What do you guys read in the bathroom?

The closest bottle of shampoo.

Can anyone explain to me why people take so long to shit? What's the mechanics behind this delay?

They're full of shit.

underrated

I have the far side comics and Frank O Haras lunch poems. Also that book by lena dunham. I liked 'girls' and thought her writing would be decent, i was very wrong.

>I'll need to shit in 20 minutes
>Better go now
How hard is it to wait until you need to shit?

I think less of people who hang out around the toilet, in the smell of their own shit.

>I liked 'girls'

>I liked 'girls
>thought her writing would be decent

I sit down
I look down
See Dick
See writing on Dick
Moby Dick
I read Moby Dick
Font fucking small
Eyes blurry
Knees weak
Suck myself off
Stand up
Wipe
Leave
Repeat

I unironically liked and kept up with 2-3 seasons of "girls" before having a flashing realization that the show was shit, I hated the characters and the actors playing them, and I finally accepted that the only attractive girl (marney) would never get naked on camera.

It's an interesting look at what absolute fucking trainwrecks young single women are without a primary aspiration of getting married and having kids. Life with no sane organizing principle.

After a while, though, it's like just watching patients in an insane asylum. Once you get a sense of the patterns, it's not interesting, it's just unpleasant.

Edith Hamilton's Mythology. Read maybe an average of a page or two per shit.

Just hit page 300 an hour ago.

Various health problems make it take a long time.

Everybody's unhealthy these days. Unnatural diets, not enough exercise, artificial light fucking with their sleep cycle, overstimulation and excessive stress, etc.

Yeah I think that's a fair way of looking at it. I was definitely curious for a while but eventually I think I got exasperated and disinterested with the largely self-invented problems which seemed almost farcical from my perspective of a kind of weird single guy.

This and the Penguin Civic Classics (Lincoln Speeches, Supreme Court Decisions, etc) line are good reads for the toilet.

This has been in my bathroom for over ten years.

I've imbibed it to the point where I can probably strangle a wild rabbit with my toes in the dark.

Ultimate loo book.

whatevers in my phones web browser

how long are you in the bathroom that you're reading a book. i mean taking a shit should be seconds, mere seconds. if not you could have serious health problems.

Ditto mate.

Reading in the bathroom is weird.

a stack of old private eyes

>COCAMIDOPROPYL BETAINE
>TETRASODIUM GLUTAMATE

When I just need something lighter:
>SORBITOL
>UREA

Can't go wrong with the classics
>SODIUM LAURETH SULFATE
>SODIUM CHLORIDE

Holy Christ, they've gone metha!
>METHACRYLATE COPOLYMER

I hear minimalism is back in vogue
>AQUA

>not Sunday Sport

i don't know where to buy that

This. I defecate in public as well while I'm defecating in private.

Bad diet
I switched to black bread and started eating more fruits and veggies and my poops are amazingly smooth.

>2016
>using the bathroom

Donald Duck comics

Sometimes I wipe until my asshole is bleeding and it's still not clean. But I usually only take 3 minutes to shit because of my secret technique that usually only requires minimal wiping.

>secret technique

Yeah i cant do that because my left leg has nerve damage and i could never balance like that. I just spread my ass cheeks really far apart and never pinch off shit. Ever.

I appreciate this user.

This shatters the toilet. This gouges the legs open and you bleed out almost instantly. Google it

squattypotty.com/
Are you having fun winning arguments you have inside of your head Google master?

30-60$ for a little stool :/

whatever book I am currently reading

t. phone reader

nigga ive been squatting since i was three years old unless you're some kind of fat fuck the toilet's fine

>those fucked up toothbrushers hanging in open air, catching them good ole germs as you accidentaly hit them with your hands as you use that gel
>right beside the brushers, a hair comb and a gillete

disgusting

Why? It's just going to be there again later.

kek

I shit fast, but I wait like 10 minutes to avoid any shitlings that may get stuck

>India detected

>2016
>afraid of germs

You didn't Google it did you

is this a beckett play

>dial

This is some next level memes

I have random unintelligent books in each bathroom. My favorite right now is a book of serial killer biographies. Or I browse Veeky Forums

Hello friend! It seems you have left your trip and name on! We here at Veeky Forums like to provide a friendly, anonymous, atmosphere. For this reason, we discourage the use of a name or trip, unless, of course, you are using them for identification purposes in one specific thread that requires identification.

Please remember to always drop your trip and name whenever you leave such threads, and post in other threads. Thank you, and have a nice day!

...

Get your toilet book out of here before I jump over the counter and punch you in the brain!

add poop to pic related

Nothing.
It takes me a grand total of 20-40 seconds to shit.

Y'all need to see a doctor.

Lolita.

You idiots need to eat more fiber. Maybe Infinite Jest is good for something after all.

i listen to podcasts and audiobooks so i have both hands free to massage the logs out of my trembling belly

It is fun to sit nude on toilet with shit zlowly seeping out and enjoy the sensation of anus stretched while reading

kek