Just received my 50th rejection

That's what I've been trying to do. I have just received rejections so far.

post an excerpt and we'll tell you how shit your writing is (and it is shit)

>How the fuck can anyone know their writing is good?

It's pretty fucking easy. You know how you read books and stuff, and afterwards you think, "Man that was good."

Do you feel the same way about your work? Are you proud that you wrote it? Do you look at it and think, "Damn, I really nailed what I was going for there!"?

>Commentary by professional people is required to be able to actually improve.

Necessary? No. Helpful, sure. As a writer, you need to develop instincts, so that you are personally aware of the quality of your material. BTW, op has 50 rejections, that's pretty good input there.

None of this is easy btw. It's one reason why there's so few actual writers in the world.

Is the twist that the story is longer than 14 words?

Here you go: pastebin.com/ecLFUfwN

Any feedback is welcome.

No, that's not the twist.

short stories blow
vignettes are good

is 100% right! you know your piece is done when it tells all you want it to tell, and beyond agonizing over commas and single words, you cant make any improvements to it without significantly altering it

> being this retarded

Pretentious garbage. Give up.

nobody reads short stories except wannabes and posers. collections of vignettes (dubliners, winesburg, etc) are high culture.

you are lightyears behind and will never catch up.

>pastebin.com/ecLFUfwN
Holy fuck you are trying so hard to sound smart. Why should anyone care about the premise of this enough to dig through the mountain of cruddy stodge prose?

>pastebin.com/ecLFUfwN

as is usually the case with bad writing, you lost me after 1 paragraph.

>One may live as decent a life as is possible in this largely repulsive world, keeping mostly at bay the desire to annihilate oneself or others, while uttering no more than some thirteen or fourteen words. What these words may be is not the subject of this story, nor is the number itself anything but an estimation designed to placate those who cannot conceive of saying nothing at all.

So for starters, you open her up with "One may" which is kind of pretentious and grandiose right off the bad. Oh good, we're in for a lecture about life on some pseudo philosophical level here. Maybe that would be acceptable if this was written by a real genius with some significant insight, but the clunkiness of your writing, and how you try to sound grandiose in important to mask your lack of content is pretty telling, so I already know you don't have any deep insight.

You don't even have enough self reflection to edit "As is possible," down to "as possible," so how can I be expected to take you seriously? Then there's the fact that your third sentence is a bloated mess of incoherence, lacking even a sense of poignancy or even relevance to what I'm not even sure your point is.

So in short, no idea what you're even saying in your opening paragraph, and you're also not even saying it in an interesting way. It's rambling nonsense. Maybe you have a point, I dunno, but it's not apparent here.

>ficciones
are you fucking kidding me?
vignettes have their place but the short story contributes far more

>love can make you do things you never thought was possible
>was

Just cut open my veins senpai

To know if you are improving, open up something you've written but haven't looked at for a few weeks or months. If you can read it without seeing any revisions that need to be made, you have not improved.

This

user, it was hard to make out the point of the story -- i read it rather quickly, but the density (which when pulled or works fine, though here it was muddled) obscured it. was it only an autist having a conversation with his boss about being fired?

also, i know this is going to hurt getting slammed by Veeky Forums. frankly, it's a good thing. the first stories i ever wrote were garbage and i thought they were great; it was wrenching getting workshop feedback on how cliche they were. but since then ive learned and now write much, much better.

one of the issues here is voice -- youre character is pontificating as if they were some sort of highbrow type, not a basic white collar worker. it doesnt fit and it really emphasizes the autistic part (why should i be judged for not going out for drinks?) you also don't give us much to go on; the entire piece is the rambling thoughts of the narrator, which hardly touch anything concrete. you cant just deal in abstracts for an entire story -- you need to orient us in the world so we know what to grip. like others said, i was lost in the first paragraph

HAHAHAHAHA

Just stop my man.

This.

Op you are putting all your effort in the wrong place. You're story is essentially: this world is harsh. I will walk into the room and the manager will talk down to me. That's life! You need to come up with a better story. You can't hide the emptiness behind fancy syntax.

The thing about seeming smart is it can't be forced. People can tell when you are trying to impress them even if they are idiots. You have to try to clearly, or at least sincerely, express something that is valuable for people to consider your genius.

more to the point; there's no way you could have been 100% satisfied with this when you were done.

So why'd you send it out?

>light-years are a time measurement
please stop embarrassing yourself

That is certainly one way to write. I don't know, man. I could recommend you to not make your unlikable characters the main focus of your writing. Nobody wants a pretentious "introverted" asshole to tell us why life is unfair and how normie the world is.
You shouldn't stop writing or sending your work out though.

