Hey there! Can I get you a drink to start off?

thats one sexy mexican

Hey baby, you can start off by giving me your home address so I can call ICE. Also yes, I'll have a Coke.

I'll have some iced tea witha straw please and sugar.

Yes, hun. I'll take a tap water if you'll please.

What kinda coke? We have Pepsi, sprite, and bang's

A cup of your finest pussy juice.

I don't tip

y-you too

I don't tip, get me a fresh squeezed orange juice you nasty Mexiwhore

Ahhhh-nnnn nyeah I'm good, thanks. Thank you.

I'd give her the tip. If ya know what I mean.

I'll take as many locally sourced jams as possible, please.

I hate this shit. Bitch I havent even seen your menu yet. I dont know if I will have, beef, pork, chicken, fish, pasta or whatever.

I'll take a large coke, a large coke, a medium coke, a small coke, a small coke, a small coke, and a small coke.

3 raw porks and a half summaya

Just ask for water and order your drink the second time she comes around

your hot piss in my mouth

locally sourced H2O please

yeesh, no good boy points for you this month.

>local h2o
>consuming dead water poisoned by chemicals and irradiated by UV or other life-killing processes

I'd like a half liter of your fluoride-free, chlorine-free RAW water, please.

B A S E D
A
S
E
D

can i get UUHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Pussy juice martini

*princess points

If you have a penis, you get GBP, fuck off.

Your milkies, please

I order water without ice because I'm thirsty and want to chug the mofo without lowering my body core temperature

I automatically went to send you to your room after reading this. You need a time out and calm down.

Orangeade with two slices of lìmon por favor

>without lowering my body core temperature
why would you possibly want to avoid this? Are you quite sickly?

>One alcoholic beverage order so far
This thread is like a tiny babby.

Medium dry Tanqueray Ten martini with some olive brine on the side, and a glass of soda water please.

"could I see your taplist"

Coke with no ice please. Fine, pepsi is ok

Yes please I want to request another waitress with sleeves on

Do beautiful Hispanic armpits intimidate you?

ice water can cause cramping - don't believe me? - go chug a glass of ice water

eyes up here, buddy

>eyes up here
no. you are not the boss of me.

stop staring at her low cut jeans, where her goodies is just centimeters away - stare at her boobies instead

>Prime Lohan
Muh dick

I chug ice water all the time, the worst I get is a brain freeze.
Maybe ur a lil' bitch

water for now, I'll order a cocktail when you come back

the more ice the less drink dipshit

elaborate?

>worst I get is a brain freeze
Not much to worry about I your case I take it

Sorry I thought you'd understand I'd like a water, since I am a regular after all
>O-okay sir well get you one water
Alright, you seem busy, so I may still tip you
>Yes sir
Oh and don't forget our bread

Ah, it is happy hour? One pitcher of coors light for 6 and a half dollars and some lemon, please.

so 4 large cokes, got it

No thank you. I brought my own water.

Diet coke always or carbonated water

>double gin please

...

The more ice, the more watered down your bottomless drink is.
Think about that statement for a minute, think about why I’m right and then form a coherent response that consists of your apology.

Lemme get a Sam seasonal

can i get a mai tai with extra grenedine
I don't really like the taste of alcohol

I don't know. Can you?

daddy's cummies tyvm

This is not a problem for normal people, you are ill

not really. If you drink it fast enough, the ice doesn't have enough time to melt to cause significant watering down. Just keep slamming down the drinks and you're good.

For me it's diet Coke and an ice water

Fuck she used to be so hot. What a waste

*sharts* Yeah, I'll have a large diet coke, 1/4th regular coke with little ice.

Pint of Guinness and a quiet booth please

A diet coke and some sugar packets.

Unsweet ice tea pls

just lemon slices please

lol

Double grey goose and vodka, neat

kek

Yes, I'll have an IPA and also a small bowl of sugar to sweeten to taste

milky

You handed me the menu 2 seconds ago. Let a nigga breathe.

Y- you too.

A single shot of Bullit bourbon. Neat if you please.

Ill take a bowl of boiled eggs and your number.

"Two shots of espresso over ice and a water, please and thank you."
>implying bitches don't get wet for good table manners

>manners
>please and thank you
Manners? Try coming off less bitchy. Anyone who tries to pull a "please and thank you" like they're entitled to shit but are forced to act polite to the pleb folk can eat shit and die.

tl;dr version:

That's nothing special anyone can eat shit and die it's easy.

But still fuck you if you're the "please and thank you" user.

Based peepee poster

Listen ere, one bud unopened n a sweet tea.

I don’t understand why do you keep posting this?

If you actually ever say "Please and thank you" you are what is wrong with society. Thanking someone PRIOR implies that you know they're going to do what you just asked, which defeats the entire purpose of saying "please" in the first place. Just fucking thank them when they bring you your shit.

I'll have half a glass of cooked rice topped up with coke (Pepsi's fine) heated under the heat lamp for a few minutes.

>I don't drink water

Grey goose is vodka. Do you want another kind of vodka too? Do you know what you are doing?

>going to restaurants not serving house-distilled agua

I'll have a cok-
>Is Pepsi okay?
or
I'll have a peps-
>Is coke okay?

t. Chinese

Good to see a man of action and reason on Veeky Forums.

water with a shot of black

yeah, man.

i'm sure she would have totally fucked you back when she was so hot, too. she must be so desperate 4 ur dick now. so desperate to fuck you. now that you think she's ugly. just think about how desperate she is now that you aren't lusting for her anymore, man she's probably getting so horny for you. but you're a mature man of sophistication and would never tarnish your lil cock with the trash she's become. yeah. you're a real fucking catch.