Why not just take a few minutes to make your own burgers for a fraction of the...

kizzmybutt
kizzmybutt

dude I'm too lazy to cook, so I'm going to put on clothes, go out at night in -10 degree weather, and buy hamburgers

Why not just take a few minutes to make your own burgers for a fraction of the cost? You can do it in the comfort of your own home in your underwear like I do.

All urls found in this thread:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f0KcoZhG3oE
TechHater
TechHater

@kizzmybutt
First six words of your post. Cooking involves doing stuff. Also thinking and a possibility of failure. Buying from a drive-through involves sitting and listening to music.

BinaryMan
BinaryMan

@kizzmybutt
everything unnecessarily complicated

I'm guessing that's Kenji Lopez-Alt?

GoogleCat
GoogleCat

@kizzmybutt
Just make simple meat and botato like me

Nude_Bikergirl
Nude_Bikergirl

Ya know i was thinking about ordering takeout when instead I used a simple and qiuck technique i learned

get a large pan filled with water and place a noodle of your type
put it on stove to boil
cooks noodles in fraction of time
empty pan and make whatever

I made stir fry tonight and was delicious. cooking for one best of fun

girlDog
girlDog

he uses hardware tools to cook hamburgers

Seriously?

farquit
farquit

I don't really like food, i just eat it because it's the moral thing to do.

haveahappyday
haveahappyday

@kizzmybutt
Jesus Christ Favreau, it's just a cheeseburger.

SomethingNew
SomethingNew

@GoogleCat
Also this probbaly looks like shit but it looks amazing to me because I've been drinking

Bidwell
Bidwell

@girlDog
kek

hairygrape
hairygrape

@kizzmybutt
If I had that guys kitchen I'd never eat out.

Gigastrength
Gigastrength

@kizzmybutt
all that faggoty finesse and the cheese isnt even melted

SniperGod
SniperGod

@kizzmybutt

smashed the patties against the grill instead of taking the time to form them by hand
uses a bunch of unnecessary tools
burger is burnt on one side and raw on the other because he cooked it unevenly at a super-high temp
looks like shitty processed cheese
bun is barely toasted
some kind of fucked up brown sauce on one side of the bun
no onion or other garnish to enhance the flavor profile of what is obviously cheap unseasoned beef
drippings that ooze out at the end are watery and brackish

You got a real loose definition of "perfected," OP.

New_Cliche
New_Cliche

@SniperGod
doesn't know what a smashburger is

Although I agree, he could have used a better bun and cheese (even though processed cheese is "traditional" for this style of burger).

Stupidasole
Stupidasole

Who the fuck uses a handpress like that for burgers? Or is that even a cooking tool? Looks like a wet cement scraper/flattener thing.

Do people seriously not just flatten them out and make burger patties by hand? I mean, I could see something like that being pretty useful in a restaurant situation. Made of heavy cast iron so it can be rested on the grill/flame/whatever at the same time so you just plop the patty down and then use the press to flatten it and cook it at the same time for fast and easy burgers.

Illusionz
Illusionz

kitchen fires perfected.webm

Fried_Sushi
Fried_Sushi

@BinaryMan
name comes from 3 different parts of the world

is this the 56% face that everyone is talking about?

Crazy_Nice
Crazy_Nice

@Fried_Sushi
Hello, fellow /int/ poster. :^)

Booteefool
Booteefool

@Fried_Sushi
he's probably a flip

happy_sad
happy_sad

@SomethingNew
I'm stoned and would eat all of that in a second

SniperWish
SniperWish

@Stupidasole
The point is to mash it into the griddle with a flat tool so that you get maximum contact between patty and the heat. The result is a really fucking thick and crusty sear. I've tried it and now prefer the double patty smash to a single thicker patty.

Supergrass
Supergrass

@SniperGod
burger is burnt on one side and raw on the other because he cooked it unevenly at a super-high temp
drippings that ooze out at the end are watery and brackish
These two are valid criticisms.