You know how Forrest Gump told a good story without having to pretend he was some19th century aristocrat?

My favorite author recently is haruki murakami because of how readable and expressive his writing is. Obviously it's been translated but I believe the translation depicts the original style. You should read Norwegian wood and see if it can help influence your voice.

It's pretty easy to overestimate the worth of your own writing. You, as the sole architect of the work, are aware of all the author's intentions, the reasoning behind specific wording, etc. When you know a piece of writing so intimately, I'd say it's impossible to compare it to others in a way that excludes bias.

op why do you want to be a writer anyway?

would you write if you knew ahead of timer you'd never get published?

make sure you arent building your dreams around vanity, it wont work out and you'll waste a lot of time.

Why would writing around vanity won't work out as oppose to writing because "i like to write" if the passion and effort to do so is the same?

>It's pretty easy to overestimate the worth of your own writing.

that happens sometimes, there's plenty of things I thought were my best work ever and I'd revisit them only to discover they were garbage. That happens to everyone in every profession though, nobody is on all the time.

>When you know a piece of writing so intimately, I'd say it's impossible to compare it to others in a way that excludes bias.

well you'd be wrong. Aside from the fact that I have no clue what your reasoning is behind this incoherent statement, it doesn't matter because it's still wrong. If you know a piece intimately, you know it's faults to, which every story has.

Another big lesson in writing isn't just living inside your own head, and recognizing when you're not speaking to an audience anymore. Know what you're trying to say, and whether you're saying it effectively, not just rehashing ideas that you take for granted as understood in your own mind.

You're also not really comparing it to others. At the end of the day, the only real basis of judgement is whether or not you're genuinely happy with it (and not just telling yourself that you are).

because if you dont actually like the act of writing, and judging from those posts also suck at it, you are literally wasting your life doing something you dont enjoy for a really longshot gamble. if you just want to have something to brag about set an easier to achieve goal for christs sake. or doing the emotionall healthy not childish thing and spend our life doing things you like.

Look, I don't care if you've read Hamlet 1,000 times, you still wouldn't be able to discern and interpret every little detail Shakespeare inserted. But guess what? Shakespeare could, because he wrote the damn thing. I find it very strange that you could agree to the first part you quoted and then call the second "incoherent", considering it directly follows. If you can agree that writers have a tendency to overestimate the worth of the output, how could you possibly think you can make a valid comparison with other works?

dude, read your posts out loud. mark twain once said something like "sorry for the lack of brevity; I didn't have enough time to write this." You know how to command language but not in a way that flows well or with any precision. frankly it sucks
just trying to help

>pastebin.com/ecLFUfwN
u say "will" way too fucking much, there are ways around this

and your sentences are too long

Just read more and you'll get it.

Do you think I'm the OP?

You're a big fan of Thomas Ligotti, aren't you? This reads a lot like a bad Thomas Ligotti. Most of the reason why you're getting rejected is because writing in this verbose way has long gone out of style. Even wordy authors like meme-saint David Foster Wallace pay homage to the altar of Raymond Carver.
Read more contemporary stuff, especially Carver, to get an understanding of what I mean.

I honestly have no idea what your point even is. So.....because authors know their writing intimately.....that means they can't judge it, because they're obviously going to like it...or something?

They would be forgetting that ALL authors write tons of stuff they never bother to get published because they're ultimately unhappy with. Shakespeare for example, wrote over a hundred plays, he only actually produced a few dozen. Stephen king has about 50 books sitting around that he thought were garbage.

That's kind of the process, you write, sometimes you fail. If you have any intuition, you recognize when you do it. You then trash this project, and move on.

nah my b i hit reply to the wrong post. it was meant for OP

It's more that they should only compare judgments that were formed in similar ways. You can compare things you wrote yourself, but you shouldn't compare them with works by other authors.

i suggest trashing this project and reading more

>but you shouldn't compare them with works by other authors.

and.....why not...? And...why would you in the first place?

I have no clue still how this is relevant to anything.

>intentional misreading
typical shortstoryfag

>he doesnt even have the attention soan to read/write a novella

#
>intentional misreading
typical shortstoryfag

#
>he doesnt even have the attention span to read/write a novella

>Oprah Book Club author, Nah'Mean Jackson-Levy

you dont read enough if you dont know how to spot good writing

I don't mean to offend or sound overly harsh, user, but your prose needs work. It reads like if HP Lovecraft had eaten a thesaurus and a high school English paper then vomited on a page. I was half-expecting a four-dimensional abomination to show up and rip everyone a new, maddening asshole.

