Recipe calls for red peppers

>shaker is filled with sea salt

"mascarpone"

>Recipe calls for nesquik
>only have raw organic cacao powder
>grow a beard and get an arm sleeve tattoo

Recipe called for cornstarch
I figured psylium husk would be a good enough thickener.

The whole province of Sichuan just shuddered. Or it might have been an earthquake, who knows.

>Recipe calls for onion
>use garlic

Eggs are basically cheese that comes from chickens, right?

>tfw grocery store sales ad has red bell peppers 2 for $3
Gee thanks for the hot deal.

I used slices of radish as a replacement for water chestnuts in a stir fry recipe once

You can get milk from chickens, they have breasts.

>recipe calls for red hot chilli peppers
>use vanilla ice instead

>demon asks for a virgins blood
>gets mad when I give him a 28 years old neckbeard I found on a Dungeons and Dragons gathering

Demons that don't specify the gender of the virgin blood they want are the worst.

I understand that reference.

lol muh man,el oh f'n el

>recipe calls for whole milk
>only have baby formula on hand

>recipe calls for olive oil
>only have extra virgin olive oil

I laughed pretty hard at this

>recipe asks for kosher salt
>only have filthy goyim salt

>recipe calls for margarine
>use butter instead

M A D M A N
A this A
D M
M guy D
A A
N A M D A M

>i only wanted chocolate milk

underrated

>stroganoff calls for smetana
>only have smegma

>replaced mint with mint sauce

That mojito did not quench my thirst at all.

>recipe calls for heavy cream
>mix 2% milk and butter

someone call the police

Only have fine salt, don’t have mortar and pestle to make extra extra fine salt. :^(

>got no milk for my coffee
>mix sour cream, water, and sugar

>recipe calls a pinch of love
>use 1/2 tsp of insecurity

>use semisweet instead of bittersweet chocolate chips for cookies

WAKE ME UP INSIDE

>biscuit recipe lists buttermilk
>mix butter with milk
Biscuits came out like hardtack.

lmao add lemon juice to milk and let rest for 5 minutes if you want to substitute in buttermilk

Have sex with it.

>making steak au poivre
>use ground pepper instead of crushed peppercorns

everyone floats down here

buttermilk isn't just curdled milk. this is terrible advice.

It does the job buttermilk was intended for in most recipes, so what's the problem?
Here's some more

>mfw redditors thought it was a serious post in a serious thread

*too autistic to hug you*

just buy buttermilk you poor faggots

I dont use buttermilk often enough to justify it rotting in my fridge

>want to make spaghetti bolognese
>brown meat
>realize I have no spaghetti
>boil fusilli
>realize I have no bolognese spices
>end up baking the meat and noodles with loads of cheese

you are a terrible cook.

not everyone is from the south, user

At university I saw at least 3 people try to make sushi using boiled rown rice.
I also saw someone try to make risotto with a pre-cooked uncle bens pack of microwave rice.

They deserved what they ended up eating, I guess.

underrated

NO SALT FOR YOU!

>recipe is for frog's legs
>use dog's legs instead

>be making Kraft dinner...shits coming together quick, so I go to the fridge for some milk...
>nope...no milk, outa coffee cream too...have some week old choclate milk though, figure whats the worst that can happen...
>wrong...right into the trash, it's that bad...

You're a retard.

>lost in desert and getting really hungry
>eat the sand which is there

>recipe calls
>hang up

this. A good cook will make meals based on what's in his fridge so things never go bad.

I've been in that position before. Water and a lot of butter would have served you better.

...

Yup...lesson learned...

>recipe calls for red onion
>use purple onion

>recipe calls for pepper and salt
>Only have black pepper and kosher salt

should be just right for you, loser

>recipe calls for activated almonds
>only have deactivated almonds

Yellow pepper is the best tho

>recipe calls for steamed clams
>make steamed hams instead

>recipe calls for lemon juice
>only have lemon zest

They all taste the same bro.

>recipe calls for almond extract
>only have peppermint extract

>recipe calls for ribeye
>only have NY strip
It was a sad dinner

That's the joke senpai

But they dont tho
Are you 5d chess meming me?

Did that with cheddar tuna helper once. Still ate it.

>calls for a homemade coconut
>I can only buy them at the store