Dreamworx
Dreamworx

buterbrods are even easier to make
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f0KcoZhG3oE

Nojokur
Nojokur

he doesn't buy ground beef, make pre-formed patties, and throw them in the freezer to quickly make a bunch of burgers in the pan or oven when you're hungry for them

Lunatick
Lunatick

It's not cooking stuff that's the problem, it's the giant fucking mess I don't feel like cleaning up after.

idontknow
idontknow

@Lunatick
this
cook any type of meal
20-30 min to prepare and clean alltogether
eating takes 5-10 min

Just feels like i time jewed myself

Fried_Sushi
Fried_Sushi

@Lunatick
@idontknow
So do you eat take out food and frozen food only?

kizzmybutt
kizzmybutt

@kizzmybutt
Oh you left out the whole go to the store buy the ingredients for more money than the burgers would cost
get home unwrap wash everything
cook everything
clean everything
finally eat a hamburger that may or may not be better than the shit you get in the drive through. You have no spent more time and money to do more work.

Deadlyinx
Deadlyinx

I'm too lazy to cook so I pick someting up on my way own
such is life when you leave the house

VisualMaster
VisualMaster

@Fried_Sushi
Why not just take a few minutes to make your own burgers?
That is what I'm referring to. Yes I cook, but trying to claim that making food takes "a couple of minutes" is nonsense. Cleaning up after cooking burgers is a greasy mess. If I don't feel like cooking, I sure as hell don't feel like cleaning after.

ZeroReborn
ZeroReborn

@kizzmybutt
I can order a cheeseburger 24h a day here. It's here in like 20 minutes, it's not as fast but when I'm drunk at 2AM, I don't feel like cooking.

Nude_Bikergirl
Nude_Bikergirl

@kizzmybutt
How hot does the pan/griddle need to be that you get flare ups like that? Should I be cooking my burgers at that heat level? Fire in my kitchen scares me.

Gigastrength
Gigastrength

@SniperGod
Yeah all of this desu
form patties by hand, it's not fucking hard
season the meat, throw it in the pan at medium
don't fuck with the shit
flip once browned halfway up
don't fuck with the shit
throw on cheese a minute before done, add a cup of water and put lid on pan
let 'em rest and dress toasted potato buns with mayo, mustard, onion, tomato, semen, whatever
Done

PurpleCharger
PurpleCharger

@kizzmybutt
Anyone else imagining all the grease splattering all over the kitchen when he spins around with the patties on his spatula?

Also: shitty buns, he doesn't even let the cheese melt and the top halves of the patties were not cooked for nearly as long as they should have been.

BunnyJinx
BunnyJinx

@SomethingNew
I'm sober and fat and that looks delicious

Ignoramus
Ignoramus

@PurpleCharger
No, not just imagining. He literally is doing that.

Sir_Gallonhead
Sir_Gallonhead

I take it a step further and just buy frozen black bean burgers, at least I can be lazy and healthy.

takes2long
takes2long

@kizzmybutt
If you live somewhere where it's -10 LITERALLY kill yourself for being retarded.

Playboyize
Playboyize

@kizzmybutt
clean up not included. that's why.
what about the fries, the coke, the tomatoes, salad, bacon, sauce, pickles. there you go, easily 1hour to cook and clean up everything.

Sharpcharm
Sharpcharm

@takes2long
Michigan resident chiming in, it gets cold as fuck sometimes, but the rest of the seasons make it totally worth. Kill yourself might be a little extreme, but I will accept severely injure yourself if that's good enough.

