Who would win in a fight between a grown man and a chimp?

King_Martha
King_Martha

Who would win in a fight between a grown man and a chimp?

All urls found in this thread:
https://youtu.be/cyqwJsGJSIY?t=14s
https://www.smithsonianmag.com/smart-news/why-are-chimpanzees-stronger-than-humans-1379994/
viagrandad
viagrandad

@King_Martha
Unarmed? Chimp.
Literally every time it has happened in history.

5mileys
5mileys

Humans absolutely can not compete with a chimp unless they have a weapon.

However, even something as crude as a long stick or a big rock could be enough for a human to win.

kizzmybutt
kizzmybutt

@viagrandad
@5mileys
Low test fags detected

hairygrape
hairygrape

i was thinking what if you didnt have to even fight the chimp but instead could feed it bananas and maybe become friends

Emberburn
Emberburn

@King_Martha
What size chimp?

The chimp being stronger than a man thing isn't true, it was based on flawed studies. They are stronger than a man pound for pound, due to being all fast-twitch fibers. But they don't weigh as much as humans, so they typically are about the same strength. A human should have more endurance, however.

The real problems are (a) their teeth and jaws (b) visciousness (c) durability. You would probably need a man to be substantially larger than the chimp, and also a trained fighter in order for him to have a good chance.

TalkBomber
TalkBomber

@hairygrape
Chimp still wins

RavySnake
RavySnake

@Emberburn
Those jaws are much stronger than ours

TurtleCat
TurtleCat

@Emberburn

What fighting style? Bjj i imagine would be the only possible route, but I doubt that would be very viable vs teeth

StonedTime
StonedTime

@hairygrape
the fuel makes little explosions that pulls all of space back behind the rocket

StrangeWizard
StrangeWizard

@RavySnake
No doubt, that's the worst part. You don't want those anywhere near your face

Nojokur
Nojokur

@TurtleCat
Unless we're talking some dude the size of Brock Lesnar versus a regular sized chimp, the only way this works for the human is if they manage to choke the chimp to death, or get a weapon to bludgeon it with

Maybe a head kick would knock one out, I kind of doubt anyone's going to KO one of these things with their hands though.

So yeah, BJJ, wrestling and a high pain tolerance

Nude_Bikergirl
Nude_Bikergirl

@King_Martha
Jamie pull that up

seriously though, kind of think we should exterminate these fuckers. they're like all the bad qualities of humanity x2 without the ability to make art or discover science and mathematics.

plus they creep me the fuck out. fuck em

Crazy_Nice
Crazy_Nice

also remember chimps are wild fucking animals, they don't feel pain the way we do

Bidwell
Bidwell

My guess would be humans because humans would know to gouge eyes.

A blind chimp would be pretty useless regardless of how many points it has put in strength.

iluvmen
iluvmen

Couple 9mm rounds to the body will stop a chimp real fucking quick.

Techpill
Techpill

@TalkBomber
bananas were my dick, chimp loses

Methshot
Methshot

Chimp if unarmed.
If tools are allowed, human. Especially if the person is trained.

SniperWish
SniperWish

@King_Martha
a grown chimp

Stupidasole
Stupidasole

@iluvmen
You can take a 9mm if you want. I saw that lady who had her face eaten off by a chimp, I'll be taking a 45 ACP with hollow points thankyouverymuch

Firespawn
Firespawn

@Stupidasole
dude you don't have to make hamburger of the chimps torso.

Evil_kitten
Evil_kitten

@King_Martha

a man fighting a little monkey for reference
https://youtu.be/cyqwJsGJSIY?t=14s

idontknow
idontknow

@5mileys
No chimps have higher pain tolerance than humans,you need a spear to deal with a chimp. Infact give up on trying to kill it with blunt objects because its bones are fucking hard. Now if Bobo yucks the spear out your hand run.

StonedTime
StonedTime

@Emberburn
b and c would be the main problems. It's a pure animal, it doesn't limit or weaken itself with unanimalistic lifestyle and self-consciousness. It won't bitch out and it'll shrug off deathly pain.

GoogleCat
GoogleCat

@King_Martha

An average human doesn't stand a chance. They're smart enough to go for weak points. Your eyes would be gouged out and you face would be ripped up. or your dick and balls would get torn off. Even if you had a spear it'd probably just rip it out of your hands.

Flameblow
Flameblow

@GoogleCat
If I have a spear that chimp is going down

Pokey pokey fur fag

BunnyJinx
BunnyJinx

human can pick up the phone and call an airstrike, chimp goes extinct

Fried_Sushi
Fried_Sushi

It would be like boxing a midget. You could dance circles around a chimpanzee while beating its face in. Little guy would probably run away.

farquit
farquit

@King_Martha
If a human weren't scared then it might be a closer match, still in the favour of the chimp but closer. The issue is that chimps are born and raised tearing each other apart, so they go all in without a doubt.

SomethingNew
SomethingNew

@Evil_kitten
a man
posts a pajeet

iluvmen
iluvmen

@GoogleCat
t. cuck

SniperWish
SniperWish

@King_Martha
@Emberburn
Chimps go straight for your balls in a fight. In order to beat the chimp in a fight, you must become the chimp. Otherwise, it will shred you.

