If you were an alcohol, what would you be?

Stark_Naked
Stark_Naked

If you were an alcohol, what would you be?

viagrandad
viagrandad

@Stark_Naked
Drinkable.

Methnerd
Methnerd

poor
meant for ghettos
more than likely will be thrown against a wall after I've outlived my usefulness

WebTool
WebTool

@Stark_Naked
Smirnoff.

VisualMaster
VisualMaster

@Stark_Naked
everything that doesn't taste like piss, gets me drunk fast, and doesn't burn my throat

DeathDog
DeathDog

@VisualMaster

You're looking for Eagle Rare bourbon, then

ZeroReborn
ZeroReborn

A stout, obviously.

eGremlin
eGremlin

Not exceptional, but doing okay for what it is

Nude_Bikergirl
Nude_Bikergirl

@Stark_Naked
bitter, sophisticated, plays well with gin

Techpill
Techpill

This would be me.

SniperWish
SniperWish

travis bickle

CouchChiller
CouchChiller

@SniperWish
You talkin to me?

PurpleCharger
PurpleCharger

@Stark_Naked
I would be Ricky Ricardo

New_Cliche
New_Cliche

The Driver.

Spazyfool
Spazyfool

@CouchChiller
yes its the police man your son has been killed by a hit and run driver, the driver was an alcohol

Need_TLC
Need_TLC

No question

Booteefool
Booteefool

Cultured

Lord_Tryzalot
Lord_Tryzalot

@Need_TLC

You think highly of yourself and are often in the company of lightweight beer drinkers, yes?

Soft_member
Soft_member

@Booteefool

7.5% ABV
comes in a 2-liter bottle
electric blue coloring

...how does it taste, though?

cum2soon
cum2soon

@Soft_member
tastes like killing yourself by drinking anti-freeze over a period of 10 hours

RumChicken
RumChicken

@Soft_member
That isn't a 2l bottle bitchboy its THREE LITRES

Tastes like chemically treated apple waste product because that is what it is

TechHater
TechHater

@New_Cliche
@Spazyfool
Top lel

JunkTop
JunkTop

gin

BunnyJinx
BunnyJinx

@RumChicken

chemically treated apple waste product

Sign me up, fampai

whereismyname
whereismyname

The fake kind

Evil_kitten
Evil_kitten

Honey Southern Comfort. Enjoyable in small doses, but gives you a headache if you drink me too long.

haveahappyday
haveahappyday

Bitter and black. That's me

PackManBrainlure
PackManBrainlure

@ZeroReborn

Fucking nigger.

RavySnake
RavySnake

@PackManBrainlure
Hey, tone down with the racism, whitey

BlogWobbles
BlogWobbles

@PackManBrainlure
gb2/pol/

New_Cliche
New_Cliche

@PackManBrainlure
WE

Illusionz
Illusionz

Any of these
Good quality, very palatable, and Texas born and bred
Probably blueberry specifically since thats where Im based on the now

farquit
farquit

@New_Cliche
WUZ

likme
likme

@farquit
STOUTS N' SHIEET

Flameblow
Flameblow

@BlogWobbles
gb2plebbit
Nigger is a staple of the Veeky Forums vernacular and always has been

TurtleCat
TurtleCat

@Flameblow

yeah but the mod on here enjoys banning people who say it

pretty not good

TalkBomber
TalkBomber

@Stark_Naked
sophisticated
androgenous
bite-sized

Yup, that's me alright.

WebTool
WebTool

@Flameblow
Yea but if you're just being a faggot and calling people nigger for no reason that's an easily bannable offense for posting garbage outside of /b/

TechHater
TechHater

@WebTool
Shut up nigger

AwesomeTucker
AwesomeTucker

@TalkBomber
Post pics

BunnyJinx
BunnyJinx

Polarizing; people either love me or hate me

Illusionz
Illusionz

@BunnyJinx
I hate you.

Spazyfool
Spazyfool

You will always seek me out when your life is shitty
When things get good, you won't so much as look at me, maybe even feel disgust thinking about me
But when it all goes to shit you'll come crawling right back

Spamalot
Spamalot

@TalkBomber

implying martinis are androgynous

If your drink comes with a toy, it's for a child. If it comes with a snack, it's for a woman.