Firespawn
Firespawn

@Sharpcharm
Only if you cut off your [spoiler]anus[/spoiler]

BlogWobbles
BlogWobbles

@kizzmybutt
um, because it takes way longer, especially if you have to go buy the food. The cleanup on its own justifies going out

Stupidasole
Stupidasole

b-b-but im busy!!!
i dont have time to cook!!!
i'm too tired after hard day at work!!!
i can't make anything good anyway so why bother!!!
And then they proceed to throw that frozen pizza in the oven for 15~ minutes, wait for it, eat it and then after a few hours they weel hungry again because it just wasn't all that satisfying.
@Nude_Bikergirl
I made stir fry tonight and was delicious
I make almost nothing but stir-fry at home because it's so damn simple, quick and damn tasty even when it's just some onions, green beans, basmati rice and spices.

whereismyname
whereismyname

@kizzmybutt
fat black bitches general

Stark_Naked
Stark_Naked

@TechHater
I sometimes wonder why this board exists anymore
Veeky Forums - Alt-Right Redditors Discuss Fast Food & Jack

Nude_Bikergirl
Nude_Bikergirl

@takes2long
I don't know man I like the cold weather, places where it gets above 70F I fucking hate

Poker_Star
Poker_Star

@Gigastrength
one CUP of water?

PurpleCharger
PurpleCharger

@Stark_Naked
What the hell about that post gave you the impression they are alt right?

happy_sad
happy_sad

I don’t enjoy cooking, washing up tableware and cookware is irritating. I’d rather buy food that’s gonna taste the same every time I order it.

w8t4u
w8t4u

@PurpleCharger
I was just giving a general overview of what this board has become in the last year.

Carnalpleasure
Carnalpleasure

@w8t4u
You mean this site? Fuck off back to tumblr libtard

TalkBomber
TalkBomber

@girlDog
u use a drywall scraper when making smash burgers so u don't leave any crusty stuff on the pan u fucking idiot

WebTool
WebTool

@w8t4u
Welcome to Veeky Forums I guess? This website will cease to exist before it ever leans left. We enjoy freedom of speech here.

BlogWobbles
BlogWobbles

@Carnalpleasure
And this is exactly what I was talking about.

PurpleCharger
PurpleCharger

@BlogWobbles

And yet you are still here.

StrangeWizard
StrangeWizard

@kizzmybutt
That grease is disgusting

whereismyname
whereismyname

@BlogWobbles
The only difference between Veeky Forums and any other social media sites is they don't ban people or lock accounts for speaking your mind. Bite back if you don't like what people say to you. It happens on /pol/ all the time.

Need_TLC
Need_TLC

Clean your fucking kitchen.

Sir_Gallonhead
Sir_Gallonhead

@PurpleCharger
Because I've been coming here since 2006 and I'm not going to leave my home even if a bunch of redditors come in and shit all over it.

@whereismyname
I shouldn't need to defend my political beliefs on a cooking board and that's my main issue. I don't even lean left but I'm tired of this shit.

King_Martha
King_Martha

why do nu males put toppings on the bottom of sandwiches?

iluvmen
iluvmen

@Sir_Gallonhead
I don't really feel like this board really has a big problem with alt-right posters. There is always going to be a few here and there, but that's Veeky Forums dude. I'm probably dead to it though because of spending so much time on /pol/. But I come here for the related topics, I don't spew politics here. My recommendation is to just ignore it.

DeathDog
DeathDog

@Stupidasole
bitches that people won't put in any effort to make their own food
just easts stir fry every fucking night because it's simple and easy

What a fuckin' idiot. Anyways, cooking at home sucks when you have a life to live. That's why I love Uber Eats.

SniperWish
SniperWish

Why not just take a few minutes
lmao. every time

MPmaster
MPmaster

@SomethingNew
@GoogleCat
Nah it's good. Looks like fried potatoes with some peppers. God tier baby. For breakfast most days I eat sausage, eggs, and friends potatoes with peppers and onions and turn into a breakfast skillet thing. Cover it in some texas pete.

lostmypassword
lostmypassword

@GoogleCat
this looks excellent, OP looks like mashed beef with kaft cheese between buns

Methnerd
Methnerd

@BlogWobbles
Lmao. You are just a newfag from reddit. Veeky Forums is way less racist than it used to be. Youre just a dumb nigger lover.

idontknow
idontknow

@Methnerd
technically accurate. before it was more "racist" but purely to troll people. the difference now instead of pretending to be retarded racist rednecks to piss people off, theres actual retarded rednecks here. weird switch.

