The Food Poisoning Fiasco

>last week of 5th grade
>we get to buy lunch and take it to classroom
>buy burger
>halfway through, realize it's a bit pink inside
>think nothing of it
>later at night I just vomit on the living room floor(mom told my sister's to put one of my shirts on the vomit. Was pissed as hell )
>run to bathroom and have diarrhea for a few minutes
It sucked

>me studying for the last exam of the year that i had to take the following day
>feel hungry so make myself a sandwhich(it was the tomato btw)
>goodshit.png
>later at 1am feel some weird shit in my stomach
>5 mins later im vomiting
>feel better and go back to studying
>butwaittheresmore.png
>not nuch later im back to the toilet vomiting but also having diarheia
>literally spent the next hour in the toilet trying to vomit my fking stomach cause there was nothing left inside
>get drove to shitty hospital at around 3am
>retard nurse cant hit a god damned artery on my arm,took her 4 tries on each finds spot on the left
>after been given a pill and a serum on my left hand they throw me on a bed
>at 5am a nurse comes in "Hey user you asleep?" like the pain of my stomach trying to go through itself could let me
>stabs me another serum but now on my right hand(i think it was water so my body wouldnt dry out)
>is it what jesus went through?
>try to sleep,as if
>im there in a bed and i cant move around cause these fking things on both my hands
>next day cant eat food cause ill just throw it out
>doctor tells me to drink just a sip of water
>immediately stomach pains even more and have to vomit it
>mfw green and yellow water vomit
>"I knew it" he says
>mfer playing games with me
>dude tells me that i cant drink or eat for a while
>didnt care much,i had no fucks left on me
>my stomach every one or two hours tries to vomit air or just wants to out of me but at least no diarheia
>cant write/handle phone/ds/anything cause my hand is fking stabbed
>this goes on for 3 days more
>and these were the first 3 days of my vacation that year

side note:my stomach was fked up after this for 3 years and couldnt handle anything fried or generally heavy/unhealthy.Would have extreme pains cause of sensitivity.But now its a beast and can take anything.Feels like the story of akuma desu.Pic related.
>tfw was getting stronger very day

>friends driving me from a city west of the Mississippi river to St. Louis to catch a flight for korea where I'm to be stationed
>we've never eaten white castle since at that time they didn't exist west of the Mississippi river
>eat 6 white castle burgers with buttloads of fries
>spend a 8 hours of a 12 hour international flight in an airplane toilet shitting liquid

Never eaten there even once since then.

How did a tomato cause all that what the fuck

>eat llama in Bolivia
>raw pork in korea
>frog and intestine shit in vietnam
>Street food in India
>no food poisoning in 25+ years

Get on my level you try hard fags

Showing regret means your love for the burg isn't strong enough.

>Be like 16
>Go to Chinese buffet with friend and his family late in the day
>Eat way too much, we tell his parents we're going to walk home
>Secretly we just wanted to be able to smoke for a while before walking home
>After like 1 hr we get about half way there and I start to get horrible stomach pains
>Decide to try to make it the rest of the way
>Visually pained, have to waddle with my ass squeezed together to not shit myself
>Have to stop completely every time it starts hitting me to hold back the flood brewing in my colon
>Eventually decide I'm not gonna make it, tell my friend to go on ahead a bit while I take care of it
>Wait for him to get some distance away
>Drop my pants and spray molten diarrhea all over the side of the road
>Clean my ass with leaves, leaving them on the side of the road also
>mfw my mom drives down the same road after picking me up the morning after and points out someone shit all over the road

Are you Indian?

>>later at night I just vomit on the living room floor(mom told my sister's to put one of my shirts on the vomit. Was pissed as hell )
Capitalist American culture is caring more about your living room floor than the physical health of your own child.