Soft_member
Soft_member

@TechHater
Enjoy your 3 day vacation, fampai.

viagrandad
viagrandad

@Stark_Naked
rusty nail. disgustingly delicious

5mileys
5mileys

@Spamalot
And you're acting like both. Would you like a martini?

Inmate
Inmate

@5mileys

Yes, actually~

Playboyize
Playboyize

Heineken. European extraction, but common, low-quality, cheap and dispensable. No potency or lasting value whatsoever.

Gigastrength
Gigastrength

I got 60 Minute IPA the other night and couldn't get enough. Six pack was gone before I knew it.

Got Sierra Nevada Pale Ale last night and could barely get through 3 and got heart burn. So obviously I enjoyed one a lot more than the other but if you asked me to explain the differences between them I really couldn't tell you. Its strange. I need to start comparing side by side.

Either way, 60 minute IPA is damn good. SNPA is decent. Maybe I'll like their torpedo IPA more.

Methshot
Methshot

@Spamalot
*tips fedora, raises pint of local craft beer in appreciation, puffs vape cloud in your direction*

Carnalpleasure
Carnalpleasure

@Illusionz
flavored vodka
absolutely disgusting

VisualMaster
VisualMaster

@cum2soon
Alcohol (ethanol) is actually the antidote for antifreeze poisoning.

5mileys
5mileys

@Soft_member
Mod is a faggot
You're still a nigger

Deadlyinx
Deadlyinx

@haveahappyday
guiness
bitter

shiggy diggy doo

Sharpcharm
Sharpcharm

@Techpill

Was this ever confirmed to not be straight gasoline? I mean, I'm all for the concept of conflict whiskey, but this screams hoax to me.

Harmless_Venom
Harmless_Venom

tfw 20
tfw american
tfw can't buy alcohol for another 3 months

Sure I can have my friends get it for me, but I've never been able to peruse a liquor store.
Can any of you oldfags tell me what the experience is like?

w8t4u
w8t4u

@BunnyJinx
no one hates laphoriag yu dumb shit

idontknow
idontknow

@Harmless_Venom
find cheapest alcohol
drink, feel good
don't remember anything
appears you fell and broke a bone last night
lost your lighter
lost your smokes
lost your cell phone
lost your weed
find all lost objects after 8 grueling hours
wonder where your memory went
buy more alcohol
drink it

I have to limit it to 3-4 episodes a year. Giant arm scar, two broken knees, nearly broken neck, face hit hard, forehead hit hard, half ounce lost, four packs of cigarettes lost, cell phone lost, zippo lost 3x, cell phone moisturized, cell phone dropped 200 times, six chargers broken and sick to my stomach for every minute of it. This was 60 days. I drank only 1.5 gallons of vodka.

How fucking badly do you want to drink? Stick with beer or you will fall on your face

Harmless_Venom
Harmless_Venom

Rakija

From the Balkans
Normally reserved, but can get insane at parties
Will make you laugh until you piss yourself

viagrandad
viagrandad

@idontknow
kek, because it's very, very real.

haveahappyday
haveahappyday

blunt to the point of being an asshole
toxic in high concentrations
Would rather just kill myself, T.B.H.

iluvmen
iluvmen

@5mileys
Kek

idontknow
idontknow

@Booteefool
Never seen this before, holy hell

lostmypassword
lostmypassword

@idontknow

lose duffel bag with sports equipment, phone, keys to apartment, wallet
slept in the stairwell and had to ask a guy to let me make a call to my ex who had another set of keys, also called the bank to block my card
had bruises everywhere and all I remember is that I took some pills with some chick
another time
had was at some girls place
woke up her sleeping baby allegedly
she got pissed and gave me a blakck eye
took a cab to a friends place and had a bbq next day
didn't sleep
wouldn't have found out about eye if no one had told me
drink until 6PM
wake up at ER at midnight
cuffed to the bed with my clothes off and a huge male nurse is about to stick a catheter in my urethra
immediately tell them I'm ok and can pee myself
find out later I wasn't breathing on my own
I still think it's because it's very difficult to wake me when I'm passed out
another time
decide to go to a bar just to grab some beers and go home, it was 1 AM
one thing leads to another and I talk to bartender for hours
smash the bar window and wake up at home with all my clothes on, door wide open and hand bleeding

This is just some of the shit I have gathered and found out later, I have done some ridiculous shit while drunk and woken up in the most surreal situations.
I'm actually a normal person when I'm sober but alcohol makes me crazy. Definitely going to try to cut back in 2017 and pace myself, I'm still young but I don't want to keep experiencing this crazy shit because I have more than enough.