RavySnake
RavySnake

@idontknow
The point being that if he is getting triggered by some Trump supported on Veeky Forums I would love to see his reaction to all the cheese pizza that used to run rampant in the early days.

CouchChiller
CouchChiller

@WebTool
It was left leaning long before you ever showed up though. The alt-right pleb factory is a brand new phenomenon.

Dreamworx
Dreamworx

@RavySnake
i dont think its that unreasonable. back then it would of been a person pretending to be a trump supporter to get a rise. now theres actual trump supporters. we used to laugh at idiots for fun here and...well, now, heres an idiot who thinks hes in welcome arms.

honestly thats the biggest change here, over all the years. this place went from not taking itself seriously, just in it for the laughs to taking itself seriously.

@CouchChiller
not as heavy left as people think, much more neutral. people cite us taking down hal turner because he was a white supremacist, i dont think thats true, he got targeted because he was online, exploitable and reactionary.
If hal showed up today, people would unironically defend him. back in the day it was attack him...or defend him ironically to piss MORE people off.

Raving_Cute
Raving_Cute

@RavySnake
Yeah but nobody was pro bush. I mean to genuinely like any person in politics you gotta be a bootlicker

askme
askme

@Fried_Sushi
No he's just a cuck who took his wife's name.

Burnblaze
Burnblaze

@PurpleCharger
It cooks nearly all the way through on the first side because it's so thin.

BlogWobbles
BlogWobbles

@King_Martha
So the lettuce catches the juice instead of the bun.

FastChef
FastChef

@RavySnake
I don't care if you support Trump or not, I voted for him myself. My point is I'm tired of having politics spill out onto a cooking board. It's really not that difficult to understand but people like you can't see beyond black and white "libruls vs conservatives" and assume that my concerns are an attack on your political stance.

BunnyJinx
BunnyJinx

@RavySnake

The thing is, not every thread on every other board was derailed by child porn like most threads are derailed by shouts of cuck and soyboy. You could hop off of /b/ and be pretty certain you're in safe territory.

Now I'm in a thread about breakfast or comic books and having to ignore the idiot in the corner shouting about how angry he is about how the leftists are causing something.

Dreamworx
Dreamworx

@King_Martha
imagine being this retarded

Stark_Naked
Stark_Naked

@FastChef
@BunnyJinx
@Raving_Cute
@Dreamworx
Just some triggered redditors. Nothing to see here

Crazy_Nice
Crazy_Nice

Have to have everything on hand
Wait for beef to thaw
Wait for grill to heat
Pull out all ingredients, arrange them
Split buns
Get cheese
Get condiments
Wait for burgers to cook
Wait for cheese to melt
Assemble
Eat
30 minutes of time for a snack
vs
Get in car
Drive to mcdonalds
Get burger
Get home
Eat
5 minutes

Booteefool
Booteefool

@Stark_Naked
see, this is the new version of ebaumsworld.com, but he actually believes it instead of being just an insult. back then youd pretend to be from ebaums, or hate ebaums, just based on what you think would get the largest rise.

Boy_vs_Girl
Boy_vs_Girl

@Stark_Naked
I would like to think I'm being pretty reasonable. I'm all for the troll shitposting on other boards, but blue boards used to be more respectable pre-2016 election

Soft_member
Soft_member

@Stark_Naked
Fag gets triggered over politics and brings it up in random thread for no reason
Fuck off retard

5mileys
5mileys

@Soft_member
I was making a general statement but then triggered retards like you took the one piece of it and decided to make the conversation all about that.

BunnyJinx
BunnyJinx

@5mileys
The fact that you singled out "alt-right" tells anyone everything they need to know about you. From the second you singled out the alt-right you proved right there that you were triggered first.

Need_TLC
Need_TLC

@kizzmybutt
Thanks for making sure the top bun was within 1 mm of perfect placement,John.

