How do I have a mental breakdown

Become addicted to heroin

They are not fun, why do you want to get one? I've experienced almost psychotic depressive "episodes" and I can tell you they are not fun.
But if you really want to, probably LSD + cocaine would do the job, maybe just LSD if you already have some sort of mental/existencial issue. Or just ignore all your responsibilities for like, a year and your life will eventually go to shit, your brain will realize you are a failure and it will try to get you out of the gene-poll, by making you want to kill yourself, this is not the same that "thinking" about killing yourself, you will start to feel an urge to do it. If you dont kill yourself and keep living with intense pain and anxiety and guilt, the stress will destroy your brain and you will develop bipolar or schizophrenia or something like that. Have fun.

remember that you're useless and you're going to die miserable and alone.

Do what my brother did. Lose your job, don't clean your apartment, microdose magic mushrooms everyday for four months, smoke an ounce of weed daily and eat shitty foods.

Tripping alone isnt bad if you already have some sort of experience, going around in public at most will freak him out, but something really weird should happen to really break him.

I've been a friendless NEET for over a year (a cumulative of over 2 years during my adult life) and though my life and mental state has gone to shit I have never once seriously felt the urge to kill myself.My mind has become numb and cozy.

Also I read that LSD could actually help people in positions such as mine; the potential change in perspective that it can induce has helped severely depressed people turn their lives around.

Watch a horse get beaten in the street.

with a wicked rift and your favourite boy friend :DDDDD

>I'm not lazy I'm depressed
nyce meem

This desu.

Have an ex-girlfriend who did K weekly for a while and she's unrecoverable.

You too

LSD and cocaine is just a good time.

Rimbaud-tier

>tfw when paranoid schizophrenic

My father had the same thing. I have a complete breakdown once or twice a week and am unable to see anybody. The only thing that calms me down is studying math (I'm probably autistic). Every relationship I've had falls apart and I can barely have sex. Whenever I'm around other people I feel like they're judging me and so I judge every single person I see as a reflex.

It's a shame because otherwise I'm pretty attractive and intelligent enough. I think I'd make a pretty good normie if I didn't have it.

How far along is schizophrenic medicine, anyway?
I understand that it's a certain hit and miss with whether or not the meds will help and to what degree. Am I correct, insane user?

Laziness and depression are not mutually exclusive.

Said no one whos ever done lsd and coke together. The combo is dysphorically stimulating. Made me shake uncontrollably and almost throw up

I'm not sure. I was diagnosed with a lot of different disorders as a kid and my parents always had me on different medicines growing up. When I turned like 16 I stopped taking any medicine and have refused to for the 6 years since. I'd rather be insane and my own person.

What a bunch of nonsense, this might imply for some normies.

My ex always used to have mental breakdowns where she'd start shaking and crying whenever I didn't feel like fucking her. Try being an ex-alcoholic and partying slut with low self-esteem, OP.

Does the meds numb you out?
You said you had breakdowns. Does this mean that you are lucid most of the time?

And I'm sorry if my questioning seems strange. Just really interested in people with mental illnesses

Yes, they numb you out and make you not care about life at all. When I was on them in high school I had no ambition, got fat, and did really poorly in school (whereas I do exceedingly well now, despite my episodes).

I'm productive and lucid most of the week. I have a job, am sociable and in uni, I just have really disturbing thoughts about other people and myself that I don't tell anybody. I never hang out with anybody despite always having people wanting to and feeling incredibly lonely all the time. I'm unable to trust anybody

What medications were you on? And are you really sure you mean schizophrenia and not some personality disorder or mood disorders?

Do the people around you know that you suffer from this, or do you keep it secret as best you can?

Yeah, LSD can help if you are not THAT depressed yet, it can help you get out of the spiral and thought pattern that could lead towards major depression. But is also playing with fire, a bad set and setting can really fuck you up, be careful fellow NEET, and get a fucking job.

They thought I had autism and bipolar disorder, but my symptoms changed a lot once I hit puberty. I don't remember the meds since it's been several years, but my father was a diagnosed schizo and I have all of the symptoms. I've never been to a doctor of my own volition and I refuse to be diagnosed since they can't offer help beyond medication which I would refuse to take.

No, nobody knows. I read a lot of philosophy and introspect for hours a day trying to figure out what's wrong and never come to a satisfactory conclusion. Are you studying psychology or anything, user? What do you think I should do? It's pretty crippling as far as happiness goes

Maybe for you

Do some sort of drug heavily for about a year. Then try to stop.

Yeah, but maybe some people can handle it, the real hell ride would be nBOME + cocaine, or meth, imo.

Having to get on drugs is the real normie path to have a breakdown.

If you want one for the tortured artist cred, you can just pretend here on Veeky Forums.

>Are you studying psychology or anything, user?
No, it's just a subject of interest to me. I definitely suffer from some mental issues myself, as well as epilepsy (which has definitely worsened my mental state), but I don't think it's anywhere near what you have or do experience

>What do you think I should do? It's pretty crippling as far as happiness goes
I don't know, user. Wish I could help you, though.
At least you're self aware. You know you have an affliction and you try your best to work around it, and that is very, very commendable. You should probably have someone close to you that knows of your illness, who will try to understand you and not be judgmental when you suffer I don't know if you have any close friends who could be this. try to find some kinship, somewhere.

Perhaps you should also try to stay out of your head. you said you feel best when you do maths. I suspect this has something to do with your mind being occupied, and thus having no time to be neurotic about itself.

You could try mindful mediation. It has helped me a great deal, and allowed me to see myself more clearly. Be advised, however, that it can cause further disassociation, which can either end as a good or bad thing, depending on where your mind takes it.

Otherwise, I don't really know, user. Wish I could help you more decisively.

Also, did the partners in your relationship know that you were mentally ill?

Thanks for the advice, user. I'm sorry about your illness, as well.

>Also, did the partners in your relationship know that you were mentally ill?
No, I manage to hide it pretty well and they're usually understanding when I don't want to see anybody. but it causes a lot of problems with sex because I can't stay out of my head and lose my hard like half the time I have sex, which they always take personally.

For me it came from the death of someone I loves dearly. All the pent up shit went nuclear, broke down to the base elements of myself. Food was hard to swallow, couldn't think properly and felt fogged. This went on for a few months, but I gradually rebuilt myself and found solidarity and a newfound outlook. And while I wouldnt change what happened, I would say with honesty that it's not what you want. Fix yourself BEFORE shit goes south, don't fall into despair and lose yourself user, because you'll never be quite the same even if you're better off now like I am

Those relationships might have been more workable if they had known. As you said yourself, they take it personally. If they had been aware, they might have been more forgiving. I can't know if that would be viable in the long term.

This advice might seem a bit banal to you, but perhaps you should consider seeking some sort of professional help. Therapy, and the like.
You seem like an extraordinary individual, user. You have relationships, you do well in uni, you're good at maths and all while dealing (and hiding) your mental problems. So if nothing else, know that you're fascinating, and in some sense, courageous

Thanks a lot for your help, user. It is nice to talk with somebody about it. Good luck with your struggles, my friend.

You too