Which of the following sentences is better?
1) Her blouse wafted in the breeze.
2) Her blue blouse wafted in the breeze.
CONSIDER: The second one is more concrete; it evokes a better picture of the girl's blouse. But the first example, one could argue, offers more participation; readers can decide what colour the blouse is in their own minds.
So, which is better?
Second one has two words in a row that start with "bl", don't do that
Her blouse wafted in the blue breeze.
I like the first one more, the color of the blouse iisn't important
also this
The waffle breezed in her blouse.
What's wrong with two words beginning with 'bl'? Is alliteration to be avoided in prose?
Why do writers, then, even when these details aren't important, still feel the need to include them? Are even professional writers scared that they'll be, in some way, misunderstood?
Don't use adjectives unless they're necessary. In this case introduce the blouse as blue elsewhere, since it interrupts the flow of the sentence.
Would caress her inner thighs and crotch and smell my hands after
Huh... That's sound. I suppose it's good to keep a tally of these unnecessary details and find places later in the story where they pay off better. Thanks.
Lol wafted wtf kinda aesthetics is that
She thicc.
A blue blouse, ungirdled, was sustained gently behind her on the mild morning air
Suggest a better word, then, lil nigga.
Wafted connotes bad smells
Try "fluttered" or some shit
>sustained
5 cent word trying to fill a 15 cent's shoes
1
The first flows better.
thanks, lil nigga.
i agree. he's some purple prose fag.
agree. thanks
Hey shitbreeches, are you doing the hat trick?
It sounds weird when it's not being done intentionally. Alliteration isn't necessarily bad though.
As she walked the breeze played with the frill of her blouse.
More like I would "breeze" her blouse with my penis if you know what i mean hehe
Are you saying you'd fuck her?? Wtf
3)The Nothing itself nothings.
It's Joyce, morons.
>trying this hard to recover from being blown out
>you can't kek this shit up
>capped and saved
If irony 6/10
3/10 at best
Why blouse and not skirt, or even her hair, if only a few strands of it? Is the girl stationary or moving along? Sails don't waft, they billow, and a blouse is more like a sail than a football.. I think what's needed here is a little context.
Wafting makes me think of farts. Any advice you get here is pure preference.
Her blouse wafted in the breeze, bluely.
Her blouse blued in the wafting breeze
I'd let her breezes waft the blue hairs in my nose if you catch my drift
Blew
The blue blouse blew with the billowing breeze.
The blue blouse blew with the billowing wind, blissfully oblivious to it's bleak and barren future.
All me, I'm writing a book btw
>wind
Goddamnit I had one job
nothing's wrong; please alliterate all you want especially if it occurs naturally
There she stood, in a blue blouse and a black skirt. And her blouse wafted in the breeze.
who cares.
lmao.
can you post more kpop thighs for me?
kek
A breeze wafted from her blouse
Does the color matter in the story?
A BRAAAAAAAAAAAAP wafted from her blouse.
No way to tell without context. But it's not like you're actually writing anything so who cares?
Next.