Harmless_Venom
Harmless_Venom

@Crazy_Nice
actually adding "split buns" as a step
yea alright we can do this

open house door
walk to car
unlock car
get in car
put on seatbelt
start car
back out of parking area
begin driving
stop at multiple stoplights
arrive at burger place
drive up to drive-through
place order
wait in line
advance
wait in line
advance
ready payment method
give payment method
take food
leave fast food place
stop at multiple stop lights
park car
turn off car
open door
close door
lock car
walk to house
unlock door
open door
sit down
eat

kizzmybutt
kizzmybutt

@Harmless_Venom
didn't walk inside when you got home
opened the front door and just sat down on the porch
didn't unwrap food before eating
2/10 see me after class

StonedTime
StonedTime

@Gigastrength
At most you add like 50ml of water for steam, not a whole fucking cup

BinaryMan
BinaryMan

@kizzmybutt
he orders his food unwrapped and eats on the ground outside like the fucking mongrel he is

PurpleCharger
PurpleCharger

@happy_sad
I don't enjoy cooking
What the fuck are you doing on this board?

Raving_Cute
Raving_Cute

@PurpleCharger
he's probably here for the "food" part of "food and cooking"
but it would be a waste of time at that point, I think

Skullbone
Skullbone

@Crazy_Nice
You split bun get cheese/condiments while meat is cooking. Cheese takes almost as long to cook meat once flipped.

Otherwise
drive to mcds
wait in queue
get told to go to parking bay

TechHater
TechHater

@Harmless_Venom
umm sweety?

have to be born
need to have soap
need to have towel
need running water
turn on tap
adjust temperature
wash hands
dry hands
have to own refrigerator
have to have cupboards
have to have the foresight to purchase beef
have to have the foresight to purchase buns
but not so much foresight that the buns are stale by the time you need them
need salt
need peppermill
need peppercorns
need cookie cutters
need cutting board
form patty into perfect circle using cookie cutter on cutting board
salt patty
grind peppercorns
pepper patty
wash cookie cutter
pay gas bill
turn on burner
adjust flame
season cast iron skillet
wait for skillet to preheat
open drawer
retrieve spatula
place patty in pan
sear patty
slide spatula underneath patty
flip patty
retract spatula
continue searing
place cheese
wait for cheese to melt
remove buns from cupboard
remove twist tie
open bag
pull buns apart from other buns
place on plate
bunch up bag
re-tie
place in cupboard
close cupboard door
split buns
extract patty onto buns
assemble
eat
wash plate
wash spatula
wipe out skillet
clean stovetop
notice single droplet of condiment on shirt
take off shirt
place shirt in washing machine
measure detergent
place detergent
pay water bill
set wash time
set wash temperature
start washing machine
wait for shirt to be washed
place shirt in dryer
pay electric bill
set dry time
set dry temperature
wait for shirt to be dried
shirt is now too clean to wear
take shower
shampoo hair
soap body
rinse hair
towel off
put shirt on
6 hours for a snack

vs.

go to mcdonalds
eat burger
2 minutes

eGremlin
eGremlin

I actually am thinking about making burgers tomorrow. The local Food Lion has hamburger patties on sale for about $5.00 for four patties. Give me some good seasonings, Veeky Forums.

likme
likme

@kizzmybutt
It's 80 degrees here.

kizzmybutt
kizzmybutt

@eGremlin
Fuck Food Lion.

Snarelure
Snarelure

@BunnyJinx
I singled out the most prominent political affiliation that destroys boards with shitposting. I don't see many people here talking about the communist revolution, but I do see a shitton of faggots tossing out their jewish food conspiracies and unironically calling people "cuck".

Stark_Naked
Stark_Naked

@Snarelure
Nah. You singled out the political party that offends you so much. Look how triggered you are. You have responded to my every post, even my dumbass nonsensical ones. Youre that mad about the /pol/ boogeyman and big evil orange hitler.