The style of prose is very important is establishing setting. Unless you're writing some Reddit-tier sci-fi you would not put a character spewing internet memes in a galactic battle in the far future. Same with your story. From the context (mention of florescent lights) I assume it takes place in modern times, but the narrator sounds like an anachronism from the Victorian era. I can picture him in a top hat looking at a taxi cab and wondering "Oh my word. What a queer carriage this is!"

user, I don't want to discourage you from writing. I want to help you. It is my wish that you keep writing and improve. IMPROVE. I want you to improve, nigger. I am not doing this to be a jerk. I love you, user, you fucking degenerate. I want to flip open a magazine someday and read your works. I hurt you because I care, user.

Now, time to strip flesh from bone and see what made this guy kick the bucket:

>One may live as decent a life as is possible in this largely repulsive world, keeping mostly at bay the desire to annihilate oneself or others, while uttering no more than some thirteen or fourteen words. What these words may be is not the subject of this story, nor is the number itself anything but an estimation designed to placate those who cannot conceive of saying nothing at all.

You establish these "14 words" and immediately throw them out the window. You have created an expectation that isn't fulfilled. Your introductory paragraph is null. Not a good way to start.It's obviously important since you dedicated your opening statement to them. What did the main character say? "I do not want to work for you, you guys are faggots" ? That's 14 words.

>That just isn't how it works. Let me explain, albeit briefly, the nature of human endeavor...

I can't picture some middle-manager office drone saying anything like this. Not even if he's some pretentious tard.

That's the main gripe I have with this. It took me several reads to actually "get" what it was about. It made me feel dyslexic. The language used suggests a FAR greater gravity than what is actually happening. It sounds like two intellectuals discussing the meaning of life when in reality it's just a wage-cuck getting chewed out by his boss in a cubicle farm. That couldn't be more boring and mundane if it tried.

The whole thing sets up an expectation that is never delivered. It brings you a heavy plate that smells of steak, but when you uncover it it's just a stale Whopper with a bite taken out of it.

^ That guy said what I just said but in fewer words. Could that be a parallel to something? Hmm... really activates the ol' almonds.

>pastebin.com/ecLFUfwN
Stop listing Eliot Rodger as an influence, that might help.

On a more serious note, try writing sentences as you would speak them in a casual conversation first draft. And if this is your idea of a casual conversation then what the fuck senpai. Keep things simple to start and add embellishments on later if you feel you have to.

You're very verbose, and that's fine, but only in moderation.

KISS is a great rule. Keep. It. Simple. Stupid.

This is pretty accurate.
I write a lot, but most of the time when I reread my short stories later, I think they suck or that they need a lot of work.
Once I wrote something that just felt great and complete. Sent it to a national literary contest, got selected as a finalist and got 1000 canadian loonies for that.
Since then, there haven't been anything that I felt I could send or anything.
So you just know it I think.

You clearly have not taken this to a writer's group. They would have torn this shit to shreds.

just self-publish

rofl

Start with a brief sentence that implies a specific conflict. From there, develop your main character & the conflict further. Use sensory imagery. Establish stakes. Give the plot twists and turns. Have a sense of drama, of irony. Be specific. Don't inject pseudo-philosophy into it; themes should come naturally from the events that take place. If a character is stating the theme, especially if that character is the narrator, then something's wrong. The only possible exception to this is if that statement happens very close to the end of the story.

Make your stuff more fun to read. If not fun, then scary, or heartbreaking, or gripping in some other way. I should be scrambling to get to the next sentence, either to understand why something happened, or to see what happens next. I should give a shit about what's going on. Right now, I don't.

For an example of how to do this properly, read The Metamorphosis. It's incredibly tight, well-paced, and thematically rich. It's also something everyone should read, anyway.

i actually couldn't be bothered to finish reading it.
the vocabulary you're using absolutely doesn't fit the story of the tone, what the fuck.

Did OP kill himself?

these kind of threads are why i read Veeky Forums

...

You're trying too hard, which has made your writing stilted. Nothing in it "flows". If it sounds bad when you read it out loud it isn't good writing.

Just leave your work to be published posthumously.
You wouldn't even get any money from publishing them in your lifetime, anyway.

why do people who aren't jewish yale grads waste their time trying to be authors? you could write the greatest thing every written, no one is gonna publish it dude, why do you think chinese people all do stem shit? it's not because "asians are good at math" it's because stem is objective so it's harder for judeo-protestant cliques to discriminate against them

i think he actually did, wouldn't blame him.

he got fucking roasted.

there's literally a gay black Jewish rapper who's stage name is Y Love.

I sincerely hope to whatever powers rule the heavens that this is bait. The idea that anyone make 50 serious attempts to write a story and ended up here is beyond distressing, I can't accept it.

have you considered amazon's self-publishing service?