>be me
>alcoholic
>late night shop to buy vodka and food
>pick up a chicken curry ready meal and said vodka and mixer
>forget to cook ready meal and leave it out overnight
>"eh it cant be that bad i may aswell eat it now"
>forget you dont fuck with rice and chicken
>eat it, it tastes good
>8-10 hours later i am shitting water, by 12 hours my abdomen was swollen and tender
>shivering, cold sweats
>still shitting water
>no sleep for 3 days because shitting and vomiting water
>by 3rd day i felt so weak walking to the bathroom became an exhausting task for my legs, legs give way a few times

never again

No if I was I probably wouldn't have gotten destroyed by poorly cooked chinese food

American.
It's a bad situation at the moment.
>f169bbs.com/bbs/news/487991-san-diego-like-3rd-world-country-shit-streets-hep-outbreak
Literally India 2.0

It was the side of a dead highway at 11 pm in my rural ass hometown
It was that or I shit my pants

is this for fucking real?
First world nation my ass.

They also didn't believe I actually got food poisoning and thought I was a bit sick. It was quite a while ago so I don't remember all the details.

>Be in Afghanistan
>Eat a giant breakfast at the DFAC
>Eat a Giant lunch at the DFAC
>Eat a giant dinner at the DFAC
>Eat purple lamb with my hands with a bunch of Afghani soldiers.
>a few hours later shitting and puking my brains out for hours.
>blackout from shitting so much
>wake up on a hospital bed with IV in my arm
> Repeat this process 2 more times during deployment

Proof that our military is lowering its recruitment standards.
You would never have made it through jump school you fucking pog so stay comfortable in your fucking MOB mentality.

Thanks for being a burden on our forward deployed medical assets due to your stupidity.
Once is forgivable but not three times you fucking idiot.

...

>The infectious disease has largely infected homeless people in the coastal California city, and part of the issue is an apparent shortage of public restrooms in areas where the population congregates.

This is why it should be illegal to be poor and combined household incomes of less than $275k should lose their right to vote.

try washing your hands next time you fuckin' remf

Are people really shitting in the streets in California? I was led to believe this was the most civillized state in the whole of the USA.

>Cuban food place in the city I work for
>Parents rave about this place
>Go and order chicken and yellow rice
>Literally 60 seconds later a plate of chicken and yellow rice is brought out to me
>This was not a fast food restaurant
>Its not like i was expecting them to slow roast the chicken and boil the rice after I ordered, but god damn that was quick.
>Figure they must have had such a popular meal under a heat lamp in the back
>Eat. 6/10 meal at best.
>3 hour later, tummy is a-rumbling
>1 hour after that, puke and shitting is imminent
>Puke once at work, loudly.
>Boss hears it. Dont even have to ask to go home. He just waves me out.
>Spend next three days puking and peeing out of my ass every hour on the hour that im awake
>Leave bad yelp review for cuban place
>Co-workers still eat there.

POO

>bad situation

And what makes it even worse is we (well I don't since I got woke after living several years in asia where hygiene is important) walk around on feces, urine, blood and vomit strewn sidewalks and wear those selfsame shoes in the house while our spawn drop their pacifiers on that tracked carpet and stick it right back in their mouth. Then we have the gall to bitch about India.

They're shitting, pissing, vomiting and bleeding in the streets of every US city. Stop living in denial, idiot.

>be me
>12
>eat these chips called churittos or something
>eat them all
>feelsgoodman.jpg
>stomach rumbles
>ohshit.jpg
>shit for next few hours
>shitburns
>never eat them again
pic related those are the chips

Is there a form of food poisoning that lasts months? It went from diarrhea to slightly more solid diarrhea + nausea and general GI discomfort

Got food poisoning right after all-you-can-eat sushi once. Had had food poisoning before and the symptoms weren't really any worse than previously but there's something about dealing with non-stop vomiting and shitting that on top of everything also reeks of rotten fish that really pushes the whole experience to the next level

Ate spoiled ray fish at a seafood restaurant. Literally tasted like the toilet (ammonia). Suffered fevers, chills and painfull knees. Now I sniff all of my fish.

Intestinal dysbiosis, yes.

What you want is to re-introduce good bacteria, which will then kill off the pathogenic bacteria.
Historically, people did this by eating garlic (as a low-key antibiotic), and by eating food fermented with good bacteria (blue cheese, sauerkraut, polish pickles, apple cider vinegar. You want to see cloudy fluid, not clear.)

You could also take a probiotic supplement, which has much the same effect.

You may have permanently fucked over the bacterial flora in your guts. It can be remedied quite easily with a shit transfusion from a healthy person.

