Okay fuckers. Baker living in Virginia here, which means two things

Okay fuckers. Baker living in Virginia here, which means two things.

1) I just woke up, so it's breakfast time
2) the 1.5 inches of snow on the ground means everything is closed for the day

.....so, we're gonna make some What's-In-The-Fridge eggy in a basket.

First things first. Get yourself some bread. Have some goddamn self respect and buy a loaf of sourdough from a local bakery. Anything too cakey is gonna turn kind of french toasty on us.

Next, cut out the exact volume of one large egg from the middles. If you throw them away I will find you, and I will kill you.

Then you're gonna mayo up one side of everything on your plate. I don't know what asshole in my house bought this mayonnaise but use Duke's for christ's sake, or Hellman's if you're a yankee.

Throw that shit down in a cast iron that your roommates routinely destroy the seasoning on and then mayo the other side as well.

Wait about a minute over high heat before you crack the eggs into the holes. This'll help stop them leaking out from under the bread.

If you're gonna fork and knife it, you can leave the yolks in tact if you like 'em runny, but I tend to use my hands, so I break the yolks to prevent messy hands later.

Give it a while and then one good flip til both sides are done to your liking, then look in your fridge for whatever bullshit might go good on top of eggs and toast.

Carefully load your slices into a crusty toaster oven and wait 'til the cheese is melted to your liking.

Go pet your dog while you're waiting. You know you've been ignoring him.

Finally, salt and pepper, any sauces you might wanna put on, and enjoy.