What magazines or websites are you sending this to? What else happens in the story? I'd honestly think about starting again. Unless you're shooting for fans of Victorian or early 20th century style weird fiction, I can't imagine anyone wanting to read that story, and even then it's a stretch unless something really interesting happens after the conversation with the boss. It might help to read your writing aloud.

Chinese people in places like Singapore and Malaysia also gravitate towards stem.

To begin, there are a lot of technical, grammatical errors throughout, and a lot of useless adjectives. A character this certain of his worldview needs to be exact and total. Be more declarative.

I like how anticipatory it is— the tense throughout manifests a character obsessed with anticipation and fear, but his intellect is undercut as you emphasize and give credit to the boss’ superior perspective and know-how given his higher role in the company. If the narrator is truly worth listening to, is truly as grounded and wise as you convey, his appraisals of the manager must be unacceptable.

Your narrator’s cognizance of his setting and its socioeconomic climate feels Orwellian. I would go deeper with the terminology in regards to the company’s small footstep in that crass, socioeconomic jungle. Really emphasize how big of a thinker the narrator is, just make sure it really reads as succinctly as possible.

Dude, it's not as bad as everyone says it is, but it's basically David Foster Wallace. Especially like the intro to Infinite Jest. You have to develop a voice and read more.

A bit off topic, but what are some good markets for short fiction? Ones that are open to unpublished writers would be great. I know of a handful and can find lists of hundreds more, but I'd like some actual recs from my autistic friends

Alright guys, let me give you an excerpt of the story I'm working on since OP is a lost cause.

The beach was hot, but the water cool,
A deadly combination that would have Tyrone play the fool.

Tyrone had just finished his last day of summer school. He knew he wasn't book smart like all the white honor roll kids or his Uncle Tom teacher, Dr. Jones. Finishing a third session of MLK High's summer program only proved this point. But, he would be a senior and make his mom proud by graduating in the spring for whatever that'd be worth. Hell, senior year wasn't anything more than teenage babysitting at its core. Of course he could make something out of it if he planned to "further his education," but he wasn't interested and never had been. Tyrone thought college was a scam. You work and you die. How you make your money doesn't make a lick of different, so fuck it. There are always janitorial jobs and he damn well knew McDonald's hires 24/7, seven days a week. The beautiful thing about working a sucker job is that you can always say fuck it and pack up shop. Tyrone would never have to be a corporate kiss ass. He'd never have to worry about the job market being bad. He'd never have to hear a single, "GOODNESS ME, MICHAEL! WHERE ARE THOSE SPREADSHEETS? IT'S DARN NEAR 5 O'CLOCK!" As long as he wanted work, he'd find it. He wasn't stupid or lazy, not really. Tyrone was just uninspired. For some people the stars aren't worth reaching for. Even if he worked his ass off in school and went to college, the best he could hope to do is become another Dr. "Uncle Tom" Jones. He didn't want that. So when the bell rang and he walked down the steps of MLK High at the end of his third consecutive "Summer Learning Session," Tyrone wanted nothing more than enjoy the last few weeks before Fall Semester started back up.

He got a text and glanced down at his phone. "Beach?" his cousin had texted. Tyrone and everyone he knew were over 70 miles from the nearest beach, but what the hell. It beat sitting at home playing videogames with a busted A/C unit. He wrote back, "yo def. Wat time?" He had walked almost halfway back home and sweated all the way through his wife-beater before his cousin called to explain his family would be going out tomorrow morning to celebrate his dad getting paroled. The first thing his dad wanted to do after getting out was to smoke up some ribs and barbeque chicken on the beach like their grandad used to do back in the day. It was supposed to be an immediate-family only affair, but Tyrone had been like a brother to his cousin Marquis and Marquis urged his parents to bring is cousin along. So, Tyrone got the invite and agreed to be picked up the following day around Ten O'clock.

Tyrone got back home and was hit by a wall of heat as he opened the flimsy apartment door. As he sat down in his room and booted up the PS4, he thought his time on the beach couldn't come soon enough...

OP, if you're still alive, what I would recommend is to switch up what you are reading. The way you write is based off of the voices and styles of writers you read until you find your own voice and style, which can take a lifetime. I'll be honest, I can't stand to read what was in the link you provided. However, if you try to switch up your style and keep your diction simpler, you'll see a big shift in your writing. Getting better only comes from a lot of practice and experimentation, so don't be afraid to try something new. Other than that, read more, no matter how much you are reading now it isn't enough, and read a variety of texts. Hopefully you didn't kys, surprisingly I don't think Veeky Forums was even too harsh on you today.