>Be me in Morocco
>Go out to eat with qt girl at a small traditional Moroccan restaurant
>order chicken tanjin and it was good as fuck
>few hours later I run to the toilet
>literally shitting water out of my asshole
>girl thinks it's funny since my immune system isn't used to their food
>retort with a smart ass comment about how unclean their country is
>she punches me in the face and leaves me
>I run to the toilet to shit more liquid

Had some chicken tenders from a campus fast food place one night

Woke up in the middle in the night having to puke and spent the next 12 hours going back and forth puking violently and laying in my bed delirious not even able to hold down water

In hindsight probably should've gone to hospital

Also got pretty painful constipation for a day after eating some sushi and pulled pork at the campus cafeteria. Yogurt got me too

Fuck Gourmet Dining

>last night of family cruise
>buffet has "jambalaya" for dinner
>eat like 3 bowls + caesar salad
>proceeded to vomit every half hour after 1 am
>puke in toilet
>puke in sink
>tried to clean up but ended up clogging the toilet and puked on that
>morning, time to go
>have to get wheel chaired off ship
My family cruises pretty frequently and every time they have jambalaya on the last night.

Lol jump school isn't hard you tard. It's actually almost impossibly to fail.

>Long term investment in something that literally self repairs itself over a short amount of time with minimal money spent and inconvenience
Versus
>a long term investment on something that, once ruined, needs to be completely replaced, disrupting the household and costing way more money than would make it worth it

Getting pissed is kinda retarded, but kids heal. Floors need to be replaced.

>be me in Silicon Valley in the 90's
>grab chicken burrito from food truck
>wake up at 4:00AM with desire to puke and crap all at once
>do both, but contrary to expectation relief is not forthcoming
>that afternoon, entire body aches
>drink water so I don't stand in a helpless U-shaped rictus and puke/crap nothing for three minutes at a time
>crap and puke lukewarm water instead every 10-15 minutes
>early that evening my body finally wrings out the last of whatever invaded it (prolly salmonella)
>try a little buttered toast and instant chicken soup
>turn on TV, see spotlight on road, man falls from the sky and goes SMACK in the middle of the spotlight
>sit and eat slowly and every time I giggle at Mr Bean, my entire torso hurts
>next morning, get up and look in the mirror and my eyes are both solid fucking red -- seriously, I look like Count Dracula
>flee to urgent care in the berserk fear that I will look like this for the rest of my life, or develop eyeball cancer or some shit
>doctor calmly explains that this is normal after violently heaving all day, and suggests a regimen of eye drops and yogurt
>never go near food trucks again

>Walking home from uni a few days ago
>Get a fried chicken burger from local place on the way
>Notice it's the tiniest bit pink in the middle
>Fuck it, eat it anyway because I'm starving and it's delicious
>Finish it, half to walk about another half an hour to get home
>Walk for about ten minutes, feel stomach grumble intensely. Sudden urge to shit
>No public toilets so just have to keep going
>By the time I'm almost at my house I'm literally on the verge of shitting myself
>Waddle-walk as fast as I can to the door and frantically go inside, throw my backpack aside and beeline for the toilet
>Liquid shit blasts out my ass the second it hits the seat
Fuck me that was close. Felt fine afterwards though

Shit like "food poisoning" and "jet lag" are mild discomforts women make a big deal of. Good for you on being a raging fucking sissy, OP.

...

>12 years old
>eat some grilled chicken hearts
>puke for two days straight, puke so much that I couldn't even puke bile anymore
>go to the doctor
>medicine makes me have raging diarrhea
>every time I sneezed I'd shit myself

>21 years old
>friend wants to eat sushi
>tell her of a nice place I often go to
>she wants a cheaper option
>eat a weird tasting sushi
>I'm already sick by the time I'm paying the fucking bill
>puke for a day straight
>had a very important test on the day after, and I'm like a fucking zombie by the time I start it

On that night, I discovered that red gatorade turns yellow if you vomit it. I had quite a few test cases.

None of you know pain until you go through 6 solid hours of unbearable stomach cramps, before being rushed to the hospital, but they don't take your insurance, so you end up with a 900 dollar bill for nothing more than an aspirin and an x-ray.

you mean your /wurst/ enemy?