Fried_Sushi
Fried_Sushi

@Stupidasole
i dont want to get my hands dirty

Need_TLC
Need_TLC

@kizzmybutt
motivation is a matter of perception and attitude, not actual effort

Spamalot
Spamalot

@kizzmybutt
Have you seen the people that go to grocery stores at 2 in the morning? Even in the "good" part of town?
one entrance locked
armed security standing right at the open entrance/exit, clean-cut black man
straight up dirty hood trash rolls in
"sir, please leave." (I assumed he was visibly drunk or something but I was too far away to tell)
"ay FUCK U NIGGA"
marches off into the store
lose sight of him
next time I see him he's being literally dragged out of the store by security and dumped on the sidewalk
And that's why I don't go to the store in the dead of night anymore. Sure, I'll try to keep hamburger stuff on hand for late night munchies but if I'm fresh out I'll go through the fucking drive-thru.

AwesomeTucker
AwesomeTucker

@kizzmybutt

Okay, so I'm gonna put on clothes, go out at night in 10 degree weather, find a 24/7 shop which is three times as far as nearest open fast-food, and buy the ingredients to make my own burgers.

AwesomeTucker
AwesomeTucker

@BinaryMan
complicated
I feel so confused
is this what good bait looks like?

CodeBuns
CodeBuns

@kizzmybutt
They would most likely be healthier though. I can't stand the suave they put on burgers at fast food places.

Only Dijon for me please :)

Nojokur
Nojokur

I like midnight walks in the cold desu. Burgs are a reason to go out

Bidwell
Bidwell

@DeathDog
Huh? are you retarded or just stupid or perhaps a nigger?
I work as a chef so i get enough of cooking at work for the most parts so at home i'd rather do something simple and also...
i make almost nothing but stir-fry
almost
Do you know what that word mean?

JunkTop
JunkTop

buying a press
not getting a dome to help melt cheese

Christ.......

Soft_member
Soft_member

@TechHater
I browse Veeky Forums in the drive thru

WebTool
WebTool

@kizzmybutt
@SniperGod

he's doing a shakeshack-style burger, and he did a pretty good job of it. the burger is super thin so it cooks extremely quickly. obviously it's american cheese on this type of burger, he didn't seem to use any unnecessary tools, the sauce is some form of thousand island, the bun looks toasted fine.

the only gross thing he did was blow out the fire with his mouth, potentially spitting all over the food. he should find a way to fix the flaring up in his arrangement there.

StrangeWizard
StrangeWizard

not going to McDonald's and ordering a McChicken and eating it in the store, alone.

Dreamworx
Dreamworx

@kizzmybutt
pickle on the bottom

massdebater
massdebater

@happy_sad
washing up table ware and cookware is irritating
t. roastie

Methshot
Methshot

@TechHater
a hearty kek. It is amazing how tedious our lives are though once you pay attention to everything you do. Thank God for the subconscious mind.

TalkBomber
TalkBomber

@Dreamworx
i don't like pickles

TechHater
TechHater

@kizzmybutt
Yeah, you're not factoring in the 15 minutes of cleanup involved with that shit. Unless you're some ghetto trash that never cleans their cooking surfaces.

CodeBuns
CodeBuns

@TechHater
wipe down cast iron with a paper towel
quick squirt of soap onto sponge
wipe off flipper
wipe off burger press
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW

Fuzzy_Logic
Fuzzy_Logic

@CodeBuns
You just started a fucking meat and grease fire on a griddle running at 500+ degrees and you think you can dab it off with some Dawn? Have you ever cleaned anything?

Nojokur
Nojokur

@TalkBomber
I'm not sure if that's what he's saying, but putting a pickle on the bottom means you're going to get a taste of vinegar before almost everything else and vinegar is a pretty strong flavor that could be overwhelming on its own.

girlDog
girlDog

@kizzmybutt
One of the biggest drawbacks to cooking at home imo is the lack of fresh air. Fuck money, fuck making your own meal, even if the quality is shit sometimes you just need an excuse to take a walk.

viagrandad
viagrandad

@Fuzzy_Logic
Have you?

Disable AdBlock to view this page

Disable AdBlock to view this page