If you were an alcohol, what would you be?

If you were an alcohol, what would you be?

Drinkable.

>poor
>meant for ghettos
>more than likely will be thrown against a wall after I've outlived my usefulness

...

Smirnoff.

everything that doesn't taste like piss, gets me drunk fast, and doesn't burn my throat

You're looking for Eagle Rare bourbon, then

A stout, obviously.

Not exceptional, but doing okay for what it is

bitter, sophisticated, plays well with gin

This would be me.

travis bickle

You talkin to me?

I would be Ricky Ricardo

The Driver.

yes its the police man your son has been killed by a hit and run driver, the driver was an alcohol

No question

Cultured

You think highly of yourself and are often in the company of lightweight beer drinkers, yes?

>7.5% ABV
>comes in a 2-liter bottle
>electric blue coloring

...how does it taste, though?

tastes like killing yourself by drinking anti-freeze over a period of 10 hours

That isn't a 2l bottle bitchboy its THREE LITRES

Tastes like chemically treated apple waste product because that is what it is

Top lel

gin

>chemically treated apple waste product

Sign me up, fampai

The fake kind

Honey Southern Comfort. Enjoyable in small doses, but gives you a headache if you drink me too long.

Bitter and black. That's me

Fucking nigger.

Hey, tone down with the racism, whitey

gb2/pol/

WE

Any of these
Good quality, very palatable, and Texas born and bred
Probably blueberry specifically since thats where Im based on the now

WUZ

STOUTS N' SHIEET

gb2plebbit
Nigger is a staple of the Veeky Forums vernacular and always has been

yeah but the mod on here enjoys banning people who say it

pretty not good

> sophisticated
> androgenous
> bite-sized

Yup, that's me alright.

Yea but if you're just being a faggot and calling people nigger for no reason that's an easily bannable offense for posting garbage outside of /b/

Shut up nigger

Post pics

Polarizing; people either love me or hate me

I hate you.

>You will always seek me out when your life is shitty
>When things get good, you won't so much as look at me, maybe even feel disgust thinking about me
>But when it all goes to shit you'll come crawling right back

>implying martinis are androgynous

If your drink comes with a toy, it's for a child. If it comes with a snack, it's for a woman.

Enjoy your 3 day vacation, fampai.

rusty nail. disgustingly delicious

And you're acting like both. Would you like a martini?

Yes, actually~

Heineken. European extraction, but common, low-quality, cheap and dispensable. No potency or lasting value whatsoever.

I got 60 Minute IPA the other night and couldn't get enough. Six pack was gone before I knew it.

Got Sierra Nevada Pale Ale last night and could barely get through 3 and got heart burn. So obviously I enjoyed one a lot more than the other but if you asked me to explain the differences between them I really couldn't tell you. Its strange. I need to start comparing side by side.

Either way, 60 minute IPA is damn good. SNPA is decent. Maybe I'll like their torpedo IPA more.

*tips fedora, raises pint of local craft beer in appreciation, puffs vape cloud in your direction*

>flavored vodka
absolutely disgusting

...

Alcohol (ethanol) is actually the antidote for antifreeze poisoning.

Mod is a faggot
You're still a nigger

>guiness
>bitter

shiggy diggy doo

Was this ever confirmed to not be straight gasoline? I mean, I'm all for the concept of conflict whiskey, but this screams hoax to me.

>tfw 20
>tfw american
>tfw can't buy alcohol for another 3 months

Sure I can have my friends get it for me, but I've never been able to peruse a liquor store.
Can any of you oldfags tell me what the experience is like?

no one hates laphoriag yu dumb shit

>find cheapest alcohol
>drink, feel good
>don't remember anything
>appears you fell and broke a bone last night
>lost your lighter
>lost your smokes
>lost your cell phone
>lost your weed
>find all lost objects after 8 grueling hours
>wonder where your memory went
>buy more alcohol
>drink it

I have to limit it to 3-4 episodes a year. Giant arm scar, two broken knees, nearly broken neck, face hit hard, forehead hit hard, half ounce lost, four packs of cigarettes lost, cell phone lost, zippo lost 3x, cell phone moisturized, cell phone dropped 200 times, six chargers broken and sick to my stomach for every minute of it. This was 60 days. I drank only 1.5 gallons of vodka.