Don't drink kids.

Techpill
Techpill

@lostmypassword

Forgot the mention the best moment in ER was that they hold you until the morning and they brought in a bunch of med students to show the patients. It was pretty funny.

Emberburn
Emberburn

@lostmypassword
I once ate a weed brownie.
Then I got hungry and went to a diner. I accused them of serving me plastic food, then I threw several jam packets at their front window and ran into the night.
I'll never use weed again

5mileys
5mileys

@lostmypassword
I act like a normal person when I'm drunk but I can't buy above 12% in my town so I overestimate and fall into shit when I have vodka or shine.
I don't get violent or bother other humans because autism but I do run around the neighborhood yelling and talking to myself when I lose shit. Anyone will do this if they lose their cell phone, cigarettes, weed and lighter all at once, I just do it when I drink 40%.

Bidwell
Bidwell

@5mileys

this post is 100% accurate

hairygrape
hairygrape

@Booteefool
Man I wish I lived in Bongland

Methnerd
Methnerd

@Inmate
S-sasuga anon-san

Burnblaze
Burnblaze

@5mileys
You still got b&, hahahah. Get bent kid.

Emberfire
Emberfire

@5mileys
i have image editing software you idiot, i can easily uncover your ip and hack you

SniperGod
SniperGod

@Stark_Naked
I'd be a Pinot Noir

intelligent
nihilistic
wicked sense of humor

WebTool
WebTool

@5mileys
He may be a nigger, and the mod may be a faggot, but goddamn son that makes you both. You're a niggerfaggot.

Supergrass
Supergrass

@Stark_Naked
undiluted
truthful, taste like shit at first but fun to have around once you get past the first few gulps and get used to me
your parents would probably be embarrassed if they knew you had me around
if you're compulsively attracted to me or people like me you probably need help, but I will love you all the same despite the judgments of others

TalkBomber
TalkBomber

Cheap
Earthy
Contentious
Smoother than you'd expect, but far from smooth

ZeroReborn
ZeroReborn

My blood content is usually around .5% vodka, and however much I shower and brush my teeth, I still sweat straight up vodka... So I'm going to say that I'm vodka.

tfw sterile and no need to use protection

Garbage Can Lid
Garbage Can Lid

Deadly.

Crazy_Nice
Crazy_Nice

@Supergrass
Edgy. But I like it

5mileys
5mileys

@Garbage Can Lid
how can a liquid explode

PackManBrainlure
PackManBrainlure

Aged red wine, unsure of spoilage or great taste.

viagrandad
viagrandad

because I'm not a degenerate who drinks alcohol

Sharpcharm
Sharpcharm

Heavy but relatively pleasant and sweet, also kinda fruity

TalkBomber
TalkBomber

@Stark_Naked

Original, not fresh

RumChicken
RumChicken

a middle shelf whiskey like 4 roses.

CodeBuns
CodeBuns

Some cheap grocery store Moscato because I'm a failure of a woman

New_Cliche
New_Cliche

@WebTool
Dumb nigger.

Ignoramus
Ignoramus

@Stark_Naked
Pour out 1 cup and add another cup of ever clear.

GoogleCat
GoogleCat

@TurtleCat

This man has great taste

Illusionz
Illusionz

@viagrandad
Epic xDDDD

takes2long
takes2long

.5% abv

askme
askme

@Harmless_Venom
I have some horrible memories of vomiting a lot in Prague because of this stuff. Literal bathtub brandy.

girlDog
girlDog

Toilet hooch

Emberburn
Emberburn

Let's face it, you'd all be that dusty bottle of frangelico sitting there forever because no one likes frangelico and it will never get drunk.

AwesomeTucker
AwesomeTucker

the first bit you throw away because it makes you go blind

SniperGod
SniperGod

@Stark_Naked
Frosty Jacks.

Spazyfool
Spazyfool

@Deadlyinx
That's extra stout, fuckwit

MPmaster
MPmaster

@idontknow
You sound like a massive pussy

likme
likme

Mirrors my soul.

Firespawn
Firespawn

Hard grainy vodka bc i want to kill myself as fast as possible

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