WebTool
WebTool

@iluvmen
@Stupidasole
Uhm, no sweetie.

LuckyDusty
LuckyDusty

@Fried_Sushi
You could dance circles around a chimpanzee while beating its face in.
Until it catches your fist in its teeth. A chimp will fucking ruin your day, man. Even if you could win, there's no way you'd come out unscathed.

VisualMaster
VisualMaster

@King_Martha

Hand to hand you would have little chance unless you're fully-clothed and super robustly built. Every generation of chimps has been genetically and behaviorally selected to withstand tonnes of punches and bites to critical regions. Two seconds into the fight it would be pulling your hair while holding one of your eyeballs in its hands and biting your neck, with its feet making your testicles into mush and urinating on the wound.

DeathDog
DeathDog

@5mileys
Chimp knows no martial arts.
Humans have perfected it for thousands of years.

Are you fucking retarded? Throw your garbage opinion in your anus,.

PurpleCharger
PurpleCharger

@DeathDog
martial arts that are meant to beat other humans that have greater strength and size.

Humans =/= chimps

Stupidasole
Stupidasole

@PurpleCharger
Are you fucking retarded?

Chimp is the same shape as human. Armbar on chimp works exactly the same way as armbar on human, or some other technique you use to instantly disable your enemy.

Chimp doesn't move any faster than human. Chimp isn't any stronger than human with the same amount of muscle mass. You stupid ass city kid. Go to a forest once.

The real advantage chimp has over humans is teeth and nails.

Supergrass
Supergrass

@PurpleCharger
so evolution isn't real

Stark_Naked
Stark_Naked

@Stupidasole
If a man and a chimp had equal muscle mass, the chimp would be far stronger. Muscle, tendon, and skeletal anatomy give humans more fine motor control at the cost of strength.

Harmless_Venom
Harmless_Venom

@King_Martha
what kind of training this man got?
what is the field?
probably the chimp he has fangs

Sir_Gallonhead
Sir_Gallonhead

@Stark_Naked
Nah, not true. Chimp muscle and human muscle are equal stuff.

Stfu now retard

w8t4u
w8t4u

The first rule of a knife fight is that you're going to get cut.
A chimp is stronger, pound for pound, but you are taller and heavier overall. You have the same total strength and more mass to throw. The only advantage the chimp has is brutality. To beat the chimp you must become the chimp, and when you are the chimp you are a bigger and heavier chimp. You will win, even if you come away with some wounds.

TreeEater
TreeEater

@King_Martha
The male common chimp stands up to 1.2m (3.9ft) high. Male adult wild chimps weigh between 40 and 60 kg

Chimp is easy to defeat. Think of chimp like dumb abo. Lure chimp to you with food. Gouge it's eyes out with sticks. A blind chimp, is a dead chimp.

Skullbone
Skullbone

Veeky Forums falling for ancient history /fit/ troll

Garbage Can Lid
Garbage Can Lid

@TreeEater
@LuckyDusty
@w8t4u
@Sir_Gallonhead
https://www.smithsonianmag.com/smart-news/why-are-chimpanzees-stronger-than-humans-1379994/
Note that this "twice as strong" figure does not count for pound-for-pound strength, just raw strength.

kizzmybutt
kizzmybutt

@King_Martha
diddy kong would slap a nigga dead

TechHater
TechHater

@Garbage Can Lid
From your article
A chimpanzee had, pound for pound, as much as twice the strength of a human when it came to pulling weights
retard. It literally says in your article that's it's pound for pound.

Need_TLC
Need_TLC

@Stupidasole
I doubt lady was effectively attempting to kill the chimp -- she was mostly screaming and trying to get away.

@Firespawn

You don't HAVE to, but why not?

w8t4u
w8t4u

human vs animal fights are way different from human vs human fights because we're softer (especially today, from easy lifestyle) and we rely more on reason while they use only instinct

in a fight with almost any animal, even small ones, you'll probably take damage while dealing any significant damage, so anyone who can't take some hits is out
animal vs animal fights almost always end with a good tooth or claw wound to a vital area (usually the neck), their thick skin and hard bones would make all punches and anything less than a perfect kick to the jaw or temple useless. The stomach is also a weak spot, but most animals respond to pain by becoming more vicious instead of less because most fights between animals mean the loser dies

basically your only real hope of winning is a choke or submission hold, which in the case of chimps somewhat works because our anatomy is similar.
pretty much @Nojokur
, a man with muscles, high endurance, wrestling/grappling experience and an aggressive style MIGHT win, anyone else loses 99 times out of 100

iluvmen
iluvmen

@VisualMaster
this. I don't know why I'm surprised by the amount of delusion ITT..

Playboyize
Playboyize

@Supergrass
wow. I'm not even that user but you're fucking stupid

Firespawn
Firespawn

@Nude_Bikergirl
seriously though, kind of think we should exterminate these fuckers. they're like all the bad qualities of humanity x2 without the ability to make art or discover science and mathematics.

Back to /pol/.

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