How the fuck do I fry an egg

How the fuck do I fry an egg

put it in the frying pan

Pan. Hot.

Olive oil. In.

Egg. On.

Salt. Pepper. Done.

OP I suck at cooking and even I can do this. Come on now.

>Burner light
>Put a pot in a hot burner
>Add bread or butter or oil
>Jump off with a young bread
>Cook a few minutes
>If you want a particular side, remove the egg from the pot
>If you want to remove both sides, please use the spatula once and heat it for a few seconds, then remove it from the pot

Unbelieveable

How do I turn on my egg?

>frying eggs in olive oil
Use bacon grease or at least some oil with a high smoke point

Go to McDonalds. They make the best eggs.

You rub its shell and call it a slut

Why would you need a high smoke point to cook an egg?

> Frying in olive oil

More clueless than OP

this butter be bait

>Melt butter into the pan on medium
>Wait until is bubbling sort of
>Crack an egg into the pan

Scrambled:
>Toss it around until it needs just a little bit more heat to be the consistency you like and take it out (it will finish cooking on the plate)

Sunnyside up:
>Wait until the bottom is firm enough to hold together and is getting some color
>Take out of pan

Over easy:
>Wait until the bottom is firm enough to hold together and is getting some color
>Slide your spatula under the egg quickly
>Turn your spatula quickly close to the pan
>Turn off the heat
>Wait until the bottom is firm
>Take out of pan

Over hard:
>Wait until the bottom is firm enough to hold together and is getting some color
>Slide your spatula under the egg quickly
>Turn your spatula quickly close to the pan
>Wait until the bottom looks the same as the top
>Take out of the pan

what a shame

Makes a great egg, especially if you're into tasting things right after a healthy dose of smoke.

this thread's a joke, right? you can't honestly have difficulty frying an egg.

Olive oil is not for frying, use canola

you fry eggs in pig lard it's common knowledge you fucking morons

that's a lot of punctuation buddy

put the egg on the stove and roll it back and forth a few times

I did for a while. The tricky bit is not cooking the yolk.

my process for the perfect sunny side with no uncooked white bits:

>heat pan
>apply butter or oil
>apply egg (pre cracked into a bowl)
>let cook for 30-45 seconds
>add a small splash of water (about a shot glass worth)
>put lid that is smaller than the pan over the eggs
>reduce heat
>wait for water to sizzle off
>let sit for a few more seconds

tada! i know its pretty autistic but the eggs come out perfect.

I used to do this until I learned that a sunny side up egg with slightly crisp edges is god tier.

the water stage is optional but the lid thing is obligatory

>grab small nonstick pan
>burner on medium-low heat
>butter in pan
>crack 3 eggs into a bowl
>coat pan surface in the melting butter
>pour eggs into pan
>cook for a minute or so
>put lid on pan
>wait for the yolk surface to begin whitening
>turn off heat
>slide eggs off pan onto a plate
>finish with salt and pepper

wa la

stopped reading at nonstick pan

>nonstick pans are suboptimal for literally every purpose and if you ever use one you are an uneducated pleb

Anyone else read this in Gordon Ramseys voice?

Nope, who dat?

nobody cares about your gay uncle

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA OLIVE OILLLLLLLLLLLLLL GTFO

What's wrong about frying in olive oil?

evoo has a low smoke point and will turn bitter when cooked on high heat. Regular refined olive oil is probably ok. Butter really is the patrician's choice though.

These. Anyone who would eat food which has came into contact with these ungodly heated chemicals and goodness knows what noxious substances deserves all they get.

>i don't understand greentext

also the heat won't be high enough to get to the point where the pan is unsafe

I don't know who that is.

Nothing. There's apparently a lot of retards on ck (surprise surprise) that don't know how to cook without flaming the shit out of their oil. Olive oil is actually great for frying stuff in, and tastes the best as long as you know what you're doing and don't fuck it up.

Yep, i did.