4u

brown sauce
Do I even want to know?

5mileys
5mileys

@SniperWish
you should see my troll theads on /p as well

Methnerd
Methnerd

@TreeEater
i already stated i was in a hurry and didnt let it rise on purpose.

TalkBomber
TalkBomber

@Lord_Tryzalot
its actually an awesome pizza.

Stupidasole
Stupidasole

@BinaryMan
looking gud m8

here's a snap of one from my local pizza joint.

looks amazing, right?

King_Martha
King_Martha

@Methnerd
not letting the dough rise affects my topping distribution
I'm just giving you professional advice m8, I do this for a living

Gigastrength
Gigastrength

@King_Martha
the toppings are distributed perfectly.
You cant even see the toppings. The cheese is on top anyway

VisualMaster
VisualMaster

@Gigastrength
See that big bulge under the cheese? That's centerloaded toppings. Can cause the crust in the middle to be undercooked and will slide right off if you pick up a slice

BinaryMan
BinaryMan

@VisualMaster
the toppings are even.
There is alot of sauce tho that caused the sliding.

JunkTop
JunkTop

@BinaryMan

looks like you forgot to take the plastic wrap off your cheese

Soft_member
Soft_member

@BinaryMan

More like the master baiter.

SniperGod
SniperGod

@New_Cliche
Too much sauce, too much cheese. Looks like an American take on Montreal pizza.

VisualMaster
VisualMaster

@BinaryMan
Did you put sauce and cheese on a plate and bake it?

RavySnake
RavySnake

@BinaryMan
master of pizza
you're pulling the strings!

Booteefool
Booteefool

@SniperGod
i guess you have never been to chicago

Evil_kitten
Evil_kitten

@Booteefool
I've been to Chicago many times. But after the first two experiences I learned to avoid the pizza, hot dogs and Italian beef sandwiches and stick to the South Asian and Middle Eastern food there.

cum2soon
cum2soon

@Stupidasole
Holy fuck, I'd hand that back and ask for a refund.

That's absolutely unacceptable unless you paid like $2 for it.

Poker_Star
Poker_Star

@Evil_kitten
its a shame you skip the best food there.
Dont forget the Gyros too

DeathDog
DeathDog

americans

GoogleCat
GoogleCat

@Poker_Star
its a shame you skip the best food there.
Ha ha, nope. I just learned not to trust the locals. It's really one of the few cities I've been to where you're better off ignoring the locals' opinions, because they're shit.

Supergrass
Supergrass

@GoogleCat
ok special snowflake

Dreamworx
Dreamworx

That pizza is a fucking crime against nature. It actually would have been better if you baked it upside down. That's how ill-conceived it is.

happy_sad
happy_sad

@GoogleCat
I agree. Chicagofags are assholes. They seem to take pride in directing you wrong. It happened to me both times I went to that shithole. One time by a train station uniformed peon who's only job was supposed to be helping people.

I think it stems from Chicagofags having an inferiority complex because they aren't quite east coast and they're most definitely not west coast.

hairygrape
hairygrape

@Supergrass
You got it wrong. Chicago has been in decline for so long since its 19th and early 20th Century glory that the locals don't realize all their local dishes that would have impressed someone who fell off the turnip truck 60 years ago haven't aged that well. I'm sure visitors from Iowa or Nebraska are properly impressed by greasy beef subs, insanely cheesy pizza and hot dogs dragged through the garden. But that shit hasn't been novel to the rest of the country for well over a generation.

Sharpcharm
Sharpcharm

@hairygrape
you have no class

haveahappyday
haveahappyday

@happy_sad
They seem to take pride in directing you wrong.
I don't think that's it. I think there's a perversity in iconic food of times past - times where eating out as a workingman or middle class family was such a big deal that anything the least bit novel seemed amazing. People romanticize this shit. That's why the guy from Philly who would never go to Gino's himself will tell you to go there and get a cheesesteak wit wiz. Someone in Cincinnati will tell you a Skyline 3-way is a must, even if they never eat that themselves. People in Michigan will direct you toward Coney (chili dog) joints even though they rarely if ever eat them. It's taking pride in local flavor, even if you're not so much of a fan of it. You even see it in NYC when people wax eloquent about halal carts or dirty water dogs with Greek onions or sauerkraut and mustard.

But Chicago is the worst place I've seen for this. It's a city full of good restaurants, but the locals relentlessly steer you toward mediocre at best "classic" Chicago stuff.

@Sharpcharm
I think it's the opposite. Chicago locals make a big show of being in touch with the town's blue collar roots, but the best food there seems to come from the more recent immigrants.

SniperWish
SniperWish

@haveahappyday
the most iconic food is from the depression. You dont get more blue collar than that.
Cheapest meat slow cooked and sliced thin. Hot dogs. Fresh cut fries. Pizza dough made from all purpose flour instead of bread flour.

viagrandad
viagrandad

@SniperWish
food is from the depression.
To be fair an Italian beef sandwich is pre-Depression. So is a Coney, a hoagie and a po'boy. But you're point is well taken. Depression Era food might have been delicious to people who were starving and had very limited access to ingredients. That's when a hot dog with three or four kinds of pickled condiments starts looking amazing. But it isn't. It's a relic from one of the worst times in American food history.

I get the iconic element - we survived eatring this and it was GOOD! The point is that by today's standards it isn't. Because we have all kinds of fresh food available to us that's better.

King_Martha
King_Martha

@viagrandad
the italian beef was invented during the depression. Because it was cheap and filling.
I grew up with all that. It will always be good to me

StrangeWizard
StrangeWizard

@Evil_kitten
never been to chicago. what's so bad about the hot dogs? surely you can't fuck up such a simple dish

Illusionz
Illusionz

@StrangeWizard
They're not bad. They're just the same as any other

Flameblow
Flameblow

@Illusionz
weak b8

LuckyDusty
LuckyDusty

@Flameblow
It's not bait guy. Take any dog from a hotdog stand anywhere in the country and put a pickle on it. Now you have a Chicago dog

FastChef
FastChef

@Stark_Naked
that's your opinion. i personally lol'd out loud.

New_Cliche
New_Cliche

Nigger pizza

Spazyfool
Spazyfool

@FastChef
kill yourself

Sir_Gallonhead
Sir_Gallonhead

@LuckyDusty
your trolling is subpar

BunnyJinx
BunnyJinx

@VisualMaster
no. You must be from the west coast

Lord_Tryzalot
Lord_Tryzalot

@New_Cliche
You would be drinking a golden drak

Shit ass beer to go with ur greasy mess

Spamalot
Spamalot

Judging by the amount of browning on the cheese due to residual lactose, I'd say you bought some shit-tier mozzarella.

5mileys
5mileys

I could shit a better pizza than that, OP. In fact I think I have, all over your mother's chest.

Seriously that looks repulsing. It's oozing from too much sauce (is that chunky sauce? Bad idea for a pizza), the dough looks uncooked, and the cheese looks like something I'd expect from Pizza Hut. But worse, there's no toppings! What a damn joke.

kizzmybutt
kizzmybutt

@Spamalot
i did. $2.75 a pound

Poker_Star
Poker_Star

@5mileys
its mushroom and salami.

Emberburn
Emberburn

@Lord_Tryzalot
why do you think i made the pizza?

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