How fucking badly do you want to drink? Stick with beer or you will fall on your face

...

Rakija

>From the Balkans
>Normally reserved, but can get insane at parties
>Will make you laugh until you piss yourself

kek, because it's very, very real.

>blunt to the point of being an asshole
>toxic in high concentrations
Would rather just kill myself, T.B.H.

Kek

Never seen this before, holy hell

>lose duffel bag with sports equipment, phone, keys to apartment, wallet
>slept in the stairwell and had to ask a guy to let me make a call to my ex who had another set of keys, also called the bank to block my card
>had bruises everywhere and all I remember is that I took some pills with some chick
>another time
>had was at some girls place
>woke up her sleeping baby allegedly
>she got pissed and gave me a blakck eye
>took a cab to a friends place and had a bbq next day
>didn't sleep
>wouldn't have found out about eye if no one had told me
>drink until 6PM
>wake up at ER at midnight
>cuffed to the bed with my clothes off and a huge male nurse is about to stick a catheter in my urethra
>immediately tell them I'm ok and can pee myself
>find out later I wasn't breathing on my own
>I still think it's because it's very difficult to wake me when I'm passed out
>another time
>decide to go to a bar just to grab some beers and go home, it was 1 AM
>one thing leads to another and I talk to bartender for hours
>smash the bar window and wake up at home with all my clothes on, door wide open and hand bleeding


This is just some of the shit I have gathered and found out later, I have done some ridiculous shit while drunk and woken up in the most surreal situations.
I'm actually a normal person when I'm sober but alcohol makes me crazy. Definitely going to try to cut back in 2017 and pace myself, I'm still young but I don't want to keep experiencing this crazy shit because I have more than enough.

Don't drink kids.

Forgot the mention the best moment in ER was that they hold you until the morning and they brought in a bunch of med students to show the patients. It was pretty funny.

I once ate a weed brownie.
Then I got hungry and went to a diner. I accused them of serving me plastic food, then I threw several jam packets at their front window and ran into the night.
I'll never use weed again

I act like a normal person when I'm drunk but I can't buy above 12% in my town so I overestimate and fall into shit when I have vodka or shine.
I don't get violent or bother other humans because autism but I do run around the neighborhood yelling and talking to myself when I lose shit. Anyone will do this if they lose their cell phone, cigarettes, weed and lighter all at once, I just do it when I drink 40%.

this post is 100% accurate

Man I wish I lived in Bongland

S-sasuga user-san

You still got b&, hahahah. Get bent kid.

i have image editing software you idiot, i can easily uncover your ip and hack you

I'd be a Pinot Noir

>intelligent
>nihilistic
>wicked sense of humor

He may be a nigger, and the mod may be a faggot, but goddamn son that makes you both. You're a niggerfaggot.

>undiluted
>truthful, taste like shit at first but fun to have around once you get past the first few gulps and get used to me
>your parents would probably be embarrassed if they knew you had me around
>if you're compulsively attracted to me or people like me you probably need help, but I will love you all the same despite the judgments of others

>Cheap
>Earthy
>Contentious
>Smoother than you'd expect, but far from smooth

My blood content is usually around .5% vodka, and however much I shower and brush my teeth, I still sweat straight up vodka... So I'm going to say that I'm vodka.

>tfw sterile and no need to use protection

Deadly.

Edgy. But I like it

how can a liquid explode

Aged red wine, unsure of spoilage or great taste.

because I'm not a degenerate who drinks alcohol

Heavy but relatively pleasant and sweet, also kinda fruity

Original, not fresh

a middle shelf whiskey like 4 roses.

Some cheap grocery store Moscato because I'm a failure of a woman

Dumb nigger.

Pour out 1 cup and add another cup of ever clear.

This man has great taste

Epic xDDDD

...

>.5% abv

I have some horrible memories of vomiting a lot in Prague because of this stuff. Literal bathtub brandy.

Toilet hooch

Let's face it, you'd all be that dusty bottle of frangelico sitting there forever because no one likes frangelico and it will never get drunk.

the first bit you throw away because it makes you go blind